Guild Wars 2

Now looking for the elusive players who like to WvW on builds that are entertaining, fun and super crazy to play.

Come for the sauce. Stay because I’m like the Boss. Just not as much denim.

Been with GOATS now for a few weeks, watching them grow, having a blast! Lots more to come. Super chill group with some big plans

Also, I recently discovered all the weird noises goats make. I feel like I’ve lived a very sheltered life.

On a serious note, Goats of Thunder is a breath of fresh air. WvW outings are a low stress environment and tons of fun. Theory crafting is encouraged and we constantly seek to better ourselves.

On a not so serious note… joining the GOAT clan has taught me two things.

1) Pants are a societal norm that we deem optional
2) Goats make a variety of noises, all of which are entertaining

“Hello? Is it meeee you are looking for. Oh I wonder where you are, I wonder what you’ll dooooo. But let me start by saying, I want yoouuuuu.”

Sometimes the best way to apply love is with conditions. My love knows no boundaries. Other than about five people. That is really about it.

You know what is best when applied to your enemies? Malt-O-Meal. We have tons of this stuff. Don’t miss the great TC giveaway going on this week! You just have to join my guild in order for me to reveal the secret location.

Sometimes we share greeting cards in guild chat that are meaningful to all of us. Those cards come from Denmakh. It is right next to New Jersey and features cards that are definitely Sweeten.

Upon entry to the guild, one must quote Spongebob the first time you are in Discord or Teamspeak. it is known

I once shaved my own name in the back of my head in case of amnesia. Never once did it occur to me that isn’t useful if I cannot see what I wrote.

Do you want to be a part of the hottest, most amazing singing sensation this side of Anet headquarters? Me too. When you find that guild let me know. Until then, feel free to join the GOATs!

You may think a Yak attack is the most vicious but you’ve not experienced the insanity of the Goat business.

Perhaps the best thing that will summon this guild: Questionable humor and pasties. I meant pastries. Definitely pastries.

Still seeking people who look, taste and feel like David Hasslehoff.

Do you ever find yourself making funny faces in the mirror and talking with a strange voice out loud? If you do, please consider at least imitating a Brass Monkey in our guild hall arena. Nothing is better looking like Ronald McDonald in a wind storm!

Purse your lips. Make an incredibly weird face. Say “dancers with pigs”. Now, apply directly at the forum to join this fantastic guild.

Now is the time to join folks! We have an expansion reveal next week, an aspiring team of technicians calculating the possibilities of where we are heading to next as characters and a monkey. Currently the monkey is looking on suspiciously while I type and I think he may shiv me.

Still looking for co-ed parties on top of the ruins. The Southeast of course. Gotta make you sweaty first.

Oh drat. Wrong forums.

Now we return you to the proud adventures of Carl. This scene can be played by any gender association or preference for activities. We have secretly mixed Tarnished Coast and Piken Square members together. Let us see what happens!

It may be peanut butter and jelly time.

Now featuring complete and utter destruction for our morale character leading up to the expansion. We must have a cleansed and open palete in order to fully experience the enemy.

Was that weird? It was weird wasn’t it?

Now recruiting people for the Glorious GOAT Winged Armada. We shall descend from on high to attend the glorious needs of the server, defend the borderlands and shun all who declare pants to be necessary.

Walking the world in need of excellent playmates. Now the bunny kind. Well, we can talk.

Do you want to ride in my charr car? I have an express desire to feel the wind in my hair. With you by my side we can do anything for love. But I won’t do that. Don’t even ask.

This just in: The new Preparation H elixir for Engineers that pairs really well with the Gold Bond armor for guardians.

Now featuring nightly runs to go and feed the starving cats throughout Tyria.

I really am holding out for a hero. I’ll take some villains though. You decide.

Some nights I tag up and whisper quiet sweet nothings to myself in a squad. What is crazy is I actually still get loot from this.

Desperately seeking Suuuuusan. If you know where my heavily muscled, bacon eating partner has gone to let me know. We need those gains. She completes me by lifting me into he swan position in drive thru windows.

I don’t know. Do you vegemite?

Last night we danced a dance of one thousand yaks. It is like that one thousand sword cuts thingy, except it definitely does not smell as nice.

I believe that underwater GvG matches are sorely underrated. My guild boasts the most underwater legendaries of any WvW in the game. Truly most people won’t admit they have them so I could be off base here.

I need a new home and it’s cold outside.
Can I come in?

Goats live in houses? I hope they are house broken…if not, it is gonna be one smelly house. But you guys could kitten flowers for all I know about goats.

eta…yay kittens

Luna Peregrina.5708:

I need a new home and it’s cold outside.
Can I come in?

We welcome all lost souls and those who enjoy tiny territories with low rent opportunity! I sent you an invite.

whimsical.2791:

Goats live in houses? I hope they are house broken…if not, it is gonna be one smelly house. But you guys could kitten flowers for all I know about goats.

eta…yay kittens

Or we could spontaneously grant wishes for the small minor payment of a kitten. But that would seem weird. GOATs live where they want! Ever see those oddball ones that sleep on the side of mountains? Not even near a Starbucks!

Do you ever want to run with me? Do you ever want to see me cry (BOMB BOMB BOMB)? Restless zergs make me defensive, together we can dance all niiiiiiight.

Now seeking lost souls to add to my collection. I’m not even a ginger. I just like people. We’ve had a number of brand new players join in the past week. If you want some pointers, tips and explanation on WvW, this is a great time to jump in before the expansion!

Hoping to use gliding while playing flight of the bumblebee and scaring people with our magnificent buzzing sounds and yellow spandex. Apply within.

This just in: Leather farming in Lake Doric has resulted in various forms of gear being fashioned for questionable purposes. I’m going in to examine this carefully.

Now featuring dancing in the dark choreography routines. I got lost at some point in Obsidium Sanctum back in 2015. My life has never been the same since.

Mork from Ork is calling all fellow aliens home. Naanoooo naaanooooo.

Calling all TC Natives home to the clan of the wild Goat! Come run with us in WvW content, gear up and hang with a guild that enjoys highly suggestible social banter.

Plus we now offer Scouts a free side dish of your choice.

Hey TC folks!

Trying to find the right WvW guild for you? Watch this video and let us know if you like fights like this!

(The end is pretty worth it!) https://youtu.be/lQgHAHomsJ8

Below this page you’ll see a link to a GW2 Asset Kit. You know the greatest asset to this game? You dear reader. Hook up with like minded individuals, who enjoy being part of a family (including the weird uncle) and don’t mind taking the time to explain the subtle nuances.

Like charr cars. Those are amazing.

Ever feel stress in deciding what to do for the evening? Allow us to pick for you! We have a revolving door of choices resulting in mostly successful endeavors. Just don’t hit the Red Door. No one returns the same from that.