Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

in Fractals, Dungeons & Raids

Posted by: AlienMenace.7516

AlienMenace.7516

I don’t really post but I frequently check out the dungeon forums looking for advice and tips. I thought I’d write you all a poem based on what I’ve seen and learned here.

Dungeon A-B-C’s (A Dungeon Forum Poem and Mini-Guide):

A is for Armor,
but it’s not that important.
With a well-timed evade,
you can simply ignore it.

B’s for Berserker’s,
it’s the cream of the crop.
Be warned if you don’t use it,
some will tell you “just stop.”

C is for Cleric’s;
all those healers and such.
It’s not so bad per se;
just can’t hurt things too much.

D is for DPS,
or “deeps” as they say.
Trinity in itself;
melt the danger away.

E’s for Evade,
or a dodge or a block.
Learn to use them all wisely,
and your runs will all rock.

F’s for Forward-up,
former path (Twilight Arbor).
Now instead we have Scarlet;
dungeons are no safe harbor.

G is for Gear check,
there are those who will try it.
Think it makes for good groups?
TBH, I don’t buy it.

H is for Hit points,
and the bosses have plenty.
Control/heals are no option,
so just zerk ‘till it’s empty.

I is for Inquest,
Subject Alpha, it’s strange;
you’ll be down on the ground
if you fight it at range.

J is for Justice,
and indeed it is Great.
Gives great boons to the party;
there is nothing to hate.

K is for “Kitten,”
which replaces the speech
of the heated debates,
over what’s the best deeps.

L is for Lupi,
the destroyer of PUGs.
Truth be told, I can’t beat it;
guess I’m one of those scrubs.

M is for Merge,
bane of all our existence.
One moment there’s a party,
then the next one there isn’t.

N is for Newbie,
we were all one at first.
But when one joins their party,
all the vets act their worst.

O’s for Overpowered.
Is it so? There’s no quorum.
If you think it’s too strong,
come complain on the forum.

P is for PUG,
when you’re in a real rush.
But you get what you pay for,
so don’t hope for too much.

Q is for Quit;
rage in groups of all kinds.
Instance gone in instants,
all have Q’s in their eyes. (QQ)

R is for Ranger,
and what can I say?
Misses all of the buffs,
as he fights far away.

S is for Stacking,
a valid approach.
Share the buffs, focus deeps;
this demands no reproach.

T is for Teamspeak,
it’s a favorite of guilds.
Working right, it works wonders,
fixing most dungeon ills.

U is for Upgrade,
might I recommend zerk?
But if you want Ascended,
it will be too much work.

V’s for Vulnerability,
and at twenty-five stacks,
you can melt any face off,
so you’ll really kick…kitten…

W is for Warrior,
truly king of the pack.
Only great at the following:
buffs, defense, and attack.

X is for “eXperienced,”
major creed of speed-clear.
Always slow to fill up;
last lists to disappear.

Y is for “Your way,”
main playstyle of the zergs.
Caring not for the meta,
they should stay with their herds.

Z’s for Zerk-meta,
it’s a thing – heck it’s IT.
Other build are great elsewhere,
Dungeons, though? Might not fit.

Hope you got at least a little chuckle out of this.

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

in Fractals, Dungeons & Raids

Posted by: AirimirOfGondor.9081

AirimirOfGondor.9081

W is for Warrior,
truly king of the pack.
Only best at the following:
buffs, defense, and attack.

Fix’d that for you.

Seriously though, this is great.

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

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Posted by: Lilith Ajit.6173

Lilith Ajit.6173

10/10 would read again

[ARES]
And all who stood by and did nothing, who are they to criticize the sacrifices of others?
Our blood has bought their lives.

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

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Posted by: noobgood.8762

noobgood.8762

What if you sing and upload it for us?

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

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Posted by: Darthaemos.6370

Darthaemos.6370

I was entertained!

This poem would be awesome if you illustrated it out like a children’s book with each stanza/letter taking up a page. Nice cute drawing of a little Asura warrior for “W”, for example.

Birgitte / Graendhal / Aveandha
Death and Taxes [DnT] | http://www.dtguilds.com/

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

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Posted by: Cynn.1490

Cynn.1490

I would personally enjoy this as an audiobook read by Samuel L Jackson.

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

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Posted by: Doomoira.8731

Doomoira.8731

Cool poem! Quite funny!

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

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Posted by: dlonie.6547

dlonie.6547

That’s hilarious. Kitten and PUG had me dying xD

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

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Posted by: Anierna.6918

Anierna.6918

Great job. We ought to start compiling a list of this stuff. We have….: All is Vain, The DPS Trinity, Dungeon ABC’s, and Swifty’s Patch Notes. Any other artwork for the hall of fame? I don’t think jokes like MindBrain are worthy though. Maybe Lilith’s Ogden story? That was good.

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

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Posted by: Sera.6539

Sera.6539

I is for Inquest,
Subject Alpha, it’s strange;
you’ll be down on the ground
if you fight it at range.

I know you were just trying to rhyme, but before stacking became the popular thing to do, Alpha was fought at melee and range quite equally. It’s just that most people don’t know how to fight it now if Alpha walks astray from stacking point.

Gelda Nebilim – Nagare [NGE] – Crystal Desert
http://youtube.com/user/Royblazer

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

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Posted by: deSade.9437

deSade.9437

Dem metrics. They’re making my eyes bleed.
Other than that, I call a GG. Make it a song?
/casualscarletfarmer
P.S. Sera is incredibly funny at parties.

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

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Posted by: laharl.8435

laharl.8435

Good one.

Bright’s ode to the cof p1 farmers to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody is a classic!

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

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Posted by: Sera.6539

Sera.6539

Dem metrics. They’re making my eyes bleed.
Other than that, I call a GG. Make it a song?
/casualscarletfarmer
P.S. Sera is incredibly funny at parties.

It was meant to be a fun fact type of trivia. I enjoyed the poems, I just thought “well, that’s teeeeechnically not true.”

Gelda Nebilim – Nagare [NGE] – Crystal Desert
http://youtube.com/user/Royblazer

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

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Posted by: Flissy.4093

Flissy.4093

10/10. I lol’d.

Light Up the Darkness
“Dear ANet, nerf Paper, Scissors is fine. Sincerely, Rock”
Elysaurus | Warrior | [LOL] | League of the Legendary | Gandara (EU)

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

in Fractals, Dungeons & Raids

Posted by: deSade.9437

deSade.9437

K is for “Kitten,”
which replaces the speech
of the heated debates,
over what’s the best deeps.
L is for Lupi,
the destroyer of PUGs.
Truth be told, I can’t beat it;
guess I’m one of those scrubs.

These are the best ones IMO.

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

in Fractals, Dungeons & Raids

Posted by: Warcry.1596

Warcry.1596

I would personally enjoy this as an audiobook read by Samuel L Jackson.

Every other word said would be “kitten”, Morgan Freeman better narrator

“He shall make whole that which was torn asunder.
Restore that which was lost. And all shall be as one.”

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

in Fractals, Dungeons & Raids

Posted by: dlonie.6547

dlonie.6547

I would personally enjoy this as an audiobook read by Samuel L Jackson.

Every other word said would be “kitten”, Morgan Freeman better narrator

I dunno, that still sounds pretty awesome.

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

in Fractals, Dungeons & Raids

Posted by: Jigokuni.5397

Jigokuni.5397

Great job! Goes to show that dungeon-ing can be as light heart-ed as games have intended.

Maybe sometimes people need to be reminded and need only think of this poem.

Dungeon A-B-C’s (Dungeon Poem/Mini-Guide)

in Fractals, Dungeons & Raids

Posted by: Tentonhammr.7849

Tentonhammr.7849

I would personally enjoy this as an audiobook read by Morgan Freeman.

FTFY.

Zelendel