Guild Wars 2

Sometimes, when browsing through the LFG tool, i just can’t help but think “Why!?”, whilst shaking my head, laughing or sometimes both at the same time.

I read masterpieces, such as “TA fw /lv80 /exp /zerg /10k+AP /no Ranger”, made by a thief. (yes, “zerg”)
Or how about “AC p3 teach how to solo endboss /any class /only 50g”?

A special place in my heart will always belong to simply “p1”, created by a LV19 necro with about 250AP.

What were your best LFG reads so far?

Edit:
This thread has now also devoted itself to the wonders and adventures of PUGs.
Share your funny PUG stories and let of some steam of, about the frustrations of pick-up grouping.
You are not alone! #puglyfe

Note: Keep it civil and no callouts!

hmm.
“only asuras with golem elite” when those things bugged out
“war/guard/mes”
“no necros” opened by a necro
“lf 1 support guard” that was in coe, 4 warriors advertising that. I’m pretty sure support meant cleric or something like that.
“NO NOOBS P1 SPEEDRUN LV 79+” by that level 79 guy.

Those are the most commons/ the ones i remember the most, but there’s always a tragic lfg going on if you pay attention.

Not mine, but someone posted a pic here of a LFG with the words “no pugs” in it

“P1 zerk speed. Join fast or be kicked.”

I still don’t know what he meant by that…

Tentonhammr.7849:

“P1 zerk speed. Join fast or be kicked.”

I still don’t know what he meant by that…

He comes to your home and kicks you, if you don’t join fast. :P

My all time favourite will be “have tank, need healer and BRING CAKE” :’)
I have a soft spot for troll lfgs.

I loved “p1 – must be in SC, LuPi, rT, Vs, Pug” for… Citadel of Flame, too.

Some lfgs from my collection.

http://imgur.com/a/W3ayJ

My friend created this LFG on the weekend:

“TA Forward + Up. Your AP must be a prime number!”

Incredibly, we DID get two PUGs whose AP were prime numbers. O.o

Tentonhammr.7849:

“P1 zerk speed. Join fast or be kicked.”

I still don’t know what he meant by that…

Probably meant join instance fast or be kicked. I’ve had parties held up by people crafting/clearing inventory/walking via asura gate to the dungeon zone so I can see where this one is coming from especially for some of the shorter paths.

I find it funny when people list “story, experienced only” since I doubt that there are many people who regularly run story modes.

Gonna type them out because I’m too lazy to edit the screenshots. :P

“p3 zerker mlg noscopers only. Must link legendary sniper rifle or kick. No mousesharks”
“<READ>CONDI GUARDS ONLY, PING ON JOIN”
“LF1M P3 no vampire lords or werewolves allowed, #teamedward”
“P3 #rideordie #yoloswag #potato #swagyolo #yoswagolo #olosywag #swaswag #swiggityswag”
“50 – Bloomhunger – NO LEEROYS – you leeroy I Kick”

I create “px, 80 zerk fashionable only” :p

One is the lonliest number that you’ll ever do.
Two can be as bad as one but it’s the path we’ll do.

Tentonhammr.7849:

“P1 zerk speed. Join fast or be kicked.”

I still don’t know what he meant by that…

He probably means those guys who join the group but take ages to get into the actual dungeon

LFGs:

“AC All paths, braincheck, ping brain on arrival”

" TA up, fw, no BHBs"

" Arah P2, melee lupi, only clerics, gearcheck"

Lol Terissimo has a good collection. Why are there so many zerg (meaning zerk I presume) posts lately ._. I once saw “Adventures in Pugland p1” or “Pugadventures” in Arah.

We were two people short for a guild run and I posted a LFG that said something to the effect of “Must say ’I’m Hodor’ on join or kick.” Then we proceeded to Hodor the heck out of the Hodor of Waves. A fun time was had by all….upon finishing one of the pugs said “You guys are crazy.”

One we posted asked for people to say “I love Toast”…. it’s always fun to see if people read the LFG or just blindly join.

I did see an AC path 1 LFG asking to ping ascended gear on join. o.O

I must miss all the best lfgs! Those are epic!

“LF healer guard”
“no noobs, no french, no canadians”
“no salads” -> then i was kicked after entering with a sylvari
+ this:

dominik.9721:

One is the lonliest number that you’ll ever do.
Two can be as bad as one but it’s the path we’ll do.

I so want to use this anytime I’m doing a path2.

‘’AC path 1 80 EXP only Heavy skip Kogel’’

The kogel thing made me laugh so much.

“p1p2 lesbian marathon”

A cof run, it was average, but I enjoyed the conversation.

ehh I’ve got loads but can’t remember all of them. Here are some of the memorable ones:

- TA up + fwd with blackjack and hookers (I’m assuming he was kicked from one of the other lfg’s)

- AC P1&3, no male asuras (for some reason)

- SE P1 farmbox only warrs ping gear, get with the pros (I didn’t know pros only used warriors)

I should have screenshot the ones I saw! Off the top of my head—

• Open World: “British man for sale, 50g.” A necro joined, and the LFG changed to “Discount! British man for sale, 25g, plus free necro.”

• CoF1? “Must answer why birds suddenly appear every time you are near.”

Was selling P2 and I was “undercutting” the other sellers. I listed for 6g99s99c while they listed for 7g.

First image Person came in and send me 6g99s99c.

Also, there was this guy who didn’t have an LFG posted, but I was trying to get through the maze in Cursed Shore to get at the Rich Mithril Node. He stood on top of the maze and told me if I could beat the Champion, I would be rewarded.

I fought him once, and died due to the Risen respawning fast (really fast).

I fought him again with a bad build. Pulled him to the corner but didn’t know his animations so I died almost instantly.

I fought him again but paid attention to his animations and was slowly whittling him down. Didn’t quite get the hang of his abilities and died.

I fought him again and swapped my build to a terrible build specifically meant to counter him. After roughly 5 minutes of avoiding, dodging, rolling, dazing, distracting, and kiting, I killed him.

The guy on top of the maze told me I was the first person he’d seen solo the Champion and rewarded me (even though I failed the challenge, technically).

Second Image Long story short, I got this mail. Never looted it and keep it as a token for remember ingenuity over meta builds.

Only the first was an LFG, but I felt like the second one could have been an LFG.

15potatoesssssss

My only funny ones include seeing dummies put “path 1” under Living World Open Content instead of the actual dungeon tab.

I can imagine really well what happened beforehand

Fractals 20-something: “BEARBOWS ONLY!” It filled before I could join, unfortunately, and wasn’t pure bearbow.

Also:

“bearbow only”
“fashion elitists only”
“zergburgers only”

and… the one that started it all.

P.S. I’m getting owned by 2 banshees in ME q.q not ready for l33t hardmode yet. Why can I hit people with swords and bows but I suck with guns and rifles?

I’ve just read “AC P3 50kAP lv80 exp”.
It already came this far…i wonder when the first “Dungeoneer Title or kick” LFG’s are showing up.

We tried fashionable zergburgers today, worked at 50% efficiency. Not bad.

Haha this thread is pure gold. More pls

Like a poster above me said, it’s unbelievable how many LFG under world content just say “p1” or something. Then I see these spots get filled and I just don’t understand.

I saw one under CoF p1 that said: 80s zerk meta speed run 30k+ AP.
I saw there were some people in it. I decided to join just because I wanted to see people with that many points. I then learned they were all sitting on an average amount and were like, lol just trollin’ man all are we welcome. The following run one was one the smoothest and entertaining runs I’ve done there ha.

deSade.9437:

“bearbow only”
“fashion elitists only”
“zergburgers only”

and… the one that started it all.

P.S. I’m getting owned by 2 banshees in ME q.q not ready for l33t hardmode yet. Why can I hit people with swords and bows but I suck with guns and rifles?

wow noob just spam biotic finishers on them screb

ive never actually played me3 below insanity so i have no idea what the other difficulty levels are like :p

i did try:

“Sell P2| boss 1%, prize uuhh…length of ur Frizchen in gold (REC) full legit solo ofc”

but nobody joined so i changed it to

" Sell P2 | pay what ever u think is appropriate"

Edit: In case u don’t know: Firtzchen is only the cute version of the name Fritz.

/15 charrs walk into a bar

maha.7902:

deSade.9437:

“bearbow only”
“fashion elitists only”
“zergburgers only”

and… the one that started it all.

P.S. I’m getting owned by 2 banshees in ME q.q not ready for l33t hardmode yet. Why can I hit people with swords and bows but I suck with guns and rifles?

wow noob just spam biotic finishers on them screb

ive never actually played me3 below insanity so i have no idea what the other difficulty levels are like :p

WELL I’M NOT AN ADEPT kitten ME RIGHT
/cries holding alistair’s picture
But yeah, I killed them. I just had to be more mobile and stop standing around like an idiot. I don’t know why I tend to lose focus whenever I’m aiming… weird.

lvl49 Swamp Ready, Second map.

I saw once in Open World Content lfg “lf bf im 18”. Also in Dungeons lfg “p3 no uglies” and “p1 swamp ready”.

Scarlet Moon.6409:

“p1 swamp ready”.

I saw that today on the arah LFG.

I’ve tried adding “zergburgers” to my LFG…doesn’t work so well.

“P1 20K+AP, PING FULL ASCENDED 3LEGENDARIES I need you to carry me” for CoF….

If I’m feeling whimsical I sometimes put in references to dialogue.

SE p1: Employee reviews are due next month, impress me by helping Ferg
SE p3: Yes, yes yes! Let’s go to the armoury, that’s where Zadurojhny is likely to be
CM p1: KABOOM! I mean, that will do nicely.
TA up: It’s Fyonna’s horrid beast, a staff guardian!

Cormac, if I ever saw that I’d surely join your group

deSade.9437:

maha.7902:

deSade.9437:

“bearbow only”
“fashion elitists only”
“zergburgers only”

and… the one that started it all.

P.S. I’m getting owned by 2 banshees in ME q.q not ready for l33t hardmode yet. Why can I hit people with swords and bows but I suck with guns and rifles?

wow noob just spam biotic finishers on them screb

ive never actually played me3 below insanity so i have no idea what the other difficulty levels are like :p

WELL I’M NOT AN ADEPT kitten ME RIGHT
/cries holding alistair’s picture
But yeah, I killed them. I just had to be more mobile and stop standing around like an idiot. I don’t know why I tend to lose focus whenever I’m aiming… weird.

Vanguard or bust

mine would be P3 – Experimenting Engis Only

I usually advertise “LFG, we have cookies (WARNING cookies may be evil)”

or: “LFG – Arah, special extended blue ray edition with deleted scenes and director’s commentary”

I think my LFG ads have always been the most bizarre.

Just about any time I post an LFG it might have a kirby face in it somewhere or say something like “must love Ellie goulding or gtfo!” etc.

Not exactly the LFG messages themselves but:

Arah – “P1, first time” – A warrior joins and asks if anyone had done the path before. When we all said no, he quit.

TA – “Up, no skipping, linen” – A mesmer joins, drops a portal before the first volatile blooms, tried to run past the dogs and gets killed. Respawns. The rest of us start attacking the dogs, mesmer darts by us and wipes on the nightmare husks then says “run past pls.”

Aaaaand more on topic:

Fractals scale 1-10 – “At Maw, can jump 2 ft gap” – There was only one person in the party. The sad thing is I can actually almost empathize with what likely happened.

I have none, because I play necro and there is no reason for me to look at LFG.

‘’naked beach party’’

i thought that was rly funny

“LFxM to help build our Barbie playhouse on Px. We have absolutely NO cookies. Funny name required.”