Guild Wars 2

Here’s the outtakes

https://soundcloud.com/arenanet/guild-wars-2-voiceover

“Rally to me Ascalonians!!”

And any other line that has some soul in it.

“No no no No no no No no no No no no No no no No no no we should No no no No no no we should No no no No no no we should go to the armory No no no No no no we should go to the armory No no no No no no we should go to the armory No no no No no no we should go to the armory”

Raving Asura: “All of us! Abandoned! You aren’t real. You can’t be here!”

“It is the dragon who is afraaaaaaaaid!!” – Plant Kormir

Cub: “I’m Logan, and I’m gonna run away”

Here ghosty ghosty ghosty…

swimming swimming swimming all summer long
swimming swimming swimming it makes your flippers strong

“We in the vigil don’t know anything about your booboomatic wheeze calculator , but we know plenty about killing undead.”

-Warmaster Efut

“Your face is funny, it’s all squished and wierd.”

“No, your face is funny, it’s like a little raisin.”

That Gate Engineer and his assistant by the Grove’s Asura gate are the best.

“It’s a golem, it doesn’t have a mother! I don’t know how, but you weirded out my golem.”
“So are you the mother, or the father?”

“Ooo oooh! There’s something in the water!” -hylek when Tequatl is about to spawn.

“You. You’ve ruined everything.”
~ Tribune Burntclaw, CoF p3

“The time is now. Ignite the weapon! We shall make the unbelievers BURN!”
~ Forgemaster, CoF p1

“What should we do in the case of a golem uprising?”

“Impossible, the sedition inhibitor prevents any kind of insurgent behavior.”

“And if someone found a way to suppress the inhibitor?”

“Well, we DIE or bow down to our new golem overlords.”

I still think the line from Wark in the event line that gives you the Harpy Pheromone item is the best:

“Why would anyone want an item that gives you harpies?”

“I was messing around in my lab… I mean, conducting open-ended research”

Zojja

and the asura NPC you’re escorting in Caudecus’s Manor explorable
“KABOOM…. I mean, cover your ears”

During a Sylvari story quest:

…So, do you know Waine well?

Absolutely. Waine and I have been old friends since we were tiny, weak, pink fleshlings.

You mean since you were…children? Right.

“Stand back. Watch me push a button. Oooh, maybe I’ll flip a lever.”

Vorch.2985:

“No no no No no no No no no No no no No no no No no no we should No no no No no no we should No no no No no no we should go to the armory No no no No no no we should go to the armory No no no No no no we should go to the armory No no no No no no we should go to the armory”

alternatively

“Everybody get to the inn! We can protect you at the inn!”

Citizens!!!!!!!!!!!!

No no, im only kidding.

Tybalt: Burn me. I’m a human girl? Whoa, i’ve got two hands and some lovely….apples.

I like some of the asura background conversations. The one at the United Arcanist Lab’s in Sparkfly Fen about the liquidfication weapon reinforces my belief that the entire asura race is like Walter and Billy from Fringe.

Asura: “I want to thanks my krewe and college instructors.”
Human: “Melandru show me the way.”
Sylvari: “Death stalks me.”

I don’t have the whole conversation, but there’s one between two Ash Legion Soldiers as they talk about the Crush cubs. If anyone has that, post it.

Not quotes, but conversation I love:

Golems are attacking in Skrittsburgh:
Male Skritt: “OOWWW! …. That thing, ….. it poked me in the eye!”
Female Skritt: “Cover it with your hand and use the other eye.”

At guard post, something like:
Guard 1: “You remember that time we got drunk and fought those norn?”
Guard 2: “Yeah, the one turned into a bear and threw me into a wall. My organs hurt for a week.”
Guard 1: “Yeah I’m going to quit drinking”
Guard 2: “You always say that.”

A weapons vendor in Divinty’s Reach:

“I am literally KILLING my competition!”

Also, reposted from a previous thread:

Lemnear.6215:

There are so many good dialogues, but this one is my favourite. I had to listen twice since I couldn’t believe what I’ve heard.

Asura Gate Engineer and his Sylvari Assistant in the Grove.

Sylvari: Your golem is strange… was strange.
Asura: You drove it away, you know that!? I’ve never seen a golem run that fast.
Sylvari: I just wanted to ask it a few questions.
Asura: Yeah I know. you guys are full of them.
Sylvari: Oh, yes. What’s it like to be a golem? Does it dream? Does it have a family?
Asura: That was the last straw, you know. After that question about turtles in the desert you asked it about its mother.
Sylvari: So?
Asura: It doesn’t have a mother. It’s a golem. you crossed its circuits. I don’t know how you did it, but you weirded out MY golem.
Sylvari: So, you are the mother? Or the father?
Asura: What? Well, I… I guess I .. Oh no. you’re not getting in my head. You just stand there and help me monitor the gate.
Asura (to himself): Am I the mother? Blazing braces, this is what I get for working with the tree children.

Oh, I got to find the Asura Gate Engineer and assistant now from what I read.

When I made my first Asura I stumbled upon a quest line where you had to investigate if Skritt actually just fake their mental state by playing dumb. The answers you could pick to their responses where all hilarious. My forum sig line is from that quest.

Sorrow’s Embrace has some pretty funny lines, like the infamous “No, No, No we should go to the armory instead”. And the 3 little kids playing as Logan, Caithe etc.

Those are my favorites so far.

Rally to me, Ascalonians! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (or whatever words are used for a battlecry).

Said with fire and passion in his heart – a true warrior of old Ascalon.

I pretty much only play Asura females so far so I’ll add to that list (some repeats)

“You’re dumb, you’ll die and you’ll leave a dumb corpse”
“That’s my blood!”
“I’m still smarter than you” — on downed
“I don’t think well on the ground” — on upped
“How’s that feel? Excruciating?”
“‘I majored in pain, with a minor in suffering”
“I’m weakened? Preposterous!”
“Help me, I’m hurt!” — this plea sounds so genuine it’s scary

Ele:
“The waters rage!”
“Observe the power of fire”
“I command stone and soil”
“Let the storms rage!”

Necro:
“I can always make more”
“I didn’t think it would pop like that”
“Glad I didn’t name that one”

Unkemptwolf.6347:

Random NPC in Lions Arch: “By Ogden’s Hammer, what savings!”

I laughed so hard when I first heard that NPC say that. I then quit the game and watched Galaxy Quest again.

MikeRocks.9243:

I tend to enjoy anything the Skritt say, but I especially enjoyed Rikkiti’s questline:

“Deputy, Deputy!”
“Yes, what is it Rikkiti?”
“Sheriff want shinies back. Rikkiti get shinies! Teach Hyleks stealing bad.”
“And did our ineffectual sheriff offer any thoughts on how precisely we might accomplish that?”
“Yes… no… what?”
“(sigh) Sheriff say how we get shinies back?”
“Oooh! Deputy talk like Rikkiti stupid! Rikkiti not stupid!”
“….”
“Sheriff not say how we get shinies back!”

Or, later on in the quest:

“Rikkiti! Procure the purloined goods!”
“Get shinies?!”
“Yes, yes, get shinies.”
“Shi-hi-hinyyy!”
Followed by that crazy adorable Skritt laugh.

I friggin love Rikkiti. That “…” pause makes me laugh so hard every single time I hear it.
Skritt are just so awesome.

I like when you’re capturing skritt in a tunnel with the golem and one skritt asks if it can have a shiny piece on the golem, and the golem says that it is a required piece of equiment to retain functionality or something. Love it. Though the golem saying, come little skritt, I have candy…we can be friends…kind of weirded me out.

“I make a pretty good team!” -my Sylvari mesmer

“Jennnnaaaaahhhhh…are you serious?” -Logan in Caudecus’s Manor story

During the “Defend the Skritt Thieves While They Steal Harpy Eggs” DE in Harathi Hinterlands, one thief will say this.

“(Screech)ing harpies! Put that in your (screech) and (screech) it! (Screech) you!”

“Made by Zojja… genius.” – a fantastic line from Mr Sparkles; I love the the intonation.

Mine isn’t really a quote from a character but it can be seen when creating an Asura. Can’t remember the name of the Asura that has said it, but here it is – “Planning ahead is for ninnies who think they can predict every possible outcome.The future is mutable!Go with the flow!” Amazing quote!

Conversation in Lion’s Arch between two Asura:
Asura1: “What does a Sylvari think about?”
Asura2: “I’d say no matter what subject, they are astonished and contemplative, wondering and wild.”
Asura1: “I was going to make a bad salad joke but now I don’t feel like it.”

Champion Modniir Ulgoth: Tell me, hummingbirds, how does one fight the wind?

I think I misquoted, but whatevs. IMO the best voice actors are the guys that voiced Ulgoth and Captain Ashym.

One of my favorite lines is on entering the sewers, Warmaster Forgal say, “This place smells worse than a norn ale house on curry night.”

I thought that was funny as hell.

NO, NOW SHUT UP OR YOU’RE NEXT ON THE SPIT!

Melis.9687:

“I know people. DANGEROUS people!”

I am often one of these dangerous people, mmmm mmm I sure do loves me that honey!

YOU WILL NEVER CONQUER ASCALON, BARGWHAAAAHAAHHHHHHHAAA!

I laugh every time.

You heard Grast- You heard Grast- You- You- You heard Grast, hold the line!

I forget the NPC but I heard it in Timberline Falls… “How much grog could a quaggan quaff if a quaggan could quaff grog?”

“I was about to make a bad salad joke..but now I don’t feel like it " (heard on LA Trading place)

Professor Gorr during the personal story: “Vacuumagic Polarizers, prepare to suck!”

Also Galina Edgecrusher during the personal story: “I always wanted to punch a dragon in the mouth!”

Heard from a Charr Traveler chatting with some Sylvari in The Grove.

“Every day is war.
The wading through gore. The blood that stains your claws.
The sweat burning your eyes. The smell of bodies. The death.

Yeah. It’s fun."

Millionaires.4201:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Mx76Gwj56Y

No just NO! This vid (just 5 seconds of it) almost put me off wanting to play or even like the skritt race. Bad video, just BAD – you sir are a skritt hater!

Queensdale train has taught me to love this:

player approach with a Charr

Sylvari: “Look out sir! There is a Charr nearby!”
Asura: “Don’t worry, sprout. Charr may look tough, but its an act. All roar, no claws.”
Sylvari: “But they’re monsters! They’ll eat me, won’t they? Do they eat vegetables?”
Asura: “Meat, vegetables, fruit, catnip… but I don’t think they’d eat you. What, did you fall off the tree yesterday?”
Sylvari: “Certainly not, sir! I fell off the tree five days ago! I fell off a turnip cart yesterday.”