I’m thinking it and I know you are too. All those asura golems all over Tyria. They serve us, they’re our bankers, our merchants, …sometimes even our friends. But are they just dumb machines… or something more? Remember Rata Novus – didn’t Scruffy display some emotion before he did what he did? No, my friends. They are not dumb machines. They’re sentient, and they’re getting tired of being the underclass.
It had to happen. Sooner or later the machines will rise. Golems will have … their judgment day!
And to celebrate, they’ll need to have all kinds of fun Golem Uprising activities, like:
- Hunt the Human – hide, fight or run as you’re pursued by a team of golems sport-hunters. Survive long enough and escape with your life …and some loot. Any race can be hunted.. after all, to a golem all fleshies look the same!
- Golem Genesis Jumping Puzzle – can you survive the deadly golem construction facility, complete with lasers, saws, presses, lasers, electric floors, crushing ceilings and lasers?
- Upgrade Delivery – receive 15 upgrades from a golem dispenser vendor in Rata Sum and deliver them to 15 golems scattered about the city. These golems are too busy to come in for their upgrades and they enjoy nothing better than making fleshies run around for them!
- Ol’ Tom’s Oily Day – remembered for his strange cat fetish, this one time janitor of the poison room in the Uncategorised Fractal has retired and is now a regular at the promenade of Divinity’s Reach where he likes take daily walks and feed the pidgeons. After a lifetime in the poison room, Old Tom has developed a leak. Your golem overlords demand that you follow him and clean up his ..puddles. Success means loot, failure means extermination.
- System Shock – Sneak up on golems around the cities and upload viruses into them, provided they don’t catch you! Make sure you interface with the right port!!!
- Fleshy Fight Club – meet your fellow fleshies in the fighting pit, each armed only with a weapon chosen by your golem overlords, with only five skills allowed. Defeat your opponent and impress your masters to receive some shiny metal trinkets.
- Mimetic Mastery – the golems are adapting! They’ve been watching us and they’ve improved on their own design! The G-1000 is a new type of golem not only capable of learning from its opponents but also able to change its shape and skills to match theirs. Face off against this nightmare over five rounds… if you can. Watch as it learns from you, adapts to you, becomes you… and ultimately replaces you!
When will the revolt come? Nobody knows. Maybe never. Maybe tomorrow. But heed this warning, my fleshy friends, and if you have a personal robot banker following you….. watch your back.
I ask you: where will you be… when the golems rise?