Guild Wars 2

What are some examples of jokes, funny stories, and general humor that an inhabitant of Tyria would find dark, morbid, or offensive? Stuff that makes fun of “sensitive” subjects like racial separatists, disasters such as the Searing, the rise of the dragons, etc?

Aside from the entire repertoire of the Mad King?

- It’s like they say, Eir today, Garm tomorrow.

- Whats the difference between a Skritt and a Pizza?
The pizza doesn't scream when you bake it.

- I like jokes about Taimi, they never get old.

- How long does it take for Skritt to replace a lightbulb?
endlessly, they'll keep stealing it when it shines.

- Marjory’s Sister was so kind. She kept hanging around even after the fights.

- Jormag:
I'm nominating all these Koda for the Ice Bucket Challenge.

Hey, don’t look at me, you asked for them

Not very dark, but really funny:
Skritt Evaluation Project:
Day 1:
3 Skritt try to enter a museum. The curator says they’re not allowed in, and they leave.
Day 2:
8 Skritt try to enter museum; curator still says they’re not allowed in, so they leave.
Day 3:
14 Skritt try to enter museum; curator continues to dismiss them.
Day 4:
Research discontinued. No amount of skritt is going to learn they’re trying to get into a cupboard. Not that they’ll ever see the inside as long as one of them keeps thinking he’s a curator of said cupboard.

What’s green and sliced into two neat pieces?
Trahearne

What’s sad about the White mantle finding two people?
They killed my parents

-The commander walks into Marjory’s house
Commander: knock knock
Marjory: Who’s there?
Commander: Not Belinda

Halloween ended on 8th of November this year, because otherwise people would have elected the Mad King for president… Too soon?

After killing the last dragon with the help of Lazarus, the commander is invited over for dinner. Once there he sees on the kitchen table

You can’t just break up with an Ascalonian. You have to really sear it into his mind.

Kralkatorrik is just so possessive. He just has to Brand everything he considers his.

Zhaitan’s first public performance was a big hit. He really made a splash when he came out on the world stage.