Based on " ’Twas the Night Before Christmas" (Necro style)
’Twas the night before Wintersday, when all through the morgue
Not a creature was stirring, not even a warg;
The corpses were packed into the coffins with care,
In hopes that Ol’ Grenth soon would be here;
The minions were nestled all snug in their graves,
Dreaming visions of enemies impaled upon staves;
And mamma in her spikes, and I in my scales,
Had just settled down on our long bed of nails,
When out on the swamp there arose such a clatter,
I lumbered from bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew in a burst,
(just kidding, we’re necros; for speed we’re the worst,)
The moon on the spine of the sickly, dying trees
Was so lovely and pale it made me weak in the knees,
When, what to my slow-focusing eyes should emerge,
But a ghastly hearse, and eight Bone Fiends humming a dirge,
With a dire dark driver, the embodiment of death,
I knew in a moment it must be Ol’ Grenth.
More slowly than slugs his coursers they came,
And he whispered, and rasped, and called them by name;
“Now, Fetid! now, Foul! now, Rotten and Reeking!
On, Pox! on Pestilence! on, Putrid and Stinking!
To the top of the ruins! to the top of the wall!
Now scuttle away! scuttle away! scuttle away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the crypt-top the coursers they crawled,
Dragging the hearse upon which Ol’ Grenth sprawled.
Up on the roof, on spindly legs they came creeping
As eight pair of pincers searched for souls to be reaping.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Ol’ Grenth came with a bound.
He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
Carrying a sack of coal so large and so grand,
Judgement had come with my fate in his hand.
His eye sockets — how they glowed! With menace and dread!
His cheekbones so sharp, I thought, “Now I’m dead”!
From his bony jaw appeared a grin of delight,
My heart skipped a beat, I was so full of fright;
His chill stole away all my warmth like a thief,
Until presently I heard the chatter of my teeth;
He had a skeletal face and was thin as a rail,
But the terror he exuded caused me to quail.
He was gaunt yet imposing, a right ominous old deity,
And I trembled when I saw him, in spite of my fealty;
A wave of his hand and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Ripping away all my skills and traits with a jerk,
Then pointing his finger, all crooked and bent,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he went;
He drifted to his hearse, to his team gave a wail,
And away they all glid like a dark ship under sail.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove through the pall,
“NERF AWAY, NERF AWAY, NERF AWAY ALL!”
(edited by Kraag Deadsoul.2789)
