Guild Wars 2

Fellow Asura,

I come before you with a deep and sincere concern, a scholar’s concern and a concern that touches upon the very core of what it means to be one of our people.

This forum, which began as a way to express and discuss the love of our people and of all their many facets, has turned into a collection of “who is da cutest?” discussions.

I shall not stand for this and thus, I postulate a radical theory that will shake this forum to its very foundations. My theory is that our race is, through a process of bookah cultural shift, exchanging intellect for so called cuteness and thus becoming progressively more stupid in an attempt to win favour with the lesser races.

The “cuter” an asura is, the less intelligent they become and some of our intellectually lacking racial members are using the social acceptance of the cute state to infiltrate our academia and hierarchy, thereby spreading the “taint of cute” at terrible cost.

I urge you to stand up against this tide and to fight back, lest our race be denigrated to the status of the quaggan, a culture based around a complete reliance on other groups to survive and a popular line of backpack accessories.

Chrono – Luminary of Synergetics and member of the “Don’t pat me” League.

Regarding the subject of asuran cultural values and asuran intellect being compromised by bookah influence, I have to share your concerns. My ears are standing to no end, whenever I witness some mentally impaired member of our species running around, sporting pink, styled hair and frilly clothes.
Maybe our society has become too liberal. All those skritt-brained college rejects are trying to prostitute themselves by appealing to bookahs, rather than doing important work. You can say what you want about the Inquest, but at least, they keep their people in line.
Maybe the problem runs deeper. We don’t have to struggle to survive anymore. People are getting too soft. Even with impending doom from the dragons, half of tyria being torn by war and whole landscapes being razed periodically by Scarlet’s Minions, things in Rata Sum are awfully quiet.
Because the fight for survival plays no role in this world, travelling is conveniently done using the waypoint system and once you get to a certain point, it’s not even remotely challenging to take down a dragon or two, as this stagnant world doesn’t seem to chane quite fast enough, the only thing left for them to do is make themselves look better.
I have yet to find a way to kill them off for good, but whenever I encounter some “cute” asura in the mist wars, I will first demonstrate the superior capabilities of my intellect before crushing their worthless brain with a bronze dolyak statue.

Pathologist Noma, College of Statics

Ah yes, denial at its best… The only ones that could possibly see Asurans as “cute” is quite obviously Asurans, but since the Asurans with superior intellect cant possibly be cute, there must be something wrong with the cute Asurans, rather than the Asurans thinking other Asurans are too cute.

All other races think you’re all ugly hairless pompous rats.

Dawdler.8521:

All other races think you’re all ugly hairless pompous rats.

I expected nothing less from the lesser races.

I would posit that your hypothesis is very far from the truth. Asura, in their nature, are geniuses. A cute Asura is the product of smart breeding.

The only theory I would say is that the cuter the Asura, the younger the Asura. So therefore it is possible that cuter Asura are not as intelligent as not so cute Asura, because they lack the life experience that the older Asura do.

All Asura are actually cute, and I think we need to remember that when talking about intellect, size of head, and therefore ears, is actually what matters.

I have to note that the OP did not refer to Asura being cute, but about the trend for Asura to try to be as cute as possible. As you pointed out, Asura are cute by nature, but the tendency to show off with looks rather than intellect is highly alarming.

naphack.9346:

I have to note that the OP did not refer to Asura being cute, but about the trend for Asura to try to be as cute as possible. As you pointed out, Asura are cute by nature, but the tendency to show off with looks rather than intellect is highly alarming.

Out of character, I’d like to point out, that unless we actively RP out of game situations, our Asura actually don’t do anything that is all that intellectual or brilliant, because once we pass level 20 or so our exploits are equivalent to anything that a silly bookah can do. If our stories were actually Personal, this wouldn’t be the case.

Premise one: Intelligence is inversely related to cuteness.
Premise two: I’m uglier than you.

Conclusion: I’m smarter than you, which we already knew. The theory works!

Can’t stand seen all these cute asura… mine looks disgustingly ugly, yeah!

ahem My fellow geniuses!
I propose that Asura cuteness is allowed as long as it serves as a means to the ultimate end: Asuran World Domination™!

Thanks to cuteness, we are attractive. And thanks to that attractiveness the lesser races will want a cute Asura servant in every home, tree, iron hellhole and ice cave. I propose that as a race we will play happily along, being cute and attractive, pretending to be clever enough to help solve the daily problems, but not too clever that our “Masters” see us as a threat.

Then, when the time is right… Rata Sum will announce the New Asura World Order, and we will be in a position to simply take over Tyria! It will be a walk-over, because those cute Asura “servants” will be everywhere, knowing everything about their bookah “masters”!

I know there’s still some dragons to take care of, and though this will be a challenge for even our best geniuses, I am certain that our superior intelligence will find a way to beat even them. Then, we will put an end to the alcoholism of the Norn, the furries in their iron shelters, the desire for violets of the tree people, and the romances of the humans (a captain of the guard and a queen??)!

Techromancer Luxx – Gunnar’s Hold

Make no mistake the Asuras are the villains of the future.

Nornaea.6925:

…
I propose that Asura cuteness is allowed as long as it serves as a means to the ultimate end: Asuran World Domination™!
…
Techromancer Luxx – Gunnar’s Hold

Hush!! You certainly don’t want the bookahs to hear you and disrupt our ultimate objective through pure, unadulterated, fumbling ignorance do you?!

Myntal Ellie – Snaff Savant, College of Synergetics

As a chaos magic researcher and disciple off dynamics i think Chaos magic can be attributed to purple and pink and that those color should rather denote a specialisation branch within the rank of our scientist then an actual fashion choice. Chaos magic hold both dangerous power and tremendous potential wich despite its dangerous and volatile nature could be used for greater purpose and technological advancement. I as of one think a deep observation of the Pink and purple syndrome is a great way to study chaos magic and its impact on the mind of asurans and the lesser race alike maybe it even hold the key to the comprehension of the eternal alchemy. Chaos magic is the power of change and revolution and i see no harm in studying its effect.

Chaos Golemancer Tripxi – Snaff Savant, College of Dynamics

The Faerous Krewe – consisting of 8 members of varying professions and backgrounds – was established to study “cuteness” and, ultimately, the ability to manipulate bookahs by appealing to their standards rather than our own.

While all of our members may indeed be “cute”, other asura should note that it is in fact a carefully planned and elaborate ruse. There is much to be gained from such enamoured bookahs – free labour, materials, and general lack of belief that we could be doing anything “wrong”.

Cuteness is merely a tool to be used by those with superior intellect, namely us, the asura, against everyone else. It is completely irrelevant to and independent from reasoning. It’s value cannot be dependably quantified and verified between multiple observers. We should make it a standard operating procedure to twist this concept to our advantage against the uneducated masses without fail, but never fall victim to it.

It’s... it’s... it’s bloody bookah emotions is what it is. *scoff*

Not that blood can’t be cute. Lookit the cute widdle jagged horror. *toss kitty treat*

- Cryptician Zetti, Bureaumancer of Necrotic Efficiency, College of Statics

You’re all incompetent fools.

- Ninnko. Dropout of College of Dynamics.

We could use cuteness to our advantage. We may tax bookahs a lot harsher in the future.
Exhibit 1: petting tax, if a bookah wants to pet us we will tax the depending on the number of strokes, their harshness and other factors that may or may not be made-up by us;
Exhibit 2: we can set up tents with the promise that if, for a fee of course, anyone wants to get in and admire our asuran models dressed in cute clothing they can do so for a limited time as well, we wouldn’t want to keep everyone away from their experiments for long;
Exhibit 3: we can make a holiday that reveres us and paints us in an especially good light, that way we can sell a lot of merchandise to all of the races with enough currency to spare.
If these ideas are of any interest to you, my fellow colleagues, please do share your thoughts on how to make us richer of of the lesser minds .