Guild Wars 2

laughs heartily

Bwah Har Har Haar! Look at all you Asura!

You’re so TINY… it’s hilarious! I have to joke about your tiny SIZE.

You Asura, are so tiny it’s no wonder Arena Net never made Asura Children!
When they went to import the file, they got the error “File Not Found”!

Bwah Har Har Har!

No wonder you have to say “For the record, you’ve been struck!” cause otherwise, we’d never know!

An Asura Warrior came to me and held up his weapon and told me “This is MY Greatsword!”.
Now we know where Logan’s butter knives have been going!

Bwah Har Har Har!

When you have to complete a Daily Jumping Puzzle, all you do is climb a flight of stairs!
Lucky!!!

In World Versus World, I lost an Asura ally to an archer’s arrow!
Curious why in the obituary it says “Killed by Ballista”.

ONE PIECE
ONE PIECE
You wear a ONE PIECE!
Bwah Ha Ha Ha Ha HAAAA
King of the Pirates….

One time an Asura fell out of their chair.
They had to call LIFE ALERT!

I swear, during Crab Toss the Norn’s kept thinking you guys were the ball!

And why do you guys have such big ears and live underground?!
So we have something to grab hold of when we yank you up like a turnip!

Bwah ha Ha ha HAAA…

I am done for now.
But will be back..

Oh, look. Kitten thinks he’s funny.

Let me see if I got this right?

Did you hear about the Iron Legion Engineer who was looking for a better energy source? He bolted a piece of buttered toast to the back of his warbandmate and threw him off the side of the Black Citadel. The results were quite effective.

Kitty’s whiskers would make decent floss, if one ignores that mouth they were recently attached to.

It amazes me how much Charr yell. With four ears, they shouldn’t have to be so loud.

The horns mystify me. They must be for butting their heads against brick walls, because they keep reaching so many dead ends.

I keep wondering why I can’t skin the Charr I beat in WvW. Not a big loss, as most of their pelts aren’t worth a lot.

Take your pick, I’ve got more.

Drakkon.4782:

Oh, look. Kitten thinks he’s funny.

Let me see if I got this right?

Did you hear about the Iron Legion Engineer who was looking for a better energy source? He bolted a piece of buttered toast to the back of his warbandmate and threw him off the side of the Black Citadel. The results were quite effective.

Kitty’s whiskers would make decent floss, if one ignores that mouth they were recently attached to.

It amazes me how much Charr yell. With four ears, they shouldn’t have to be so loud.

The horns mystify me. They must be for butting their heads against brick walls, because they keep reaching so many dead ends.

I keep wondering why I can’t skin the Charr I beat in WvW. Not a big loss, as most of their pelts aren’t worth a lot.

Take your pick, I’ve got more.

Bwar Har Har! Stick with your Eternal Alchemy… it’s Eternal so you guys can give yourself enough time to actually make it sound like it wasn’t a complete pile of crap, like your DENTAL PLAN!

Har Har Harrr!!!

And how about your accomplishment of enslaving the dredge.
Good job there, proving once again how “strong” your race is by beating the disabled moles of Tyria.
Were the Quaggan too scary for ya? I’m guessing “Quaggon Go Boo” was too much for ya.

You Asura have always been the weakest link. Look at Destiny’s Edge! A group of fine warriors! Dragon fighters, and all around decent folk…

Except the Asura, who died! And apprentice, is a BAD GUY!
Nice going there.

Braahhh har har harrr!

The only thing you guys got going for you is a Bad Salad Joke!

At least we don’t laugh at our own jokes.

Honestly, this last round of jokes was not only bad, they were lacking in any fact-checking. You seriously need to up your game. You’re beginning to bore. Rhymes with snore, which I’ll be doing if you can’t stop putting me to sleep. Seems about all you’re good for.

Stupid bookah.

So, how much did you have to pay someone to write this material for you, OP?

“You Asura, are so tiny it’s no wonder Arena Net never made Asura Children!”

Aguri.2896:

“You Asura, are so tiny it’s no wonder Arena Net never made Asura Children!”

Was thinking the exact same thing.

Oh look someone dident feed the little kitty cat… now go make your buisness in the sandbox! Stupid cat..

I think the bookah was just embarrassed because our progeny are smarter than anything in their race…also enslavin the dredge? Sorry that was the dwarves not us…if you are referring to sorrows embrace that is the vile inquest which is akin to comparing every charr to those bloody fire legion(that’s what their called right? They all seem the same)

dunnberry.2964:

I think the bookah was just embarrassed because our progeny are smarter than anything in their race…also enslavin the dredge? Sorry that was the dwarves not us…if you are referring to sorrows embrace that is the vile inquest which is akin to comparing every charr to those bloody fire legion(that’s what their called right? They all seem the same)

What’s wrong with that?
Charr is Charr. All of them are primitive savages.
And they are annoyingly noisy…

naphack.9346:

dunnberry.2964:

if you are referring to sorrows embrace that is the vile inquest which is akin to comparing every charr to those bloody fire legion(that’s what their called right? They all seem the same)

What’s wrong with that?
Charr is Charr. All of them are primitive savages.
And they are annoyingly noisy…

Flame Legion is the correct term, and no, Charr is not Charr. While our current specimen is a fascinating example of the the more brutish and less interesting variant among their kind, I have encountered Charr who are smart enough to assist my krewe with our research, and even actively participate in new avenues of experimentation. He is rather pleasant. And not terribly loud. Plus, I do like the way he has no problem being a meat shield. Something about Iron doesn’t bleed. They’re so cute when they’re being prideful.

Your krew obviously needs some intellectual upgrades if the charr in question is doing anything BESIDES being a meat shield or being experimented on

I think we’re insulting the OP too much. Instead, we should congratulate him on being one of the few charr who can read.

A Charr using a forum?

. . . whats next . . .

Will find the use of toilet paper? . . . Bwah ha Ha ha HAAA…

Mindless kitty bookah… At least we don’t run on all fours! Hey, that gives me an idea… Charr mounts for all Asura! It’s all you big dumb cats are good for anyway….

Well I’ll be dipped. Asura do have children! Though I have to feel sorry for the parents of, those… things.
Like the song goes…
kitten that’s an ugly kitten baby!

And you ever notice how many times I hear the Asura say "I feel six feet tall!’
Sorry to break it to you half fries, but not even a Mesmer can help you with THAT illusion.

Nor can they make you play belcher’s bluff normal!
I understand the concept of a handicap but if the biggest cup you can hold is a teacup it’s a little unfair for the rest of us since all you can do is sip!

But you guys are right. You’re “so” smart that you but those brains of yours to good use.
The Norn are working hard to defeat Jormag and claim their homes.
The Humans are fighting for survival.
The Sylvari are working to understand the world.
And the Asura… are attempting to boost the intelligence of Skritt!
I mean outstanding work there. I guess after building that army of golems with a 50% chance of going rampant and attacking your own people, you guys must have decided to go for something more challenging… cept the point of a challenge is it’s “doable”.

dunnberry.2964:

Your krew obviously needs some intellectual upgrades if the charr in question is doing anything BESIDES being a meat shield or being experimented on

The brains only need to reside in one person: me. My krewe does quite well on their own, thank you. And at least we can spell “krewe”. I find it hard to believe that you would ever be considered for Snaff Savant with such lax academic standards. One might be forgiven for thinking that you and the obnoxious Charr who thinks he’s clever enough to provoke us are working on cahoots. You’re not working with said Charr, are you? I would hate to find out that you’re chastising my krewe for having a Charr on it while working with one of your own…

Grimno.6172:

But you guys are right. You’re “so” smart that you but those brains of yours to good use.
The Norn are working hard to defeat Jormag and claim their homes.
The Humans are fighting for survival.
The Sylvari are working to understand the world.
And the Asura… are attempting to boost the intelligence of Skritt!
I mean outstanding work there. I guess after building that army of golems with a 50% chance of going rampant and attacking your own people, you guys must have decided to go for something more challenging… cept the point of a challenge is it’s “doable”.

Nonsense! Boosting the intelligence of skritt is not our primary goal! Our main focus is world domi- I mean stopping the elder dragons.

Also, we have many useful inventions that help bring the great races of Tyria together! Without our gates many great things would not be possible. Meanwhile… you charr are having a hard time “killing” some ghosts.

Aguri.2896:

Meanwhile… you charr are having a hard time “killing” some ghosts.

Because why kill someone once when you can kill them twice!

Drats that [Krew] guild on my server has foiled my basic knowledge of our spelling I admit my faults…though no I would never be caught sea working with one of those oversized puffballs, a group of skritt have more use than them if nothing else but collecting their shinies

Grimno.6172:

Aguri.2896:

Meanwhile… you charr are having a hard time “killing” some ghosts.

Because why kill someone once when you can kill them twice!

Or to say it another way: try killing them again, because you’ve failed consistently for the past hundred years.

Asura Technology: Highly advanced cubic tech that radiates alchemical power, can permanently float, can teleport, can program advanced A.I.

Charr Technology: A heap of crude metal scraps tossed together like so much scattered kitty litter.

I finally get it, the Charr isn’t getting our insults, that’s the problem
Let me translate to Charr for you:
Stoopid kitty, go play with ball
Idiot kitty, your logic smells like fresh dog kitten
ow he’ll get it

Entropy.4732:

Asura Technology: Highly advanced cubic tech that radiates alchemical power, can permanently float, can teleport, can program advanced A.I.

Charr Technology: A heap of crude metal scraps tossed together like so much scattered kitty litter.

You have to give the Charr credit on how they utilize their limited scientific knowledge, though. Every part, as miniscule as it may be, serves the very same purpose: To kill.
Such dedication and pragmatism definitely deserves praise, as not even the inquest could devise such efficient killing machines.

This, however shows again the savagery of this beastly race. Their only drive is to kill. They are not quite as single minded as destroyers, but that doesn’t make it better.
You’d think, a race, capable of rational thought should be more civilized, but in the end, they are still primitive savages.

Drakkon.4782:

They’re so cute when they’re being prideful.

Grimno.6172:

But you guys are right. You’re “so” smart that you but those brains of yours to good use.

Yes! We’ve got an Asura who finds the boastful pride and aggressive nature of the Charr useful to the extent of cuteness and a Charr who acknowledges the amazing intellect of an Asura.

The next step is an easy one! Soon we’ll have some Charr declaring their admiration for their Asura lover on the battle field or inviting their Charr assistant to their lab for late night cuddles after a long day’s work with their krewe.

I’ll be emailing you the .pdfs with the diagrams on specific pegs and slots configurations so you’re fully prepared…it’s not as complicated as you think.

And no need to thank me. I’m just Leo, making Tyria ickier one post at a time

Leo G.4501:

Drakkon.4782:

They’re so cute when they’re being prideful.

Grimno.6172:

But you guys are right. You’re “so” smart that you but those brains of yours to good use.

Yes! We’ve got an Asura who finds the boastful pride and aggressive nature of the Charr useful to the extent of cuteness and a Charr who acknowledges the amazing intellect of an Asura.

The next step is an easy one! Soon we’ll have some Charr declaring their admiration for their Asura lover on the battle field or inviting their Charr assistant to their lab for late night cuddles after a long day’s work with their krewe.

I’ll be emailing you the .pdfs with the diagrams on specific pegs and slots configurations so you’re fully prepared…it’s not as complicated as you think.

And no need to thank me. I’m just Leo, making Tyria ickier one post at a time

Are you implying we capture Asurans, use our tongues to lube up their squirming bodies, and then proceed to make them living wiggling Butt Plugs for the Charr?
You have a sick mind! A sick sick write this down MIND!

Leo G.4501:

The next step is an easy one! Soon we’ll have some Charr declaring their admiration for their Asura lover on the battle field or inviting their Charr assistant to their lab for late night cuddles after a long day’s work with their krewe.
I’ll be emailing you the .pdfs with the diagrams on specific pegs and slots configurations so you’re fully prepared…it’s not as complicated as you think.
And no need to thank me. I’m just Leo, making Tyria ickier one post at a time

No need. I know a Human who paints artwork that is quite instructive. You know the old saying, “If it exists, the Human imagination will do something perverse with it.” It’s the 34th Rule. Besides, I can find anything on the Data Matrix.

Grimno.6172:

Leo G.4501:

Drakkon.4782:

They’re so cute when they’re being prideful.

Grimno.6172:

But you guys are right. You’re “so” smart that you but those brains of yours to good use.

Yes! We’ve got an Asura who finds the boastful pride and aggressive nature of the Charr useful to the extent of cuteness and a Charr who acknowledges the amazing intellect of an Asura.

The next step is an easy one! Soon we’ll have some Charr declaring their admiration for their Asura lover on the battle field or inviting their Charr assistant to their lab for late night cuddles after a long day’s work with their krewe.

I’ll be emailing you the .pdfs with the diagrams on specific pegs and slots configurations so you’re fully prepared…it’s not as complicated as you think.

And no need to thank me. I’m just Leo, making Tyria ickier one post at a time

Are you implying we capture Asurans, use our tongues to lube up their squirming bodies, and then proceed to make them living wiggling Butt Plugs for the Charr?
You have a sick mind! A sick sick write this down MIND!

This post will almost certainly get infracted, but I laughed so hard at this. XD Well done, sir or madam. Well done indeed!

Zaxares.5419:

Grimno.6172:

Leo G.4501:

Drakkon.4782:

They’re so cute when they’re being prideful.

Grimno.6172:

But you guys are right. You’re “so” smart that you but those brains of yours to good use.

Yes! We’ve got an Asura who finds the boastful pride and aggressive nature of the Charr useful to the extent of cuteness and a Charr who acknowledges the amazing intellect of an Asura.

The next step is an easy one! Soon we’ll have some Charr declaring their admiration for their Asura lover on the battle field or inviting their Charr assistant to their lab for late night cuddles after a long day’s work with their krewe.

I’ll be emailing you the .pdfs with the diagrams on specific pegs and slots configurations so you’re fully prepared…it’s not as complicated as you think.

And no need to thank me. I’m just Leo, making Tyria ickier one post at a time

Are you implying we capture Asurans, use our tongues to lube up their squirming bodies, and then proceed to make them living wiggling Butt Plugs for the Charr?
You have a sick mind! A sick sick write this down MIND!

This post will almost certainly get infracted, but I laughed so hard at this. XD Well done, sir or madam. Well done indeed!

It would also imply Charr have massive butts. That’s akin to shoving a small midget up a human butt which is ‘mostly’ impossible and I don’t know how experimental the Asura get with their research into body elasticity…although my Asura buddy once researched and patented a design for new versions of body armor with the elasticity and springiness of Norn breasts as the basis of the design direction for the repulsor matrix.

Needless to say, much research in Norn chest anatomy was necessary and he thinks some in his krewe may have enjoyed it more than usual.

It’s so hard to understand language of lower races.

Naustis.8510:

It’s so hard to understand language of lower races.

Hello kettle, it’s the pot calling. You’re black.

All will serve the asura, in due time. When that time comes, we’ll see who laughs last.

The OP. He laughs at anything, including his own jokes, which is a shame, because they aren’t funny.

Dear Anet,

New idea — An Asura and a Char in the bar instance telling ‘Yo Mama’ jokes.

See above to find the lead writers.

Thanks!

You realize that we have saved your live countless times, right? Because if you’re dead, you just teleport to a nearby Asuran waypoint. If we would turn our waypoints off, you just STAY dead.

Drakkon.4782:

Did you hear about the Iron Legion Engineer who was looking for a better energy source? He bolted a piece of buttered toast to the back of his warbandmate and threw him off the side of the Black Citadel. The results were quite effective.

…when the reactor blew…

Grimno.6172:

Naustis.8510:

It’s so hard to understand language of lower races.

Hello kettle, it’s the pot calling. You’re black.

You know why charr likes big boomsticks like the Charzooka? Because it’s compensation for something else being more tiny and my Asuran little finger..

/thread

I’d add my own response to the pile but you’ve already gone and kicked the hornet’s nest.

My action is no longer necessary. Prepare for obliteration.

Weir.5691:

All will serve the asura, in due time. When that time comes, we’ll see who laughs last.

How’s the war to retake your underground home going?

Grimno.6172:

Weir.5691:

All will serve the asura, in due time. When that time comes, we’ll see who laughs last.

How’s the war to retake your underground home going?

We do not fight wars, we let the lower races fight it for us. And they are slow as molasses

Windu The Forbidden One.6045:

Grimno.6172:

Weir.5691:

All will serve the asura, in due time. When that time comes, we’ll see who laughs last.

How’s the war to retake your underground home going?

We do not fight wars, we let the lower races fight it for us. And they are slow as molasses

Indeed. Perhaps some sort of quickening draught to increase alacrity. I really doubt that they are competent enough to actually PILOT a golem, even if we were so inclined to make one large enough for them to get in. What a large and unwieldy thing that would be. I think it would be so slow as to actually induce drag on their already lackluster sloth.

Drakkon.4782:

Indeed. Perhaps some sort of quickening draught to increase alacrity. I really doubt that they are competent enough to actually PILOT a golem, even if we were so inclined to make one large enough for them to get in. What a large and unwieldy thing that would be. I think it would be so slow as to actually induce drag on their already lackluster sloth.

Nonsense! There is no problem that cannot be solved by throwing an even BIGGER Golem at it. One day I’ll get funding for my VOLT-R0N project to unite all golems across Tyria into one super-golem. It’ll be unstoppable! Unstoppable, I tell you!

Zaxares.5419:

Drakkon.4782:

Indeed. Perhaps some sort of quickening draught to increase alacrity. I really doubt that they are competent enough to actually PILOT a golem, even if we were so inclined to make one large enough for them to get in. What a large and unwieldy thing that would be. I think it would be so slow as to actually induce drag on their already lackluster sloth.

Nonsense! There is no problem that cannot be solved by throwing an even BIGGER Golem at it. One day I’ll get funding for my VOLT-R0N project to unite all golems across Tyria into one super-golem. It’ll be unstoppable! Unstoppable, I tell you!

Yes, and you’ll start a festival at Rata Sum to celebrate our ingenuity; at which point a quaggan called Eavil McVillen will pop up and turn them into his servants in a dastardly mission to turn all Asura into plushie backpacks, because he feels like it.

Get three Asura together and you’ll get four opinions.

All of you are bookah if you think bigger means better. I’m on a search for indestructible material that can withstand extreme temperatures, extreme pressure, and extreme kinetic damage which by all means, make all your G.O.L.E.M.s obsolete. By expanding on Snaff’s design that almost defeated an elder dragon, I can form an G.O.L.E.M. that is made up specially designed pellets that can be broken down and reform into any shape.

These pellets will be carried by an inter-dimensional cube, which requires an combinations to access. I will call my G.O.L.E.M., Servant 2.0., created to keep the Elder’s Dragons minions at bay or to complete sterile an island or continent. Another design feature for Servant, it can be used to create many other things, such as impenetrable walls, solid bridges, and other helpful features to make sure the user survives. Servant is only limited by the power usage, meaning it can defend any area for eternity until it runs out of energy or I switch it off.

As for the Charr… Meow? Meow? Is that your language? You’re language is too, primitive for me to understand. So why don’t you go crawl back into your cave and maybe, just maybe you will actually evolve into an more civilized being. Leave the big boy missions to us grown up civilizations and we will make sure to feed you every once and a while.

[ANetMakeThisHappen]

Drakkon.4782:

Zaxares.5419:

Drakkon.4782:

Indeed. Perhaps some sort of quickening draught to increase alacrity. I really doubt that they are competent enough to actually PILOT a golem, even if we were so inclined to make one large enough for them to get in. What a large and unwieldy thing that would be. I think it would be so slow as to actually induce drag on their already lackluster sloth.

Nonsense! There is no problem that cannot be solved by throwing an even BIGGER Golem at it. One day I’ll get funding for my VOLT-R0N project to unite all golems across Tyria into one super-golem. It’ll be unstoppable! Unstoppable, I tell you!

Yes, and you’ll start a festival at Rata Sum to celebrate our ingenuity; at which point a quaggan called Eavil McVillen will pop up and turn them into his servants in a dastardly mission to turn all Asura into plushie backpacks, because he feels like it.

[/ANetMakeThisHappen]

Grimno.6172:

Weir.5691:

All will serve the asura, in due time. When that time comes, we’ll see who laughs last.

How’s the war to retake your underground home going?

How’s that war against those predictable ghosts going? Oh, you’ve taken two hundred and six casualties today alone? What a shame. If only you were more competent and could handle an enemy that does the same thing over and over again. Perhaps the Lionguard could teach your soldiers how to do their jobs? For a small fee, of course.

How’s the Flame Legion war going? I heard you got a human to kill their god for you, since you couldn’t do it yourself? Oooh, three hundred and eight deaths in the last ten hours when they pulled an unusual tactic and got through your lines? The same one that is taught to Arcane Eye initiates that are newly recruited? Mm, I’m sorry to hear that. I’d be happy to teach you about the beauty of flanking and distractions for a handful of gold!

How’s your war against the brand going? Oh, you haven’t made a single inch of progress in a month and have lost a thousand soldiers to hold what little ground you have? How tragic. Well, I can’t really help you there, and the Pact is a bit busy being productive and whatnot in the Far North and securing Orr. Sorry.

My mistake, I can help you there. I’m just choosing not to. You’ll have to learn to take care of yourself one day, and if I help, I’m prolonging a vicious cycle. I have to let third-world nations like yours grow on your own.

By the way, I’ll be sending you a box of water purification tablets free of charge. You need them.

Leo G.4501:

Yes! We’ve got an Asura who finds the boastful pride and aggressive nature of the Charr useful to the extent of cuteness and a Charr who acknowledges the amazing intellect of an Asura.

The next step is an easy one! Soon we’ll have some Charr declaring their admiration for their Asura lover on the battle field or inviting their Charr assistant to their lab for late night cuddles after a long day’s work with their krewe.

I’ll be emailing you the .pdfs with the diagrams on specific pegs and slots configurations so you’re fully prepared…it’s not as complicated as you think.

And no need to thank me. I’m just Leo, making Tyria ickier one post at a time

Hmmm. I have only one word to utter at this point in time:
Rox.

Advent.6193:

Leo G.4501:

Yes! We’ve got an Asura who finds the boastful pride and aggressive nature of the Charr useful to the extent of cuteness and a Charr who acknowledges the amazing intellect of an Asura.

The next step is an easy one! Soon we’ll have some Charr declaring their admiration for their Asura lover on the battle field or inviting their Charr assistant to their lab for late night cuddles after a long day’s work with their krewe.

I’ll be emailing you the .pdfs with the diagrams on specific pegs and slots configurations so you’re fully prepared…it’s not as complicated as you think.

And no need to thank me. I’m just Leo, making Tyria ickier one post at a time

Hmmm. I have only one word to utter at this point in time:
Rox.

Too late. She already has her unusually large eyes on Braham.

asuran = master race. Nuff said