Guild Wars 2

Preface

It is well known to all the colleges that Skritt exhibit enhanced intellect the greater the population in proximity to one another. The magnitude of the said population is frequently an area for study; but this is not the only variable in the equation.

Common consensus is the skritt communicate rapidly and ultrasoniclly with high pitched chirps or similar sounds. Sounds can only travel through a medium at a predictable speed dependent on density, this indicates that both the distance between two skritt, as well as their population magnitude are a factor in the equation.

Given the sound must travel and then be replied to the equation is likely something to the form of:

Speed of process = 2rK + k / p

Where K is the bulk modulus, k is the constant of skritt processing, ie. the time it takes for the rodent to form a response (Preliminary research indicates this could be anything between instantaneous, or several weeks according to some studies), r is the average displacement between the skritt, and p is the magnitude of the population.

Most studies until now have focused on increasing the population, and k obviously is constant. However, if my theory is correct, then reducing the distance between skritt will also increase rate of processing.

Proposal

My proposition is to form a krewe to study the possibility of training large numbers of skritt, and then compressing them into extremely small volumes (<1cm – a large vice may be required), reducing the displacement between them to microscopic scales. These trained skritt can then be asked to perform calculations and operations far faster than any extant technology.

Early prototypes will aim for distances in the millimetre range but more powerful compression techniques and larger numbers of skritt could yield distances in the nanometre scale.

This new technology (Henceforth referred to as “microskritts”) could revolutionise a number of industries – replacing current generation aetheric valves with a far more compact, lighter and cheaper alternative that also turns skritt into a resource besides fertiliser.

The Incredible Zizi, Future Grand High Sovereign of Tyria
Professor of fractal metaphysics, College of Synergetics.

Zizi, I understand where you are going with these microskritts, but I have to ask how you will ensure that the skritt will listen to your instructions, especially after being reduced in size (through such a brute-force method, too!)

Asura technology has advanced to the point where size manipulation is easy. You could grab a shrink-ray and miniaturize the skritt, but, again, getting the skritt to listen to you will be difficult.

Incentives in the form of semi-precious baubles (“shinies” in their native tongue) may help; if the skritt have been compressed to such a small scale then presumably even a very small sample of iridescent material would appear a monumentally sized incentive.

Furthermore if that holds true, then greater compression yields greater efficiency in terms of the amount of materials needed.

Shrink rays may not have the desired effect given they necessarily reduce the scalar values associated with the matter (If they did not, how would a miniaturized individual metabolise non-miniaturized atmospheric gases?), so while the physical displacement between skritt is reduced, so is the scalar value of the displacement by an equal value.

Zizi,

Your formula looks like something scribbled in the corner of a Dynamics’ workbook; it barely holds up to inaugural audit. Surely I educated you more prominently than this!

The individual processing celerity k is clearly not a contant but a variable, as you yourself fortified with the sentence “could be anything between instantaneous or several weeks”. Furthermore, dividing with the population number decreases the total processing celerity, which is inconsistent with existing data that clearly shows total processing celerity increasing with a bulkier amassment of skritt.

Have you already forgotten my first lesson? “If something is worth doing once, it was not worth doing once if it cannot be replicated when done twice.”

Tetrapyloctomist Jigain, Sr Instructor, College of Synergetics

PS. Theory interesting. May have uses when formula works. Well done.

Sr Instructor Jigain

Esteemed Colleagues:

First, let me congratulate Zizi on what appears to be a mostly well-thought-out and ambitious proposal. It is true that little thought has yet been given to the exponential intelligence exhibited by Skritt, and I wish you luck in your efforts.

However, being Asura, we can do better. At this very moment, my krewe within the College of Dynamics is working on a device which will safely allow objects to occupy the same space via hyper-vibration of matter. I shouldn’t have to point it out that such technology could be used to practically and literally eliminate the space between Skritt and, in general, allow for greater population magnitudes, greatly increasing Skritt processing capabilities.

As you can see, our projects would both greatly benefit from a collaboration. Am I correct in assuming your krewe would be composed of Asura from all three colleges, and not just Synergetics?

Head Acquisitor Garzakk, College of Dynamics, Department of Furtumology

I. Freaking. Love this.

Carry on.

Space is no issue; we have the entire unused polymock arenas at our disposal, which can be repurposed into skritt pens…