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Posted by: InfernoHero.5687

InfernoHero.5687

I’m in an RP guild, and I really want to be an Asura that is just as or more intelligent than the rest of his race, but strays from the pack in ethics.

So far, I have mapped out his story this far:

He had problems with his Krew due to the fact that he would always “Help” with everyone’s projects without asking. He would sometimes even catch a project before it was even put through the design processes.

Due to the fallout, he left Rata Sum altogether. He was fed up with no one appreciating his miss-guided altruism.

Due to a series of encounters with above-average humans, he moved into Divinity’s Reach.

With no where to live, he assisted an inn keeper by building “Butler” golems to take orders and assign rooms. The golems were small and compact, but could carry a person’s bags to their room.

While living in one of the inn’s rooms for free, he converted it into a basic laboratory and workshop.

One night, while attempting to actually get some sleep (A rare happening,) he saw a man fall to his death from his room’s window.

Taking the role of Private Investigator (Due to his own interest in the man) he found that the police force of Divinity’s Reach was not only less than acceptable, but outrageously corrupt. So, of course, they had ruled the man’s case as a suicide.

He made a deal with an up and coming reporter that came into the inn for a night’s drink. The reporter would publish any story that was given to him in exchange for every detail on the corruption of the police and the rights to publish any story on the secret investigation once it was finished.

Late one night, while the Asura dwindled on anything that he might have missed that night through the window, he was attacked. An intruder slammed into his little workshop and attempted to not only foil his plans of further investigating the case, but also any attempt he had at having a comfortable life with all of his limbs intact.

Due to the murder attempt, the Asura had to think quickly. He had a choice. Live with his current powers of Elemental magic, or recreate a machine he had invented to genetically enhance his body. It would restore him. It would make him stronger than he had ever been. However, it had… side effects. Any amount of magical ability he had was at risk the second he stepped into the tube. It could change magic, or it could rip it all away and leave him with nothing.

He looked to his arms and legs. He looked to the large gash on his lower abdomen. He had no choice. In order to bring justice to his new home, he would possibly give up everything.

The procedure took a full day. A full day of him being sedated while the only one he could trust, the inn keeper, watched over his tube as his skin stretched and his body rebuilt itself as new.

Stepping out, he looked at his reflection in his workshop table. He had done it. He had given up everything for this city. Why? Why did he care so much? His magic was gone. His body was not the one he was born with. He had gained strength in exchange for any magical research that he could ever attempt again. This was it.

With tears in his eyes, he began to trash his own workshop. Acting the most illogical any Asura had ever before, he closed his eyes and just succomed to madness for what little amount of time he could allow himself. His new found strength allowed him to break tables in his fingers. Through anger and rage that seemed to go on forever in his mind, he sensed something inside. He opened his eyes. Blue flames surrounded his destroyed room. Magical energy surged through his as his new powers awoke from within. With his own body, he had created a scientific miracle. He had invented Magical transmutation. His control of the elements was gone forever, but this new and raw energy at his fingertips was far stronger than anything he could wield before.

With this new-found power, and his genetically enhanced strength, he would take revenge for his city. He would protect his new home. He would be:

The Detective.

(edited by InfernoHero.5687)

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Posted by: Dustfinger.9510

Dustfinger.9510

Has potential. Just be careful about the super intelligence coupled with super strength. Right now he seems like Batman and Superman combined. Without some weakness in his seemingly impregnable armor, he will get very uninteresting.

To avoid munchkin-ism, I would tone down some areas in his life. Right now everything is over the top.

-Smartest in his krewe
-encounters with above average humans
-singlehandedly fighting corruption
-created a machine to genetically enhance himself
-created a scientific miracle
-break tables in his fingers

right now you’ve written him as a super hero. that’s fine in his own universe where he can be the star of every story. But in an RP guild where you will be RPing with others who won’t want to play Robin to your Batman, it may be a problem. Every RPer has their own star for their story but those stories intertwine so the stars have to be someone compatible and comparable. e.g.: Superman is only interesting because he interacts with super heroes and super villains. So it helps even him out. Hope that helps

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Posted by: InfernoHero.5687

InfernoHero.5687

Thanks for the input!

Maybe I should put a weakness in through his augmentations? Maybe he can only control that level of strength for a short period of time before he has to once again rely on his quick thinking.

Or, maybe he has to choose between the two sides of himself for each situation. Maybe, once he takes his strength up, his brain power lowers due to the increased need for blood flow.

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Posted by: Dustfinger.9510

Dustfinger.9510

Ah, both are good ideas. The first one is like Ben 10 with a time limit. The second is like hulk and bruce banner. Both seem to have worked for their characters. I like the first one but it’s not my character

edit: an idea you can take or leave with that second idea: Each side of him is confident that that is all he needs. So in his intelligent state he loathes admitting that his intelligence isn’t enough for the situation. In his strong phase he thinks strength can solve everything. so may stay in each phase to the detriment of a lot of situations. This way he actually is smart and overconfident and dumb and… too dumb to admit he needs a smart solution. That would be both interesting and provide a kryptonite for him while avoiding just switching back and forth at the perfect time. otherwise it would seem like he is still super intelligent at all times and he just chooses when he needs strength.

(edited by Dustfinger.9510)

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Posted by: InfernoHero.5687

InfernoHero.5687

If I go with the second option, how much would need to be taken away? He’s still an Asura. I don’t want him to lose all logic and be a raging hulk of his former self. Maybe turn him into a slightly above average Norn in that situation?

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Posted by: Dustfinger.9510

Dustfinger.9510

If he is an above average norn, would that actually be a weakness? keep in mind what your goal is

edit: and try not to establish a double standard in an effort to keep him over the top. So he is an asura so he should be smart no matter what but he was genetically altered so he can still be stronger than any asura has a right to be :P if he is genetically altered, let him be genetically altered. So he doesn’t need to be a raging green hulk but he doesn’t need to be winning any spelling B’s either. Maybe the low intelligence of a common thug or something along those lines.

(edited by Dustfinger.9510)

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Posted by: InfernoHero.5687

InfernoHero.5687

edit: an idea you can take or leave with that second idea: Each side of him is confident that that is all he needs. So in his intelligent state he loathes admitting that his intelligence isn’t enough for the situation. In his strong phase he thinks strength can solve everything. so may stay in each phase to the detriment of a lot of situations. This way he actually is smart and overconfident and dumb and… too dumb to admit he needs a smart solution. That would be both interesting and provide a kryptonite for him while avoiding just switching back and forth at the perfect time. otherwise it would seem like he is still super intelligent at all times and he just chooses when he needs strength.

That would setup the smarter version of himself to be the “Stronger” side. The more intelligent side would understand the need for strength, but still be very stubborn with switching. So, naturally, he would design situations ahead of time before he had to switch. Setups where the smarter side leaves the stronger side notes and instructions would be brought into effect.

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Posted by: InfernoHero.5687

InfernoHero.5687

If he is an above average norn, would that actually be a weakness? keep in mind what your goal is

Well, my logic behind this is: He still has his memories when he switches to either side, and he is an Asura. His education and any invention he has ever made would still stay with him.

He would “Remember” most of what he knows, so that would cause him to still think with some level of logic.

I’m mostly thinking of keeping his ability to communicate the same way. I don’t want to make him so dumb that he doesn’t sound like himself.

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Posted by: Dustfinger.9510

Dustfinger.9510

There ya go. But be careful with that always anticipating every situation. otherwise there is still no weakness. and keep in mind that if he is participating in interesting story lines then there may be people and situations he can’t plan for. Batman has Joker who is irrational and nuts. Superman has Lex Luthor who is smarter. They both have someone who can compete with them.

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Posted by: Dustfinger.9510

Dustfinger.9510

What ever level you choose to bring his strong side down to, try to keep in mind what it is that makes him less intelligent. Otherwise his two sides are smart and smart+stong. Then that would be inadvertently choosing the time limit option.

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Posted by: InfernoHero.5687

InfernoHero.5687

What about a weakness involving limitation?

Humans that are trained as athletes have to eat a LOT. Maybe his intelligence doesn’t drop when he goes for strength, but it takes a toll on his body. A toll large enough to make him collapse after a prolonged fight.

Starvation in humans eventually causes their body to break itself down and, basically, “Eat” itself. What if that happens constantly while he is exerting a large amount of strength.

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Posted by: Dustfinger.9510

Dustfinger.9510

That’s another idea. It would be a variation on the time limit aspect and make him vulnerable after the exertion. That was something that was done with the “strong guy” in the series Alphas. It takes a physical toll on him. I like it. It’s ultimately up to you. These were just a few ideas and things to keep in mind in order to allow your story to mesh with your guild mates. And to help keep you from getting bored with your character. The highest rule in RP is to have fun, after all

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Posted by: InfernoHero.5687

InfernoHero.5687

You’ve been a large help!

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Posted by: Louveepine.7630

Louveepine.7630

I think need a balance has determined.

my record for clairr (yes, she has a boy’s name) changes often.

She is a surgeon and Mesmer.

She passes several months has operated people, this plug have a decline in the use of magic and combat, she pasting a bit.
She becomes zero in combat, and must rely on people for his own safety when go to trade …

When she has not patients, and she remains long month browse Tyrie.  Initially it is essouflées, tired, and then she slowly resumed Magic Capacities.

But…. she loses points in Surgery.

Finally, I hope that the balance is correct …

(Sorry for bad english … I still have not managed to separate me from my mother language!)

# Asura because I’m worth it!

(edited by Louveepine.7630)

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Posted by: Dustfinger.9510

Dustfinger.9510

I like that. It’s interesting that she has such a long time period to switch back and forth.

Out of curiosity, where are you from that Clair is a boys name? Here in the US it’s usually reserved for women.

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Posted by: Louveepine.7630

Louveepine.7630

double “r” Clairr

Women sonority, but male asura writing. Parental Role play humor. its BG! =’)

# Asura because I’m worth it!

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Posted by: Dustfinger.9510

Dustfinger.9510

In the US, Clairr sounds like Clair either way :P What nationality name is Clairr?

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Posted by: Louveepine.7630

Louveepine.7630

a simple modification of the name Claire. it is French. Synonymous a luminous, gleam…

I love the sound, meaning, recall positive.

The full name of my character is Clairr Cosmique.

Cosmique is a nickname. I never give his real name and everyone call Doctor.

and Asuras rib her name. It is a wordplay, pun?

# Asura because I’m worth it!

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Posted by: Dustfinger.9510

Dustfinger.9510

Ah, I gotcha. kk.

It’s funny because asura rib here for having a boys name but over here we’d rib the boy for having a girls name :P And in France, it seems to be just fine. I like that.