Really bad lines you've grown fond of

Really bad lines you've grown fond of

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Posted by: Mungrul.9358

Mungrul.9358

There’s a couple of NPCs in Queensdale who have some atrocious lines of dialogue; so bad it’s good.

One is Abbot Matthias’ “Beer Song”:
“I love beer!
Beer makes me happy!
Beer makes me sing!
Beer makes me love!
Ev-ry-thing!”

A friend described it as sounding like a song you’d make up if you were two years old.

And then there’s Crazy Bear Lady:
“I know people! DANGEROUS people!”

This level of corny dialogue continues the glorious tradition defined in Guild Wars 1 by Rurik’s:
“DAH! My good and excellent friends!”

What are your favourite lines of really bad dialogue?
Stuff so bad, so goofy, you can’t help but chuckle?

Edit: Off on a tangent, can someone at ArenaNet tell me why Crazy Bear Lady doesn’t use the same old lady model as Lady Grimassi?

Please note that due to restrictions placed on my account, I am only allowed 1 post per hour.
Therefore I may take some time replying to you.

(edited by Mungrul.9358)

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Posted by: MasterGeese.4756

MasterGeese.4756

From Sorrow’s Embrace Path 3:

“NO NO NO! We should go to the armory! That’s where Zadarozhnj(or something) will be!”

Not all that funny on its own, but there is a very obvious spot that you can walk over to trigger the dialogue over and over again, resulting in something along the lines of,
!
“NO NO NO! NO NO! NO! NO NO NO! NO NO NO NO NO! We sh- NO NO NO! NO NO!”

And now that Arenanet fixed a similar bug in HotW, I try and trigger this one as much as possible while I can.

Any line spoken by dredge also falls under this category, since it’s 100% overdone to the point of ridiculousness.

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Posted by: Oglaf.1074

Oglaf.1074

Change your language to German for SE path 3.

It makes it even better.

I can do thirty Five-Dolyak Arm Curls.

Do you even lift, bro?

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Posted by: GuzziHero.2467

GuzziHero.2467

“NO NO NO, The Armoury’s the other way!” – yeah, that one.

The pirate song is pretty accurate, and badly sung which makes it more accurate.

Dredge singing is so bad it makes my toes curl

My fave dialogue however has to be the Asura and Sylvari in The Grove, with its Bladerunner references.

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Posted by: CyanideOxide.8952

CyanideOxide.8952

Everything the Bandits say.

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Posted by: PCanineBrigade.4916

PCanineBrigade.4916

WEAKNESS MAKES ME SICK.
-/keep inflicting weakness, hoping that the centaur would barf or something :\

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Posted by: Esplen.3940

Esplen.3940

YOU GOT THE SONG WRONG, IT’S ALE.

“I love ale!
Ale makes me happy!
Ale makes me sing!
Ale makes me love!
Ev-ry-thing!”

Also:
The gates to the Citadel of Flame are now open!
(1 minute later) The gates to the Citadel of Flame are now open!

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Posted by: Zaxares.5419

Zaxares.5419

“(laugh) You’re kidding, right?”

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Posted by: deSade.9437

deSade.9437

Your weakness makes me laugh!

Your spiders ar eabove me? I hope Leurent skewers you, and leaves you to rot in the shade…
Oh, don’t be like that, sweetie. You are rather special. After all, my children haven’t eaten in a looong time…

I can slay CITIES!!

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Posted by: Exterminans.9723

Exterminans.9723

“No! I handraised that minion!”

“Now I need to make another one.”

“It began as a corpse and now it is a corpse again.”

Seriously, who thought it would be a good idea to make necromancers have a line EVERY TIME a minion dies?!

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Posted by: Maravain.8096

Maravain.8096

What my male elementalist says when he either gets a boon or changes attunements.
“Urge to kill rising.”
I laugh every time.

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Posted by: Cero.5132

Cero.5132

“Step back! Watch me push a button! Uh or maybe I´ll even switch a lever!”

And there used to be a sound bug in hotw path1 where the Kodan NPC finds his sons.
“Wh-Wh-Wh-What is Wh-Wh-What is this – What is this?”

That one always made me laugh

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Posted by: Oglaf.1074

Oglaf.1074

And there used to be a sound bug in hotw path1 where the Kodan NPC finds his sons.
“Wh-Wh-Wh-What is Wh-Wh-What is this – What is this?”

That one always made me laugh

It is still there, despite what the path notes says.

I can do thirty Five-Dolyak Arm Curls.

Do you even lift, bro?

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Posted by: Nilkemia.8507

Nilkemia.8507

YOU FOUND THE BEAR’S DEN, LET’S CELEBRATE WITH FIGHTING! – Bear Shrine.

It only happens if you get up on the top of the shrine, and it’s loud.

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Posted by: synk.6907

synk.6907

"(laugh) You’re kidding, right?"

And both the male and female voice actors deliver this line with such great bravado and arrogance. I love it.

My female charr, using Battle Cry, sometimes gets a little too into it: "Crush! Maim! Kill!"

A male asura ran past me yesterday and was swapping attunement, I think, and I remember cracking a smile. I cannot recall exactly what he said, though, and sadly we do not yet seem to have a complete list of combat/skill-related dialogue (though the wiki has a good amount of it filled out for all of the boons and conditions).

(edited by synk.6907)

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Posted by: ampy.1387

ampy.1387

“Are you joking friend?”

Music is the Weapon of the Future.

ïryss | Engineer

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Posted by: Ghertu.7096

Ghertu.7096

“No! I handraised that minion!”

“Now I need to make another one.”

“It began as a corpse and now it is a corpse again.”

Seriously, who thought it would be a good idea to make necromancers have a line EVERY TIME a minion dies?!

Man, i’m with you. It’s a freaking annoying thing.

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Posted by: Malganis.7468

Malganis.7468

“Your plan is just stupid and won’t work!”

Legion of Honour [XIII]: http://operationunion.enjin.com/home
Tarnished Coast

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Posted by: Behellagh.1468

Behellagh.1468

New land. NEW LAND!

We are heroes. This is what we do!

RIP City of Heroes

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Posted by: Iehova.9518

Iehova.9518

Change your language to German for SE path 3.

It makes it even better.

Let me guess. “NEIN NEIN NEIN”?

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Posted by: Zaxares.5419

Zaxares.5419

“(laugh) You’re kidding, right?”

And both the male and female voice actors deliver this line with such great bravado and arrogance. I love it.

It seems to be a roughly 50:50 chance whether they’re overconfident or cowardly. I lost track of how many times the Bandits yell “Get over here and help me!” or “I’m dying here!” whenever I attack them. … Even as the bandit then proceeds to devastate me with conditions. XD

Some of the lines they say if they kill you are equally hilarious though. “(spit) Another one down!”

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Posted by: Jeremy.9875

Jeremy.9875

Bear Shaman Marga: Bear approves of you. I can feel her little tail wagging in my heart.

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Posted by: AveryFarman.2973

AveryFarman.2973

“By the power of ME! Heh, heh, heh.”

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Posted by: Mungrul.9358

Mungrul.9358

Yeah, that is cheesy, in a good way
There’s a couple of female Sylvari lines that fit as well. While the delivery is fab (I wouldn’t expect anything less from the incomparable Jennifer Hale), these two lines make me double-you-tee-eff-lol whenever I hear them:

“I want that!” when she gets an exotic or more valuable item. What do you mean, you want that? YOU ALREADY HAVE IT.

“I am that.” I think that’s on levelling. WHAT DOES IT MEEEAAAN?

Please note that due to restrictions placed on my account, I am only allowed 1 post per hour.
Therefore I may take some time replying to you.

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Posted by: ElenaDragon.8401

ElenaDragon.8401

“I am that.” I think that’s on levelling. WHAT DOES IT MEEEAAAN?

I always thought it was “I earned that”. Of course said with a British accent.

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Posted by: geogyf.5087

geogyf.5087

“Its my destiny”

when i complete my daily gatherer quest
:(

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Posted by: Handiman.9573

Handiman.9573

“I could outrun a centaur!”

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Posted by: Nightarch.2943

Nightarch.2943

BY OGDEN’S HAMMER, WHAT SAVINGS!
Oh wait—this isn’t the good lines thread..

Guild Wars 2 is not a sequel to the original Guild Wars but merely an alternative story setting.

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Posted by: OmaiGodman.2098

OmaiGodman.2098

BY OGDEN’S HAMMER, WHAT SAVINGS!
Oh wait—this isn’t the good lines thread..

Now this has to be posted:

Any plan that involves dead quaggans is, by design, foolproof. I’m an unmitigated genius!

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Posted by: Darkhayle.2473

Darkhayle.2473

“Severe weather warning!” “Turn the tide” “Turn up the heat!”
basically male asura ele dialogue is the best, cheesy dialogue ever :p

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Posted by: RedTeamPyro.7814

RedTeamPyro.7814

walks up to the armoury outside the citadel on new charr character
“Can’t wait to tell my warband about THIS place!”

1. its stupid.
2. the places this line activates…. LOL
3. 1+2=3

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Posted by: LumAnth.5124

LumAnth.5124

That chicken song in Kessex Hills

I LOL’D
it goes like :

Chickens peck and chickens munch
Chickens cluck and chickens crunch
Chickens flap and chickens croon
Chickens on the table soon!

Sorry for the typos….
I’m usually typing on my phone

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Posted by: Xainou.1502

Xainou.1502

There’s this group of norn in hoelbrak, comparing the size of their axe collections. At some point they turn to a guy that hasn’t spoken up yet:
“So, how many axes do you call your own?”
“I’m collecting pistols.”
" … oh…"

Wonder who would win this fight

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Posted by: Donari.5237

Donari.5237

I miss the Lion’s Shadow Inn woman that was repeatedly approached by an Asura researcher, and told the scientist “You’re wasting your time. Nothing ever happens in the suburbs.” Well, something did. I hope she lived.

And remember the Happy Woman of Divinity’s Reach? I don’t blame them for removing her (and <3 to the patch notes referring to her getting thicker walls in her house). Let’s just say a sound got looped and turned into a woman having a really good time.

Cheesy current lines? I’m leveling a male ‘vari and when he dings he’ll say “My destiny is taking root.” Sheesh.

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Posted by: Halcyon.7352

Halcyon.7352

“I could outrun a centaur!”

I once came across a human mesmer simply named “A Centaur.” He was, naturally, struggling across the landscape of Cursed Shore with a focus in hand as his last moments of the boon ran out.

My vote for best mesmer name ever, anyway.

Tarnished Coast Engineer and… general alt-o-holic.

For the toast!

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Posted by: Astroplatypus.4573

Astroplatypus.4573

The absolute worst/best lines I’ve ever heard are near the Smokestead Waypoint in Plains of Ashford. I warp there to update traits and run AC, and I have to listen to:

“We don’t need no god,
We’re the firing squad!
So if you don’t want my flail,
Better shake that mighty tail!
Aw, yeah!
Oo-rah; move out!”

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Posted by: MidnightX.6294

MidnightX.6294

Scarlet: “Die die die. Die die die, die die.”

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Posted by: Donari.5237

Donari.5237

I just heard one I keep forgetting but … it’s so cheesy.

“So then I says to her, I says, if you looked like Lyssa, I wouldn’t have to ask!” Some guy in DR. I might have the start of the line wrong.

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Posted by: Ardid.7203

Ardid.7203

Female sylvari mesmer has a favorite of mine:
“This rose has thorns… AND HERE THEY ARE!”

My asura engie, in the other hand, has one even better:
“You’re dumb. You’ll die, and you’ll leave a dumb corpse.”

“Only problem with the Engineer is
that it makes every other class in the game boring to play.”
Hawks

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Posted by: Tanith.5264

Tanith.5264

There are a pair of skritt guards at one of the havens in Metrica that I call Beavis and Butt-head due to their exchange:

“Bored.”
“BEEELLCCHHH!!!”
“HAHAHAHAHA!”

Silly? You bet. But cute in an adolescent sort of way.

Tanith Fencewalker, Tanni Mindbender, Thyra Wrathbringer, Lovecraft Thrall
Guardians of the Vault [GotV] and Guíld of Dívíne Soldíers [GoDS]
Gate of Madness server

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Posted by: Foosnark.1784

Foosnark.1784

“I feel six feet tall!”

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Posted by: Xyvol.1265

Xyvol.1265

My favorite of the sylvari female PC lines is from confusion, “Oh, what’s happening?”

Though it’s ridiculous when she shouts “I’m dying!” and my health bar is down barely a quarter. SO dramatic!

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Posted by: CrimsonDX.4821

CrimsonDX.4821

Subdirector Blingg: “Citizens!”

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Posted by: Dee Jay.2460

Dee Jay.2460

I don’t know where you draw the line between corny and entertaining because I find GW2’s dialogue to be quite good actually. It finds a nice balance between humor and seriousness needed for a fantasy plot.

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Posted by: Conaywea.5062

Conaywea.5062

“mmhm! your attention please!”

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Posted by: Genbu.1705

Genbu.1705

‘Kiss my tail!’
‘I don’t like delays, where are my slaves?’

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Posted by: OmaiGodman.2098

OmaiGodman.2098

I think when you’re in the hunter’s lodge in Queensdale, at one point Emi says something along the lines of “This lodge definitely needs more slaughter” and Chiffly responds with “More killing, too”.
I always found that to be quite random but funny.

Any plan that involves dead quaggans is, by design, foolproof. I’m an unmitigated genius!

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Posted by: Cormac.3871

Cormac.3871

After hearing dozens of bandits saying “Now I’ll never…” when they die, I had to laugh when I killed an Inquest operative who with his last gasp uttered “Now my golem will never…”

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Posted by: Rym.1469

Rym.1469

Hmmm… Most of human lines.

Also, the sounds of fighting Asura, especially male. It sounds like they’re taking very painful dump.

[rude]Antagonistka – Revenant, EU.
[SALT]Natchniony – Necromancer, EU.
Streams: http://www.twitch.tv/rym144

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Posted by: Lothirieth.3408

Lothirieth.3408

“I think we have more spies.”

That chicken song in Kessex Hills

I LOL’D
it goes like :

Chickens peck and chickens munch
Chickens cluck and chickens crunch
Chickens flap and chickens croon
Chickens on the table soon!

Where exactly is this?