Guild Wars 2

Yesterday I overheard some in-world dialogue that put a smile on my face because it was well acted and pretty clever. I don’t remember the NPC names but it was in the Fireheart Rise zone (charr 60-70) and the event was to protect them while they fixed some machinery at the bottom of a tarred lake. The gist of the exchange was as follows:

“I don’t think the Flame Legion will like these repairs we just made.”

“I don’t care, the Flame Legion can die in a fire!”

“They might like that.”

What’s some dialogue you came across that was pretty good?

Somewhere in Divinity’s Reach:
“You put a shooting range next to a tavern?”
“Only one fatality this week!”

Was one of the Human Personal Stories, heard this little gem;

Soldier 1 (Asura): Incoming, Incoming! Too many to count!
Soldier 2 (Charr): Oh that’s a lot of help… What kind of Asura can’t count?!

Wording isn’t exact, and I don’t know what race soldier 2 actually was, though that dosn’t really matter.

From personal story (dw it isnt spoilerish), i will paraphrase because i cant remember correctly;

norn, to the player: Its a good thing that you’ve arrived, we were about to start snacking on Blobb’s big brain here.
asura, to the norn: one spoonful of my cranium would elevate your intelligence to the point of realizing how useless you are! In your anguish you would end it all.

Likewise, I’ll have to paraphrase, though it wasn’t a personal story thing…

Somewhere in Shaemoor, just outside a house, two newlyweds were discussing the weather…
Man: “So, what do you want to do? Have a picnic? Go for a walk?”
Woman: “I’m so glad I’m married!”
Man: “It’s been three days. You’re not tired of me yet?”
Woman: “Tired of you? Never!”
Man: “In that case, forget the picnic. Let’s go back inside!”

At this point, the woman did the /cheer emote and ran back up the steps into the house, and the man chased her excitedly.

Really, guys, it’s the little touches like this that make the game so great. I love it! (Still wish I could remember the wording exactly, though…)

EDIT: It wasn’t Shaemoor, after all. It was the Ascalon Settlement in Gendarran Fields.

I’m loving all the side dialog. One in particular I hear a lot by the leatherworking station in Black Citadel:

Charr 1: “…then the cub said ‘You hold him down, and I’ll kick em in the ribs!’ Haha!”
Charr 2: “Haha! Cubs these days!”

And if you haven’t seen this, you really should.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPjwHqc2ZII

Random Asura Progeny (child) in Lion’s Arch:

“I like turtles!”

The charr and asura are full of funny lines.

Mad Mardine:
“Finally. What took so long? Were you talking to cows again?”
“Cows seem to loose bowel control upon launch… Let’s call it a feature!”
“If a guard shows up here, act like nothing happened.” – Made even funnier by the fact that a guard does show up and argues with him.

Char soldiers at Moorwatch Tower:
“Do you think cows migrate?”
“What?”
“You know, like birds.”
“Don’t be stupid. There’s no such thing as flying cows!”
“Maybe it was an exotic cow. From someplace far away.”
“Get it through you thick skull, there’s no such thing as flying cows!”
“Hey you hear that? I thought I heard a ‘Moo’ just now.”
“What?! Where?! Incoming!”
“Hahahah! Just kidding.”
“Do that again and I’ll kill you!”

Charr soliders at cooking fire:
“Is it done yet boss?”
“No! Stop asking or you’re next on the spit!”

Flame legion solider you fight in Ash legion story quest Spy For A Spy:
“Ow! That hurt like-I mean, nice shot.”

Iron legion marksman teacher:
“Failure to follow all of these guidelines will result in death or mutilation… Yours!”

Clawspur:
“Howl charged off ahead again. He’s going to end up with a knife in his back some day. But not mine probably. Not unless someone steals my knife.”

“I’ve got a flame legion scratch to mur-I mean, scratch.”

Reeva:
“Congratulations on the promotion! We should celebrate! I know! We’ll kill something, and then I’ll make a nice red cake with lots of frosting!”

When starting the Salvaging Scrap quest and aiding the scrappers:
“Call me crazy, but going off alone with a couple of scrappers to do scrapper work sounds… Well, it sounds a lot stupider than you normally sound. No offense.”
- Answer you expect her to avenge you if they kill you -
“Done! One vendetta, coming right up!”

Dinky:
“Awww, now I want a ghost torch too! I’ll hang him over my fireplace and call him Ol’ blue.”

“I’ll remember the code. Well, I’ll remember we have a code. Someone else will have to remember the numbers.”

“So this Soure guy tried to join the flame legion? Can we trust him? They say the friend of my enemy is my enemy’s friend. And the friend of my enemy’s friend is my enemy’s friend’s friend.”

Charr vender and partygoer at Meatoberfest:
“That’s all I’ve got! What do you want me to do, sacrifice a goat for you?!”
“Yeah that sounds great. One nice fresh, juicy goat please. And some smoked beef sticks.
(Disgustedly) “Here have another beer.”

Asura researching skrit:
“We’ve confirmed two skrit are smarter than one. And three are smarter than two.”
“So we’re just measuring skrit for brains.”
“You’ve been just dying to say that haven’t you?”

Asura golem researching aggressive skirt to deer:
“Greetings life-form. I have a questions for research purposes. Question one: Are you a skirt?”
‘No response from deer’
“No response from subject. Likelihood of being a skrit increased. Thank you life-form. Your lack of response has been noted.”

Same golem:
“Life-form has picked up shiny object. Likelihood of being a skrit increased.”

A norn somewhere outside a tavern or small house:
“I could think of 20 different ways to kill you with a biscuit. And still be able to eat the biscuit afterwards.”

Someone also mentioned there was a place where some flame legion guys were discussing what to do after their shaman died and said he’d come back. And eventually realize he’s not coming back and start complaining it’s a waste of time waiting for him.

Anyone know where that is?

I find the conversation between the char cub and human child in Lions Arch to be really sweet. They’re both playing with each other and after their game they say that they’re each others best friend but not to tell their parents.

Love the lines from Lightbringer Tybalt Leftpaw when u first meet him disguised as an Apple vendor.

“Apples, not pears! Here’s, not there’s! Come buy an apple?”

“Apples! Apples for sale, come get a nice quiet apple! Psst! They’re so quiet, you might say they’re whispering!”

When dialogue initiated:

“Psst. Hey, there. Can I interest you in an apple?”
“I’m looking for my contact. A member of the Or-”
“Ack! Ssssh! Apples for sale! Nothing but apples to see here, folks!”
“What part of “secret society” wasn’t explained to you? Keep your voice down, initiate, and pretend you’re buying an apple."
“Sorry, Uh, gimme that apple. The one over there.”
….

Just love Tybalt Leftpaw!

Nellie: “I found the most interesting rock, today. You should come see it.”
Caden: “A rock. Right. No thanks.”
Nellie: “No, really! It’s all silvery on the outside, and the center’s a swirling purple.”
Caden: “Nellie, I wouldn’t go over there for the most impressive rock in the world. Not after last time.”
Nellie: “Drat!”

RoyHarmon.5398:

Likewise, I’ll have to paraphrase, though it wasn’t a personal story thing…

Somewhere in Shaemoor, just outside a house, two newlyweds were discussing the weather…
Man: “So, what do you want to do? Have a picnic? Go for a walk?”
Woman: “I’m so glad I’m married!”
Man: “It’s been three days. You’re not tired of me yet?”
Woman: “Tired of you? Never!”
Man: “In that case, forget the picnic. Let’s go back inside!”

At this point, the woman did the /cheer emote and ran back up the steps into the house, and the man chased her excitedly.

Really, guys, it’s the little touches like this that make the game so great. I love it! (Still wish I could remember the wording exactly, though…)

Found it! It was in the Ascalonian settlement, apparently, not Queensdale.

charr NPC are very funny like tybalt
and the 1 shooting cows i rofl when i saw it and when he speak about it

dunno who the actors is but great wotk GW2 team you make my day ^^

I like the one at the Bank in Lion Arch about how trade and commerce brings everyone together.

It kind of outlines how to deal with many of the current Islam vs. West conflicts.

“The cannon’s has been adjusted.
This time we will bring him down, for good”

Cannon operator at Claw of Jormag event.

Shooopa.5632:

Someone also mentioned there was a place where some flame legion guys were discussing what to do after their shaman died and said he’d come back. And eventually realize he’s not coming back and start complaining it’s a waste of time waiting for him.

Found it, it’s at Vermin’s Folly in the Iron Marches.

“He’s been dead a long time now. When exactly did he say he would rise from the ashes?”
“I don’t know. But he said it, so it must be true! Should we try setting him on fire again?”

“He’s dead. I’m leaving. Maybe I can still make it to the flame citadel.”
“No! It’s a test of our devotion! He’ll come back twice as powerful! You’ll see!”

“You look friendly” – random human npc to norn player in heavy orrian armor…

The banker in Lion’s Arch:

“Greetings! … Oh… it’s YOU”

Quaggan’s a piwate, Yarr!

oOo, nice teeth.
- Random male Quaggan

Always makes me wanna escape as fast as I can before 20 quaggans take hold of me and try to rip my jaw off.

Arquin.1349:

oOo, nice teeth.
- Random male Quaggan

Always makes me wanna escape as fast as I can before 20 quaggans take hold of me and try to rip my jaw off.

I’ve always been a bit afraid of Quaggans whenever one of them says the said line, but now I am thoroughly terrified.

Over a month and no post for "By Ogden’s hammer, what savings!!" ???

Oh my god, that’s right, Ogden’s Hammer…

Near the Lion’s Arch bank…

Asura child: “Your face is funny! It’s all mushed and weird…”
Charr soldier: “No, YOUR face is funny. It’s like a little raisin…”

“Skritt! I’m hit!”

AliceJutta.3824:

Arquin.1349:

oOo, nice teeth.
- Random male Quaggan

Always makes me wanna escape as fast as I can before 20 quaggans take hold of me and try to rip my jaw off.

I’ve always been a bit afraid of Quaggans whenever one of them says the said line, but now I am thoroughly terrified.

It’s doubly creepy when the female Quaggan next to him then compliments you on your “nice skin”.

“Kiss my tail.”

-Citadel of Flame, Path 1

I like the NPC chatter up on the guard tower in Frostgorge sound I think it’ s elder’s vale?

Priory Scribe: Too dmn cold (forum won’t let me post the real word xD)

Pact crusader: Deal with you sniveling snot bag. You’re like a weak sapling in the middle of a powerful forest of towering trees that can smash you with just one branch.

Priory Scribe: You went on too long there. You could’ve just said “deal with it” and I would’ve gotten the message.

Another convo they have…………….

Priory Scribe: Well geologically speaking, the water is new to this area. This used to be mountainous.

Pact crusader: I spit on your “geologistical” The world doesn’t change like that.

Priory Scribe: Dwaves? Mines? Shiverpeaks? Do you know nothing?

Pact crusader: Relax our storytellers say the same thing. I’m just bored. And you’re endlessly entertaining.

I enjoy the humming and whisteling that I heard from some NPC’s walking around in Queensdale. Each time I thought it was my boyfriend…and he also thought it was me

Also gotta love the song that the Quaggan girl sings under water.
“swimming swimming swimming…all summer long…swimming swimming swimming…it makes the flipper strong”

My boyfriend has a Thief that has a tendency to say things when its not quite right.
Yesterday we were fighting a huge wurm and it was tossing huge rocks at us.
His thief was hit by one and said " refreshing"…I know he prob also stepped in my rangers healingspring, but it all sounded so funny

Kajiri.8215:

Quaggan’s a piwate, Yarr!

Quaggan pirate was so cute. Ghost was good too. Only ones I gave candy corn too (lol).

I remember there was a hillarious conversation in Gendarran Fields between some bandits about letters which started from one claiming “X Marks the spot” before an event where they searched for treasure started.
Somebody uploaded the video on youtube but I never found it again, it was probably one of my favorite conversations due to the sheer comedy it had! (If anybody has the link of it, could you please post it here?)

And although not exactly audio, literally everyone should go to the Skritt IQ test subjects in Metrica Province and talk to them just from how funny it is.

Two Skritt sentries at the Lionguard Haven in Metrica Province:

“Guarding!”
“Guarding. Guarding!”
“Guarding guarding guarding!”
“Guarding. Guarding. Guarding. … Guarding!”
“Aww, you win.”

MasterGeese.4756:

Near the Lion’s Arch bank…

Asura child: “Your face is funny! It’s all mushed and weird…”
Charr soldier: “No, YOUR face is funny. It’s like a little raisin…”

Love that one!

I’ve always loved this conversation near the Asura gates in LA:

Norn: “If I chase a wounded prey through the gate, will it cauterize the wound?”
Asura: “I… I don’t know. My word, what an intriguing question.”
Norn: “How can a question be intriguing?”

I laughed so hard when I first heard this.

Random NPC in Divinity’s Reach- “My job’s better than yours!” the way he says it makes me laugh everytime, he sounds so proud of himself.

What’s complicated mean?

Best one by far….Moriarity’s Hold, Bloodtide Coast. I was running through there one night and Captain Penzan busted out in some long song, was great. Found a vid of it….http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7jlYKKh45w

Also if you follow him on his side quest to find his treasure you will be laughing the whole time. One of those hidden gems in the game.

Dasty.6782:

I remember there was a hillarious conversation in Gendarran Fields between some bandits about letters which started from one claiming “X Marks the spot” before an event where they searched for treasure started.
Somebody uploaded the video on youtube but I never found it again, it was probably one of my favorite conversations due to the sheer comedy it had! (If anybody has the link of it, could you please post it here?)

And although not exactly audio, literally everyone should go to the Skritt IQ test subjects in Metrica Province and talk to them just from how funny it is.

I was just talking about this quest in my post above, lol.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8Gb6uZzoTE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnHljj2DlqI

Vanive.3804:

Best one by far….Moriarity’s Hold, Bloodtide Coast. I was running through there one night and Captain Penzan busted out in some long song, was great. Found a vid of it….http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7jlYKKh45w

Also if you follow him on his side quest to find his treasure you will be laughing the whole time. One of those hidden gems in the game.

There’s another dynamic event that lets you find out how the, er, treasure he procures at the end of that event gets left in the swamp. I liked that little connection.

I screenshot’d a lot of the dialogue from Webb Daukins as I escorted him around in a Kessex Hills event. I won’t past it all here, but suffice to say it was a pretty touching tale — quite good writing for only being a small handful of lines.

There’s a lot of love in the little details in the game world.

Dasty.6782:

I remember there was a hillarious conversation in Gendarran Fields between some bandits about letters which started from one claiming “X Marks the spot” before an event where they searched for treasure started.
Somebody uploaded the video on youtube but I never found it again, it was probably one of my favorite conversations due to the sheer comedy it had! (If anybody has the link of it, could you please post it here?)

And although not exactly audio, literally everyone should go to the Skritt IQ test subjects in Metrica Province and talk to them just from how funny it is.

Yes I remember the bandit one – there’s about 4 of them following the leader a little way behind him and they are talking between themselves and making little comments that are following the alphabet. The captain chimes in a couple of times and it ends with something like him saying “Shut up or I’ll eviscerate you”. One of the pirates whispers to the other “He said Eviscerate….”

I loved it – would love to find it again.

EDIT* – went for a bit of a look and found it – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOVHzn7Rudc

“I’m rich you know.”

“My strength… INCREASES!”

I just saw this one in Lion’s Arch, near the gates in Fort Marriner:

Asura Mist Warrior: “Troop movement in the Mists War follows a predictable pattern, except where radial field theory suggests otherwise.”
Charr Mist Warrior: “Um… Uh huh. Well, tomorrow I’m going back through that portal, and my movements will be completely badkitten.”

“that’ll be 20 silver”
“20? Yesterday it was 10.”
“Today, 20.”

“Urge to kill: Rising!”

I loved the giggle of the snowball fighter skritt in LA during Wintersday.
And Rikkiti in Metrica Province also has some great skriticisms, including the best “SHINY!” in the game.

“I’ve been sober for so long I can feel my face. I don’t want to feel this face!”

- Some Priory Norn that appears during a dynamic event in Bloodtide Coast

“Stuff, stuff, STUFF!”