The Fresh Prince of LA
(an open letter to Evon Gnashblade to add Spaulders and Grasp back into the gem store)
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I’ll tell you why i’m sad that Scarlet’s Spaulders and Grasp ain’t here
On the west side of Tyria born and raised
In Caledon was where I spent most of my days
Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool
And all shootin some Nightmare Court outside of the scrying pool
When a couple of Asura who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my planty-hood
I got in one little fight and the ’Tree got scared
She said ’You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in LA’
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suit case and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my thicket.
I put my tight pants on and said, ‘I might as well kick it’.
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking melon juice out of a dwarven glass.
Is this what the people of LA be livin like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
But wait I hear they’re prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool plant?
I don’t think so
I’ll see when I get there
I hope they’re prepared for the prince who strives to be so fair.
Well, the airsship landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a lionguard standing there with my name out
I ain’t trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like swiftness, disappeared
I whistled for a trader and when he came near
The merchant cart said ‘Moot’ and had disco ball lookin mirror
If anything I could say that this cart was rare
But I thought ‘Nah, forget it’ – ’Yo, homes you got any wares?!"
He pulled up some armor pieces, about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the merchant ‘Yo, where’s your Scarlet stuff, why you gotta be a hater?"
I looked at my armor
I was not nearly there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of LA
