Guild Wars 2

I was sat in Lion’s arch waiting for a guild dungeon run, and thought I’d make up some Charr style Philosophy. (please do not throw things at me)

Warrior : “Sorry, am I crushing your throat? Speak up, I can’t hear you!”

Ranger: “The Charr have always loved animals, we eat very little else.”

Guardian: “I just do these rituals, I don’t care why they work, ok.”

Engineer: “You can always find some way to blow something up, the real skill is in not being there when it happens.”

Thief: “Cat got your tongue? Why yes I do, and probably your lungs as well.”

Elementalist: “Worst part of this job is getting my fur to lie flat again after I use air magic.”

Mesmer: “You’ll go further in this life with a blade and a good spell, than with a blade alone.”

Necromancer: “Death is but a doorway, let me open it for you.”

I love these. They sound like what NPC could say. Good job.

First one,for the warrior is awesome,since i play Charr warrior it would be awesome to have it on macro! They are all great,thank you for showing us these.

Engineer: If it ain’t twitching you ain’t burning it right!

I just realized how being a charr elementalist must be actually a pain. Air magic raising your hair, you have mud everywhere from using earth, you probably should use gloves for fire magic or you’ll be a wickercat soon and you’re probably a very angry wet cat right after being forced to heal yourself or your party. Ugh.

I still consider charr scholars to be a bit weird during a civil war against flame legion, I don’t really know where the hell charr guardians are supposed to summon that blue shiny stuff from, and well, finally I can’t see a charr ranger wandering around with a pig/hog/bird but for ‘later use’ when you get hungry.

GJ tho.

these are seriously awesome, i hope the devs put them in for a taunt skill or similar in wvw

Elementalist: When in doubt, nuke it. Then nuke it again

What do you call a charr with its tail on fire?

Charmander

I’m sure the heavier professions would joke about the scholar professions in this way. Especially Engineers.
I like these lines, they need to be implemented

These are great! Not so sure about the theif one, but i’m probably just being picky, because I main theif

Good work though

Love em, good work. I was going to try to come up with some…but yeah I got nothing lol

“Humans love lamenting the disappearance of their Gods. The way I see it, if they ever stopped moping maybe they’d learn how to build something better than a trebuchet.”

“The Asurans believe in the Eternal Alchemy. I believe in Charr Ingenuity.”

“I fight tooth and claw so the other guy fights hand and knee.”

“A Slyvari kept prattling on about how beautiful nature is, but when I showed him the beauty of a well oiled rifle straight from the forge, the smell of gunpowder in the air, he wilted like a leaf.”

“If a Norn is tugging on your horns, grab their beard, that’ll set ’em straight.”

That’s all I can think of for now.

Well I do say in proximity chat, in character, when I use my mortar or turrets.

I put a rifle turret down or my mortar in WvW and people who’ve never used them or seen them before, they run over and stare at it and I turn around and say “Stop. Don’t touch that.”, “Stop touching that, don’t.” and I get my mortar back :P

Zuckerhund.4179:

“If a Norn is tugging on your horns, grab their beard, that’ll set ’em straight.”

…Kinky… O_o

“always make sure there’s skritt nearby in a battle…that way when you run out of ammo there’s always some ‘live’ ammunition available…”

Enjoy the visual from that

Garrus.5089:

Well I do say in proximity chat, in character, when I use my mortar or turrets.

I put a rifle turret down or my mortar in WvW and people who’ve never used them or seen them before, they run over and stare at it and I turn around and say “Stop. Don’t touch that.”, “Stop touching that, don’t.” and I get my mortar back :P

Personally, I’ve generally regarded the mortar as something for non-engineers to use. Engineers always have at least a decent longish-range attack and many people hold the grenade kit as superior to the mortar anyway, but other professions can easily find themselves lacking a suitable long-ranged attack for the circumstance, and laying down a mortar lets them continue to participate when their own weapon set is keyed for different circumstances.

Absolutely awesome, I really enjoyed necro wish I could shout that in game whenever I killed something.