Guild Wars 2

I can’t possibly be the only female to experience this.

It makes me ill to experience this.

So: the gaming world comprises of more than just males.

I don’t think this issue being taken seriously.

1. Yes, gender tropes are indeed offensive
2. Males do not have an inherent position of superiority.
3. Being a minority does not make us lesser players ( I dare you to 1v1 me).

I have been playing since pre-release and I am sick of of the way I am spoken to on guild chat, map chat, and/ or voip interfaces. I play this games still because I like the interface; I am certainly better than average; and I like to play competitively. But in a social environment—which this game necessitates for higher-level play—I nonetheless have to deal with scorn, ridicule and plain ignorance; it’s not a boys club any longer.

So for the time being I will continue to solo play and pug, as well as I can, in sPvP and WvW, until I get bored and move on to another game—or I am able to find a comfortable spot in this virtual world.

But if this game would like lose a significant part of your market share, it behooves you to not let this topic be spoken about out in the open. What can you do, the company who designs and owns and moderates this game, do about it? I’m not sure; but just because I don’t have all the answers, doesn’t mean I can’t pose an important problem.

Valess

Don’t think this is the right Category for it, but anyway My fellow guild members sometimes have those problems, but in my Guild we have I think like 10 females and we treat them no different, even the Guild leader is a female. To be honest if you are having a problem with Guild Chat and nothing is being done towards sexist behavior would try to find a new guild.

Maybe a good way to get past this would be to not shout about being a female? Sure it is not the perfect solution but it would help quite a bit.
Another thing would be to get another guild, since it does seems like the guild is part of the problem (unless you VOIP with pugs and such, which I think is quite uncommon). We have at least two women in our guild (that we have heard on voice-chat) and they are not treated any different from the rest of us.

ArenaNet can’t really do much about stuff like this though, since it is a problem with the players not the game itself.

I feel for you Valess.

However, in my experience it’s only a small minority of players that behaves likes morons and kittens. (Hehe, it won’t allow me to say what really needs to be said. )Perhaps, you’re in the wrong guild? Maybe the wrong server? As there are many guilds who expect all members to be treated with respect, and won’t tolerate nonsense from the few players who like to behave like, well, I just won’t say…..

Nearly half of our guild (of 260) is female, including the co-leader. I hear what you are saying, but it is def not always the case.

Speaking of guilds, how many male guilds only have I seen in my MMO history, none. How many female guilds only? over 50. I’m not excusing males to ever disrespect women, but it goes both way, the worse comments I have ever seen have come from women, but does that mean all women should be branded badly for it? …

You should really leave your guild if they’re being that way, why you’re staying there is beyond me.

you should come to LoTS on fissure of woe, im co-leader to my guild leader, who is a female. i treat females no different than males, i judge you on whether or not you are a nice person or not, and so does the rest of our guild. our guild has a number 1 rule: no discimination for gender, race, accent, or anything else. any discrimination=kicked. period. end of story.

report/block them, it’s not Anet’s fault

I don’t see how this is Anet’s issue. I’d say it’s a personal issue, myself, since you’re being sensitive.

We have both males and females in my guild, and we call each other all sorts of kitten over teamspeak— and laugh at it. Don’t take everything so seriously.

Honestly, I think you should probably change your attitude. It seems that just by your post, you are first and foremost putting yourself as an equal to the guys. Most men aren’t going to strait up treat you like garbage unless their completely immature and have absolutely no respect for women period. Hey, unfortunately some men are like that but the majority aren’t.

If you surround yourself with bulldogs and act like a bulldog yourself, you really can’t be upset if they start treating you as a bulldog. If you can’t take the heat then don’t hang out by the furnace. In all things you have a choice, so choose to hang out with a more mature crowd and you’ll probably not have those prepubescent young men giving you a hard time.

We have women in our guild, my girlfriend is one of them. She has never encountered any such thing on Guildwars 2 at all. But she doesn’t go putting it out there or making it obvious like she has some equality complex to prove to the boys either. None of the guys in the guild would ever cross those lines and if it happened it would not be tolerated. We respect players equally, male or female.

I feel like im a little late to this topic and im just gonna be saying the same thing everyone else has said but yeah if your having that issue in your own guild then your definitely in the wrong guild. I am a very successful female guild master and we have several couples in our guild and we all treat eachother equally no matter sex or even game experience or ability. I think this is a matter of respect that is lost on the newer generations. Take a look on the forums for another guild that may better fit your needs.

As for if this is Anets fault lol. Im sorry if im being blunt but thats just silly. How is Anet supposed to be able to police every aspect of how people treat eachother in thier game? If you have any specific examples of someone harassing you or being verbally abusive in chat you are able to report them with the report function. Otherwise you are responsible for your own actions and so is everyone else. Anet is not.

As a female gamer myself, I haven’t ever encountered the problem you’re describing in GW2. And, I use TeamSpeak all the time, so it’s not as if my guildies don’t know that I’m a girl. There are only three female members including myself in my guild, but we have never felt disrespected by anyone. In fact, one of us is a guild officer.

I actually find “gender tropes” to be quite humourous at times. If you take the jokes in stride and aren’t so combative, people will have nothing to make fun of you for.

Loosen up a bit, don’t act so defensive about your gender, and find yourself a sense of humour (or a more mature crowd to play with).

Yes…misogyny is amusingly funny.

“stop being so sensitive” is the ultimate response; well done. Yes, I should be complacent in what is clearly wrong.

“As for if this is Anets fault lol. Im sorry if im being blunt but thats just silly. How is Anet supposed to be able to police every aspect of how people treat eachother in thier game?” So in your logic the problem is so big that the company who designs, runs, monitors and owns the virtual word can’t possibly do anything about it. At the same time, I should pretend it doesn’t exist and not bother to bring it up on a public forum.

Obviously I switch guilds, servers, etc. But, that’s a wonderful strawman response btw.

‘report them’: i do. shall i also have to record every game to pick up whatever is going on in voip, then post every game to youtube as well? how about I start a forum thread where this can be discussed instead?

I have been in several guilds with plenty of fine men and women: and I have been in guilds (which I joined for non-social reasons) where the attitude displayed against the women in the guild was atrocious and thus I left, as did any self-respecting women.

That when this topic is brought up, the general response, of “sorry deal with it” is not acceptable. It’s reminiscent of doctors treating 1950s housewives for ‘hysteria’ with Valium.

And it is posts like this one that let other female gamers who experience this or have experienced this know that they are not alone. This post is for me and for them. And considering the amount of PMs I have received there are quite a lot of us.

And this is not about ‘my’ guild, the moderator moved this topic here for some reason. This applies to dungeon runs, WvW squads, sPvP teams and opponents, chat box and VOIP—you know, interaction in general.

That a statement that this conduct simply exists generates so much opposition (yet secret affirmation) shows how ingrained the issue is. Why sweep it under the rug? Talking about it does not in fact make it worse; it sheds light, which is never a bad thing.

Wow. You are a ray of sunshine. I think your problem is not that your a female but how you treat other people who are only trying to help you.

@ Llunatic i don’t think your minimizing post was meant to ‘help’ in anyway shape or form and I believe you are well aware of that. It’s an ugly topic; should I therefore be sanguine about it?

lol well i was actually trying to help. Helping does not always mean agreeing with your every word. I can understand your frustration completely, but i just think youre pointing fingers at the wrong people. Its like saying its McDonalds fault for someones weight gain because they eat thier food every day. They can choose not to but they do it anyway.

I really do wish you all the best of luck in finding your safehaven. I really do think that the best thing for you to do is find a group of gamers that you can really connect with and dont treat you differently because your female so you can ignore everyone else and just enjoy the game with the people you enjoy spending your time with.
’
There really are 1000s of guilds in GW2 and each of them is a little different. Take a look on the guildwars2guilds.org site and keep an eye in this section of the forums. Im sure youll find one that fits what you want.

We have some girls in our guild and love them. I know some WvW great commanders who are girls and are very popular on our server. Just consider changing your attitude to people or people whom you are paying attention to.

LLunatic.5280:

lol well i was actually trying to help. Helping does not always mean agreeing with your every word. I can understand your frustration completely, but i just think youre pointing fingers at the wrong people. Its like saying its McDonalds fault for someones weight gain because they eat thier food every day. They can choose not to but they do it anyway.

I really do wish you all the best of luck in finding your safehaven. I really do think that the best thing for you to do is find a group of gamers that you can really connect with and dont treat you differently because your female so you can ignore everyone else and just enjoy the game with the people you enjoy spending your time with.
’
There really are 1000s of guilds in GW2 and each of them is a little different. Take a look on the guildwars2guilds.org site and keep an eye in this section of the forums. Im sure youll find one that fits what you want.

@ LLunatic I really appreciate your follow up. And it is of course your prerogative to have your own view point—we don’t have to agree on everything, obviously.

I will take what you said to heart and I am very carefully, very slowly researching servers and guilds—again. This time I will be beyond cautious.

It’s all a bit overwhelming, honestly; I have been traversing through servers and guilds since pre-release. Should it be so difficult to find a guild that has a. competitive players (sPvP & WvW, even high level dungeoneering) b. respects ALL their members c. has a significant female representation (30% or higher) d. doesn’t die off in a month or 2? It’s enough to make one just want to give up the game completely. 1000s of guilds, but searching for a needle in a haystack.

In any case, your response is appreciated. If I misunderstood you—or simply disagree with a bit of what you said—which is my prerogative, the clear integrity in your latest note overrides that completely. And no, I am not being ironic.

Valess

Veim.5948:

We have some girls in our guild and love them. I know some WvW great commanders who are girls and are very popular on our server. Just consider changing your attitude to people or people whom you are paying attention to.

Knowing “some girls” in your guild or knowing of WvW commanders that are women is not a valid response to the issue of how not an insubstantial number of women are treated in this game.

Your argument is analogous to: “I know this homeless guy in my neighborhood; he loves being homeless. Therefore , all homeless individuals are happy about their situation”

Perhaps those unhappy homeless should change their attitude about their situation as well and all will be good.

I am happy for constructive comments, but yelling “same as it ever was” louder and louder is not constructive to the conversation—and yes this is meant to be a conversation, not an auto-generator for a series of ad hominem attacks or responses, which comments regarding ‘my attitude’, ‘my sensitivity’…my, my etc, all fall under. Yes, as I have said before, it’s not just about me.

I guess I’m lucky because I haven’t had many experiences like this. My guild is great to me and our other female members but we’d probably be a little too casual for your liking. Good luck in finding the right group of people :/

rozcinana.7249:

I guess I’m lucky because I haven’t had many experiences like this. My guild is great to me and our other female members but we’d probably be a little too casual for your liking. Good luck in finding the right group of people :/

Thanks for your response. I’m actually really glad you haven’t had to deal with this, and you may have actually hit the nail on the head a bit: I have yet to find a ‘competitive guild’ where this issue hasn’t come up. I’ve been in wonderful casual guilds. Some of them died out unfortunately. Some of them I left because no one was interested in competitive play. All the competitive guilds I was in were completely male-dominated; and not that everyone in those guilds was a horrible person—obviously—they weren’t. But there was definitely a siege-mentality where a lot of stuff was allowed to go on that really shouldn’t have—in my opinion at least, and apparently any other women, since there weren’t any or maybe there was still one. There’s got to be a happy medium somewhere.

In any case, thanks for sharing, you’ve made a good point.

I’d say you just need to find better company. There is no reason for anyone to put up with bs like that. A more mature guild might help, perhaps?

Raf.1078:

I’d say you just need to find better company. There is no reason for anyone to put up with bs like that. A more mature guild might help, perhaps?

No..you’re absolutely right. I agree…a more mature guild indeed. Now I just have to find this guild (sigh). Thanks for the input though.

Ok well you probably do need a different guild if it happens in you guild chat or talk with some one about it. As for it happening in dungeon runs with a pug group, if I die a lot cause of someone doing something stupid I get a little upset but our guild usually runs together now and everyone knows their role and it goes smother. I would let you try out our guild if you want, we do joke around a lot and make fun of everyone but it is in good fun and if some one had a problem and they said something to me about it we would try to resolve it, and if it couldn’t be resolved we would take a vote and probably kick the offender.

whipboot.3058:

LLunatic.5280:

lol well i was actually trying to help. Helping does not always mean agreeing with your every word. I can understand your frustration completely, but i just think youre pointing fingers at the wrong people. Its like saying its McDonalds fault for someones weight gain because they eat thier food every day. They can choose not to but they do it anyway.

I really do wish you all the best of luck in finding your safehaven. I really do think that the best thing for you to do is find a group of gamers that you can really connect with and dont treat you differently because your female so you can ignore everyone else and just enjoy the game with the people you enjoy spending your time with.
’
There really are 1000s of guilds in GW2 and each of them is a little different. Take a look on the guildwars2guilds.org site and keep an eye in this section of the forums. Im sure youll find one that fits what you want.

@ LLunatic I really appreciate your follow up. And it is of course your prerogative to have your own view point—we don’t have to agree on everything, obviously.

I will take what you said to heart and I am very carefully, very slowly researching servers and guilds—again. This time I will be beyond cautious.

It’s all a bit overwhelming, honestly; I have been traversing through servers and guilds since pre-release. Should it be so difficult to find a guild that has a. competitive players (sPvP & WvW, even high level dungeoneering) b. respects ALL their members c. has a significant female representation (30% or higher) d. doesn’t die off in a month or 2? It’s enough to make one just want to give up the game completely. 1000s of guilds, but searching for a needle in a haystack.

In any case, your response is appreciated. If I misunderstood you—or simply disagree with a bit of what you said—which is my prerogative, the clear integrity in your latest note overrides that completely. And no, I am not being ironic.

Valess

Im glad you see that i was actually trying to help lol. I know it can be tough sometimes to get the general “tone” of someones words in text alone. Seems you are already well on your way to making the changes you need to start enjoying the game again. For this i am very glad. Dont give up hope. Your request is a tall one indeed (especially since your right, most competitive players are male) but im sure youll find something that fits the bill. Just dont be afraid to try things out. Sometimes you just dont know till you try

LLunatic.5280:

whipboot.3058:

LLunatic.5280:

lol well i was actually trying to help. Helping does not always mean agreeing with your every word. I can understand your frustration completely, but i just think youre pointing fingers at the wrong people. Its like saying its McDonalds fault for someones weight gain because they eat thier food every day. They can choose not to but they do it anyway.

I really do wish you all the best of luck in finding your safehaven. I really do think that the best thing for you to do is find a group of gamers that you can really connect with and dont treat you differently because your female so you can ignore everyone else and just enjoy the game with the people you enjoy spending your time with.
’
There really are 1000s of guilds in GW2 and each of them is a little different. Take a look on the guildwars2guilds.org site and keep an eye in this section of the forums. Im sure youll find one that fits what you want.

@ LLunatic I really appreciate your follow up. And it is of course your prerogative to have your own view point—we don’t have to agree on everything, obviously.

I will take what you said to heart and I am very carefully, very slowly researching servers and guilds—again. This time I will be beyond cautious.

It’s all a bit overwhelming, honestly; I have been traversing through servers and guilds since pre-release. Should it be so difficult to find a guild that has a. competitive players (sPvP & WvW, even high level dungeoneering) b. respects ALL their members c. has a significant female representation (30% or higher) d. doesn’t die off in a month or 2? It’s enough to make one just want to give up the game completely. 1000s of guilds, but searching for a needle in a haystack.

In any case, your response is appreciated. If I misunderstood you—or simply disagree with a bit of what you said—which is my prerogative, the clear integrity in your latest note overrides that completely. And no, I am not being ironic.

Valess

Im glad you see that i was actually trying to help lol. I know it can be tough sometimes to get the general “tone” of someones words in text alone. Seems you are already well on your way to making the changes you need to start enjoying the game again. For this i am very glad. Dont give up hope. Your request is a tall one indeed (especially since your right, most competitive players are male) but im sure youll find something that fits the bill. Just dont be afraid to try things out. Sometimes you just dont know till you try

Well said, thanks and +1

I think the original poster is right. I’m not sure there’s an easy change to the culture though. It’s prevalent across the internet and I often read worse things in response to a basic women’s sport report than I do GW2. Any offenders will have no respect for anyone who tells them their behavior is wrong.

Stooperdale.3560:

I think the original poster is right. I’m not sure there’s an easy change to the culture though. It’s prevalent across the internet and I often read worse things in response to a basic women’s sport report than I do GW2. Any offenders will have no respect for anyone who tells them their behavior is wrong.

I appreciate your contribution; you are absolutely correct when you say there is no easy change, undoubtedly. My personal correspondence with an entity closely related to this product that I am prohibited from naming itself describes this problem we are discussing as “pervasive and persistent.” So yes, it is prevalent as you say.

I believe what you say. I don’t follow women’s competitive sports but I can only imagine what is said. The trick here is this is a ‘virtual world’, where we are all together. It’s not gender segregated. However, the illusion of anonymity that the online world provides creates situations where ‘water seeks its own level’—and thus bias unfolds. However, the key difference is—opposed to the entire internet—this is a virtual world that was created not by evolution or providence or eons of history or even for an entire planet to use; it was made by humans, for an infinitesimally small ratio of humans in fact, and is controlled by humans; it is bound in rules and law and code by design. What is deemed important can actually be made important via the users themselves, those who watch code, or those who simply make pamphlet speeches like this one. If 3rd party voip is a problem incorporate 1st party voip like many mmos are doing—reporting easily solved. I normally deal with the creation of autonomous machines and control; i suppose I find it simplistic to deal with containing a model world of one’s own design. Yet, it is quantitative. It simply costs less to let it slide; we all know that energy persists, though attaining it is tricky, and where you expend it is paramount. However, human factors research extends decades. But I digress.

But—and this is a large but—if we in the community say that we believe this is a problem, would like to address it, or even acknowledge it, then we are taking at least a small step at diffusing the status quo. It might even become a priority. I think several suggestions already made are in that direction—at least they acknowledge the current state of affairs; at least this forum post actually simply exists. Would I love to see a dev piece regarding this? Absolutely. Unfortunately the TOS of the forums make it almost impossible to directly interact in such a fashion. Believe me. I have been made well aware.

At the moment, the solution appears to be ‘find your safe haven’. While I don’t very much like the idea of ghettos, it’s the only logical approach until the landscape shifts.

In any case, your contribution is appreciated much.

Valess

I didn’t notice anyone else mention it but, there is another option; start your own guild. It can be a lot of work but, it can be very rewarding as well.

I have run into the “woman” issue forever; in jobs, “Oh you’re a manager?” click; in games, “Girls don’t play, just guys who lie.” and so on. And on and on…

When I read one of the comments that suggested you not bring being female up at all, I had to cringe. That just reminded me of trying to change my pronouns to hide the fact that I am a lesbian just because it might make someone uncomfortable. Pretending to be something I’m not makes ME uncomfortable.

Being a woman who games is who you are and trying to hide that from anyone is just ridiculous. You couldn’t and still be on Voice chat anyway. Well, I take that back, you actually can… for a while I had a guild who thought I was a young boy, but I digress lol.

Keep looking, you have a good handle on what you need and, if your research doesn’t pay off, seriously consider becoming a guild leader and paving the way for other competitive women. You never know who (women and men) might be interested in just what you have to offer. Don’t move to the “ghetto” as you said, build your dream house.

myenchantedlife.3729:

I didn’t notice anyone else mention it but, there is another option; start your own guild. It can be a lot of work but, it can be very rewarding as well.

I have run into the “woman” issue forever; in jobs, “Oh you’re a manager?” click; in games, “Girls don’t play, just guys who lie.” and so on. And on and on…

When I read one of the comments that suggested you not bring being female up at all, I had to cringe. That just reminded me of trying to change my pronouns to hide the fact that I am a lesbian just because it might make someone uncomfortable. Pretending to be something I’m not makes ME uncomfortable.

Being a woman who games is who you are and trying to hide that from anyone is just ridiculous. You couldn’t and still be on Voice chat anyway. Well, I take that back, you actually can… for a while I had a guild who thought I was a young boy, but I digress lol.

Keep looking, you have a good handle on what you need and, if your research doesn’t pay off, seriously consider becoming a guild leader and paving the way for other competitive women. You never know who (women and men) might be interested in just what you have to offer. Don’t move to the “ghetto” as you said, build your dream house.

I’m totally with you. I built OPS from the ground up. I made the mistake of having a guild leader who just went IMA. So I recruited like crazy and built a wonderful website (now dead), mumble etc…. and it was dead in 3 months. Blargh. But your vigor is totally right. It is a TON of work to build that dream house; unfortunately, I have a job

Yeah, that was a really offensive comment. I can’t believe I was infracted for starting this thread yet that comment remains; ridiculous. It’s as if we are speaking a foreign language, which in a way we are, since the majority doesn’t care what we say. I’m really sorry you had that experience, but unfortunately, it is awfully familiar. Very early on in the game a player demanded to know whether i was ‘really a girl"—in chat. He was perplexed why that question was offensive. Do I need to show my passport to verify my gender? Later on in voip, where it was obvious, it didn’t get any better. Simply more dismissive.

I guess at this point I’m a bit burnt out and I see no support from the powers that be. I’ll be back in a month or so unless ES-5 or Neverwinter doesn’t take me away. I always liked GW. But at this moment it’s not worth it.. As you say..running a guild is a crazy amount of work. I know. I’ve done it. But also a good suggestion. I’d like more systemic / engagement / interventions from those who shall not be named; and they are needed. I’ll (I’ve)post(ed) here, on twitter, on youtube, and where ever else I like on the state of this conversation. It’s not going away. I won’t let it.

And lastly: you are awesome and thank you for your suggestions and support

Valess

Hi everyone,

Whipboot, if you feel that someone is being “unpolite” – so as to speak – with you, either by making jokes that offend you or any kind of female-despecting forms you can report them, either with the in game report tool or, if you can provide evidence such as screenshots, you can report them to the CS team (http://en.support.guildwars2.com/).

We’d like to thank everyone who has supported this player and helped her with this issue. Remember that we need you all to create a good enviroment in the gameThanks for posting.

Moderator.1462:

Hi everyone,

Whipboot, if you feel that someone is being “unpolite” – so as to speak – with you, either by making jokes that offend you or any kind of female-despecting forms you can report them, either with the in game report tool or, if you can provide evidence such as screenshots, you can report them to the CS team (http://en.support.guildwars2.com/).

We’d like to thank everyone who has supported this player and helped her with this issue. Remember that we need you all to create a good enviroment in the gameThanks for posting.

Firstly, I’d like to thank your involvement. I know I have communicated with several community team members but it is welcome to see you post on the forum. Thank you—really. That you are listening is welcoming. I appreciate it; however I truly hope you understand that the topic scope goes beyond ‘this player’ —as it absolutely does, based on the forums responses and the PMs, emails, etc I have received--to many other female players. And to be truly honest, ‘unpolite’ is a massive understatement.

I know via TOS I cannot address ’you" directly but within this thread there are many, many fine comments and fine suggestions regarding this issue. I hope you take them to heart, take them to your team, and work them as a problem to be solved, as I have taken to heart the thoughtful, caring and empathetic replies of the community.

The ‘ghetto’ regulation of competitive female players that choose not to endure abuse is particularly problematic. Where are we to go? As the thread has shown, most high-end guilds are male dominated; they are not particularly welcoming to women and the level of respect is not particularly high. This is not an insignificant issue.

This goes beyond ’unpolite" discourse as you say; it is a “persistent and pervasive” mindset as one of your senior staff has called it.

Again, your reporting system is widely known,. Yet it is not exactly welcome to report other players on your team—it is often simply a means of instant ejection from a squad or team, server transfers are extraordinarily expensive, and it leaves out all voip interaction as I have already stated. (See suggestion of 1st person voip interface above i.e. Neverwinter etc.)

I truly, truly, sincerely appreciate your stepping in, but a more comprehensive approach is really needed. This is a serious aspect of your virtual environment and the guild system itself, the dis-proportionality of male players, the treatment of the gender minority, the comfort level of female players and safe places to speak is paramount to a healthy gaming community. And note well that the gaming spectrum is rapidly changing, the demographics as well. There are many woman gamers and they will go where they feel welcome and listened to—plain and simple.

Thank you for taking the time to reply and acknowledge; I hope that this continues into a generative dialogue that resolves some of these problems for any female—or minority player—that is feeling left out of the social net.

Best,

Valess

Hey Valess-

I’d like to turn this question around on you: I’m a guy who tries to avoid making online games an uncomfortable place for women. I don’t go out of my way to do anything special… I just try to treat EVERYBODY with respect, regardless of race, gender, sexuality, etc.

I assume a lot of folks are like me, but it’s seemingly not enough.

So… what can I do to help the situation? I’ve had this conversation with my girlfriend, but it tends to get a little uncomfortable because of our relationship. She expects me to confront everybody about their behavior, but that seems pretty serious.

That said, I’m thinking maybe there’s no other way? I just had my first experience this afternoon of telling somebody on mapchat that kitten jokes aren’t funny… let’s say it ended with him tossing insults my way and me blocking him.

Are you looking for guys to stop being kitten or to actively police other guys? And do you think it’d work? (Again, I’m asking out of curiosity because I haven’t had much luck having a non-heated conversation about this with my lady.)

Honestly I think it’s mostly guys flirting.

In my experience if I hear a girl get on the mic in some game, it is always one of two things. Either I notice that like 20 people joined the server before her and nobody greeted anyone, yet this girl joines and suddenly she gets 5 guys saying ‘hi’ to her and then they start talking about casual stuff like “how was your day”, and these people don’t know each other at all.
OR
someone just insults her out of the blue.

Both of which I think are attempts at flirtation.

There really aren’t that many guys out there who just hate females for no reason I assure you, so that’s not what’s happening to you. It’s not genuine hate, it’s just guys wanting to flirt with you, but knowing they can’t just openly do that without looking desperate by trying to pick up chicks on a video game.
So they resort to the next best thing, just doing whatever they can to stand out to you, unfortunately a lot of guys do this with insults and rudeness.

It’s the same reason guys are jerks to girls at a club or something, it’s actually like an instinct, and they think it’ll get you to notice them more.

Wish I had a solution for you but I don’t. But, maybe it’ll help you to understand why they do it a little better.
Guys like that really kitten me off too. Don’t let the minority ruin your opinion of the rest of us.

Well, it would appear after reading all of the responses on her part and other suggestions, this subject matter really hasn’t gotten anywhere. So I’ll state what I am about to state as a suggestive manor only and likely have no further input into this subject further.

For Everyone; Treating others the way you wish to be treated is a quality everyone should have. However, as sad and truthful as it is, most do not. In online games it seems further prevalent that the opposite exists. Folks seem to think because its online or a video game, general social etiquette and respect need not apply. When someone is blasting off stupid offensive jokes, phrases or general nonsense it’s best to just silently report the person. Stating your opinion to them openly, generally only adds fuel to the fire and allows them to singularly target you. Is it really worth your time to waste talking to a wall? Okay, then don’t.

To Whipboot; My point previously was in order for one to gain respect they have to give respect. Some folks don’t care about respect from others. They don’t even respect themselves. And I just don’t see why, for any reason, if you are respectful of others in sPvP, WvW or PvE in general that anyone would singularly target you. Then bash you because you are a girl. But gauging the way you even have started to handle the situation, with all of your “I’ll kick your face in with my eyes closed every day and twice on Sunday because I am better than you!” talk, leads one to potentially think you may have some part in “egging” it on.

Listen, as stated before, you do not have to put up with anyone treating you badly or disrespecting you. Nor should you necessarily take it either. Again, if you are putting yourself out there to be targeted, guess what? You probably will be. Apparently, the people you ventrilo, teamspeak or mumble with are a bunch of adolescent immature boys. Not real men who know how to respect a woman. Sadly, all PvP in any game caters to a more immature mentality of a player base. That is just facts of any game. Ever heard voice chat on Call of Duty? 30 year old men are less mature than 10 year old boys sometimes.

I presented you with your options. Stop playing with idiots with no self respect, let alone a lack of respect for women in general (you). Find a good guild of self respecting adults that won’t tolerate such nonsense. And lastly, stop putting yourself out there with crowds that won’t be respectful towards you. When you encounter those sad individuals, just report them and move on. It isn’t worth you wasting any fingers or breath on.

To that point, many females posted here that have never encountered such a thing. So what is it exactly that you are doing differently than they are? I can assure you, that if you are provoking the boys by the way you spoke in your original post, they won’t receive you the way you’d like. Would I expect anything better if I did the same thing? Hate harbors more hate and will receive hate in return. Try a different approach with people in general and don’t jump every time they use profane language, derogatory towards women. That’s just general social failure which exists in society. And stay off of voice chat with young boys (mentally).

One last bit of advice, if you ignore stupid idiots, they eventually realize their efforts are worthless and will go away. They’re happier finding someone to give that attention they desire, negative or not. I wish you the best of luck having a better time enjoying the game.

Best,
Vancien

whipboot.3058:

And lastly: you are awesome

Pffft… Well Yeah!

But seriously, I was thinking about your situation and wondered if someone had made an online community for women gamers. Some sort of hub where we can find information on which games, along with their servers and guilds, that are “safe” places for women players. Perhaps even include advice on how to handle and diffuse abusive players, I’m sure we all could, collectively, think of a lot of different things to include.

When I did a search I saw various attempts at the topic in general but, most were blog posts and news articles, nothing like what I am proposing. I am curious if there is any interest or need for this type of site or, would this perpetuate the illusion that we are somehow different from the male gamers.

Thoughts anyone?

I am truly sorry for the experiences you have had. Now, being a female myself, I totally know how it feels.

As to myenchantedlife’s comment above, there are a few communities around. Now, not to sound like I’m pushin’ my clan or anything, but I do feel that the clan that I am in is a good example of Girls Kicking A** (of coz I am not trying to be rude here)

If you do want people to talk to, about this game or any game really… gaming in general, or meeting gals who game and guys who will not give you grief over the fact you are a gamer – you hop to the PMS clan site (www.pmsclan.com)

Now, I am sure there are other communities out there too, Google might be ur best friend on this one.

Hugs,
PMS RevX

Boohoo.

It’s the internet, stop making us Females look weak and maybe you will stop being made fun of.

Shouldn’t matter your gender/ethnicity/etc in these games but some people are just jerks, sadly. Try finding a group of like minded people to play with if at all possible (I say the possible bit because if nobody you know in RL plays, it can be annoying to sift through the jerks in cyber space to find cool people).

Just my opinion ive seen more girls highend pvp, arena raiding you name it, thats been better then guy’s most ppl go in the pack aint bad/good etc but the ppl that stick out the girls seems to be better

(im a guy)

As this topic has run it’s course, it is being locked. Thank you for contributing.