Guild Wars 2

“How does a Dwarf sleep?
LIKE A ROCK!!”

“I just flew in from the Underworld.
Boy are my arms tired!”

Anyone else hear stupid/funny jokes from that Mad King costume?

Like a stone.

……

What has more lives than a cat? A hylek. They croak many times a day.

Ever heard the one about the Asura who had lots of friends? Ha! Me neither!

I once met a Norn so stubborn, I swear he followed the spirit of kitten. (It will probably “kitten” the last word which is funny because it says it in game. Anyway, if it does, it means donkey.)

wow those are bad..

those jokes are exactly why i am going to buy gems and buy that costume.

I guess the Mad King hasn’t gained his sense of humor in 250 years

“How many asura does it take to change a lightbulb”
“Three. One to change it, and two to tell him how’d they’d have done it better”

(Paraphrased)
“How do you escape an elder dragon?”
“Just make sure you’re running faster than Snaff”

They are so good. This costume is fabulous.

There is a reason for that dwarf/stone joke easily explained through Guild Wars lore. If you played GW1 you should know that all of the dwarfs sacrificed themselves to defeat the Great Destroyer by invoking an ancient spell and turning themselves into stone. Cogito ergo boom… Dwarf → stone

Ryuujin.8236:

“How do you escape an elder dragon?”
“Just make sure you’re running faster than Snaff”

This one is both hilarious and wrong at the same time. Zojja would not be happy. :P

‘’Have you heard about the Asura and his friends? Neither have I!’’

- or something like that.

I think it’s just cool how the vanity items have additional benefits. I haven’t seen this type of feature in any other game.

It took me FOREVER to realize that those jokes were coming from the costume. I didn’t figure out until I actually bought the costume myself and started using the costume brawl abilities. I kept wandering around Lion’s Arch look for a TV with a random floating head telling jokes, ’cause the weird static/radio-y sound of the voice made me think of that.

I personally love the jokes! Cracks me up. Especially how the ‘daze’ the enemy in Costume Brawl. :P

Tsk… they should have used some of mine, like:
- Why did the Charr cross the Great Wall? To BURN the other side.

Prepare for more bad jokes on the 31st. If you’re new to Guild Wars bad jokes are pretty much the Mad King’s Modus Operandi.

Paraphrased:
“What`s the difference between a Norn & an Asuran?”
“About six foot.”

Tee-hee!

I think the whole point of that skills is to tell a very bad joke :P hence why it dazes and knocks people out.

“How do you escape an elder dragon?”
“Just make sure you’re running faster than Snaff”

Lol that one was a cruel joke xD

No wonder he was killed by his own subjects.

I actually laughed at some of them)

they are glorious. i went for the witch’s costume, so i made sure to tell all my friends to buy the mad king’s costume instead :P

“Why do adventurers keep their boots on when they die?
So they don’t stub their toes when they kick the BUCKET!!”

Wow.

The fact these jokes are so bad, is what makes it great IMO.

I have to admit though..after this event my charr will be repeating the Snaff joke to all the annoying asura she finds

in GW1 the Mad King was known for bad Jokes therefore it would make since for the skill to tell bad jokes since your dress up as him

“Guess even 250 years later, humans are still -blind- to Kormir’s rep.”

“It’s a shame what happened to Tybalt. But at least he still showed a few Risen them apples.”

“What kind of meat would you look out for at the Black Citadel? Something Charr-broiled.”

For anyone unfamiliar with Mad King Thorn’s sense of humor way back when, here is a link to a challenge mission in GW1: http://wiki.guildwars.com/wiki/Scarred_Psyche

There is some very good banter back and forth between him and Palawa Joko.

funny I have my game with french audio and they sound really just as bad. I thought it was just wrong traduction, but seeing from the post above I realize it’s not. haha.

There is one that goes somewhat like this too, " I don’t know what is worse, being crazy like the mad King, or being stuck in his underwear." It’s not exactly what it says but ya I was like… what did he just say?

God …. i love this costume it is sooo freaking amazing!

L.A. -> “Cub” near the action house screaming: “It’s Howler…Holla..IT’S CANDY DAY!”
Proof that ANet is watching My Little Pony…….

“How do you know when a charr likes you?
He asks for seconds.”

“All doors are glitched in Gendarran Fields” Oh, wait, this isn’t a joke :/

Okay here’s two that should have made the Mad King’s list.

1.) What do you call a necromancer that can’t keep her hands off of Professor Yakkkington ?

A necrofeelayak

2.) What’s the Sylvari’s version of immaculate conception ?

Miracle grow

• How are a Paragon and a drunkard alike?
  - Both like to shout at strangers and run around without any pants.

• Why do the Norn “Become the Bear?”"
  – Because “Become the Arrogant Loudmouth” was already taken by the Asura.

*What’s the difference between Lazarus the Dire and Kormir?
– One never got what they deserved and the other never deserved what they got.

There’s a theory about bad jokes being better than good ones:

bad jokes create a shared feeling of ‘kittenhat was awfull’ which brings the group closer together. Simply because ALL think it’s lame or silly at least.

Good jokes are sometimes not understood, or not appreciated by all and cause more seperation. Especially by singling out the joke teller.

Throwing that in here, while reading these rather awfull jokes

Sernius Alathar.6538:

*

• Why do the Norn “Become the Bear?”"
  – Because “Become the Arrogant Loudmouth” was already taken by the Asura.

I never got that one!

I heard it and was trying to figure out what the hell the asura became…

He became the Arrow Ganthlumath? What’s that, some legendary living arrow?
The Aarugh antler wath? Some ancient predecessor of deer?

Whatever, I simply couldn’t make it out in the noise.

Ha, I love the cheesey jokes. This is why twitter is great:

https://twitter.com/TheRealMadKing

BowmasterSol.3457:

For anyone unfamiliar with Mad King Thorn’s sense of humor way back when, here is a link to a challenge mission in GW1: http://wiki.guildwars.com/wiki/Scarred_Psyche

There is some very good banter back and forth between him and Palawa Joko.

Some of those are ingenious. Especially the chamber pot insult.

“What’s the difference between a corpse and someone who doesn’t laugh at my jokes? I don’t know either.”

What did the Risen say to the homeless person?
“EVERYONE. BUM.”

A Norn, an inventor, a drunk, and a marksman enter a pub.
He has a drink.

How many Risen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they pull everyone else towards it.

I cant recall it exactly, but I’ll paraphrase:
“I almost joined Destiny’s Edge once, but in stead of saying “Kill a dragon” I thought they said “Fill a wagon” so I slipped out the back door."

More bad jokes please.

“When I bought my clock tower the real estate agent said people would be dying to look inside.”

Naga-loving son a of a grawl…

It’s not meant to be comedy gold, it’s funny because it’s not that funny, if you catch my drift.

“How do you mend a Jack-O-Lantern?
With a pumpkin patch!”

LOLOLOLOL~

I laughed pretty hard at many of these jokes. Corny—get it?—is my thing!

You guys need to lighten up.