Guild Wars 2

They call me T-Tizzy, the best of the norn race
As Bear as my witness, my legend sets the pace
I’ve traveled ’round the world, from Hoelbrak down to Orr
Zhaitan is a sissy, that battle was a bore

I’ve snapped the sylvari, I’ve conquered charr machines
I’ve shattered mighty golems, and laughed at human queens
I’ve gathered wealth and treasures, my guild mates can attest
Just check out this sword or the armor on my chest

My lyrics are so strong, they’ll put you in yo place
Like dredge through a mountain, they’ll carve into yo face
I’m hung like an auroch, my biceps span the sky
And when I drink at moots, I leave every keg dry

There’s none that can best me, I’m fit from head to spleen
All the ladies love it when I roll on the scene
If you ever cross me, these words ring loud and true
Making this norn angry is the last thing that you’ll do

Word
((and then he folds his arms and slumps back like the rappers do, as if trying to say “what you got, that’s right you ain’t got nothin’ on this, nothin’”))

Primordius woke in sev’n’y eight
My ancestors thought that he should wait
Like a real norn’s norn my blood is strong
Zhaitan’s a threat? Ha ha, not for long!

I’m best in the world at what I do
I’ve slain enough beasts to fill a zoo
Minotaur is better thanks to me
And Bear is as proud as she can be

I chopped Issormir back down to size
And broke ettin backs upon my thighs
The Risen were tough, but not for me
I threw their bodies back in the sea

Zhaitan tried, but he was out of luck
I turned his brains into oozing muck
And with that blow I became a god
Destiny’s Edge stood silent and awed

Despite my fame, I’ll admit to you
There’s one last conquest left in my queue
My legend’s too great to find a wife
But with feats like mine? I’m set for life

((and then he looks away, puts on his manliest, stoic-ist face and sheds a single manly tear for the thousands of women that are beneath his legend))

Ask any Skaald in Frostgorge and you’ll hear my name
Sword, shield and claymore are my claims to fame
I wear the blood of Risen like woad and paint
They’ll tell you all about me: Andreux Sainte!

I’m an eight foot warrior straight outta Hoelbrak
One wrong move and I’ll put you in a hole, bruh
Short hair, thick beard, muscles like a dolyak
I’m bold in the cold and I’m bringin’ the goal back

I got four-hundred weaponsmithing and it’s hella great
Armorsmithing too, son; my briefs are made of plate
Thirty points into Berserker so I get wicked mean
Drinkin’ outta kegs like they’re just canteens

Up in Fort T with my boy Trahearne
You wanna see a Warrior, watch and learn
Slaughter zombie dragons like it’s nothing new
My feats are elite and my fleets are Norn too

Showed the Mouth some famishing, the Eye some vision damaging
The dragon got a ravaging, I even started managing the
Frontline which was maddening cause everyone was panicking
But I’m a Sainte so pack your things cause victory is happening

((drops greatsword like a microphone, stares unsettlingly))

You know it’s hard out here for a |P || |V| |P,
When he’s trying to get the money for the rent…
When the Cadillac and gas money’s spent…
Got a whole lot of kittens jumping ship.

Cut down Issormir, now I’m to be revered
Justly named Slayer, the great wurm-flayer
A mighty ranger on the map, nothing escapes my traps
Or my wolf Nymeria, the best in all of Tyria
Often snatching Grawl in her frosty maul
Stained crimson by the kill, let her have it still

Defending Hoelbrak every night
While screaming, “Might makes me right!”
Putting arrows in flight at any who cause plight
So don’t let me catch you in my sight
Offering this simple phrase to those who would be praised
“I am awesome!”, as if my spirits needed to be raised.

You know being big don’t make you dumb
This Norn engineer’s as smart as they come
King-sized turrets must be something to fear,
Flame,rocket,nets, and healing are all standard gear.

Playing it cool, surrounded by Sons of Svanir
I just call for a supply drop, And I’ll be grinning ear-to-ear.
Limited weapons and no swapping don’t bother me much,
When you can access to Flamethrowers, grenades, mines, and such

Huntsman’s a good craft for me and my spouse.
My guns are loud, her bows; quiet as a mouse.
I blast our enemies, Her bear eats their face
This couple is the pride of the whole Norn race.

I was born in the land of the frozen North
Where we grew up fast and we grew up coarse
So I’m a bit of a slob and a bit of a brute
I get real mean when I miss the moot

But don’t let that fool you- I’m a kind guy
The kind who gets plastered and tries to fly
But Raven wouldn’t have me, Wolfguard tried to stab me
Leopards make me sneeze, and that fur is pretty shabby
So I turned to the last one that I could
…
All alone in the middle of the wood
…
She stood tall and proud and her roar was loud
I thought she meant to kill me but then she calmed down
Pawed on over and sat on the ground
Calm eyes stared into my soul without a sound

She welcomed me into her heart as a son
Ask about my mother and I’ll tell you she’s the only one

Bear was there for me, she loved and cared for me
Taught me to hunt and said her prayer for me
So on the day that I left I was sure to let her know that my legend was gonna grow
Now I leave my mark on the people, land and snow
It’s for her that I beat back every foe

In west Hoelbrak t’was born and raised
On the keg grounds is where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, remembrin to hit ‘dodge’
And brawlin’ with some kegs, out side the Lodge
When a gang of ugly Charr, who were lazy-old slobs
Started makin trouble in a city free of mobs,
I got in one big fight and Mom told me to “March!”
And that’s how I ended up livin’ in Lion’s Arch.