WARNING: The following topic contains a lot of spoilers, I won’t hide them all so this is the forewarning.
I’m sorry Anet but what happened? While the personal stories start off by throwing you in at the deep end you soon gather yourself up and get involved. Your chosen race of hero starts to befriend you and you feel like you are a part of something growing. Then the orders come into play and you excite us with the possibility of learning of the orders and their secrets, finally letting us join one and pleasing us immensely. Then, the inevitable. You get introduced to your buddy fairly soon and your initial friend is soon forgotten about, never to be heard of again. While I can forgive the fact that your buddy gets overly friendly with you from the get-go, I believe Seiran was a PG rating from humping my virtual leg.
The first step in your destruction of the personal story is the speed of your advancement. I met my buddy, helped the skritt for a quest or two and then was promoted to the highest rank of the order? Surely the quests helping the skritt could be considered only 1 mission by the order, I must have done a real good job, is the rest of the order that useless then? (this is my main peeve with the personal story in my opinion, the advancement needs more hoops)
What next? Claw Island and dragons, while the set up to this area is done nicely, that is the final improvement on the story, it’s all downhill from there. The first steps on to the islands is perhaps the worst writing i have seen since Twilight and that was written by a 12 year old; at least in your writing the spelling and grammatical errors are minimal. The NPC’s are completely incompetent based on their responses considering the “kind of” important job they have. I know if random people managed to make it on to my island fortress without first knocking on the door or going through a minister for permission first I would be wary, no matter how much I recognise them. Also if someone mentioned a dragon on the way I would be a bit more believing considering I already know them enough to let them walk about my fortress by free reign. The charr leader was ridiculous, he refused to trust that an attack was happening and stands by the entrance the whole time and at the end of the quest his dialogue states “We did all we could.” Completely ludicrous! The mission ends with you buddy being removed from the game, I would have liked to see them become a mini-boss fight before fighting the dragon or perhaps a cutscene where you find their mangled corpse hanging above the gate when you come back to the island.
The future quests I did enjoy as it felt like you were really preparing for war and felt like you were doing something rather than running around with skritt for no apparent reason. The reason this does not save your PS though is due to the difficulty of the missions as you are on your own, I won’t get into that here, and the fact that Trahearne becomes more of a focus than the dragons. While the writing has gotten better this is largely not noticed due to those two factors. Don’t get me wrong, I have seen my fair share of random characters added to a story and taking all the credit before but those characters tended to have unique characteristics. I find absolutely nothing defining about the character, also the only mention of him before Claw Island is available to sylvari characters – could he not have been introduced once or twice from meeting with other high-ranking officials or even references made to him during the storyline? The writing is there to make him great but it has been executed badly. The dream Arah was great but hampered by the difficulty, Syska the Mesmer was a beautiful piece and was of the calibre I expected the whole way through but Trahearne just seems to put off everything you do as trivial compared to what is expected of him and the dragons.
I have read my fair share of fantasy books to know a character that should be killed off within the first 3-4 chapters. I have also played enough games, MMOs and others, to know when a character is presented badly. I personally bring it all down to your dialogue, my suggestion would be to hire writers and re-write from Claw Island onwards, what about R.A. Salvatore? He has been writing fantasy for years and knows how to write a storyline with characters that have feelings. I read that you had different writers on different areas, the writing about Divinitys Edge was written correctly even if players don’t like the characters because they had their own image of them from reading the books – it’s hard to fulfil the imagination of every player. We have background and growth in those characters, Trahearne is really just a kick in the teeth as he is nowhere near as interesting as the DE members, perhaps people were imagining fighting Zhaitan with Logan by their side?
(edited by Turial.1293)