Guild Wars 2

Original Post
This tiny Asuran may look like a harmless creature, just trying to spread Wintersday cheer, however this is not the case. His real intentions are to steal all of our children to turn them into toys! How else would he make all of them so fast in such vast amounts? Not working, I can tell you that for a fact! He uses laser Asuran technology to transmogrify our little young-lings into wooden figurines, and then mounts them upon his fireplace made of searing crystals, with a finely placed Charr skin rug underneath. This year we must hold him, we must stop him! Aim your cannons for the sky soldiers! This Wintersday we will defeat the tyrant Tixx!

BONUS DLC POST: Game of the Year Edition
Hello all, it seems like this is the week that Wintersday events will start, I have been waiting for someone to understand what Tixx is planning, yet none have quite gotten it. So I will explain, in detail, what Toymaker Tixx will do to all of us on Wintersday.

You see, Tixx is an Asuran, an evil Asuran at that. What do all evil Asura desire? That’s right, power. How do most evil Asura aquire said power? That’s right, through the relative hypersensitive oxidized potential energy within the hematopoietic fluid crystalinum. Which we all know is the Blood Stone. How did he get this Blood Stone? Simple. He won a poker match with the Murssat, which we all know are invisible people that watch us take showers. He is planning to hold a “Present Giveaway” promising special boxes, and this event will take place in Lion’s Arch. What is planning is to use the Blood Stone to suck all of our souls out, when everyone is in Lions Arch, and then use those souls to gain unlimited power!! This is 100% canon
/420 char

Please tell me that you have made up this thread, and you have not spoiled an event that maybe happenend on GW1. I regret reading your thread, I will find you and will send you to the deepest part of oblivion, if my assumption is right.

I bet you 1 gold he’s making all those toys with asuran tech. Now it might sound crazy, but that just might be it.

If not, can’t say I care. I am charr and have no need for children, nor do I have time for the crummy things in my busy schedule. I say let Tixx have them, especially those human whelps. Little mongrels are running all over the place and could use a good transmogrification…

The halloween was pretty much a human event. This one is asura. I hope we get an event with Charr as the focal point.

Kojiden.8405:

The halloween was pretty much a human event. This one is asura. I hope we get an event with Charr as the focal point.

Us Charr can make up our own event. Why don’t we celebrate Caturday!? Everyone plays on their Charr toon on Saturday!

Kojiden.8405:

The halloween was pretty much a human event. This one is asura. I hope we get an event with Charr as the focal point.

A human event taking place in LA ran by an Asura.

Levetty.1279:

Kojiden.8405:

The halloween was pretty much a human event. This one is asura. I hope we get an event with Charr as the focal point.

A human event taking place in LA ran by an Asura.

King Thorn was human and the holiday consisted completely of human lore. No matter who ‘ran’ it, Halloween was a human event.

I for one plan to take up station to defend Toymaker Tixx’s worksthop. It is rumored that the Priory, who are always digging up things best left in the ground, have unearthed a tomb full of Grenches, and those grenches are planning an assault on Toymaster Tixx’s airship using stolen Charr Mortars.

We must defend the Toymaker! Quick, someone get the children organized, we must build SNOWMEN!

arrownin.3128:

This tiny asuran may look like a harmless creature, just trying to spread Wintersday cheer, however this is not the case. His real intentions are to steal all of our children to turn them into toys! How else would he make all of them so fast in such vast amounts? Not working, I can tell you that for a fact! He uses laser asuran technology to transmogrify our little younglings into wooden figurines, and then mounts them upon his fireplace made of searing crystals, with a finely placed charr skin rug underneath. This year we must hold him, we must stop him! Aim your cannons for the sky soliders! This Wintersday we will defeat the tyrant tixx!

Plans are underway to liberate a Charrcow launcher and modify it as the first
Skritt-a-pult, the pultees have been informed tixx’s blimp is a floating bag of shinies and are happy to help keep Lions arch Tixx free.

This thread Tixx of all the boxes of goodies.

he got Skritts making all the toys
yep…

Ya beware of Asura with packages. Evil little things.

i knew that britt alliance was up to something experiementing on the skritts. its probably an invasion and the charr are the only one looking for it

Yes!!!!

All asurians are evil midgets who plan to take over Tyria via all the Asura Gates & Waypoints placed across the world…….and with Christmas coming up, they plan to spring themselves out of the tightly packed boxes giving out by Toymaker Tixx…..

Sneaky little asurians…I knew the whole time /giggle

lol or he might just be holding that elusive mini Polar bear ,we all draged or butts thru hrs of torment to find but didn’t,and be giving 1 out to all the good boys and girls at another 1 off event, and all us Oceanic players will miss out again cause of the timing.

hahhahahhahhaahahhaha merry wintersday too all ,and all a good nite(but its morning here in Aust)

Kojiden.8405:

The halloween was pretty much a human event. This one is asura. I hope we get an event with Charr as the focal point.

We had one of those in ascalon several hundred years ago. It wasn’t very pleasant.

<see’s asuran present>

IT’S A TRAP! … but maybe- No it is definitely a trap.

Really what else would an asuran present be?

I want to believe that the Toymaker’s intentions are benign (my mesmer is Asuran, after all)…but that smile of his.

It worries me. Inquest smile like that.

PopeUrban.2578:

Kojiden.8405:

The halloween was pretty much a human event. This one is asura. I hope we get an event with Charr as the focal point.

We had one of those in ascalon several hundred years ago. It wasn’t very pleasant.

They should do St. Patrick’s day event (if they do one) for Norn focused event. Earth day for Sylvari, looool. Not sure what a good Charr one would be.

He’s obviously using skritt kit labour in his dingy workshop, probably how he cranks out toys so cheaply and abundantly.

If the asura screw up Wintersday enough, will Grenth and Dwayna return to set their holiday right?

I knew it! The Divinity Reach media was right.

There is a war on Tixxmas!

Kojiden.8405:

The halloween was pretty much a human event. This one is asura. I hope we get an event with Charr as the focal point.

Don’t you have Meatoberfest? I got a mug and everything.

Tobias Trueflight.8350:

Kojiden.8405:

The halloween was pretty much a human event. This one is asura. I hope we get an event with Charr as the focal point.

Don’t you have Meatoberfest? I got a mug and everything.

and i thought meatoberfest was a fest that went on every day

yeah its all fun and games til the skritt see the bag full of shinies. then its chase the skritt through the snow trying to recover the crap

on the twelth day of winterdays we have

12 minotuars stomping
11 grawls a grawling
10 yaks a yakkingtons
9 herathi hiding
8 skritts chasing shinies
7 hylek jumping
6 doves a delivering
5 norn a drinking
4 slyvari thinking
3 charr warbands
2 humans whispering
and a asuran tixx a coming

ricky markham.8173:

yeah its all fun and games til the skritt see the bag full of shinies. then its chase the skritt through the snow trying to recover the crap

If this is not done on a sleigh…

Actually, this plot is the Asuran way of “Tixxing off” the other races, and TOTALLY demonstrating the superior Asuran intelligence to the rest of the inferiors!!
The mere fact that most Asuran devices don’t always “work as advertised” is just a figment of your imaginations.

signed:

Flubb, Pratt, Fll
Asuran Attorneys at Law(lessness)

Charr already get a holiday, but the rest of Tyria doesn’t celebrate it… Yet.

MEATOBERFEST!

Rising Dusk.2408:

Charr already get a holiday, but the rest of Tyria doesn’t celebrate it… Yet.

MEATOBERFEST!

This seems like the perfect Thanksgiving equivalent for GW2 :p

This really needs a sticky. People need to prepare!

If Tixx turn’s all quaggan’s into plushie’s, he may be alright in my book. :P

Rising Dusk.2408:

Charr already get a holiday, but the rest of Tyria doesn’t celebrate it… Yet.

MEATOBERFEST!

My Norn felt right at home there. Beer? Meat? The occasional punch-up? That’ll do for her nicely.

This thread shows why we shouldn’t be giving presents to bookahs!

Don’t Char have a national holiday declared for the day all realms legalized catnip?

fret not tyrians. me and my fellow sylvarian brothers plan to abduct Tixx when visits the grove 1st. we’ll most definitely tie him up to a chair and torture him brutally till he confesses his motives.

Kojiden.8405:

The halloween was pretty much a human event. This one is asura. I hope we get an event with Charr as the focal point.

Well, there’s always Meatover Day? (I don’t think I spelled that right. >.<)

zippo burntfur.9307:

If Tixx turn’s all quaggan’s into plushie’s, he may be alright in my book. :P

UberQuaggan finds your lack of respect…disturbing. :P