Twas the night before Wintersday, and all across the map
Not a creature was stirring – not even a rat.
Our Siege was all placed on the Battlements with care,
In hopes that Sir Zergalot would ne’er be there.
The ‘kittens’ were nestled all snug in their beds,
sweet dreams of Ascended Gear did dance in their heads.
Our Commander in ‘Exotics’, and I in my crap,
Had just settled on tactics for this long Xmas cap.
When out on the Borderland there arose such a clatter,
I rushed up the Tower to see what was the matter.
As, away to the roof, I sprang like a cat,
I called many a warning on TS and on /Chat.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of Mid-Day to the objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature Mesmer, and eight Engineer.
This strange little Portaler, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be a trick.
More rapid than Swifts his Phantasms they came,
As he whistled, and shouted his Zerg-squad by name!
“Now Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the Turret! To the top of the wall!
Now Burn away! ’Nade away! Crowbar away all!”
Like dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
Zerg meet with an obstacle? – they just mount to the sky!
So, up to the Keep-top the Phantasms and Zerg flew,
Our Siege was in Peril, our whole Garrison too.
And then, in that instant, I heard on the Dome
The firing and zapping of each little Clone.
As I drew back my head, and was turning around,
Down the stairs came Sir Zergalot – with a suspicious length bound.
He was dressed all in Linen, from his head to his foot,
His clothes rather garish and worrying in cut.
His bundle of Zerglings he had at his back,
Had the look of a ‘Leet’ – with suspected ‘Multi-Hack’.
His eyes-how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, (Bet he’s still got his Cherry!)
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
No beard on his chin – still refuses to grow!
What looked like a Greatsword he held tight in his hands,
And the Confusion it addled my head and my plans.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook as he laughed – “Lol Noob Pwnd – U just Jelly!”
He was chubby and plump, a decided odd-ball,
Alas! – I failed to Target as he entered the Wall!
A wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Despawned all our Siege – what a hacking little jerk.
With a snap of his finger (as an obvious boast)
He gave another nod, and our Keep-Lord was toast!
Leaping back to his Portal, to his Zerg gave a sign,
And away they all ‘blinked’ in an instant, in time.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere they ‘warped’ out of sight,
“Happy Hacking to all, and to all ne’er good fight!”
