Guild Wars 2

Through out the various threads I have seen, and created, several Guild Wars themed songs and/or poems. I though that I would share them here in one place, so that the community can enjoy their awesomeness in one place, instead of several deeply buried threads. Please feel free to contribute any of your creations as well. Thank you and enjoy!

To Stack or not to stack?

To stack or not to stack? That is the question. Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the vet and elites of outrageous AI, or to take traits in arms against a sea of mobs, and by DPSing, end them. To die to res no more. And by a res we say end the combat and the armor damage that our character is heir to. ’Tis a consumation devoutly to be wished. To die, to res, perchance to be rezzed: Ay, there the rub, for in that downed state what RNG may come when we have shuffled through this dungeon path, must give us pause. Theres the respect that makes diminishing returns of so long farms. For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, the griefers wrong, the troll commanders inability, the pangs of DC, the devs delay, the insolence of pugs, and the impatient whining the unworthy takes. When he himself might his legendary make, with a bare greatsword? Who would bloodstone dust bear, to farm and grind under a wear life, but that the dread of something after the patch, the undiscovered jumping puzzle, from whose leaps no adventurer returns, frustrates the will and makes us rather take those mesmer ports, then to fly to walkthrough videos we know not of? Thus the fractals make cowards of us all and thus the native resolution is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of the zerg, and enterprises of great risk and movement. With this regard their guildies turned away and lose the name of awesome.

Tyrian Rhapsody

Tyrian Rhapsody

Is this the real life? Or is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide. No escape from my enemies.
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see.
I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.
Because gold is easy come, easy go
Little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me. To me.

Maaaamaaaaaa! Just killed a warband! Put my hammer against their heads, took a swing and now they’re dead.
Silvari life has just begun, and know we’ve gone and thrown it all away!
Didn’t mean to make you die,
If I’m not online this time tomorrow.
Carry on! Carry on. As if bloodstone dust really matters…

I’m too late! Tequatls just begun.
Sends shivers down my spine.
Inventory is full all the time.
Good bye everybody, I’ve got to go!
Gotta leave you all behind and face my wife!
Mama! ooo
I don’t want to die!
I sometimes wish I wouldn’t have a Norn at all!

I see a little silhouetto of a charr.
Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the jumping puzzle.
Thunderbolts and lightning very very frightening me!
Zorromos, Zorromos
Zorromos, Zorromos
Zorromos RNG, Magnifico!

I’m just a poor plant, nobody loves me.
He’s just a poor plant from a poor Pale Tree,
Spare him his life from this Risen Monstrosity.
Easy come, easy go, will your guild let you go?
Asura! No – we will not let you go – let him go
Asura! We will not let you go – let him go
Asura! We will not let you go – let me go
Will not let you go – let me go (never)
Never let you go – let me go
Never let me go – ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go!
Balthazar has an obsidian shard put aside for me, for me, for meeeeeeeeeeee!

So you think you can kill me and loot my stuff!
So you think you can steal my buff!
Ohh babyyy, I’ll report you, noob babyyy
Just gotta get out, just gotta get out of the combaaat.

oooh yeah, oooh yeah.
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Karma really matters
Anyone can see
Karma really matters – karma really matters to me

The “Build” song?

But everybody’s like:
Magi’s
Soldier’s
Cleric’s on your trinkets
Tanks
Healers
Bears on a gold leash

We don’t care, we aren’t caught up in your anti-zerker affair

And we’ll never be casuals
It doesn’t run in our blood
That kind of “deeps” just ain’t for us, we crave a different kind of builds

Let me be your soloer (soloer)
You can call me queen spider
And baby I’ll solo, I’ll solo, I’ll solo
Let me live that fantasy

Othello-
And what’s he then that says I play the villain?
When this advice is free I give and honest,
Probal to thinking and indeed the course
To win the DPS race again? For ‘tis most easy
The inclining staff guardian to subdue
In any honest suit: it’s framed as
The ease of breathing air. And then for it
To win the DPS race—were’t to renounce its lack of dps,
All useless utility skills,
That it may pug, run with guildees, do what it list,
Even as its appetite for superiority shall play the god
With its weak function. How am I then a villain
To counsel all potential dungeon runners to this parallel course,
Directly to their good? Divinity of hell!
When devils will the blackest sins put on,
They do suggest at first with heavenly shows,
Of stories of camaraderie in dungeons,
Of helping stack might to 25,
Of granting swiftness while’st skipping,
As I do now: for whiles this honest fool
Plies the staff guardian to repair his fortunes
And it for relevance in dungeons pleads strongly to the Berserker,
I’ll pour this pestilence into his ear,
And by how much it strives to do groups good,
Staff guardian shall undo its credit with the forum goers.
So will I turn its fictitious virtue into pitch,
And out of its own pretentiousness make the net
That shall enmesh them all.

Much ado about staff guardians
I do much wonder that one guardian, seeing how much another is
A success when he or she dedicates his behaviors
To maximize efficiency and dps , will, after he hath
Laughed at such perceived shallow follies in others,
Become the argument of his own scorn by failing in the very same pursuit:
And such a player is one who carries on as a staff guardian.
I have known when there was no skill with him
Save for the 12 stacks of might and pitiful healing
That was granted onto fellow players that did not stack might;
And now had he rather hear the sound of his own minuscule voice
Proclaiming that staff guardian is useful
outside of open world PvE farming
and Twilight Arbor :
I have known when he would have solely used his staff auto attack to
Prune the venomous leaves in the abode of the Nightmare;
And now will he lie ten nights awake,
Arguing with better players about his relevance.
He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose,
like an honest newbie or one who was trying to be better;
And now is he turned wormtongued ;
his words are a very fantastical banquet of rhetorical instances,
Just so many strange dishes of fantastical conclusions and leaps of logic.
May I be so converted and see with these eyes?
I cannot tell;
I think not:
I will not be sworn, but the almighty hand of the Berserker
may transform me to an oyster;
but I’ll take my oath on it,
till he have made an oyster of me,
he shall never make me such a fool.
One guardian wields dual staves , yet I am well;
Another spends hours at being my nemesis, yet I am well;
Another pretentious, yet I am well;
but till all graces be in one armor set,
only its ascended quality shall come in my grace.
Powerful it shall be, that’s certain;
Precise, or I’ll none;
Ferocious, or I’ll never cheapen it;
Fair in form and in dye, or I’ll never look on it;
Of great value, lacking the binding of soul,
and its hue shall be of what colour it please the first wife.
Ha! The Prince and Monsieur Berserker!
I will hide me in the hallowed arms of the Trinity
And pray to it every day
For its blessings are great.

PuGLOCK
That’s another dungeon I’ve ran!—a staff guardian, a cleric, who now has to hide his head on the graves of Arah, a pug who used to look so smug in front of the other anti-berserkers. Let him think about his own utterly miserable dps. He liked to call me an elitist; let him think about his debt to me in carrying him past Lupicus. He used to speak so highly of his skill as a favor between forum goers; but now, let him think about his own debt.
I’ll use his tears for fish bait. You can’t drink tears, but if it feeds nothing else, it’ll feed my laughter. He’s insulted me and cost me hours of frustration. He’s laughed at my attempts to make him see the futility of clerics, made fun of my berserker’s gear, attempted to humiliate my fellow berserkers, thwarted my attempts at logic, turned ANet developers against me, riled up my enemies—and why? Because I’m a Berserker. Does not a Berserker have HP? Does not a Berserker have Power, Precision, Ferocity, 10 skills on the skill bar, dodge button, and consumables? Does not a Berserker kill the same mobs, get hurt with the same Agony, get sick with the same poison, get healed by the same utility skill, and warm up in the glow of shines and cool off in the lack of dev communication like a staff guardian, bearbow ranger or rifle wielding warrior? If you prick us with torment, do we not bleed? If you knock us down, do we not get up? If you poison us, do we not use condi cleanse? And if you insist that the game isn’t meant to be played by only beserkers, will we not try to make you see reason? If we’re like you in everything else, we’ll resemble you in that respect. If a berserker offends a cleric guardian, bearbow ranger or rifle warrior, what is their kind and gentle reaction? Revenge. If a one of those offends a berserker, what punishment will he come up with if he follows the cleric guardian, bearbow ranger or rifle warrior’s example? Of course, the same thing—revenge! I’ll treat you as badly as you taught me to—and you’ll be lucky if I don’t outdo my teachers.

Working on something from Rigoletto, but it’ll take time.

@ Ivan

Awesome!