New thread as something bigger is coming, this is a preview.
Charlie’s Dress
So, being a master grenade painter, I was always turning down offers by the squabbling nobility of Divinity’s Reach. I always had to tell them that I was just on vacation, not on assignment. Which of course was a lie, as I was almost always visiting Lola in her Rurikton home. Whenever I’d pay her a visit, she’d always manage to scare the Iron Legion right out of me. She never failed to make me grab hold of Ol’ Faithful and start pointing in random directions.
After a few seconds she’d always cast that annoying curtain spell and pull me down and not let me up until I gave her a “charr hug” whatever that was. She probably just means a hug from a Charr. Quirky woman.
Today I decided that I would take up an offer from one of those high nosed noblemen. It was a commission from one of the Caudecus clowns. I went on to search the city for his house, and seemingly by fate it was right next to that obnoxious automated orchestra-carnival…thing. The problem with taking offers from Caudecus minions was that I was never sure who I was doing the work for. It could be for anyone, Queen Jennah, the Imperator of the Cheese Legion(Yes, there is a Cheese Legion. I met them, they’re very good knife-throwers. Don’t ask.), or even…wait a minute. As I approached the building that I was supposed to paint, I smelled dredge.
“What’s going on here? Who’s there?” I called out to anyone that would listen.
Before long I heard the sound of a familiar voice.
“COMRADE!” It was Charlie. Fantastic.
He came out of the Divinity’s Reach Palace wearing finer clothes than the Queen herself, with a frilly hat to match.
“What in Iron’s name are you wearing?” I asked, covering my eyes.
“What? I look…good enough.. to stand…to stand before the moletariate!”
Forgetting that dredge were blind, I realized Charlie had no idea what he was wearing.
“You’re wearing a dress you blind-firing mouse!” I said with a loud laugh.
“What’s a dress?” He asked, with absolute certainty.
My face went blank. I had no idea how to reply.
“I…don’t…know. I see human girls wear them all the time and they look very pretty…but Charr women are always armored.” I made a ditch effort at explaining it, with a shake of the mane and a gentle snarl. “Maybe Lola can help! Lolaaaaaaaa!!!!”
She blinked right next to me, scaring even the ammo out of the rifle I was carrying.
“Don’t do that!” I said, growling at her, jumping nearly three feet in the air.
Lola crossed her arms and looked at Charlie.
“What’s he wearing? A dress?” She started laughing, stopping herself suddenly after remembering too, that dredge were blind.
“Lolateriate, what is a dress?” I could tell Charlie was messing around, Lola could not.
“Hehe.” I laughed, possibly the strangest way a Charr could.
Lola pondered for a moment, then raised her right index finger into the air, as if she was to say something very important.
“A dress…is something all magic-wielding users in the world of Tyria use to defend themselves in place of a shield.”
As she was saying that, a male Norn mesmer walking by wore a face that looked as though he had been defeated by a gladium.
Charlie’s resolve was restored, and he proudly flaunted his dress that resembled the backside of a Marmox.