Guild Wars 2

Decided to write a short story about my main toon, constructive criticism would be appreciated as this is my first attempt at fanfic.

Tnekk grasped at the adrenal pump grafted to his forearm, his screams of pain slowly dying into wimpers and then silence. He tried to open his right eye but only felt excruciating agony as the shards of stone that peppered his face dug in deeper. “I think he is coming back around.” someone whispered in the background.
“Stupid of him to try something like that. It’s a trick I would have expected a Dynamics student to attempt, not a plodding Statics type.”
Groaning, Tnekk slowly opened his good eye and peered upwards. His sister Fyrni was quietly conversing with a Peacekeeper medic in agitated tones. Noticing his attention, Fyrni stated, “You were listening to Master Bronk again weren’t you? I told you he is a bad influence, and now look where it’s got you!”
“Look who’s talking. How was I to know that a Thermocatalytic Reagent fused into a Destroyer core would cause it to go supercritical? You were completely incorrect to assume that the reagent wouldn’t have an effect due to the magiflux field produced by the core!”
“I am sorry to intrude, but the patient will need his rest now. If you could come back later miss?” the medic asked.
“Yes, of course, but please let me know when this bookah-for-brains of a brother will be fit to come home.”
“Will do, miss.”
Tnekk tried to rise, but the medic held him down with one hand while removing the adrenaline canister from it’s cage with the other. “How bad is it?” Tnekk queried.
Turning away to place the adrenaline canister on a tray, the medic stated, “Well, the bad news is that you are going to be almost completely blind in your right eye. The good news is, with your knack for inventing, you may be able to whip something up to compensate for it and you shouldn’t have much permanent scarring.”
“Were there any witnesses to what happened? An experiment is useless if there is no record of it and my memory as to what happened is blank.” Tnekk sat up as the medic started muttering to himself.
The medic turned back to Tnekk, a blue glow emanating from his fingers, barely missing the look of panic that briefly clouded Tnekk’s face. “No, although the aftermath is strewn about in a blast that left debris as far away as Parna’s Gate and that old lab that Researcher Orl belives is Oola the Magnificent’s. You may be able to recover some of it unless the skritt out there get to it first.”
Tnekk lay back down, and sighed in relief as the medic’s spell extracted the bloody shards of a destroyer core from his face. “Please don’t send my sister back once I wake up, I don’t think I can deal with her ‘enthusiasm’ right now. I’ll send my VAL-A golem for her once I feel up to it.” Tnekk pleaded.
“Very well, but it does not seem like she is the type to have the patience to wait.” the medic replied as he walked from the room.
“I think you have the two of us confused…” Tnekk muttered as he drifted back to sleep.

Tnekk was at his work table adding some finishing touches to his new project as the door to his lab was kicked in.
“Where are my results, you ignorant son of a bookah! That destroyer core wasn’t cheap and I am still not convinced that your ‘theories’ are worth my investments!”
Tnekk peered up at the barrel of a red, glyph-covered rifle. His eyes then slid from the weapon to the surly asura who was wielding it. “Irro, how nice to see you again. Unfortunately, I do not have any results to give. I was knocked unconscious by the blast, and, at your insistence I might add, I made sure there was no other method of recording or observation available to the experiment. I don’t know if this is how you Inquest types always operate, but if you put all of your assistants through this sort of gauntlet of tests, I am suprised you have enough personnel to keep your krewe operating.”
“Watch your mouth, you brainless nincompoop!” Irro shouted. “Give me a good reason why the other half of your face shouldn’t match what your failure did to it! You may have impressed Prink with that golem, imbedded with it’s sleeper code and all, but I see you for what you are; a coward who can’t follow through with the simplest tasks!” The rifle began to pulsate as Irro’s fingers tightened in rage.
“GOOD DAY- Let-me-take-your-hat-brzzt-head.” A short golem stumped into the room, bowling into Irro. He fired on instinct but the impact knocked the shot wide. “I-shall-now-perform-a-deep-cranial-massage…with-my-fists.” The golem started throwing hefty punches at Irro’s head as Irro backpedaled towards the door.
“Blast it Tnekk! The Inquest isn’t done with you yet! You watch your back, because the moment you relax, We will be there, ready to collect our due!” Irro screeched over his shoulder as he ran out into the streets of Soren Draa.
The VAL-A golem stumped back into the room. “Filth-has-been-swept-out-master, Waiting-for-further-imput.”
“Please fetch my sister BUT-1R.” Tnekk got up from the table, squinting at the golem with his good eye. “Imput-received, carrying-out-imput” The VAL-A turned about and walked out the door. Tnekk lifted his new creation up to the work-lamp. As he attached the eyepiece to his damaged eye, the device hummed in response.