Guild Wars 2

…to hurt yourself unnecessarily.

DO NOT:

Run with scissors
Juggle active flame throwers
Chew razorblades
Trade punches with Mike Tyson
Date Mike Tyson
Attack a 50man zerg with 5 men and no beer.

DO:

Attack a 50man zerg with 5 men and lots of beer.

If you are a small guild that plays mornings/afternoons (UK time) consider setting up shop on these sunny shores. What shores? Oh I’ll have a pint please.

Check out the community at http://gunnars-hold.eu – drop by, say hi, bring beer. Or not. Some people prefer soft drinks. Like vodka.

TRY:

There is no try. Either do, or do not.

This public service announcement was brought to you by the need for light morning/afternoon coverage because most of our community fears daylight. This would not suit huge guilds as we don’t have that much of a need. Also, small guilds tend to work harder to integrate as we promote a bully-free enviroment and no offence, but a lot of the big guilds just don’t quite get it.

We asked our best and brightest to come up with a recruitment post. They were on a break. So I did it. If I have offended anyone, please get in touch with our complaints department. Which is me.

The hidden message in this post above should be:

We are looking for morning coverage. US and Asian players, we would welcome you with open arms! We are 99% working men and women and cant play during offpeak. Which leads to great suffering along the people who still play in this time and also our primetime is hit by starting with T1 structures every day. We are looking to make a better time for our few players that try to hold our parts in this offpeak time.

Please contact me via pm or look on www.gunnars-hold.eu for more info if you have any questions.

Steelo lies. We’re vampires.

Roo also lies, he regularly makes us charge massive hordes with no beer at all as he has already drank it all. Dont become a victim of this as well, if you come here lock your beer away!

The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy has this to say about Yorric Hunt:

We sing too.

Allegedly.

Roo Stercogburn.9671:

…to hurt yourself unnecessarily.

Some people prefer soft drinks. Like vodka.
…
We asked our best and brightest to come up with a recruitment post. They were on a break. So I did it. If I have offended anyone, please get in touch with our complaints department. Which is me.

Pfft, lmao. This was an entertaining read. Thanks for making my day brighter.

Cheers Caephire

Jupitus.4352:

We sing too.

Allegedly.

EVERYBODY SING!

Me count so poor
Me count so poor

One potato, I can count to one
Two potato, I can count to two
Three potato, I can count to three
Four potato, I can count no more potatoes

Ah, what did I just drink!

Oh my god, they’ve got an alliance
Oh my god, they’ve got an alliance

Eins, zwei, drei, vier
My whole blob has died of fear
Arrowcarts don’t work no more
This is not so wunderbar

Oh noes we are ticking third
So we unleash the guildenzerg
Dumköpfe misplaced the ram
Screw you we’re off to Oktoberfest

Oh my god, they’ve got an alliance
Oh my god, they’ve got an alliance

Need help at GH Bay
Dz taken outer down

That doesn’t rhyme!

Oh my god, they’ve got an alliance
Oh my god, they’ve got an alliance

If you can’t sing and want to do percussion, just repeatedly say “Oontz oontz oontz oontz”. It is after all what was recorded to make the bass drum

Roo Stercogburn.9671:

snip

Roo?
From mid/pryd? o.o

JoxerNL.3752:

Roo Stercogburn.9671:

snip

Roo?
From mid/pryd? o.o

Aye

kitten man, nice seeing your still at it, Khaylar here, used to run with TSR and PW

Purples! Awesome.

Can’t see from sig what server you’re on, where you at and are there other ex DAoC with you?

not to mention we have self-made Gunnar’s memes….

Roo Stercogburn.9671:

Purples! Awesome.

Can’t see from sig what server you’re on, where you at and are there other ex DAoC with you?

Have lost touch with all the other purples, everyone went their own way, im at the moment on Whiteside Ridge

Hey Jox! I remember meeting you at a purples get-together

Jupitus.4352:

Hey Jox! I remember meeting you at a purples get-together

Im on the wrong server, aren’t i :p

kitten it, Roo. You suck at non-recruitment.

From the stories I’ve heard – Roo just sucks, I however can not comment on whether this is a good or bad thing.

JoxerNL.3752:

Im on the wrong server, aren’t i :p

If you’re having fun and have good peeps around you, you’re right where you should be
If we face off against each other I’ll give you a shout and we can have some good ol’ bloodythirsty interaction

Maverick.9472:

From the stories I’ve heard – Roo just sucks, I however can not comment on whether this is a good or bad thing.

Lots of video evidence to prove it too. At least you get to sing along while laughing at my ineptitude

Roo Stercogburn.9671:

If you’re having fun and have good peeps around you, you’re right where you should be

I love this sentiment.

It gives me that warm fuzzy feeling I get sometimes from the Gunnars community site <3

How is Whiteside these days, Mr Roo’s Friend? You guys have a few great WvW guilds if I remember rightly.

Hyung.6140:

How is Whiteside these days, Mr Roo’s Friend? You guys have a few great WvW guilds if I remember rightly.

To be quite honest.. could be better, i been shopping around for a server transfer, most of the zones are deserted and in wvw we seem to be mostly holed up in our own border because we cant field enough people.

JoxerNL.3752:

Hyung.6140:

How is Whiteside these days, Mr Roo’s Friend? You guys have a few great WvW guilds if I remember rightly.

To be quite honest.. could be better, i been shopping around for a server transfer, most of the zones are deserted and in wvw we seem to be mostly holed up in our own border because we cant field enough people.

:( Sorry to hear that, always enjoyed fighting you guys.

Well, Gunnar’s is always open to friendly people and small-medium guilds and I’m sure you’d find a warm welcome here.

I think it’s fair to say that our non-recruitment strategy is basically to attract mature community-minded fun people (be they individuals or small groups), and to put off tryhard big guilds and server hopping alliances where possible.

But if we’re not for you I hope you find the perfect home soon, or that WSR perks up for you

Be nice to Vabbi and FoW. Evacuate your server to Gunnar’s Since my plan to take TEO hostage in a tower and beam them over to GH failed, ill try it this way – think of Vabbi and FoW – they need you! On our server

Suffice to say i bullied the server into this recruitment post when they are totally happy at where they are, Roo wrote this only so id finally shut up about our morning coverage.

Hyung.6140:

:( Sorry to hear that, always enjoyed fighting you guys.

Well, Gunnar’s is always open to friendly people and small-medium guilds and I’m sure you’d find a warm welcome here.

I think it’s fair to say that our non-recruitment strategy is basically to attract mature community-minded fun people (be they individuals or small groups), and to put off tryhard big guilds and server hopping alliances where possible.

But if we’re not for you I hope you find the perfect home soon, or that WSR perks up for you

Thanks for the kind words, i actually ended up on this server (WSR) due to a guild that kept hopping servers (in the early days of GW2) and i simply had enough, so stayed on board.
I think the recruitment strategy is a sound one, i myself am just messing about at the moment checking out servers through the guesting feature, which is a great tool for that.

I would like to see some off peak coverage from you guys!

Oh hell this is an entertaining thread. I’d say Gunnar’s Hold in a nutshell!

We very much need more basement dwellers for late nights and early mornings.
We have a few great commanders that lead us to victory like no one can!
They never fear 5-10 manning SM!
Dcy is one of the biggest wvw guild around. It’s a lot of fun, more organized than zergs.

Today we hold the entirety of EB, it’s been a blast.

Gunnars Hold Commander Candidate Suitability Test

If you think you have The Right Stuff, please read and answer the following questions carefully. If you want to be the best of the best with honours, these are the kinds of things you will be expected to know instinctively.

1) 20man team from Server A hitting Hills on our borderland, 20man team from Server B hitting Bay on our borderland. You have 20 core team members and approximately 10 randoms following your commander tag.
When you AFK, what type of sandwich do you make?

2) We are defending Garrison on our borderland. 10 defenders, around 25 attackers. We have no supply left and they have 2 alpha golems on the inner gate (come from via watergate). One of our scouts spots a further 20 enemies incoming.
What excuse do you use for switching off your commander tag so someone else gets the blame for losing Garrison?

3) You are caught out in the open between Bay and Garrison on an enemy borderland. You have 10 people and were attempting to move to Quarry to cap it. However, of the 15 enemies you notice that most of them are upscaled. How many times is appropriate to jump on their corpses?

4) You have just logged on and people are screaming in guild chat for more to come defend our borderland. How long should you idle in the Trading Post before it is safe to join in?

5) You notice that a fellow commander is proving to be extremely competent and is starting to build a good reputation on the server. To prevent him becoming more popular than you, name one effective method for undermining them.

6) Star Trek or Star Wars?

7) What is the minimum number of supply needed to be carried by every member of a 10 man team to make sure that you can successfully defend a Tower without running out of beer?

8) You have a 5-man team at the east supply camp. Large number of enemies incoming, possibly 30 seconds away. You have three choices and only have time for one. Pick the best of the following:
Strawberries
Spinach
Onions

9) How many scrubs does it take to change a lightbulb?

6) Star wars. Anything else is considered a blasphemy:)

Genotix.6804:

6) Star wars.

I call this a blasphemy.

6) Star Trek

spiritus.7983:

Genotix.6804:

6) Star wars.

I call this a blasphemy.

6) Star Trek

DIVISION ON THE SERVER

SOUND THE ALARM

THE SHIP IS SINKING, THE WHEELS HAVE ALL COME OFF

AND WE’RE OUT OF BEER!!!!

Stargate.

1) 20man team from Server A hitting Hills on our borderland, 20man team from Server B hitting Bay on our borderland. You have 20 core team members and approximately 10 randoms following your commander tag.
When you AFK, what type of sandwich do you make?

This question must be considered carefully, because choices in this scenario are critical and smart Adaption is necessary. Let us look at the team composition of the enemy. Is it melee heavy? I suggest Roast Beef. Sylvary? You will greatly enjoy various salads.. Asura? Half a Sandwich will suffice.

2) We are defending Garrison on our borderland. 10 defenders, around 25 attackers. We have no supply left and they have 2 alpha golems on the inner gate (come from via watergate). One of our scouts spots a further 20 enemies incoming.
What excuse do you use for switching off your commander tag so someone else gets the blame for losing Garrison?

I dont need excuses to go afk. also’ if there is anyone doing the blaming, that would be me. I am the commander, i get to put the blame. Logical. also, you generally shouldnt blame the commander because its just a player with extra 100g. and what can the commander do if everyone are scrubs anyways?

3) You are caught out in the open between Bay and Garrison on an enemy borderland. You have 10 people and were attempting to move to Quarry to cap it. However, of the 15 enemies you notice that most of them are upscaled. How many times is appropriate to jump on their corpses?

Since we are heavily outnumbered, i dont think we would get to dance on their corpses. However, the general rule here is: The more the better – as it will show them you enjoyed the fight and are happy about winning it. If they dont respawn it means they agree.

4) You have just logged on and people are screaming in guild chat for more to come defend our borderland. How long should you idle in the Trading Post before it is safe to join in?

A good 15 minutes are the absolute minimum. Inner should be down by then and either the enemy was wiped or your troops were. In the former case, try to act as you had been there all along (dont put your commander tag up at citadel..), in the later case tell them you are sorry that you are a few minutes late. Do not forget the emote “:/” in that case.

5) You notice that a fellow commander is proving to be extremely competent and is starting to build a good reputation on the server. To prevent him becoming more popular than you, name one effective method for undermining them.

I would put my tag up while they are leading and blame them for everything we lose. At the same time i would try to scam their account.

6) Star Trek or Star Wars?

What are these? Starhejm is my name.

7) What is the minimum number of supply needed to be carried by every member of a 10 man team to make sure that you can successfully defend a Tower without running out of beer?

I like easy questions like this… zero, as you cant generate beer from supply.

8) You have a 5-man team at the east supply camp. Large number of enemies incoming, possibly 30 seconds away. You have three choices and only have time for one. Pick the best of the following:
Strawberries
Spinach
Onions

Spinach sells best on TP.

9) How many scrubs does it take to change a lightbulb?

I have to give in on this one :/

Hope i qualified or ill send you my tag via mail

1) Smoked salmon and cream cheese, because I can.

2) My mum’s on the phone…. again!

3) None – in fact you lose points if you do not /cry

4) Wait until Jessopia joins the fight – you will know the worst of the fighting is over.

5) Follow them – I always ruin things.

6) Matrix (only joking!).

7) 2×24 cases each. Plus hip flasks. And be prepared to kill your teammates if you run out.

8) What is this ‘5 man team’ you talk of? I solo the enemy and dance round picking whatever I kitten well want! (~dreaming~)

9) Make them do it one at a time with the power still on – this is the ‘Way of Roo™’

Cookie?

HAI Gunnars !¨! =)

HAI TDA

Copious amounts of the following are needed for any type of gameplay:
http://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Giant_Orange_Coconut_Cake

www.gunnars-hold.eu

Gunnars Hold Commander Candidate Suitability Test

If you think you have The Right Stuff, please read and answer the following questions carefully. If you want to be the best of the best with honours, these are the kinds of things you will be expected to know instinctively.

1) 20man team from Server A hitting Hills on our borderland, 20man team from Server B hitting Bay on our borderland. You have 20 core team members and approximately 10 randoms following your commander tag.
When you AFK, what type of sandwich do you make?

Bacon sandwich. Always Bacon.

2) We are defending Garrison on our borderland. 10 defenders, around 25 attackers. We have no supply left and they have 2 alpha golems on the inner gate (come from via watergate). One of our scouts spots a further 20 enemies incoming.
What excuse do you use for switching off your commander tag so someone else gets the blame for losing Garrison?

I sneezed and my finger accidentally hit the detag.

3) You are caught out in the open between Bay and Garrison on an enemy borderland. You have 10 people and were attempting to move to Quarry to cap it. However, of the 15 enemies you notice that most of them are upscaled. How many times is appropriate to jump on their corpses?

15, for good measure.

4) You have just logged on and people are screaming in guild chat for more to come defend our borderland. How long should you idle in the Trading Post before it is safe to join in?

20 mins should be long enough.

5) You notice that a fellow commander is proving to be extremely competent and is starting to build a good reputation on the server. To prevent him becoming more popular than you, name one effective method for undermining them.

Badge up and ask them to debadge

6) Star Trek or Star Wars?

Trek Wars

7) What is the minimum number of supply needed to be carried by every member of a 10 man team to make sure that you can successfully defend a Tower without running out of beer?

0

8) You have a 5-man team at the east supply camp. Large number of enemies incoming, possibly 30 seconds away. You have three choices and only have time for one. Pick the best of the following:
Strawberries
Spinach
Onions

Onions. Scare them away with our smelly breath that makes them cry.

9) How many scrubs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Too many to count. Way too many.

HAI GH!

/hugs to all of you (and bananas)

Still remember when me, Slaught and Rooster just got our commander badges, stood at Citadel dancing being happy while evil enemies took advantage of our celebration and capped bay.
We took some Flack from people on the map that night haha!

Fizzlefry.1734:

HAI GH!

/hugs to all of you (and bananas)

Still remember when me, Slaught and Rooster just got our commander badges, stood at Citadel dancing being happy while evil enemies took advantage of our celebration and capped bay.
We took some Flack from people on the map that night haha!

Hi Fizzle. Yeh I remember that night. Just got my tag, was getting taught by Corran on voice comms how to use the different features, warned about things to watch out for, etc. Had my toon dancing while getting ‘trained’.

Yeh, got abuse from some random KISS guys on team chat because they thought we were just standing around doing nothing

Hope all is well with you and your crew of freaks

Community Update Notification Team

We have a number of career opportunities for players that feel they excel in field comms and community forum information-sharing. On Gunnars Hold, you will find many members with a passion for the Community Update Notification Team. These men and women are souls that spend a large amount of time making sure that realtime information is shared on team chats across the borderlands and use a variety of methods to make sure that everyone is wearing the right colour of socks etc.

These key players also know the rate of beer consumption for many of our top rated guilds and can in a timely manner inform commanders when they are likely to suffer ‘unexpected’ AFKs while people sneak off to get bubbly golden supply.

As everyone who plays WvW regularly knows, good communications is at the heart of every winning team.

If you treat good communications as a high priority and think the above description fits you, please contact us at http://gunnars-hold.eu – as they sing on the football terraces, “Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough.”

This WvW role takes dedication, stamina and knowing how to make the best of any position. Are you hard enough for our Community Update Notification Team?

Unsure? Take this short test to check your apptitude.

1) You are at the Gw2 login screen. Do you…

a) Type in your user ID and password.
b) Create a command prompt and type “Format C:”
c) Google for advice.

If you answered (a), you have what it takes to be at the heart of everything we do on Gunnars Hold. Possibly you are overqualified.

I googled for advice but could only find information on the positions of Guild Operations Delegate and Political Envoy (Not In Surmia)
Now I know I am highly qualified for the Guild Operations Delegate, but would be willing to step down to that level for the good of gunnars hold ;-) However too often have i been told I make a bit of a Political Envoy of myself

Roo Stercogburn.9671:

Community Update Notification Team

Unsure? Take this short test to check your apptitude.

1) You are at the Gw2 login screen. Do you…

a) Type in your user ID and password.
b) Create a command prompt and type “Format C:”
c) Google for advice.

If you answered (a), you have what it takes to be at the heart of everything we do on Gunnars Hold. Possibly you are overqualified.

Aha, but what if you store your login and password so you don’t have to remember it and type it out every time (partly because you forget a lot)?

Laurelinde.4395:

Roo Stercogburn.9671:

Community Update Notification Team

Unsure? Take this short test to check your apptitude.

1) You are at the Gw2 login screen. Do you…

a) Type in your user ID and password.
b) Create a command prompt and type “Format C:”
c) Google for advice.

If you answered (a), you have what it takes to be at the heart of everything we do on Gunnars Hold. Possibly you are overqualified.

Aha, but what if you store your login and password so you don’t have to remember it and type it out every time (partly because you forget a lot)?

You know too much!

Rats! Foiled again!

Found this languishing on page 4 (page 3 would probably be more appropriate)… still, unless you can pass our strict criteria you ain’t coming in!

That’s a lie, of course. However, by preference we have recently agreed that what would really build our server up well is a couple of guilds outside of the typical European primetime, during which we are normally fairly strong… except me… in fact many of you have probably killed me before if you have ever rolled through the northern supply camp on GH BL! I’m the silly Ele who stands there and dies a lot

Really fantastic stuff guys. I can also testify that Gunnar’s is a great server to play on and Roo’s aptitude test is no joke!

Roo Stercogburn.9671:

Gunnars Hold Commander Candidate Suitability Test
…
6) Star Trek or Star Wars?
…

I thought we had an agreement to join forces against Twilight fans :)