Guild Wars 2

It’s amazing what boredom will generate. To the tune of “Always a Woman.”

He can kill with his bow, it just takes him all day,
He can ruin your group with his casual play,
And he only skips if he finds it easy,
He kites like a pro, but he’s always a bearbow to me!

You can tell him the strat, you can lead him to loot,
You can ask him to buff but he just wants to shoot,
He’ll do what he wants, his mantra is “Me!”
Yeah, he kites like a pro, but he’s always a bearbow to me!

CHORUS
Ohhh… he takes care of himself
He can strafe if he wants, he’s behind the stack
Ohhh… and he never melees
And he never gives buffs, he just shoots in the back

And he’ll link his gear, it’s the finest for hacking,
But he’ll switch back to Soldier’s, and laugh while you’re stacking,
He’ll say he’s the best, but he’s the worst he can be,
Blame it all on yourselves, ‘cause he’s always a bearbow to me!

CHORUS

He’s frequently slow and his damage is low-end,
He can do as he pleases, he’s nobody’s friend,
And he can’t be convinced, his play-style is free,
And the most he will do is shoot arrows all day,
But he’s always a bearbow to me!

• Disclaimer: No bears were killed during the mutilation of this song.

Hehe not bad, I approve

rofl, good job.

Thank you for sharing maybe they will learn from this.

Faux.1937:

Thank you for sharing maybe they will learn from this.

You can tell him trait spotter,
But he’ll still range with longbow you’ll see.

Speaking as an almost exclusive ranger player, no one can match the unadulterated hatred of bearbows that a ranger has.

And yet we all use them when we’re feeling lazy and drunk and want to AFK a champ in a bandit camp in the Brisban Wildlands. Oh bearbow, why do you seduce me so? Is it the soft brown fur? Or the sweet honey whispers of “Shake it off”?

Oh Bear, you bring me a champ bag as faithfully as my dog brings me the morning newspaper. Half not expecting it, half angry if you don’t bring it. Why do you treat me so well? I don’t deserve it. That much is clear since I am using a bearbow.

I loved it.

It doesn’t need changing, but there are two things I offer as suggestions that you might like :

1) “hacking” is a rhyme but not a strong line – I like “And he’ll link his gear to gain party backing”
2) and in the last line I prefer “And he can’t be convinced, to just ONCE try melee”

Your version is still gold – love the song and the smiles you gave me.

I approve. Nicely done.

Cormac.3871:

Faux.1937:

Thank you for sharing maybe they will learn from this.

You can tell him trait spotter,
But he’ll still range with longbow you’ll see.

I should a couple guild members the power of Sword/X and GS, hitting 15k on Number 2 GS and then auto for 3k (not counting pet). The couldnt blieve how fast I was killing mobs (in orr) compare to them.

Then it came time to do dungeons… they go full range outside of buff radius….. I died alittle inside that day.

Fluffball.8307:

Speaking as an almost exclusive ranger player, no one can match the unadulterated hatred of bearbows that a ranger has.

And yet we all use them when we’re feeling lazy and drunk and want to AFK a champ in a bandit camp in the Brisban Wildlands. Oh bearbow, why do you seduce me so? Is it the soft brown fur? Or the sweet honey whispers of “Shake it off”?

Oh Bear, you bring me a champ bag as faithfully as my dog brings me the morning newspaper. Half not expecting it, half angry if you don’t bring it. Why do you treat me so well? I don’t deserve it. That much is clear since I am using a bearbow.

Dis stole the thread.

I came out of retirement just to comment on this. This made me laugh hard. I’m not as down on bear bow rangers as a lot of people, because I don’t really care what other people do in dungeon runs, I’m not running any races.

But this is just brilliant.

Vayne.8563:

I came out of retirement just to comment on this. This made me laugh hard. I’m not as down on bear bow rangers as a lot of people, because I don’t really care what other people do in dungeon runs, I’m not running any races.

But this is just brilliant.

It was meant as an ode to the stereotype, not as an indictment of particular players. Good to “see” you. The forums have been a poorer place for your absence.

IndigoSundown.5419:

Vayne.8563:

I came out of retirement just to comment on this. This made me laugh hard. I’m not as down on bear bow rangers as a lot of people, because I don’t really care what other people do in dungeon runs, I’m not running any races.

But this is just brilliant.

It was meant as an ode to the stereotype, not as an indictment of particular players. Good to “see” you. The forums have been a poorer place for your absence.

Thanks for that, but I don’t think it’s true. Once you get the label blind fan boy, everything else you say is easily discounted. And I’ve been disliked enough to even have people follow me to reddit from here to heckle and downvote my posts there. I think my presence here caused more problems than it solved.

As for the song, yeah, I get what you’re saying completely. I love this particular style of satire and I think you did it exceptionally well.

But my wife is probably annoyed at you because I’ve been singing it all day. lol

Vayne.8563:

As for the song, yeah, I get what you’re saying completely. I love this particular style of satire and I think you did it exceptionally well.

I’d go easy on the praise, ‘cause you won’t like the version of “You’re so Vayne” he wrote.

Cormac.3871:

Vayne.8563:

As for the song, yeah, I get what you’re saying completely. I love this particular style of satire and I think you did it exceptionally well.

I’d go easy on the praise, ‘cause you won’t like the version of “You’re so Vayne” he wrote.

I should write that! lol