Better way to join raids or host raids
I don’t know where you get your information from but you do NOT need a commander to enter the raid. Also servers do not effect PvE in any significant way at all since megaservers.
They are currently working on an lfg for raids if i remember correctly, and as Randomguy said, you don’t need a commander to start a raid. Just press create in the top left party tab and a squad will be created so you can enter the raid.
As others have said, you don’t need a commander to start a raid. They have said numerous times that they’ve begun working on an lfg section for raids.
As for the waiting issue. That will happen until you find a stable group. When you find a group that you feel is fun or appreciates you, ask to add some of them as friends. Also let them know you’d be open to raiding, or join their guild. Networking is really important/nice in this game. I used to network for fractals, as it reduced the chances of me getting awful pugs with no AR. It made my runs easier and quicker to set up. Now I have 5-8 people I can look to see if they’re raiding and need a druid or a tempest or something, or if they want to join my raid.
Once you have a few friends, raiding gets easier. But it’s work at the beginning.