Bit of philosophy...
A commander tag is evidence that someone is there working on the event.
If one person is already there, then others are more likely to join them.
If others are more likely to join them, then perhaps you should join them too?
That’s the logic behind the commander tag phenomenon you are experiencing. It’s not that people think it will fail without a commander, it’s that they don’t want to bother checking on it unless they know someone is already there working on it. No one likes to be the guy who runs all the way over there just to find that no one else is working on the event.
I almost always pop a tag when I’m working on an event. It draws more people and the event scales. It’s better for XP if you’re leveling masteries. It’s better for people to get their events in.
I tend not to go out of my way to look for them on the map though.
Same as Vayne, I pop when an event pops and I DO NOT look for tags myself outside of WvW