Guild Wars 2

Title says it all. The more eye rolls the better. I’ll get it started.

2 norn walk into a bar, the asuran walks under it.

I’m thinking of starting a Mining business in Arah.
I hear there’s good Orr there.

What’s a norn’s favourite weapon?

Nothing- they just use their bear hands!

^Both of those are actually pretty funny!

Anet Announcement made October 5th 2015 following amazing responses and reviews of their final Beta Weekend event before launch, “Due to Trahearne’s popularity throughout our Guild Wars 2 community, We are proud to announce that Justin Bieber will be voicing this character in our upcoming expansion!”

Noir.3204:

Anet Announcement made October 5th 2015 following amazing responses and reviews of their final Beta Weekend event before launch, “Due to Trahearne’s popularity throughout our Guild Wars 2 community, We are proud to announce that Justin Bieber will be voicing this character in our upcoming expansion!”

That’s horrible, shame on you xD

Another bear related one for added cringe:

What happens if you shave a baby kodan?

Nothing much, but it will be a little bear.

- Why was an asura turned away at the restaurant?
- He forgot to bookah table.

Undeadkemea.4865:

Noir.3204:

Anet Announcement made October 5th 2015 following amazing responses and reviews of their final Beta Weekend event before launch, “Due to Trahearne’s popularity throughout our Guild Wars 2 community, We are proud to announce that Justin Bieber will be voicing this character in our upcoming expansion!”

That’s horrible, shame on you xD

so then… will Trahearne be Canadian? the maple leaf would fit a sylvari perfectly.

How many Asuran does it take to change change a lightbulb?
-none, they’re bright enough.

(I’m sorry. u_U")

soon

/15char

How much grind is there in GW2???

None.

Here is an extra cheesy one.

Why did Sylvari run away from restaurant without looking back?

They ware offering 15 versions of salad.

Some of these are actually pretty funny.

I’m sorry, I’m really not witty enough to come up with any of my own, though. : /

What happened to the Voice of Honor of the Waves?

She died for ursines.

What happens when Sylvari go tanning to much?
They are burnt into charr!

What happens when Sylvari don’t tan enough?
Well, its safe to say that they are one pale tree.

Balancing!

(sry that one is a bit salty)

I personally like the npc’s in divinity reach talking to each other.

Man: then i said i wish you were be more like lyssa
Woman: sacrilege and tasteful at the same time, nice.

Yay blasphemous 3-some jokes ^^

What error message did Trahearne get when he tried to lead the pact against Mordremoth using the power of the internet? “Mordremoth’s Vines are blocking the way.”

What do you call a ley line that isn’t working? A deleyed line.

How many Charr does it take to screw in a light bulb? Six. Five to shout at the lightbulb to get in there and one to smash it with a hammer. Oops, guess that should be “screw up a light bulb.”

What did the Sylvari wife say to her husband when he asked about moving to a different area? “I’m trying to lay down roots here.”

Did you hear about what the Charr did to that human territory? Ascalon next time you’re mowing one.

Trahearne walks into a bar. No one cares.

What do you call it when a Charr spends too much time out in the heat, investigating someone? Charrbroiled Steakout.

What do you call a charr with half a brain? Gifted!

Druids.

Laugh please.

Shake it off! For Great Justice

Why do Charr like Asura GS Warrior?

Nice crispy snack with tooth cleaner included.

Are you sure those calculations are correct?

Asura’s I can be…

Alright, I got one.

Here’s a list of games that are better than Guild Wars 2:

I heard one the other day that made me laugh.

How does Trahearne change a light bulb?

“Commander, a word.”

A Norn stumbles into a doctor’s office.
“What seems to be Ale-ing you?”

2 people walk into a restaurant. To their surprise it is totally empty. After a while Rytlock Brimstone comes to take their order, they tell him what they want and he goes away. A long time passes and nothing has been given to them so they ask Rytlock why they haven’t got their food yet, to which he replies “We serve no one!” (If you watched the HoT launch trailer you’ll get it).

It’s awful I know but it’s the best I could do!

Since it hasn’t been added yet, I know I saw that somebody here on the forums had this as their signature, and I thought it was pretty funny.

What’s Queen Jennah’s favorite movie?
Logan’s Run

Why did Mordremoth and Zhaitan’s acting careers fail?
Mordremoth was wooden and Zhaitan corpsed a lot.

I don’t want to play that race, Norn will I ever want to!

Here is a funny one…

It’s raining Charrs and Dogs!

paintpixie.7398:

Since it hasn’t been added yet, I know I saw that somebody here on the forums had this as their signature, and I thought it was pretty funny.

What’s Queen Jennah’s favorite movie?
Logan’s Run

:)

5 Norns walk into a bar, and the bartender says “Well, we’re in the black for the year.”

Why do the mordrem husks avoid the Orrian Sea?

They never bring their swimming trunks.

badummtss

Ah, so glad to see some humor around here!

When push comes to shove, you can always count on a Ranger.

#PointBlankShot

Why shouldn’t you squash sparkflies during a date?

You’ll spoil it by killing the ambients.

not necessarily a joke related to the game per se but it made me laugh anyway when my friend said it.

“Just ignore some of those forum posts. a lot of people there are more jaded than the luxon sea.”

Carlin Sanders.3587:

not necessarily a joke related to the game per se but it made me laugh anyway when my friend said it.

“Just ignore some of those forum posts. a lot of people there are more jaded than the luxon sea.”

Heehee, this one made me chuckle.

Ok, more terrible cringe-inducing jokes from me:

Why is shopping so expensive in Eastern Ascalon?

Because everything there is branded.

How do you make a s’more in Tyria?

Braham Crackers and Marsh Murellows

What kind of elder dragon would you stick on your fridge?

A Jormagnet

How do you keep smuggling a charr a secret?

Don’t let the cat out of the bag.

Terrible one coming up.

A Mesmer meets up with his Chronomancer friend:

Mesmer: I heard you new guys can think reeeaaaaally fast because of this thing called “alacrity,” how do you do it?

Chronomancer: Well………………

I saw a Sylvari in jail last night, said he had threatened to kill Queen Jennah.

Who would’ve thought a Sylvari would try to commit Tree-son.
____________________________________

A rowdy drunk norn would rather be sitting in front of a bar instead of behind them.

But I guess trying to prevent a Norn from partying is a bit of a moot point.

Considering their newly discovered dragon-spawn status, for their own safety and ours, remaining sylvari in the vicinity need to make like a tree and leave.

What did the the Centaur that wanted to be a dog say?
Hoof Hoof.

Why dont people go to Southsun to kill undead?
There is no risen.

Sorry i had to xD

What did Trahearne say when he fell into the Great Collapse?

“This well won’t end.”

1: Knock Knock
2: Who’s there?
1: An Asura
2: An Asura who?
1: An Asura, I cant reach the doorbell

There was a male Human and his friend, and the friends brothers wife, a female Charr and her mother-in-law, a neighbor to the mother-in-law and an Asura female and her close male friend, a male Norn and a sister to his friend’s best friend and a female Sylvari, they all wanted to go on a raid, but it did’t work out so they all went home.

What did the Risen say when the man asked for directions to Lion’s Arch?

There, over there!

What did Braham say when he heard his mom’s ship got shot down?

Eir today…Garm tomorrow.

If an asura fails at something, could you say they “came up short”?

How many Charr does it take to light a bar-b-que pit?

I don’t know, but there are a lot of Charr out there with the last name of Burntfur.

How does Trahearne like his steaks?

…

… Well done