Guild Wars 2

Dear Yellow mob Dredge Worker,

I really feel your pain. I’m usually just minding my own business, hopping through the snow, not being bothered by anyone as they know I’m completely harmless and then BOOM all of the sudden a cloak and dagger hits me for 380.000 damage. And I can’t even fight back not just because my status is white, not because I’m dead but because I can’t even see who has hit me.

In despair
Snowbunny
Green Borderlands

Zaxares.5419:

Dear hated adventurers,

You killed Momma! Why you kill Momma?! Rrrraaaaagh!

Sincerely,
(Dead) Bear Cub, from Queensdale

Sorry, cub. Momma bear attacked me while I was farming copper ore. I’ve got to have my copper. Nothing stands in the way between me and the COPPA

Dear Snowbunny,

Although we here in the Godslost Swamp near Deathrooth Shack have never witnessed a death by such a tremendous blow, we have suffered from countless deaths at the hands of many crazed killers. In fact, on certain days, there seems to be a relentless steady stream of these bloodthirsty poachers killing all of our colonies and flocks within moments after they hatch. What have we ever done to earn their wrath? We have heard whispers of something called a “daily” and the number thirty also to be somehow significant to these cruel hunters, but we have no understanding of its meaning.

Croaking mad
The Frog – Raven Coalition
Queensdale

I haven’t laughed like that in a while, thanks everyone! :’)

Best thread EU.

Dear Subjugator,

Learn to break your spawn cycle. Get rekt, nub.

Chillin Safely,

The Foulbear Chieftain
#NOgrewars

Snif…touching story..I feel your pain…

XD

The GWVCHA “Guild Wars Veteran and Champion Association” fully agree with the OP.

We will call a unfair labour practice strike in the next few days.

Dirdyy.1648:

The GWVCHA “Guild Wars Veteran and Champion Association” fully agree with the OP.

We will call a unfair labour practice strike in the next few days.

Oh please. Give me a break.

What is his job description here. “Spawn. Be killed. Drop loot.” If OP can’t handle these “onerous” duties, these duties that every minimum wage Risen in the game do every day then he needs to either man up or step down and become a yellow mob somewhere. Coming to the forum to whine about conditions the Champions have been living under for months now is pathetic.

Dirdyy.1648:

The GWVCHA “Guild Wars Veteran and Champion Association” fully agree with the OP.

We will call a unfair labour practice strike in the next few days.

I think you need to petition Arenanet to increase the minimum wage. You deserve at least one Masterwork item on top of whatever loot and champ bags you currently spawn with.

Oh lawl OP and other QQers.
L2P N00BS, srsly! This is a game, use that fact! Exploit the Megaserver to keep the players apart! If the fools can’t get organised, they’ll fail and rage quit. And to defeat the rest, just gear up! PVT or condi should do, use AOE skills. Simple.
Anet didn’t yet state if us using the Megaserver against them is bannable, so we can keep doing it until they fix it.

Also, if you wanna boss good, use the holy trinity – divide the zerg into 3. Splitting the players gets them every time, cause they have to think and you know they hate that. With a PVT or Cleric gear, you can stay alive long enough to leave if they don’t kill you in say 15min.

Srsly, Anet! Give us more difficult players! Why didn’t you teach them about Zerk gear yet! Why do I still have to one shot lame non-dodgers?! Why bowbears lol? Change AI so that players dodge more, this is too easy! Think of us hardcore mobs! Give us RAIDS with organised players!

I don’t mind taking my husks & co. into GvG against GW2community, those guys show some respect!

Peace out newbs,
puts on sunglasses
Great Jungle Wurm of the Bloodtide Coast

Dear OP,
Have you considered being cuter? Pondered becoming a pinch more pulchritudinous? Revving up the old Razzle-Dazzle?
I mean, the constant stream of admirers seeking photo ops with me can get a little smelly (at least the adventurers swarming you aren’t all sweaty and out of breath) but at the end of the day, it feels good to give back to my adoring fans.
Just a thought!

Ta Darling,
-Legendary Llama
Dry Top

hedix.1986:

Oh lawl OP and other QQers.
L2P N00BS, srsly! This is a game, use that fact! Exploit the Megaserver to keep the players apart! If the fools can’t get organised, they’ll fail and rage quit. And to defeat the rest, just gear up! PVT or condi should do, use AOE skills. Simple.
Anet didn’t yet state if us using the Megaserver against them is bannable, so we can keep doing it until they fix it.

Also, if you wanna boss good, use the holy trinity – divide the zerg into 3. Splitting the players gets them every time, cause they have to think and you know they hate that. With a PVT or Cleric gear, you can stay alive long enough to leave if they don’t kill you in say 15min.

Srsly, Anet! Give us more difficult players! Why didn’t you teach them about Zerk gear yet! Why do I still have to one shot lame non-dodgers?! Why bowbears lol? Change AI so that players dodge more, this is too easy! Think of us hardcore mobs! Give us RAIDS with organised players!

I don’t mind taking my husks & co. into GvG against GW2community, those guys show some respect!

Peace out newbs,
puts on sunglasses
Great Jungle Wurm of the Bloodtide Coast

Dear OP, and other rallybots.

This guy has the solution. I’ve tried his advice and succeded in a long term survival.
There is one Fields of Ruin megaserver, that people always leave when they see it’s bugged, making space for new joiners, thus never creating a new “overflow”, so we are basicly safe on every other megaserver.

Regards,
Foulbear Chieftain

Buck up, Veteran Risen Subjugator,

Fate is fickle and on occasion takes an unexpected turn. Until recently I suffered a similar, yet much greater injustice, and note…I am a champion.

It used to happen nearly every minute of every hour of every day, rain or shine, day or night, it never seemed to matter. I am accosted by level 1 humans. They must be touched in some way. Though they seem to have an endless supply of bodies, they generally only come at me one at a time.

I would send in my ineffectual waves of fodder until finally, having had enough, I will deal with them myself. So across the bridge I canter. I need not rush, for I, am a champion. Pitiful humans, they think they can defeat me? After knocking them about for a bit, it is time to end the charade.

The land itself obeys my will, bring it on two legs. And then everything goes all sideways.

They completely ignore me, me, a champion. Maybe they are too stupid to know I am the only one in the area who has not been demoted. Yet off they run to attack my construct, a few hits later and poof, they are gone. And yes I mean poof, a flash of light and it is like they were teleported to a safe haven somewhere. Leaving me perched on the brink of victory, yet lacking the spoils.

And that is how it was for the last 2 years or so, one after another, after another, like roaches. That is, until last week when the continual flow of humans pretty much ceased. I mean sure I get a straggler now and then but…

Who knows what happened? They key point is, something has changed. I have been farming these humans for nigh over two years now. Where is my endgame? Maybe I will wander off to the Modniir Gorge for a little peace and quiet.

I bid you adieu,
M.U.
Champion Modniir High Sage
Shaemoor Garrison
Enroute to Harathi Hinterlands

Dear Risen Veteran Subjugator,

If you’re having that much trouble, just run away. It worked for me.

All the best.

Logan Thackery

Well you know what they say…

‘You can’t keep a good one down.’ I suggest you keep trying. I know you are very happy to lose since you are so tired…or does that ‘Sleeeep!’ statement mean something entirely different?

All these posts supporting mobs, but nobody thinks for a moment about environmental critters getting one-shot when they’re trying to roam.

I’ll always remember you, innocent bystander bunny, whatever your name was.

Edit: wait, nevermind, I’ve been notified of the fact that a tear was, in fact, shed for critters. I’m too hipster to support that, so it’s rabbit stew for me tonight.

Pandaman.4758:

All these posts supporting mobs, but nobody thinks for a moment about environmental critters getting one-shot when they’re trying to roam.

I’ll always remember you, innocent bystander bunny, whatever your name was.

If those death animations weren’t so darned amazing, I would leave the ambients alone..but, man, those frozen bunny animations kill me every time I see them! And nothing makes me giggle more than sneaking a Big Ol’ Bomb under the but of a deer or yak!

Jana.6831:

Dear Yellow mob Dredge Worker,

I really feel your pain. I’m usually just minding my own business, hopping through the snow, not being bothered by anyone as they know I’m completely harmless and then BOOM all of the sudden a cloak and dagger hits me for 380.000 damage. And I can’t even fight back not just because my status is white, not because I’m dead but because I can’t even see who has hit me.

In despair
Snowbunny
Green Borderlands

Guilty as charged.
T_T

Pitiful lower intellects! The secret to survival is obvious to those with more IQ than a skritt! Get someone else to do your fighting for you while you sit back and watch in protected splendor! Golem 2.0.184 ver663 AusF2 rev43.2167 will finally, once and for all, show the world my genius!

Now if I could only keep those bookah Hylek from destroying those toxic waste containers!! And they wonder why they keep getting sick!!!

Sincerely,
Inquest Champion Platform Master, D.Gol.
Observation Platform XKV
Whitland Flats, Mt. Maelstrom

PS: Fools, I’ll destroy them all!!!!
PSS: Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!

Roybe.5896:

Pandaman.4758:

All these posts supporting mobs, but nobody thinks for a moment about environmental critters getting one-shot when they’re trying to roam.

I’ll always remember you, innocent bystander bunny, whatever your name was.

If those death animations weren’t so darned amazing, I would leave the ambients alone..but, man, those frozen bunny animations kill me every time I see them! And nothing makes me giggle more than sneaking a Big Ol’ Bomb under the but of a deer or yak!

Melandru, hear our pleas!

As evidenced by the cruel tortures described above, as well as the earlier postings by Snowbunny and the Frogs and Ravens in Queensdale, your meekest children are being brutally slaughtered for the amusement of these wicked creatures. We carry no loot, offer no experience to our killers, and do nothing to provoke their attacks. Yet day after day, we are subjected to their relentless onslaught. Why cruel masters of Tyria must we suffer this way?

- Ambient Alliance

Kalendraf.9521:

Roybe.5896:

Pandaman.4758:

All these posts supporting mobs, but nobody thinks for a moment about environmental critters getting one-shot when they’re trying to roam.

I’ll always remember you, innocent bystander bunny, whatever your name was.

If those death animations weren’t so darned amazing, I would leave the ambients alone..but, man, those frozen bunny animations kill me every time I see them! And nothing makes me giggle more than sneaking a Big Ol’ Bomb under the but of a deer or yak!

Melandru, hear our pleas!

As evidenced by the cruel tortures described above, as well as the earlier postings by Snowbunny and the Frogs and Ravens in Queensdale, your meekest children are being brutally slaughtered for the amusement of these wicked creatures. We carry no loot, offer no experience to our killers, and do nothing to provoke their attacks. Yet day after day, we are subjected to their relentless onslaught. Why cruel masters of Tyria must we suffer this way?

- Ambient Alliance

The Charr have no Gods!

Dear Risen Veteran Subjugator,

Careful what you wish for, I had the same problem here in Wayfarer but I was a Champion strong and mighty with my wolf pack to protect me, because I couldn’t win a fight Jormag demoted me to less than a veteran, now I get kicked around by everyone even though I have no loot to give.

exChampion Wolfmaster

Necro’s have to corpse camp..if we move to much, our minions despawn…lol

Veteran Risen Subjugator, supplemental

By the Star of the Ranyhyn I may have erred in judgment. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Ignore those who blindly tell you to move from your designated spawn point. As I enlightened you previously, my farming key farmers days are over and I have moved to the Hinterlands. As it turned out this may have not been a prudent career move for me.

Though I am no longer plagued with scores upon thousands of first level human fledglings, fate seems to have taken yet another turn and I am now in fear for my tail. It seems the farmer has become the farmee. I came up to a long-secure Modniir stronghold, only to be confronted by droves of level eighty rabble. A literal zerg of two legged flesh, almost as if on a timer, appears out of nowhere to make my life and sadly subsequent death a living nightmare. Legendary weapons, a dime a dozen, as far as the eye can see. Swinging, thrusting, bashing, poking, hell unicorns… they are shooting bloody unicorns at me.

Even with Elemental assistance, cause really, how does one fight the wind, it is pandemonium. They pounce on my champion triumvirate like a pack of risen Thralls to a roamer, tearing, rending and rainbows. It is a ghastly sight. Yet, in the end I am left alone with the breeze. Locust, yes a plague of locust they are, may the Great Stallion trample their souls.

And so I lay, mangled and broken. What the… my tail, the bloody ‘kittens’ took my tail!

Be careful for what you wish for… I know I am.
Modniir Ulgoth the Tailless
Champion
Modniir Gorge

Dear Risen Veteran Subjugator,

Don’t you see?
We don’t mean to disturb your prayers, but we’re are also worshipers of another kind. We worship the beautifully lined row of trees that surrounds your shrine. Well in truth, we worship lobbing those trees. They’re made of magic you see. We cut them down but in an hour, they’re back whole again as if nothing happend.

But what really makes them magical is this sweet, rainbow-coloured essence called Firefox, which they release upon dying. This…this essence is bewitching, we have been beguiled by it’s beauty and we simply cannot resist it’s charm. I’m sorry to say, but no one will stand in our way, not even you!

The Tree Lobbing Brigade