Guild Wars 2

I’m tired of the cultural insensitivity of the sylvari. It’s obvious that the sylvari’s use of humanoid bodies is stolen from humans. They need to stop stealing the human culture and use their own form. Their micro aggressions towards humans must end.

Lol! Awesome post. How dare they appropriate our functional yet beautiful forms! :D

It’s all part of Ventari’s vast conspiracy. A little known fact is that Ventari once used a time/space/dimension transport vehicle (of his own design) to come into the real world. He did not design it correctly, though, so instead of going to Cantha for a little wonton soup, he ended up in Dallas, TX, on Earth in 1963. His rifle accidentally discharged, killing Kennedy, which upset him to no end.

He vowed that never again would he kill, not Centaurs nor humans. But, how to return? His device only worked one way.

He moved to Hill Valley, CA and made contact with one Dr. Emmett Brown, an eminent scientist who would later determine how to travel through time. But, the Doc’s vehicle only traveled through time, not space or dimensions.

Still, he ordered up one from the Doc anyhow. But, by the time the Doc successfully tested his vehicle, DeLorean had gone out of business. So, Ventari chose to use a AMC Pacer instead.

Ventari successfully modified Doc’s design so he could get back to Tyria and his own time. The device flipped over during the transit, but in other aspects, it was an acceptable journey.

Now, this device was also a one-way device, so he took off the wheels and gutted the frame, leaving only the body, which he used as a planter for a new tree he was breeding.

Naturally, since the planter was originally made by humans, when the Pale Tree came of age and her roots absorbed the metal of the Pacer’s body, she also absorbed a pale image of its makers: humans. Thus, all the Sylvari which came from her are shaped like humans.

And now you know … “the rest of the story”.

STOP TRIGGERING ME

They picked humans because char are the master race and not to be trifled with, and humans are too weak to defend themselves from body theft.

I have to agree. I hate it when Sylvari tv shows SYLVARI actors portraying humans in an insanely sterotypical fashion, mocking our facial features, and insulating that humans are all small squabbling creatures that couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag. It’s not my choice I had to be born a human, but society pushes these oppressive views that all humans are non-shoe wearing simpletons like Queen Jennah and like to waste all their resources on holding overly elaborate festivals while everyone else starves. We’ve even been classified as bookahs by those Asuran IQ tests that are clearly Asuran biased, but none of them can understand this, because Sylvari and Asura are just simply incapable of seeing past their privilege blindness.

We should DEMAND more accurate representation of humans as individuals on Sylvari and Asuran media. I mean I am so angry about it, I’m going to twitter this, until I realized we humans don’t even have internet.

#BurnTheGrove2015

You’re right, OP. Let’s head to tumblr and complain about it together.

The human form was a second choice after the disastrous first form which looked like a chicken salad sandwich.

Was that an undead chicken salad sandwich?

Sylvari have a clear and documented system of genetic tendency to oppress others as documented minions of an elder dragon. Are we supposed to trust these “people” with our children or financial futures? isn’t it true that any one of them could still play host to the consciousness of Mordremoth?

I say we round them all up in to camps so that we’re all safe.

Just because there are a few “good ones” doesn’t change the fact that they come from a genetically dangerous stock, and we should at least consider how to deal with the sylvari problem long term.

I mean what could possibly go wrong?

Miserymachine.7512:

The human form was a second choice after the disastrous first form which looked like a chicken salad sandwich.

Daddicus.6128:

Was that an undead chicken salad sandwich?

If it was, it probably first shot an egg out at the Pale Tree, then exploded. (Leaving her with egg on her face)

You’ll be happy to know then that Sylvari cant breed .

Adine.2184:

You’ll be happy to know then that Sylvari cant breed .

You’ll be even happier that the only way for Sylvari to have kittens is by adoption, as we concluded in another thread.

Next thing you know they’ll be after our precious bodily fluids!

Adine.2184:

You’ll be happy to know then that Sylvari cant breed .

But we keep trying…

If the Jurassic Park movies taught us anything it’s that nature always finds a way.

DarcShriek’s b8 is too gr8 for me. pls nerf b8.
8/8 would fall for b8.

ROFL

/15 characters

Considering what the dragons have done in the past, I say we demand reparations from the Sylvari!

Endless Soul.5178:

Next thing you know they’ll be after our precious bodily fluids!

And after that, the mineshaft gap.

BOMB THE PALE TREE NOW!

Well, I’m pretty sure their form was designed by Mordremoth. If the Pale Tree or half the individuals had it their way, they would probably look like centaurs. Which would be amazing…until you attempt a jumping puzzle.

As a sylvari in a world of non-humanoid plants, every day is a challenge. Do you think it’s easy going out amongst the trees and bushes, knowing that they’re looking at me… judging me just because I look different? Under my epidermis there is still cellulose. If you cut me, do I not bleed sap? This isn’t a lifestyle choice. I was made this way. Why can’t you all just accept me as I am?

Gulesave.5073:

Well, I’m pretty sure their form was designed by Mordremoth. If the Pale Tree or half the individuals had it their way, they would probably look like centaurs. Which would be amazing…until you attempt a jumping puzzle.

I dunno, mountain goats are pretty amazing at that sort of thing. Their hoofiness and four-leggedness doesn’t seem to bother them much.

Zoltar MacRoth.7146:

As a sylvari in a world of non-humanoid plants, every day is a challenge. Do you think it’s easy going out amongst the trees and bushes, knowing that they’re looking at me… judging me just because I look different? Under my epidermis there is still cellulose. If you cut me, do I not bleed sap? This isn’t a lifestyle choice. I was made this way. Why can’t you all just accept me as I am?

Even the bushes in Tyria are suspicious of you. (And rightfully so. No telling when you’ll be possessed by an elder dragon).

Gulesave.5073:

Well, I’m pretty sure their form was designed by Mordremoth. If the Pale Tree or half the individuals had it their way, they would probably look like centaurs. Which would be amazing…until you attempt a jumping puzzle.

There were no humans in existence the last time Mordremoth was awake, so how could it design them around a model it had never seen? If you ask me, I say Mordie simply programmed the Pale Tree(s) to create progeny in the form of whatever seemed to be the dominant race at the time the seed was growing.

Remember the scene from Eye of the North. There was one centaur and a mess of humans living around the Pale Tree, plus a bunch of other humans passing through. If you were a young, ignorant little seedling, who would you guess was the dominant race of Tyria based on that experience?

So, in the end, the OP has the micro-aggressive nature of the relationship turned exactly backwards. It was the poor Pale Tree who was victimized by humans who enforced their pattern on her! For shame, humans!

Just a flesh wound.3589:

Zoltar MacRoth.7146:

As a sylvari in a world of non-humanoid plants, every day is a challenge. Do you think it’s easy going out amongst the trees and bushes, knowing that they’re looking at me… judging me just because I look different? Under my epidermis there is still cellulose. If you cut me, do I not bleed sap? This isn’t a lifestyle choice. I was made this way. Why can’t you all just accept me as I am?

Even the bushes in Tyria are suspicious of you. (And rightfully so. No telling when you’ll be possessed by an elder dragon).

Isnt inspecting peoples bushes fun ….