Guild Wars 2

Dear Tequatl,
After two years and 0 ascended chests, tonight you tapped the final nail in my coffin, didn’t you?

The last 3 nights your loot has been a broken spoon. Tonight, on Tarnished Coast, you gave me my 3rd consecutive broken spoon (20th or so overall) and I cursed your name to the skies (more like in the chat). To quote Hagrid: http://e.lvme.me/tqnl5vl.jpg .

I had decided earlier to use all my magic find boosters, food, whatever I could use for my boss fights this night, I felt like today had to be the day. Very shortly after my post-loot outburst against your name I heard the NPC yell that all too familiar… “THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE WATTEEERRR” and, as if on cue, you came falling from the sky a 2nd time to smite nearly half the server who were still standing at the statue looting.

A glitch! A double spawn! You came back to finish the job. I took off running and dodging for my life, but it was too late. You had already had your revenge.

I’m not sorry, you scaly so-and-so. Let me tell you, for all the money I spent on this game between 3 years ago, gems, and the expansion, I have some advice where you can stick your double spawn and your broken spoons. And what the hell is with all the broken spoons, do you just raid silverware drawers between spawns?

Sincerely,

I hate you.

Dear bite-sized morsel,

Gimme my spoons back. They’re part of a grand plot to bore a sub-aquatic tunnel to the Eye of the North and my Risen servants can’t dig without them.

Sincerely,

You’re delicious.

Teq is a stingy dragon. I did Triple Trouble and got the Ascended armor chest on my first run.

I’ve never gotten anything good from Teq either. Carved bone spoon every single time, I don’t need a carved bone spoon.

If you only want ascended stuff, better to farm Fractals. I’ve gotten like over 30 ascended weapons/armors from fractals alone.

Nike.2631:

Dear bite-sized morsel,

Gimme my spoons back. They’re part of a grand plot to bore a sub-aquatic tunnel to the Eye of the North and my Risen servants can’t dig without them.

Sincerely,

You’re delicious.

Bahaha. This is the correct response. I’m sorry I angered you, oh great Garbage Dragon of Spoons!