Guild Wars 2

What did the Risen Noble say when an adventurer stole Deep Glacial Sky Dye from him?
“Return. Dye.”

What happens when a Charr warrior equips a flaming weapon and takes Mender as a healing skill ?

→ The birth of the almighty Charr-mender !

The difference between a Charr engineer and an Asuran engineer?

When a Charr engi blows something up, he meant to do it.

When your group is lost in the darkest dungeon, whom do you call?

Charruman the White

What do you call charr in heavy tanks?
Charr-mageddon

Sylvari1 to Sylvari2 on Valentines day: “Peas be my podner”

Why did the Sylvari roll over?
Because the grass is greener on the other side.

LMAO! Made my night

Haha, this deserves a thread of its own in the pvp section.

As for my own joke, I always thought reading GW2 as ‘Guild Wars Too’ was pretty funny in and off itself…

A Sylvari and a Farmer are walking down the road.
The Farmer says: “Hey Sylvari, I was thinking we should open a restaurant!”
Sylvari replies: “Hm, maybe, what would we call it?”
The Farmer responds: “How about ‘tea-n-scones’?”
The Sylvari thinks for a moment and says: “No thanks. I’d be committed, but you’d only be involved!”

… and so it came to pass, that fateful day when Grand Marshall Trahearne himself was captured by the remnants of the forces of Zhaitan. In their great vengeance they cast him, bound and alive, into the Bottomless Pit of Endless Despair. They say to this very day travelers that have ventured near the pit can still here his final words… “This well won’t end!”

VOLKON.1290:

“This well won’t end!”

I see what you did there

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry… because it’s pretty accurate.

Lishtenbird.2814:

“Where do all exotics I put into the Mystic Forge go?”
“They all flow into the same sewer system, and that all goes out to sea…

I actually laughed out loud at work at this one!!!

Do you know that guy who purchased 10 character expansion slots?
Turns out he just wanted to post “LOL” on the forum.

Which band of Charr always always called upon to deal with laundry?

The Iron Legion.

Yo mama is so fat, that when she teleported to Lions arch she got full map completion.

What’s Kralkatorrik’s favorite cereal mascot?

Snaff, crackled and popped
(not my joke)

Why was a 10k AP guardian kicked from a party of 4 charrs?
Because “Charr need no guards!”

Why was Scarlet send to her room by Aurora Glade?

Because they caught her playing with dolls.

How many GW2 players does it take to defeat Wurm Boss in Bloodcoast?

All of them and they still can’t do it…lol

What did Abbadon say to Primordius when he found the Fire island chain?
If you like it, then why don’t you put a ring on it?

What did Omadd say to Cera turned Scarlet Briar after he became a ghost?
It’s too late to apologise…..It’s too late…..

What do the humans and charr think of their battles?
They’re playing cat and mouse games.

So warrior, mesmer and necromancer walked into a bar and warrior asked “when is the event starting?” … but nobody answered becuase they were all in different overflows.

Frostgorge champ train is passing the Veteran Largos Assassin, who says: “Are you looking for a challenge?”

Legolas at the Council of Elrond: “You have my bow… and my bear!”

3 Sylvari walk into a bar.
It’s a salad joke.

How is the political progress of the Dredge? Molecular.

All krait are willing to die for their prophets and the kraiter good of their race.

What will you hear the grawl sing if you ask for the song of their people? Graaaawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heaaaaaaaaal.

Last but not least.

What does Trahearne say?
Commander, to me.

mergi.1407:

Why did the Sylvari roll over?
Because the grass is greener on the other side.

Nearly spat my tea out. Two thumbs up!

In what language did ancient skritt write in?
San-skritt.

What’s the difference between Dwaina and Melandru?
Heaven and Earth

How do Krait and Forgotten walk?
They slytherin.

What’s the Karka queen’s sign?
Cancer

What happens when you kill Orian chickens? You enter Hoard Mode!

After a bad breakup with his necromancer girlfriend, an embarrassed Sylvari goes to see a mender. The mender asks him why he came in today, and the Sylvari simply drops his leggings. The mender then exclaims…

“Oh my, that seems to be the worst case of root rot I’ve ever seen!”

VOLKON.1290:

People like to poke fun at Logan for running away from the fight with Kralkatorrik, but really, wasn’t it Snaff that didn’t have the guts to finish the fight?

No. It was Logan. Snaff couldn’t finish his job, because he died, s=while Logan should have protected him.

How Rytlock and Logan say hi to each other!
Hi, Prince Rurik!
Hi, colonel Runaway!

What’s a flaming ale?
Charr whisky!

What was Gwen’s happiest memory?
The Searing.

What was king Adelbern’s happiest memory?
The Foe-fire!

What do we call charr playing rock’n’roll?
Rock-Warband

Haha wanna hear a joke?

Guild Wars 2.

Get it?

What’s Svanir’s favourite videogame?
Ma-Jora’s Mask

ha these are great guys xD

How much wood could a fahrar charr tar if a fahrar charr could tar wood?

(This is actually in-game)

Two sylvari fighting an oakheart. One of them get’s bound by binding roots. The female one with ranged weapons asked the male one without: “Why aren’t you fighting the oakheart?”to which he replies:"Sorry honey, but I’m a bit caught up at the moment! ".

What did the heroes tell Kormir after she lost her sight?
I can show you the world!

Dragonic Elemental.2674:

VOLKON.1290:

People like to poke fun at Logan for running away from the fight with Kralkatorrik, but really, wasn’t it Snaff that didn’t have the guts to finish the fight?

No. It was Logan. Snaff couldn’t finish his job, because he died, s=while Logan should have protected him.

/facepalm

You make me sad. (Hint… how did Snaff die.)

Need more charrecters…

What’s Caith’s and Faolain’s favorite song?
What is love?- Haddaway

How many Asura does it take to blow up a reactor?

Three! One to declare the reactor unsafe, and two more to disagree with him.

(I apologize to any victims of the Thaumanova disaster that may find this joke offensive)

How do you make a female norn mad?
Stealing her last kill and reply with:“Missed a spot.”.

What line makes an asura angry?
I don’t know!

What’s Mossman’s least favorite band?

The Rolling Stones.

The Wizard’s Tower was Do not touch! before it was cool.