Guild Wars 2

How does the dwarf sleep? Like a rock!

How do you survive a dragon attack? Run faster than Snaff.

- or as fast as Logan.

Why are Asura considered pervs?
Cause they always ask everyone to strip down while on a jumping puzzle. (true halloween story)

What’s the difference between a Norn and a Kodan? One is hairy and self-righteous and the other is a big polar bear.

Did you hear about the Sylvari couple that filed for divorce?

They felt it was time to turn over a new leaf.

Q: How does trahearne change a ligthbulb?
A: “Commander can I have a word?”

beren.6048:

Q: How does trahearne change a ligthbulb?
A: “Commander can I have a word?”

best so far. 11/10

Q: How many Asura does it take to paint a wall?
A: Depends on how hard the Norn is throwing them.

What do you call a vegetarian Sylvari?
Ironic.

AndrewOverload.6170:

What do you call a vegetarian Sylvari?
Ironic.

you mean a cannibal?

Not exactly a gw2 joke as such….

When you get knocked down in real life and yell 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do Sylvari do on their wedding nights?

Eat their vegetables.

Esrever.8613:

AndrewOverload.6170:

What do you call a vegetarian Sylvari?
Ironic.

you mean a cannibal?

Not much difference, really.

Another joke. Now this one may seem horrible in nature, but…

What would make a human child, a norn kid or a asuran progeny cry, but wouldn’t bother a charr cub as much?
Hearing the words, “You’re adopted!”

Welcome your new quagan overlords the march of Quagga has begun OOOOoooOOO

cargan.5689:

Welcome your new quagan overlords the march of Quagga has begun OOOOoooOOO

That’s amazing.

I met a Kodan the other day, his name is, “Long Story”.

What’s a Sylvari favorite drink?
Root beer.

ArenaNet made quite a list of good jokes that can be found here

Q: How far can a Norn punt an Asuran?
A: Due to a lack of progeny volunteer assistants we have yet to complete even the most basic of test procedures.

nolop.8095:

ArenaNet made quite a list of good jokes that can be found here

LOL! You sure showed them!

Q) How many Skritt to change a lightbulb?

A) 30 would be smart enough to do it , but the 2nd one always steals the lightbulb
________________________________________________________________

Q) How many WvWvW players to change a lightbulb
A) Don’t know . The lightbulb culled

How many heroes does it take to kill an elder dragon?
None, Because Trahearne took all the credit.

A: A level 80 Elementalist, Guardian, Ranger, and Warrior visiting Caledon forest walk in on a swarm of mosquitoes attacking the Warden Light Tree.

The Guardian uses Binding Blade and Pull to cluster the mosquitoes into a closely packed group.

The Elementalist drops Ring of Fire on top of the Guardian to create a fire combo field.

The Warrior uses Whirling Axe inside the field for a Burning Bolts finisher and massive AoE damage to the mosquitoes.

B: And what does the Ranger do?

A: The Ranger waits for a rez.

xiv.7136:

There’s gotta be a list of the Mad King jokes somewhere.

If you remember during halloween, he was walking around LA telling “racist” jokes about the races in GW2.

here is a list…
http://drunkenmmo.com/guild-wars-2/halloween-mad-kings-jokes

Vawn.3041:

A: A level 80 Elementalist, Guardian, Ranger, and Warrior visiting Caledon forest walk in on a swarm of mosquitoes attacking the Warden Light Tree.

The Guardian uses Binding Blade and Pull to cluster the mosquitoes into a closely packed group.

The Elementalist drops Ring of Fire on top of the Guardian to create a fire combo field.

The Warrior uses Whirling Axe inside the field for a Burning Bolts finisher and massive AoE damage to the mosquitoes.

B: And what does the Ranger do?

A: The Ranger waits for a rez.

Dear Rangers: I’m joking! I’m joking! The Ranger does not wait for a rez. He uses one of the Revive Orbs (a.k.a, “Ranger Snacks”) he’s purchased in advance from the Gem Shop after the event is over and it’s safe to be alive.

That’s how Rangers stayed ranged – staying dead (thus unhittable) during the fight. Now that’s what I call ranged! :-)

(yes, I’m just kidding)

Nothing like humor in Haiku form:

Tengu fall in love
Muffled words spoke in the night
You taste like chicken

A Ranger walks into a bar….
…and his bear pet is off somewhere keeping him in combat.

A Flesh Golem walks into a bar….
…while his Necromancer master is outside fighting still.

A Mesmer walks into a bar,

5 times.

A Thief walks into a bar.

No one knows.

Urge to kill rising

How would Rytlock teach children learn to read?

See.
See Thackeray.
See Thackeray run.
Run! Thackeray run.

-=-

Three Norn walk into a bar. You’d think one of them would have seen it!

-=-

And a really silly one to end with for now;

So, a neutron walks into an Asura bar and states “I’d like a beer, please.”

After the bartender gave him one, he asks “How much will that be?”

“For you?” says the bartender “No charge.”

-=-

(Yeah they do get worse!)

Wanna hear a joke?

Name changes coming soon!

nolop.8095:

ArenaNet made quite a list of good jokes that can be found here

Might not be a joke…but my mom and I were playing and she noticed a player stuck inside a rock. She said “why does that rock have a name?”

I lol’d

nolop.8095:

ArenaNet made quite a list of good jokes that can be found here

Still lol’ing

blakeryan.2018:

nolop.8095:

ArenaNet made quite a list of good jokes that can be found here

Still lol’ing

lol’ing on the floor.