I was running around the sewers of Rata Sum tonight, when I came across an unlikely sight…a lowbie Asura flying the ANet flag.
Hiding behind a golem, I watched him run back and forth, big ears swaying, his little feet pitter-pattering away.
Like an amature biologist, I had stumbled upon this rarest of specimens in its natural habitat and I was content observe it from afar.
Alas, it was not to be, for he turned to me and said, “You there, yes you! The creepy charr lurking in the corner— I see you!”
The gig was up.
I knew my only hope for survival was a quick and decisive attack: I bellowed my war cry and lept into action. Guns and Iron! Things get a bit hazy…someone steps on my tail…I panic…I use all my Virtues…Renewed Focus was no good…his technobabble was just too strong…too strong…
When I came to, I was surrounded by Peacemakers and completely at the mercy of the ANet Asura and his nasty big words.
Expecting further torture I begged his forgiveness and mercy. Unconvinced, he demanded that I donate my unused treasure trove of ugly wool sweaters and socks to clothe the impoverished skritt of the Ashford Plains. With tears in my eyes, I agreed.
“Very well, all is forgiven. You may leave.”
Shaken and humbled, I bowed my head and mumbled, “I…I always believed you existed…I just want you to know that I never lost faith…”
As I turned to go, he stopped me.
“Wait. As a reward for you faith and because you have come closer than any other mortal has to catching me in my true form, I will let you ask but one question and I will answer it. But think carefully, for this is an opportunity that will come but onc—”
Without hesitation I knew what I must ask; the question that had been burning inside: “I bought some wintersday earmuffs from the gem store but they clip real bad with my charr ears. What’s up with that?”
“Oh. Well whenever we design an item we actually design it 10 times, to account for all of the different racial and gender combinations and to allow for various facial customizations, but there will occasionally be some clipping issues.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
“In your case, I think you just made your ears really really long.”
“Yeah, I know. Free makeover kit?”
“No.”
“Oh, well okay then. And thank you.”
“It’s what I’m here for.”
Satisfied with my answer, and reassured that all was right with the world, I let my Peacemaker escort know that I would honor my agreement and henceforth turn over all my unused ugly wool garments. And as the golems were hauling me away, I heard a voice ring out from above:
“Oh and Jaq…Don’t even bother to write about this; nobody will ever believe you.”
Seriously though, he was really nice. We chatted for at least an hour and a half. I said this to him and I’ll say it again here in the off chance any of the other ANet Dev’s read this: it was really good to see that ANet tag. Talking with him was awesome, but I was just happy to see someone flying the flag.
It’s late; I’m out.
Cheers.
-Jaq
p.s. I hate skritt.
I am how ever surprised they let you off so lightly, I’ve heard of an infamous cell in Rata Sum that brings the toughest of Charr to their knees.