Guild Wars 2

In a quiet moment of WvW-ing our group started wondering what Guild Wars 2 professions would be… if they were biscuits. Here’s what we decided:

Warrior: Hobnob; strong, straight forward biscuit that can take a dunking
Mesmer: Pink Wafer (unsure if this really counted as a biscuit), colourful and sweet
Elementalist: Gingernut; hard to get used to but nice overall
Guardian: Chocolate Biscuit; good all round, liked by all

Any ideas for the others?

Thieves would be crescents since no one including A-net likes them

Rangers: Weetabix

Nobody likes you.

Is this one of those biscuits = cookies things ?

If so, oatmeal raisin (with walnuts of course) > all and so all professions should seek to be oatmeal raisin.

Biscuits are tasty awesome things that aren’t cookies!

Necros: Oatmeal raisin cookies that trick you, making you think they’re chocolate chip.

Wanze.8410:

Rangers: Weetabix

Nobody likes you.

not a biscuit.

Ranger : Jaffa cake , Biscuit or is it a cake? (commonly found down the Biscuit aisle) mistaken easly for something that it is not , ether way when eating one oddly leaves a satisfying taste of fulfillment but then it hits you.

you ate too many and are now feeling a little off , though you’ll never forget how good it was to have eaten the Whole packet.

Zenos Osgorma.2936:

Ranger : Jaffa cake , Biscuit or is it a cake? (commonly found down the Biscuit aisle) mistaken easly for something that it is not , ether way when eating one oddly leaves a satisfying taste of fulfillment but then it hits you.

you ate too many and are now feeling a little off , though you’ll never forget how good it was to have eaten the Whole packet.

I miss Jaffa cakes so much . . .

If professions were baked goods, and mesmers could be cake… Then at least 3 of the cakes could be a lie….

If professions were biscuits (English)/cookies (American), I would have 45 delicious baked goods sitting on my main account that I would want to eat.

And a new biscuit for $10? No thanks!

Miku.6297:

If professions were baked goods, and mesmers could be cake… Then at least 3 of the cakes could be a lie….

xD best answer ever!

The obvious choice for a mesmer baked good.

Ranger would be a dog biscuit.

Engineers would be Oreos because only one biscuit ‘requires’ you to twist lick dunk which is overcomplicated. I just want to eat my biscuit.

Thieves would be Rich Tea biscuits, only 1-2 second dunk otherwise they’re a soggy mess.

The thing is this thread could mean different things to different people. For instance biscuit is the UK equivalent of US cookies, while the US biscuit is the equivalent of UK fried dumplings. I kid you not.

Wanze.8410:

Rangers: Weetabix
Nobody likes you.

How can you not like Weetabix?

Thief: Malted Milk; all is good until it breaks into a dozen pieces in your tea

Necros would be BN biscuits. Not fantastic for dunking, mediocre taste, but you like them because they remind you of when you was a kid.

So if cookie is biscuit to you guys, then what do you call biscuits? And what do you use the word cookie for?

Driften.8716:

Thieves would be crescents since no one including A-net likes them

I love thieves.

That being said, thieves can relate to most good biscuits. One second they’re there, and the next they’re all gone.

Leo G.4501:

So if cookie is biscuit to you guys, then what do you call biscuits? And what do you use the word cookie for?

Well, I’m from the UK, but what Americans call biscuits we would call dumplings or scones, depending on the recipe. And they use the word cookie as we would in the UK use biscuit. It’s a bit confusing.
I call it weird. jkjk

Necro: Unsalted graham crackers.

Very bland in flavor, needs water (fields) to make them palatable and generally just sit on the shelf (select screen) being looked at but never eaten (played).

And one more: Even when you have cheese they are still the last chosen option.

Warriors are like Custard Creams.

A staple of the biscuit tin, and are pretty sweet at first. After one too many they become boring and you want a different flavour to liven things up a bit.

I don’t know what type of biscuit Ranger would be, but it would be broken and we all know that the broken ones don’t count.

Heimskarl Ashfiend.9582:

I don’t know what type of biscuit Ranger would be, but it would be broken and we all know that the broken ones don’t count.

It would be one in those cheap assortment of broken biscuit boxes. Joined by Necro xD

Vague Memory.2817:

The thing is this thread could mean different things to different people. For instance biscuit is the UK equivalent of US cookies, while the US biscuit is the equivalent of UK fried dumplings. I kid you not.

A biscuit in the US is far closer to a scone (minus the fruit added to the dough) than it is fried dumplings. Or at least I’ve yet to see a single US biscuit come anywhere close to resembling what I think of when I think of dumplings (the flour/salt/water combo that goes into chicken and dumplings and then potstickers/gyoza).

I’ll admit it. I thought biscuit was the new kitten for the first few lines of this post.

Tommyknocker.6089:

Necro: Unsalted graham crackers.

Very bland in flavor, needs water (fields) to make them palatable and generally just sit on the shelf (select screen) being looked at but never eaten (played).

And one more: Even when you have cheese they are still the last chosen option.

I main necro and found this quite amusing (though definitely true for me in group circumstances >.> ). Well played sir!

Elementalists: Oreo. A tasty all around cookie that you can never go wrong with.

Warrior: Vanilla Wafer. Not very impressive to look at and has a bland concept, but is still surprisingly tasty.

Guardian: Chocolate Chip. A sweet cookie that quite enjoyable to most.

Mesmer: Girl Scout Mint Chocolate. A refreshing and exciting cookie with a lot of kick and flavor to it.

Engineer: Confectioner Sugar. Looks great and tastes great at first, but loses appeal after a while, but still tasty.

Thief: That One Cookie Hiding Under The Packaging. Where did it go!? I know there was still one more in there!

Rangers and Necromancers: Oatmeal Raisin. In the cookie bowl mix, you decide to go for a chocolate chip! It looks tasty and mouth watering, then you bite into it and realize it was not what you thought it was, and learn the taste of utter disappointment.

Revenant: NEW! Labeled Cookies. It’s new, you never got to really get a taste of it yet, only the concept. It might taste good, it might not, and it is hard to tell until you get home and try it. Hopefully it will be better than the oatmeal raisin you accidentally ate.

Rangers would be a pretty nice type of biscuit, but one that is done far, far more successfully by another (slightly more famous) biscuit company.

Leo G.4501:

And what do you use the word cookie for?

For cookies, like you do.

We’re partially Americanised in the UK and so, can buy cookies, as well as biscuits.

But, we would call a hard/crispy cookie a biscuit and only a chewy/squidgy cookie a cookie.

Tenrai Senshi.2017:

I love thieves.

That being said, thieves can relate to most good biscuits. One second they’re there, and the next they’re all gone.

Perfect answer :D

Elementalist would defo be a jammy dodger. Irresistible to mobs because of there soft golden exterior. And even squishier on the inside with there jam. But they taste so good to refuse to have.

Zenos Osgorma.2936:

Ranger : Jaffa cake , Biscuit or is it a cake? (commonly found down the Biscuit aisle) mistaken easly for something that it is not , ether way when eating one oddly leaves a satisfying taste of fulfillment but then it hits you.

you ate too many and are now feeling a little off , though you’ll never forget how good it was to have eaten the Whole packet.

Cakes, it was proven in court.

http://www.kerseys.co.uk/blog/jaffa-cakes-cakes-biscuits/

“But the key turning point was when McVitie’s QC highlighted how cakes harden when they go stale, biscuits go soggy. A Jaffa goes hard. The case was proven.”

This thread is so very British.

I would say Guardians are Timtams. Super delicious and even more so frozen! Cause so much condi removal!