Guild Wars 2

I am disappoint. I thought this was going to be a thread on the currently joke/useless rune sets out there and a plea to make them useful. /sigh

Superior Rune of PvP Balance (6/6)
(1): – 50 Range to Longbow attacks
(2): – 100 Knockback distance
(3): – 100 Range to Longbow attacks
(4): Enemies are given a moment to react before you pelt them with ten arrows.
(5): – 200 Knockback distance
(6): 100% Chance you won’t be able to use your pet’s utility skills in downed state.

Kalendraf.9521:

Superior Rune of Trench Coats (6/6)
(1): Chest piece skin is replaced by a full-length trench coat.
(2): Leggings skin is replaced by the pants best described as “Something that Columbo would wear”.
(3): Headgear skin is replaced by an umbrella hat.
(4): Glove skins are replaced by large, over-sized rubber gloves.
(5): Footwear skins are replaced by thick rubber waders.
(6): While wearing armor with all 6 runes, each successful event completed by the player gains 1 Trench Coat Claim Ticket.

5000 Trench Coat Claim Tickets can be exchanged for an Outfit item called, “The Trench Coat”.

Yeh.. the reason why my thief ran around in exotic starter gear. I was that close to make ascended starter gear. The irony of it is that some ranger with rubber gloves, umbrella hat, rubber waders and trenchcoat made fun of it… (he wasn’t the only one).

Superior Rune of Whine

1) 10% chance to get pwned by the person you just blocked
2) 50% chance that you will get pwned by the next uplevel you meet
3)200% boost to run speed for 2 seconds, can only process once every 5 minutes
4) 75% chance that next yak you meet will kill you
5)15% chance for armour to become “unequipped” in combat
6) 50% chance that the next time you emote over a dead enemy you will die as well but permanently!

Superior Rune of Patch (6/6)
(1): -10% damage output.
(2): +5 second cooldown.
(3): Increase cast time by ¼ second.
(4): 20% chance to randomly nerf skill.
(5): -15% boon duration
(6): Fix skill facts to display the correct values.

Superior Rune of the Skritt Burglar

1) +10% increase in movement speed
2) +10% duration increase on swiftness
3) 50% when struck to turn your enemy into an ambient creature for 5 secs (5sec cooldown)
4) + 25% increase in movement speed
5) +25% duration increase on swiftness
6) 25% when struck to summon a portal that takes you to the nearest WP unless interrupted (20sec cooldown)

Wanze.8410:

Superior Sigil of Critter Slaying
+50% Damage against critters

I need this.

For a bunny infestation that must be addressed.

Superior Rune of (6/6)
(1): Whenever you kill an enemy you have 10% to summon Tequatl as a minion
(2): Whenever you kill an enemy you have 10% to summon Megadestroyer as a minion
(3): Whenever you kill an enemy you have 10% to summon Jormag’s Claw as a minion
(4): Whenever you kill an enemy you have 10% to summon Shadow of the Dragon as a minion
(5): Whenever you kill an enemy you have 10% to summon Shatterer as a minion
(6): Whenever you kill an enemy you have 10% to summon All six Human Gods as minions

Superior Rune of [insert enemy server’s name here]
(1): 90% chance to run away when you see an enemy
(2): 75% chance to alt + f4 on downed
(3): 66% chance to bring 4 thieves with you all the time
(4): 80% chance to /laugh when you outnumber your enemy at least 5:1
(5): 50% chance to summon a Superior AC on hit (no cooldown, no supply needed)
(6): 100% chance to use h*cks

Superior Rune of Superiority
(1): Adds 90,000hp
(2): 99% chance to die instantly
(3): 50% chance of deleting everything in storage.
(4): Automatically reduce loot to junk
(5): -5% Swiftness (you walk backwards)
(6): Random chance to /sit

Superior Sigil of Nerf
On weapon swap, automatically creates a thread in forum with map/event location and vents anger whenever sees players farming an event for ArenaNet to nerf.

Superior Sigil of Anet Sigil:
97% chance to brand Anets logo into the armor of foes you hit. Permanently.

(Can be removed with an Armour Polishing Kit – 700 gems)

Superior Rune of Lolwut
(1): +10 Vitality
(2): Do a random emote whenever you use an elite skill
(3): +50 to a random stat that changes everytime you use your heal skill
(4): 10% chance to equip a random weapon from your inventory when struck
(5): +75 to a random stat that changes every 10 seconds
(6): 10% chance to turn a random person in Tyria into a costume brawl monster when struck

Superior Sigil of the Internet
10% Chance to summon Rick Astley to distract your oponents on crit

Also, guys, can we have a bit more.. just having fun and a bit less reminding everyone of issues you have with the game, community or Anet?

Edit: welp, i should have realised that would be censored. Sorry! :P

Spyritdragon.6048:

Superior Rune of kitten
(1): +10 Vitality
(2): Do a random emote whenever you use an elite skill
(3): +50 to a random stat that changes everytime you use your heal skill
(4): 10% chance to equip a random weapon from your inventory when struck
(5): +75 to a random stat that changes every 10 seconds
(6): 10% chance to turn a random person in Tyria into a costume brawl monster when struck

Superior Sigil of the Internet
10% Chance to summon Rick Astley to distract your oponents on crit

Also, guys, can we have a bit more.. just having fun and a bit less reminding everyone of issues you have with the game, community or Anet?

Haha. I would definitely use that Sigil.

Superior Rune of The Lag
(1): +5% on ping time
(2): +10%on ping time
(3): 10% chance to return to position 10m behind you while running
(4): +20% on ping time
(5): +30% on ping time
(6): 100% chance on DC (120sec cooldown)

EDIT
Superior Rune of Champ Farming
(1): -50% magic find
(2): 30% chance on get crippled (20sec) while zerg is running to champ (15sec cooldown)
(3): 80% chance on looting only blue items
(4): 30% chance on port to random waypoint instead of the right one
(5): 80% chance on looting only green items
(6): 100% chance on getting a DC before you loot the chest

(sorry for bad english )

Superior Rune of Nonsense Nerfing
(1): -10% Logic
(3): 50% chance to nerf rewards upon releasing a patch
(4): -20% Logic
(5): Gains the ability of vanishing after leaving a red post on the forums (no cooldown)
(6): 100% chance to be struck by players when they whine about farming, this trigger a mass nonsense nerf to whatever shuts their mouths quicker.

Rune of lost interest

(1) Interest in the game increased with 10% after patch.
(2) Play ability decreased 30% (after patch)
(3) Interest decreased 20% (after finishing new content)
(4) Interest decreased 40% after finding out no new content is added to particular gamemodes
(5) Interest decreased 10% when matchups are lobsided
(6) Interest decreased to a minimum after seeing transfer prices are higher then the game itself

(7) Interest and gem sales increase 3000% when new WvW map and mechanics are introduced.

Superior Rune of kitten leather crap (6/6)
(1): +5% chances to salvage Thick leather from items
(2): Each time you use a salvage kit, you earn one Thick leather.
(3): +10% chances to salvage Thick leather from items
(4): Mobs you kill have +50% chances to drop medium armor items.
(5): +15% chances to salvage Thick leather from items
(6): Mobs you kill now exclusively drop medium armor items.

Palador.2170:

Superior Sigil of Thackery
10% Chance on hit to cast Fear on self

Patch: Upgrades to 100% if you have the Queen Jennah mini. :p

Spyritdragon.6048:

Superior Sigil of the Internet
10% Chance to summon Rick Astley to distract your opponents on crit

Patch: Sigil cannot be removed and is Soulbound on pickup.
It will not give you up.

Is it weird I’m having more fun patching these ideas than making my own? XD

Superior Rune of the Yakslapper (6/6)
(1): Swiftness you apply to a Supply Animals last 10% longer.
(2): If you’ve been out of combat for at least 3mins, you have a 20% chance of shouting “Make Haste!” out of sheer boredom.
(3): Swiftness you apply to a Supply Animals last 15% longer.
(4): If you’ve been out of combat for at least 5mins, the first time you are hit by an enemy you will shout out “Incoming!”.
(5): Swiftness you apply to a Supply Animals last 20% longer.
(6): If you are downed within 1200m of a Supply Animal, you will shout out “Help Me!”. The Supply Animal will continue walking.

Rauderi.8706:

Spyritdragon.6048:

Superior Sigil of the Internet
10% Chance to summon Rick Astley to distract your opponents on crit

Patch: Sigil cannot be removed and is Soulbound on pickup.
It will not give you up.

Is it weird I’m having more fun patching these ideas than making my own? XD

No, that’s perfectly understandable. =D
I like this one.

Superior Rune of Puzzle Jumping(6/6)
(1): +10% Magic Find
(2): Make ‘mario jump’ sounds each time you jump!
(3): +20% Magic Find
(4): Gain Swiftness and Regeneration upon taking falling damage. (10sec)
(5): +30% Magic Find
(6): Completing a Jumping Puzzle grants you a bonus rare item.

Superior Rune of the Lupicus
(1): Spawn a swarm
(2): Spawn a second swarm
(3): Spawn a third swarm
(4): Spawn a fourth swarm
(5): Glitch when somebody uses a Hylek poison pot
(6): Spam the big aoe life drain off cooldown

I love this thread!

Superior Rune of The Kitten Kitten
(1): replaces every 20th word in guild chat with “kitten”
(2): 10% chance on replace random word in chat with “kitten”
(3): replaces every 20th word in group chat with “kitten”
(4): writes “kitten” in front of ever noun
(5): replaces every 20th word in map chat with “kitten”
(6): writes “KITTEN!!!” on critical hit in world chat, writes “YOU KITTEN!!!” in WvW map chat when killed by enemy

Nagiil.1230:

I love this thread!

Superior Rune of The Kitten Kitten
(1): replaces every 20th word in guild chat with “kitten”
(2): 10% chance on replace random word in chat with “kitten”
(3): replaces every 20th word in group chat with “kitten”
(4): writes “kitten” in front of ever noun
(5): replaces every 20th word in map chat with “kitten”
(6): writes “KITTEN!!!” on critical hit in world chat, writes “YOU KITTEN!!!” in WvW map chat when killed by enemy

Hahaha. This one is perfect for pug dungeons. =)

Here’s another rune:

Superior Rune of Gaile
(1): +20 Healing Power
(2): 25% chance of entering a random thread and applying a Excitement buff on every poster (Excitement increases happiness level by 10% on neutral targets, and 1% on haters, but fanbois get Puke Rainbows buff which does what it implies)
(3): +100 Healing Power
(4): 50% chance of summoning I-Think-It-Looks-Amazing shield buff to ANet staff whenever talking about incoming patch’s new features!
(5): +2500[sic] Healing Power
(6): +0.005% chance of getting a response from a dev to something asked from a forum poster.

Yoroiookami.3485:

Superior Rune of Puzzle Jumping(6/6)
(1): +10% Magic Find
(2): Make ‘mario jump’ sounds each time you jump!
(3): +20% Magic Find
(4): Gain Swiftness and Regeneration upon taking falling damage. (10sec)
(5): +30% Magic Find
(6): Completing a Jumping Puzzle grants you a bonus rare item.

Hm, my own take on that, since it intrigues me:

1. +10% Swiftness duration
2. +10% movement speed
3. +15% movement speed, +20% Swiftness duration
4. If you call for more than one second, you gain the AED boon against falling damage.
5. Magic Find applies to chests!
6. Standing still for 10 seconds as you contemplate your next jump casts Portal Entre. On your next landing, you cast Portal Exeunt. (Cooldown: 90 seconds)

Superior Rune of the Archer(6/6)
(1): You take 33% more damage. Pet is disabled.
(2): +50 Precision
(3): +50 Ferocity
(4): Attacks above 1500 Range have 33% chance of missing.
(5): +100 Precision
(6): +500 Range on ranged Auto attacks.

Superior Sigil of the Archer:
Can only be equipeed if “Superior Rune of the Archer” effect (6) is active.
+500 Range on ranged auto attacks and you take 33% more damage.
Attacks above 2000 Range have an additional 33% chance of missing.

This is not even that much of a troll or joke set. I honestly like to atleast try it out for a while.
Basically you loose your pet and take 66% more total damage but you’ll be sitting at 2500 Range.

Edit: Hell, I’d even go as far as introducing the utlity skill:

Archers Stance:
Roots you in place for 30 seconds. (Effect cannot be removed)
While active grants +500 range.
You take 33% more damage.

Superior rune of perversion
(1) What are you looking at! Automatic equip the most fabulous outift when in range of players.
(2) You let lose a lot of kitten when struck
(3) You radiate some kind of aura
(4) chance to remove opponent armor on hit
(5)Your weapons got mosaic
(6)You are banned

So much pet-hate in these rune sets! /cry

Superior Rune of the Zookeeper (6/6)

1. +25 Healing Power
2. 50% Chance one hit to summons an additional pet for 1 minute. (60 second cooldown)
3. +50 Healing Power
4. Pet summoning from this rune adds an second pet.
5. +100 Healing Power
6. Pet summoning from this rune adds a third pet!

*Ranger pet or other NPC ally like Phantasms or Warband Support members.

Here’s my take on the

Superior Rune of the Kitten
1. +25 Healing Power
2. 25% Chance when hit to summon a Kitten
3. +50 Healing Power
4. Kitten casts PBAoE Fear (Purr)
5. +100 Healing Power
6. Kitten casts PBAoE Launch (Mew)

Superior Sigil of the Kitten
Gain 1 charge when killing an NPC (5 for enemy players). At 25 charges, player gains superspeed for 30 seconds, then falls over and does the sleep animation (non-interruptable) for 5 seconds.

I want……………

Superior Rune of the Foreigner (6/6)
(1): +8 to All Stats
(2): +50% Movement Speed
(3): +12 to All Stats
(4): 25% chance when struck to teleport away from the attacking foe. (Cooldown: 1s)
(5): +16 to All Stats
(6): You can no longer read chat; when struck below 90% health you become invulnerable for 10 seconds. (Cooldown: 10s)

I’m so sorry.

Superior Sigil of Shoobity Woop

On weapon swap, reduce the cooldown of weapon swap and swap weapons. (Puts weapon swap on cooldown for 10 seconds)

Rune of Ragequit

(1) head slot becomes berserker gear
(2) chest slot becomes berserker gear
(3) hand slot becomes berserker gear
(4) leg slot becomes berserker gear
(5) shoulder slot becomes berserker gear
(6) feet slot becomes cleric gear. Your foot slot is linked upon entering a group. You are immediately removed from group.

dlonie.6547:

Superior Rune of Communication (6/6)
(1): +0.001% chance to take nothing off the table!
(2): +0.025% chance to keep up discussion!
(3): +0.00001% chance to confirm awareness of issue.
(4): +0.0005% chance to not go into details.
(5): +0.001% chance for a feature to be discussed internally.
(6): 0% chance of answering simple questions.

This one made me laugh out! loudly!

Superior Sigil of rage kitten:

recieve a stack everytime you get defeated by a random person. upon reaching 1 stack you have a 100% chance to first block the one who defeated you and then rage-whisper that player (may contain instulting)
stack are repleneshed when defeated

Superior Rune of Fun(6/6)
(1): +6 to All Stats
(2): +5% chance to turn an enemy into ambient on hit
(3): +12 to All Stats
(4): Emotes have multiple effects on you and/or your enemy. (“Threaten” – Fear; “Cheer” – Might, “Laugh” – Retalliation…)
(5): +18 to All Stats
(6): Gain 25% more experience for exploring the world, completing maps and events.

Superior Rune of Farming/Hero(6/6)
(1): -4 to all stats; 10% bonus magic find
(2): -8 to all stats; 5% bonus gold
(3): -12 to all stats; 30% bonus magic find
(4): -16 to all stats; 10% bonus karma
(5): -20 to all stats; 30% bonus magic find
(6): -30 to all stats; 40% bonus magic find; 15% bonus gold; 30% bonus karma

Superior Rune of Unnecessary Changes (6/6)
(1): +10% Development Time
(2): +15% Iteration Tuning
(3): +15% Development Time
(4): 50% Chance at Forum Outrage upon announcement; If Outrage persist longer than 2 weeks gain Public Relations speech for 1 week
(5): +25% Deadline Panic
(6): Upon being shipped gain +5 minutes of rest; After rest expires gain 90% forum outrage and lose all Donut and Coffee breaks.

Superior Sigil of Hysteria

30% on hit to make a player in an area of 900 units to laugh hysterically for 15 seconds. Actions and control of affected character are disabled until the laugh effect wears off. (120 seconds cooldown)

Superior Rune of Laughter(6/6)
(1): +15 Power; +15 Vitality.
(2): Make squeaky noises each time you are hit.
(3): +30 Power; +30 Vitality.
(4): Using “/laugh” emote heals your allies and grants Retalliation.
(5): +50 Power; +50 Vitality.
(6): Critical hits have a chance of granting Vigor.

Superior Rune of Futility (6/6)
(1):
(2):
(3):
(4):
(5):
(6):

…No, I didn’t forget to put in the ranks. It literally does nothing!

Superior Rune of an Evil Dude(6/6)
(1): +25 Condition Damage
(2): +10% Condition Duration
(3): +50 Condition Damage
(4): Gain 5 Vitality for each ambient you kill. (Max 25 stacks)
(5): +100 Condition Damage
(6): Monsters don’t attack you unless provoked.

Superior Rune of The Bearbow (6/6)

(1): +100% chance to hit like a wet noodle
(2): -50% creativity while chosing a name for your bear
(3): +100% chance to kitten off your party during a dungeon run
(4): +100% chance to survive while everyone else do your work
(5): +100% chance to be asked to at least trait spotter
(6): +100% chance to be seen as the laziest kind of player in the game

weird.. no one’s done the most obvious one yet..

Superior Rune of End Game

(1) +1 Swing your sword “again”
(2) +10 Alts to redo the same content
(3) +2 LS Seasons
(4) -1 LS Season
(5) +1 to Noob Hope levels when hearing the phrase “It’s Comming Soon”
(6) Unfinished / Bugged Buff, we’re working on it! Will have more info “When it’s Ready”

These runes could be received by the new players at some point while leveling. =)
(Not sure if not OP XD)

Minor Rune of Training(6/6)
(1): +10 Vitality
(2): Receive an Aegis when your health drops below 50% (Cooldown: 30s)

Major Rune of Training(6/6)
(1): +15 Vitality
(2): Receive ‘Aegis’ when your health drops below 50% (Cooldown: 60s)
(3): +30 Vitality
(4): Receive ‘Regeneration’ when your health drops below 50% (Cooldown: 60s)

Superior Rune of Training(6/6)
(1): +25 Vitality
(2): Receive ‘Aegis’ when your health drops below 30% (Cooldown: 60s)
(3): +50 Vitality
(4): Receive ‘Regeneration’ when your health drops below 30% (Cooldown: 60s)
(5): +100 Vitality
(6): Successful dodges grant you fury.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I would also love to actually see this one in game in some form. =P
Superior Rune of Warlord(6/6)
(1): +25 Vitality
(2): +35 Power
(3): +50 Vitality
(4): +65 Power
(5): +100 Vitality
(6): -33% condition duration

Superior Rune of “Soon” – First one Achieved through LS episodes.
1.) Allows you to discover a second Superior Rune of “Soon” “when it’s ready, but we promise it’s big.”
2.) Allows you to discover a third Superior Rune of “Soon” “when it’s ready, but we promise it’s big.”
3.) Allows you to discover a fourth Superior Rune of “Soon” “when it’s ready, but we promise it’s big.”
4.) Allows you to discover a fifth Superior Rune of “Soon” “when it’s ready, but we promise it’s big.”
5.) Allows you to discover a sixth Superior Rune of “Soon” “when it’s ready, but we promise it’s big.”
6.) "Rune of “Soon” has been cancelled and all Runes of “Soon” are removed from equipment carrying them. Allows the player to unlock ‘“Rune of “Soon” II’ after another six months."

Repeat with Rune of “Soon” II and Rune of “Soon” III …

Superior Rune of The Logan (6/6)
(1): +100% Swiftness Duration
(2): +20% Chance to gain Aegis when the Queen is mentioned
(3): +200% Speed
(4): Your Autoattack skill is changed to “Retreat!” (.25 second cooldown)
(5): +90% Chance to leave your current party for the Queen when her name is mentioned
(6): Your Skillbar and dodge is replaced with “Retreat!”

K Factor.7182:

Superior Rune of The Logan (6/6)
(1): +100% Swiftness Duration
(2): +20% Chance to gain Aegis when the Queen is mentioned
(3): +200% Speed
(4): Your Autoattack skill is changed to “Retreat!” (.25 second cooldown)
(5): +90% Chance to leave your current party for the Queen when her name is mentioned
(6): Your Skillbar and dodge is replaced with “Retreat!”

Haha. This one made me laugh. Good job.

Superior Sigil of Play as a Tengu

100% chance to transform into a Tengu on hit. Only ends on weapon swap.

Superior Sigil of Mounts

100% chance to ride on a Moa. Ends on Hit.