King Thorn’s offensive finale

King Thorn’s offensive finale

in Guild Wars 2 Discussion

Posted by: Barry Moonfang.6897

Barry Moonfang.6897

So I guess most of us know the character Oswald “Mad King” Thorn, and I think it is a character you either love, or love to hate. But I’ve always thought that he could be a bit more mean. He is the spirit of Halloween after all. So this is what I suggest, even though Helloween still months away.

King Thorn’s comedic final!, the last day of Halloween our beloved (his words, not mine) King Thorn has a final treat for us. We get to attend our King’s newest stand-up comedy act. During this event he’ll tell us the hilarious jokes he has been working on during his time in the Realm of Madness. As payment for this ones in a lifetime show all what our dear king asks for is our opinion. (Of course we’ll love him because you know how he handles criticism)

For a sneak peak of our kings fantastic show, open the spoiler (Possible spoilers for Guild Wars 2 and Guild Wars 2: Heart of Thorns).


“Do you know why Trahearne won’t be attending this year’s family dinner…
Last year he blew it!”

“Have you heard, Braham is thinking about starting a family?
They say it is because he would like to have a heir again!”

“I wonder what happened to that brilliant Asura Zoja.
Guess something Snaffed out her light!”

“How do you call a lonely Charr on Claw Island?
Tybalt all that’s Left is a Paw!”

“I can tell you Orrians know how to party, once met a girl named Sieran on Claw Island, well…
After the party we called her Ceasar Salad!”

This and many, many more jokes.

So as you can see (or not if you don’t want any spoilers) King Thorn’s jokes can seem a bit offensive to some people. Well, good think he asked for your feedback isn’t it. After one of many (soon to be) classic jokes you can express your opinion.

https://i.imgsafe.org/7aecb032c4.jpg
(I’m lazy I know)

So do you find his jokes:

  1. Hilarious
  2. Funny
  3. Meh
  4. What did you say?
  5. By [insert deity/religion here] you did not say that!

At the end of the event King Thorn has something for all of you, the people that didn’t like his show, they get… To eat mud! People that didn’t seem to care get… To ear mud! And finally the people that liked his show (properly all people) get a farewell gift sent by mail… That explodes so they can eat mud!

Attendants will also get a (yearly acquirable) title that reflects their standing on the hilarious King Thorn. The people that loved the show shall be knowns as: Heartless. People that didn’t seem to get the jokes (if they did it would have been hilarious) shall be known as: Indifferent. And finally the people that don’t have a sense of humour shall be named: Kitten King Thom.

(edited by Barry Moonfang.6897)

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