Guild Wars 2

A Norn ranger/sculptor with confidence issues, a big black wolf, a lovesick but stoic Sylvari thief, an ill-tempered Asura golemancer, a guilt-ridden Human Seraph Captain, and a brooding Charr warrior walk into a bar at the same time.

The bartender says, “what is this, some kind of joke?”

Rytlock, Logan and Traherne walk into a bar, Rytlock and Traherne at least stay for a drink.

Logan Thackery, friendzone level 80

Legendary Sword of Logan Thackeray

Attack: 0

Power: -100
Vitality: -100
Toughness: -100

When equipped, your armor is always broken and cannot be repaired.

Permanent Bound – When you equip Legendary Sword of Logan Thackeray you cannot remove it.

“Keep running my friends.”

You don’t have to be faster than the dragon, you have to be faster than Logan Thackeray

To blatantly plagiarize……

And the minstrels sang………

Bravely bold Sir Logan, strode forth from Kessex Hills.
He was not afraid to die, no, Brave Sir Logan!
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Logan.

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
nor to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken
to have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Logan.

Rage The Numbers.7943:

I’m just curious. How many of you guys have read Edge of Destiny?

I have. I’d say every character is fine but Jennah needs to die. Logan was fine and likable until Jennah emerged.

On the other note, this thread is amusing.

PCanineBrigade.4916:

Rage The Numbers.7943:

I’m just curious. How many of you guys have read Edge of Destiny?

I have. I’d say every character is fine but Jennah needs to die. Logan was fine and likable until Jennah emerged.

On the other note, this thread is amusing.

Personally I feel she needs to get off of the throne and actually do something in the field. Imagine if Jennah went with them to fight the dragon. Would Logan had run if she stayed next to Snaff? No, he would have kept both of them safe just as hard. And considering she’s a Mesmer, she can handle herself in the field. I mean COME ON, SHE CAN MAKE ILLUSIONS OF HERSELF TO BATTLE HER FOES! Her being on a throne and not out on the field is a waste IMO. I bet a Charr Khan-Ur would be out in the field fighting…

Logan Thackeray: “My, my own…my precioussss”

Queen Jennah: “Get that MONSTER away from me!”

Logan Thackeray runs away crying and squealing

Actually, we can use him in good cause
Make a new PvP (PvE?) type of gameplay:
Catch Logan!
He is running like crazy from everyone and you need to catch him and bring back to duty.
You can acquire Queen Jenna’s disguise to lure him.
:)

Fyrebrand.4859:

Q: What’s the fastest way to Divinity’s Reach?
A: Enter a battle and grab hold of Logan Thackeray.

I loled.

Logan is the Luke Skywalker of Tyria.

“But I was going to go into Rata Sum to pick up some power converters.”

or

“This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the horizon, to the Queen. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Guardian craves not these things.”

I heard the game devs originally planned for a human elite skill called Avatar of Logan Thackeray, but they decided not to release it. When activated, it would inflict Fear on yourself for 30 seconds and then automatically teleport you to Divinity’s Reach.

Omg, I love Logan but this is too funny! When I think of something clever I’ll post it XD

Logan Thackeray = http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Csinfernoii.jpg

Logan Thackeray, also known as the top left button of your keyboard.

New players helps kill the giant rock hands.
“Alright Logan We—”

“RUN! Run for everything you hold dear!”

Logan has a special guardian skill: Instead of Save Youselves!, it’s Save Myself!

In regards to human storyline
“It seems there’s a traitor in the ministry. Hero, you go run off and find out more about this dangerous and crafty villain, I’ll just stay here and ‘protect’ the queen.”

Logan Thackeray never runs from a fight — he just kites from a safe distance.

Ahahah! So funny that even my boss in next room realized it…

you know what they say:
he who runs away…

is forever known as logan thackeray.

The game developers scrapped a buff early in the developmental cycle of gw2. It was called Thackeray. It would trigger whenever an enemy mob would approach your character with a larger trigger radius in relation to veteren and champion mobs.

It would grant a stacking speed buff for as long as you didn’t attack a creature with a reduced internal cooldown the closer an enemy got to the player. Upon attacking a creature you would get feared (1 second for each stack of Thackeray on you).

The tooltip would simply state “Channeling the spirit of Logan” with an icon of Logan’s face.

The developers scrapped the idea under the pretense that they were being too nice to Logan. The entire project was later scrapped due to PR pressure.

A often overlooked part of the BW1 event was the inclusion of the Thackeray buff. It retained it’s effect on the character but was only applied in a single 25 stack when certain conditions were met.

In the case of BW1 it was applied to a character only if they left a Pvp match before the game had completed. The time the buff would be applied for would be correlated the the amount of time remaining in the match.

In a very unpopular move, Arena net decided to not include the boon in further builds of Gw2 despite the almost unanimous positive feedback it had received.

Updated the roster to add in the new jokes, sorry for being away for so long I’ve been playing other games lately, I’ll be checking this thread daily to update. Thanks guys! Great stuff here!

A wild Logan Thackeray has appeared!
Dragon used growl. It’s super effective!
The wild Logan Thackeray has fled!

Bumping this for great justice.

Knock-knock
Who’s there?
Logan
The Logan Thackeray!?
I’m not running away!

Rage The Numbers.7943:

I’m just curious. How many of you guys have read Edge of Destiny?

I have, once, and after reading this thread I want to read it again. But every time I find the dang thing on the shelf, it disappears!

Never saw a book behave like that.

Q: Who’s the first person to Alt+F4 mid-combat and survive without any broken armor?
A: Logan Thackeray

Q: When fix for above issue was in works, what codeword did Anet use internally?
A: “Fix Logan Thackeray”

Q: Who’s the originator of “I can outrun a centaur”?
A: It’s anybody’s guess (the original line was “I can outrun all centaurs”)

My “love” for Logan has finally found a home <3

I’m not allowed to run story mode anymore otherwise it’s “God kitten Logan!” every 5 minutes.

dlechestnut.5230:

Logan is the Luke Skywalker of Tyria.

“But I was going to go into Rata Sum to pick up some power converters.”

or

“This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the horizon, to the Queen. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Guardian craves not these things.”

“But I was going to go into Rata Sum to pick up some power converters.”

Hahahahahah

Fiennes.9568:

Going to war without Logan Thackery is like going to war without an Accordion. All you leave behind is a lot of noisy baggage.

This left me in stitches. Seriously, it cracks me up each time it comes to mind. Bloody brilliant

Logan Thackery = Sir Robin of Camelot

Logan Thackeray created the tradition of starting at the sound of the gun.

Rytlock: Zojja, what does the scouter say about his Coward Level!?
Zojja: IT’S OVER 9000!

Logan Owned Count: Krillin

JENNAAAA!

JEEENNNNAAA!

“Who’s Jenna? I thought the character’s name was Stella?”

Q: What’s faster than a speeding bullet?
A: Logan Thackery’s lifeline.

Someone once asked if anyone thought it was wrong to start events just to watch the NPCs die. I said yes, unless it’s Logan Thackery. (New gold sink Anet?)

Queen Jenna really is a great mesmer. Think about it, she crafts wonderful illusions.
For a while, she had us actually thinking he was worthwhile.

Now another joke.

Logan: “Knock Knock”
You: “Who’s there?”
Logan: “Logan”
You: “Logan who?”
he had already run off
You: “Hello? Still there?”

Wedge Antilles took great inspiration from his long ago ancestor Logan.
If it looks like an important battle, best be late.

That’s it…..I’m getting a Logan pic and making ‘Ehrmagerd Thackeray’.

“War? Ain’t nobody got time fo dat!” – Logan Thackeray

Logan Thackeray as “Logan Fledaway”

I don’t think we’re giving Logan Thackery enough credit here.

Logan Thackery is Tyria’s Forest Gump, he keeps on running and will do anything for his Jenny, I mean Jenna.

Oh yeah also,

Q: How do you know there is a battle far away?
A: Logan is approaching you.

Deadcell.9052:

Logan Thackery is Tyria’s Forest Gump, he keeps on running and will do anything for his Jenny, I mean Jenna.

Oh wow the possibilities grew from this connection!
“You ain’t got no human legs Legionnaire Rytlock!”
“I know that Seraph Thack.”

All Guardian players know of the useful skill that allows them to grant swiftness and aegis to themselves and nearby players. It’s used most often to charge into battle with friends and protect them from harm.

Thanks to Logan Thackeray the skill is called “Retreat”.

Updated the best jokes, fixed some grammar in them and edited the names to stand out more, keep up the jokes guys! Try to be original

It seems to be in the bloodline, even Keiran Thackeray ran away from the big battle to chase after a girl.

When a dragon comes calling, Logan Thackery can outrun a centaur.

Logan Thackeray runs away so fast, even Usain Bolt can’t catch him!

Zoid.2568:

Logan Thackeray: “My, my own…my precioussss”

Queen Jennah: “Get that MONSTER away from me!”

Logan Thackeray runs away crying and squealing

Smeagol <3
Haha this one is my favorite.

They should do a “Most Cowardly Man In The World” commercial:

(Logan sitting at table, while Hispanic lute music plays) “I don’t always run away…But, when I do…” (sprints out the door)

Seems like some people mistake Logan for being fast. Logan is not fast, he just runs.