Guild Wars 2

Atlas.9704:

Deadcell.9052:

Logan Thackery is Tyria’s Forest Gump, he keeps on running and will do anything for his Jenny, I mean Jenna.

Oh wow the possibilities grew from this connection!
“You ain’t got no human legs Legionnaire Rytlock!”
“I know that Seraph Thack.”

Indeed.

(Logan holding a box of you-know-what) “Life in Tyria is like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re going to get…OMG, a coconut one!!!”

(Drops box and runs screaming into the street)

Also, not really a proper joke, but:

Logan T and Rytlock B went into town one day,
A nearby Quaggan broke loud wind and Logan ran away!

Farzo.8410:

Seems like some people mistake Logan for being fast. Logan is not fast, he just runs.

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In the end, the whole Destiny’s Edge guild seemed to have forgiven Logan, would this make the whole guild bad for forgiving him that easily?

But otherwise, Logan is my favourite hero, he seems to be the only one who can accept his mistakes and then change, apologize about it.

Do not forget when he sacrificed himself so you could get away with the flying ship in Orr!

During a fight with the Claw of Jormag just now, I remarked how funny it is that the dragon likes to “Logan Thackery” everybody.

I may have started a trend.

My guild refers to a “Logan Thackeray Maneuver” as another name for “full speedy tactical retreat”.

When guild leaders call out “Let’s Logan Thackeray Out”, you would drop everything… stop mid-battle, stop mining, stop collecting loot, and run the kitten out of there and cast any and all speed boons until you got home portal…

some do it too well and leave the zone all together.

Logan’s Run? Farrah Fawcett was in that one, right?

Brave Sir Logan ran away!
He bravely ran away, away!
When danger reared its’ ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled!
Brave, brave, brave Sir Logan!

Logan wandering around the foothills

mumbleing Gwen.. Gwen

a passer by stopped and said to him

Are you calling out a new skill or seeking a long lost love?

No came the reply
Gwen is ..Gee Wiz Everyones Norn

Why doesn’t Logan Thackeray play WvW?
If he did, he’d have to change his name to Logout Thackeray instead.

Why did Logan Thackeray cross the road?
To get away from the battl… I mean, to save the queen.

Soulstar.7812:

My guild refers to a “Logan Thackeray Maneuver” as another name for “full speedy tactical retreat”.

When guild leaders call out “Let’s Logan Thackeray Out”, you would drop everything… stop mid-battle, stop mining, stop collecting loot, and run the kitten out of there and cast any and all speed boons until you got home portal…

some do it too well and leave the zone all together.

Hahahahahaha we have a winner!!!! best meme by far!

For sale: Logan Thackeray’s sword. Never been used. Only dropped once.

Busting a gut at work here guys! Love this thread. Anyway on a related note.

Guild was running story modes again last night. (We all can not stand Logan.)
Enter CM
I say: “Hey guys look at Jennah she doesn’t wear shoes.”
Guild laughs.
Guild clown pipes up: " It’s cause her dog is always licking them."
I say: “Jennahs only dog is Logan.”
Commence massive guild rofl.

In TA we get to the spider point and kill it. Logan makes his we don’t need Rytlock quip and Caithe calls him out on it so he leaves.
Guild clown 2: “rage quit”
We all start laughing.

Q: What is Logan’s favorite MMORPG?
A: WoW, because he can Bubble-Hearth while in combat.

Centaur: “I can outrun a Logan Thackery!”

“But you called it a dungeon RUN!”

“AnenaNet, will you PLEASE fix the Logas Thackery trait. It’s bugged. The “100% chance to Fear on hit” is actually applying the Fear to my character, not my target. What’s that? It’s working as intended? Oh…"

It is known that Logan’s whole right skill bar, including healing and elite, are slotted with “Retreat!”.

Legend has it never have all 5 copies been off cooldown at the same time.

There are no such things as Logan Thackeray Jokes.

Logan Thackeray IS the joke.

- Logan Thackeray, undeniable proof hair care products exist in Tyria.

- Eir: “You get one asura killed and suddenly everyone can’t stop reminding you about it.” Logan: “Tell me about it. I leave one time and suddenly I’m a-” Rytlock: “If neither of you shut up, I’ll see if you can keep it up without tongues. And I might take the coward’s anyway for good measure.”

- Little known fact: while in other worlds the slang “whipped” has a very particular definition, in Tyria it’s referred to as “being Logan’d”.

- Queen Jennah is descended from a long line of Paragons. Want proof? Watch how fast her shout makes Logan move.

Sokar Rostau.7316:

For sale: Logan Thackeray’s sword. Never been used. Only dropped once.

Also for sale, Snaff’s Monocle. Slightly chewed. May smell like dragon.

Logan could be part of the guild bounty. You could run all over the zone and never find him!

He’s going to try out becoming the “face” for some old familiar products.
Energizer wants to use him to replace the pink bunny. Logan keeps going and going and going. John Deere Tractors also want to hire Logan. The problem is that he, himself is the shining example that proves their slogan “Nothing runs like a Deere” is factually wrong.

Logan Thackeray once succefully fled from Chuck Norris.

Logan Thackeray ran away to save the queen, of a republic.

Every matter needs an antimatter, Leeroy’s just happens to be named Logan.

Thuran.7624:

Every matter needs an antimatter, Leeroy’s just happens to be named Logan.

Logan: Logaaaaaaaan Thackeraaaaay!!!!
Rytlock: * facepalm *
Snaff: * Dies *
Caithe: Do we have a Soulstone?
Eir: Logan, why do you do that?
Logan: It’s not my fault!

Translation of the letter sent to human characters:

Dear skivy, something or some one is blah blah blah norn and charr blah bla, as a pretend favor to my “friends” of Destinies Edge I’m sending you (who I’ve only met once but I’ll pretend to trust with this “important” task) to do my dirty work for me because I can’t really be bothered and I don’t really care about them anymore as long as I look good.

I hacked the .dat files in gw2 to see what Destiny’s Edge sPvP rating was as a team. I removed Logan’s data from the file and the overall rating skyrocketed in every area except kiting.

I like Logan.
He made a mistake but admits it and is hurt by having done it, he apologizes and tries to remedy for it.
Usually people who make mistakes will say they are right at all costs or pretend it never happened.

He’s a much better person than Mr.Perfection Mary Sue Trahearne for sure.

This thread is great, many laughs were had. Now I need to think hard and come up with a Logan joke.

Why did Logan survive the Elder Dragon? He ran faster then Snaff!

in the army,its called AWOL.
in tyria,its called Logan thackerayed

(When fighting the Elder Dragon)
Logan: Oh crap the dragon’s going to get me! Better think of a plan…. Hey Snaff!
Snaff: What?
Logan: I’ve got a plan to distract the dragon, want to try it?
Snaff: Sure! What is it?
(Logan throws Snaff at Elder Dragon)
Logan: My queen is in danger! I leave the rest to you!(activates “Retreat” times infinity)
Rytlock: YOU COWARD!
Eir: Logan, come back! We need everyone for this!
Caithe:Don’t abandon us!
Zojja:… Where’s Snaff?
Elder Dragon: /belch

I used to protect Logan Thackeray. Then I got sick of his crap and asked a ranger to give me an arrow to the knee.

I found Logan to be worse than Traehearn. He was whiny and annoying. I hope he gets killed in Lore or has a major character overhaul.

After about the 12th time Logan died on a CM run I realized he was running the ever-elusive Glass Popgun build.

After leaving his friends to die, he’s still in the friend zone.

He just leeroyed away from the dragons.

He didin’t want 50 dkp minus for being within range of the tailswipe.

He watched “Wargames” and decided that the best move is not to play.

If Rytlock only pressed “F”, Snaff wouldn’t be dead.

Sure it’s always the tank’s fault when some ranged dies …

Logan was the one that had to stay behind to release the cord in Orr, because Mr. Sparkles was too important to the group.

The Comic Tragedy of Logan Thackeray

Starting off as Scout-for-hire, protection was his soul desire, in Ebonhawke he plied his trade, the name of Thackeray henceforth made.

A bond it formed unlikely pair, Human and Charr no stranger fare, and with Sylvari they made three, Destiny soon was meant to be.

Heroes six became life’s call, to battle forth and best them all, but cupid’s dart struck home one day, and turned his life another way.

A bond was formed with magic seal, a hero’s pledge to royal zeal, and if his Sire ever fear, call M’Lady I will appear.

Six life-bound souls became as one, smiting dragons had now begun, elder spawn they crashed and fell, with hero’s boot thrust back to Hell.

Twist of fate as it tends to do, a wrench in the works of our hero crew, and in a battle of epic fame, a call came forth in Logan’s name.

A pledge was made as well you know, and off to Queen forgotten foe, without a word away he fled, Destiny’s Edge thus left for dead

For he that fights and runs away, may live to fight for Queen that day, but he, who is in battle slain, allows the Queen to die in vain.

I must now make a meme pic of Logan: “I must go, my peo—-queen needs me!”

Logan Thackary left his team to go to Queen Jennah’s friendzone.

Q:How do you break Logan Thackeray’s finger?
A:Hit him in the nose.

Q:How do you get a one-armed Logan Thackeray out if a tree?
A:Flip him off

Erukk.1408:

Logan was the one that had to stay behind to release the cord in Orr, because Mr. Sparkles was too important to the group.

Funniest thing in this thread by far. Truthful too.

Fiennes.9568:

What’s the difference between Logan Thackery and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.

I thought it was that the bucket of manure was more useful and actually there when you need it…

The sharpest bit of contrast I noticed.

Soulstar.7812:

The sharpest bit of contrast I noticed.

The thing is that Logan didn’t run away because he was afraid, he got summoned and ’’mindcontrolled’’ by Queen Jennah when she was attacked by Kralkatorrik’s Branded in Ebonhawke :P

Logan Thackeray
Professional Skritt Burglar trainer.

This thread is a joke because it’s about Logan Thackeray.