Guild Wars 2

Dear Tyria,

I was laying out photosynthesizing and getting my Kreb’s cycle going the other day and some smart aleck Asuran walks by and thinks it’d befunny to tease me while eating his bowl of salad.

“Oh look at this. It’s so delicious. I’m eating my salad and you’re eating sunlight. Sucks to be you. Blah. Blah. Blah.”

So what do I do? I stand up. Grab the bowl of salad out of his hands. And munch real slow on a particularly juicy looking piece of tomato. He looks at me horrified and in disbelief.

“What are you? A cannibal??”

Just to prove my point further, I snatch the plate of meatballs from the wide mouthed smart As-uran and slowly eat one, licking the sauce of my lips afterwards.

“Listen you over-sized talking bunny rabbit, I’m a flipping omnivore. /wiki it sometime. But thanks for the +20% chance of swiftness and +30 toughness.”

And waypoint myself off to the Grove. Geez. Where did he graduate from? The College of Synergetics?

Well anyways, sorry if it seems like I woke up on the wrong side of the pod, but I digress. I guess what I’m trying to say is that theres a stereotype that we don’t eat meat or vegetables. I get it all the time:

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“No problem man. Go right on ahead and eat that apple. Its not a problem. I love a good apple pie and steak here and there just like you guys. "

I don’t know where this stereotype stems from, but I’m here to nip it at the root. I mean don’t get me wrong, nothing gets me going like getting the good old chlorophyll cells excited, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a burger or salad sometime. Except olives. Those things are disgusting. But anyways, don’t worry about what you eat in front of us. We don’t mind. But would it kill you to stay out of our sun sometime? Yeah I’m talking to you, you lumbering 9 foot tall Norn oaf. Go block that guys sun. Well that Leaves it at that. Thanks for listening to this Sylvari’s rant.

Sincerely,
A Sylvari that loves a good burger too

Very nice

/clap

“Listen you over-sized talking bunny rabbit,

yes, they definitely are

nice story, i liked it!

RashanDale.3609:

“Listen you over-sized talking bunny rabbit,

yes, they definitely are

nice story, i liked it!

But they are so cute

This is amazing!

Sylvari don’t do photosynthesis. And cannibalism is eating members of your own kind. For sylvari, that would be sylvari, and not plants.

ASaturnus.4980:

Sylvari don’t do photosynthesis. And cannibalism is eating members of your own kind. For sylvari, that would be sylvari, and not plants.

you must be fun at parties……

And they have sex too

Krosslite.1950:

And they have sex too

Yeah they do. As seen by the “fruits” of their labor.

Aeoleas.9721:

I don’t know where this stereotype stems from, but I’m here to nip it at the root.

I can’t even