Guild Wars 2

Well, two can play at that game.

Why was the centaur so unpopular?

He was a Ta-meanie.

How did the charr discover the undercover Ascalonian spy?

They could see right through him.

How many asura does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, but he needs 20 people to get the bulb back from the Inquest first.

Why did nobody laugh at the sylvari comedian?

He was too corny.

Why did the dredge return the mirror he bought?

He couldn’t see himself using it after all.

Where do Tyria’s aquatic species hate to shop?

At the Krait and Barrel.

What did Kralkatorrik say while forming the Brand?

Boy, this sure is hard.

Why did the human female buy a set of Tier 3 medium cultural armor?

It was half-off.

What did the Risen Shopkeeper say to retain customers?

“Return. Buy.”

Why didn’t anyone trust the patrolman’s word?

He said he was a Lionguard.

How did Orr get its name?

Because when someone suggests going there, everyone else says “Orr we could go somewhere that doesn’t suck.”

What keeps Kralkatorrik’s minions obedient?

Brand loyalty.

Why was Mad King Thorn so crazy?

Genetic diseases caused by generations of inbreeding in his royal family line.

Why did the pygmy centaur buy cough syrup?

He was a little hoarse.

Why isn’t the Mad King any good at debates?

He relies too much on straw men.

What happened to Destiny’s Edge?

They erred. (It was Logan’s fault though)

What do you get when a sylvari hooks up in Hoelbrak?

Norn on the cob.

Is the Pale Tree really a pale tree?

Some people think it’s silver-y.

How do sylvari get into politics?

With a grassroots campaign.

Why did the norn give up on the festival?

It was moot.

Did you hear the one about the Clash Warband?

They really rocked the fahrar.

So ANet, where’s my kingdom?

Dear god no! dont give them fodder for next year …..WHY!!!!

Because next year I’ll be the mad king.

OMG OMG I love his jokes! :D They’re so “punny” ^_^ Whoever wrote those should start writing lines for Stephen Colbert! :D

Good effort, these were pretty amusing!

Nearly fell off my chair at “Return. Buy.”

I really did laugh out loud at “Norn on the cob”. I love punny jokes.

Well done.

You win all the internets for the day.

The human female T3 got me hahahaha

“Norn on the Cob”

Absolutely brilliant xD

These. Are. Amazing.

“They could see right through him”

Lole`d the kitten out of me lol

The one about Orr is soooo true…lol

You just might have a future as a joke writer for ANet!

I do like the Orr one.

Norn on the Cob and the Risen shopkeeper got a few chuckles out of me. Well done.

Okay so the Halloween event is over but I have neither a crown nor a clock tower. What’s the deal?

Brand loyalty….Very nice XD

some were eh, but some were pretty good. kudos.

Alright, I guess I didn’t give them enough the first time.

Fine.

What do you get when you stand on the shores of Orr for too long?

A Zhai-tan.

What does the Lionguard use to deal with flat feet?

Lion’s Arch supports.

What did the atheist say when he first arrived in Malchor’s Leap?

“There is no Dwayna, only ghoul.”

What did one norn say to the other norn?

“Bear with me.”

Why were Kooraloo and Meelamoop evicted from the Lion’s Arch sewers?

They were quaggan up the pipes.

What did the Risen Philosopher say when he awoke?

“Return. Why?”

Why didn’t the cool kids hang out in Rata Sum?

It was nothing but a bunch of squares.

What do you call a sylvari after a meal?

Chlorofull.

I’m waiting.

Oh man these had me busting out laughing! Very clever Hyena!

Why were Kooraloo and Meelamoop evicted from the Lion’s Arch sewers?
They were quaggan up the pipes. <— LOL!

Very good. Have one from me as well:

What is the Sylvari leader called?
Der Fir-rer

On the last day of the event I took a walk through Lion’s Arch with King Thorn and listened to all of his bad jokes. I then proceeded to invade his labyrinth one last time to slay an army of candy corn elementals and then the server rebooted. T’was a nice finish.

Why can’t you let a risen know you’re throwing a party?

Because they would tell EVERYONE COME and the party would get out of control.

How many Grawl does it take to put in a light bulb.

They don’t put in light bulbs. They SWARM THEM!

Hyena.7963:

Alright, I guess I didn’t give them enough the first time.

Fine.

What do you get when you stand on the shores of Orr for too long?

A Zhai-tan.

What did one norn say to the other norn?

“Bear with me.”

these two had me laughing. i honestly wouldn’t mind ANet taking some of those and adding in next year.