Guild Wars 2

Disclaimer: This is a playful thread. It is intended to stimulate some lighthearted and fun discussion regarding an imaginary class previously mentioned as a joke by Colin Johnson. As such, have some fun with it!

So as I stated in the above disclaimer, this just to stimulate some fun discussion of Colin’s ‘Sandwichmancer’ class.

What are your thoughts on this imaginary profession?
What armor class would it be?
What weapons would it use?
What skills would those weapons have?
What traits/traitlines would it offer?

I’m not sure why it stuck with me, but since I couldn’t sleep the other night, I was playing with some of the options. I can see this as being a light or medium armor class, although I’m leaning more towards medium (complete with an apron as part of the armor).

As for weapons:

Bow (short/long/recurve) – two hands – shoots submarine style sandwiches (we have one that shoots rainbows, so hey why not)

Rifle – two hands – Also shoots submarine style sandwiches

Pistol – off hand – shoots little hors d’oeuvres sandwiches (like at high end parties)

Daggers – either hand – foot long submarine sandwich styled daggers

Nunchuck (new) – main hand – sandwich on each end, connected by a chain of sausage links

Shuriken (new) – either hand – throwing star shaped PB&J…you’ll never look at it the same again

That’s as far as I got before I fell asleep. What can I say? I was tired, but it was fun none the less.

So, your thoughts?

It must have an attack simmilar to the elementalist’s dragon’s tooth but instead of a flaming dragon’s tooth, a piece of bread appears on top of the target, with another one appearing under it, impairing movement..

locoman.1974:

It must have an attack simmilar to the elementalist’s dragon’s tooth but instead of a flaming dragon’s tooth, a piece of bread appears on top of the target, with another one appearing under it, impairing movement..

Except hopefully, unlike Dragon’s Tooth, not designed to always miss it’s target. :P

ColinJohanson.2394:

When you use the roast beef skill, and follow it up with Au Jus utility you get the FRENCH DIP combo.

It’s way overpowered btw and total BS and Anet needs to balance it.

It’s way overpowered btw and total BS BK and Anet needs to balance it

FTFY. You should know better than that! Unless you meant Bologna Sandwich!

http://guildwars2.mmorpgmania.it/wp-content/gallery/gw2-italia-cup-2013/gw2_toaster.png

Elite: toast express

A falling toaster from the sky , stun and burn all targets in the area( burning will affect the whole area for 30 seconds) , 33% chance to carbonize and instant kill the enemy in the area.
Field : fire field.
Finisher : Combo finisher blast.
Fatality : 33% chance “The Sandwichmancer judgment”

Area range : 2500
Duration : 30 sec.
CD : 31 sec.

ColinJohanson.2394:

When you use the roast beef skill, and follow it up with Au Jus utility you get the FRENCH DIP combo.

It’s way overpowered btw and total BS and Anet needs to balance it.

And you know this how? Dammit I knew this was all one giant conspiracy…honest onion! You know me…I’m the lick on your taco shells.

I think ColinJohanson is such a phony name i mean really why not go Scarlet Sowannajohanson or Colin Sohansom…or hell I’d even buy ColinJohanson.#1234 cause that’s predictable but this whole 2394 must have a hidden meaning.. I’m sure of it! 2nd son if the 3rd daughter of a 94 year old mummy! Wait that’s it the expansion pack has mummies! Never mind maybe it’s bed time.

After careful study, I have determine that you can tell casuals from hard core in this profession. Casuals use white bread skills without crust. Hard core uses 2 day old whole wheat bread skills with vegamite topping.

If this were an engineer style gameplay we’d spill a large puddle of Au Jus on the floor, better wear your non stick shoes to work!

And we’d throw these tiny Hors D’eurvres at people’s mouths to have an explosion of flavor.

ColinJohanson.2394:

When you use the roast beef skill, and follow it up with Au Jus utility you get the FRENCH DIP combo.

It’s way overpowered btw and total BS and Anet needs to balance it.

The Au Jus food buff is crucial to CoF speed runs. Anet only cares about PvP…

sounds like sandwichmancer should have a chain skill:

(1) Atherosclerosis
→ (2) Deep Vein Thrombosis
→ (3) Myocardial Infarction

applies cripple + burning

Flavor Explosion Skill Type
Creates an explosion of flavor in the target area. Flavor explosions can burst, destroying the explosion area and creating a flavor elemental.

Skills
Habenero Chili: Fire field, inflicts burning and weakness on enemies
Flavor Burst: Burst the Habanero Chili field to create a Chili Elemental that follows you and pulses might for six seconds.
Smooth Mayo: Gives vigor to allies and dodges within the field go double distance
Flavor Burst: Burst the Smooth Mayo field to create a Mayo Elemental that follows you and pulses regeneration for six seconds.
Tangy Teriyaki: Ethereal field, knockdowns last twice as long within the field.
Flavor Burst: Burst the Tangy Teriyaki field to immediately knock all enemies in the field down and create a Teriyaki Elemental which follows you and strips enemy boons for six seconds.

Elite
Cool Ranch: Gives protection and regeneration to allies, doubles the effectiveness of all other flavor explosions.
Flavor Burst: Creates a Cool Ranch elemental which acts as a water field but remains stationary, and refreshes the duration of any flavor elementals

Sandwitchmancers are obviously too strong and immortal if they use their Fresh buns heal and Bacon with Eggs if there is a Sodamentalist that are spamming Sprite spray in range.

Pfft Cheesemers are better.

Weapons: Bread Knife and Toothpick (staff)
Armor: Light

And I feel that it should be able to throw eggs for some reason :P

I heard “The Sandwichmancer” can cook prenerf Omnomberry Ghost/Pies. However he can also cook the still OP Bowl of Lemongrass Poultry Soup

Elite Skill

Turn yourself into a sandwich, granting stability and delicious cold turkey.

Rye of the Kaiser: Signet. Cooldown 30 seconds. Passive: Grants Fury, Retaliation and Quickness. Active: You down nearby foes in one bite.

Elite
Sacrificial Tuna Sandwich: Turn self into sandwich. Allies may eat you in order to fully heal and gain +100 to all stats for 1 hour. All nearby enemies are drawn to your alluring deliciousness and are downleveled to 1 until slain.

A sandwichmancer specced for condition damage is nasty. They throw slices of green bologna meat covered with mayonnaise that has been left in out in the heat for 2 days. The stink deals immediate damage and the germs do long lasting damage unless you can cleanse yourself thoroughly.

I actually started a fan art a long time ago for this profession after its mention… I need to finish things. If I find the sketch, I’ll upload it.

As was stated on this thread here:
https://forum-en.gw2archive.eu/forum/wuv/wuv/Where-is-the-promised-Commando-Class/first

By Devon Carter of WvW (the superior gametype),
The Sandwichmancers are coming in before the Commando class. And there will be new weapons added to the game for them. An example he gave was the Ciabatta weapon set.

French Dip combos are overpowered! What on earth is Anet thinking!

French Dip Combo + Timewarp = Sandwich Tornado instant wipe. Nerf it!

Stealth Sandwich nerf is required.

I can just see sandwichmancer bunker builds AOE-ing gluttony, and ppl around blowing up…

Kind of makes you want to dual-wield salamis, no?

(Warning: You must be specced 30 points into Meat and 30 points into Gluttony to unlock this ability.)

Elite: 200 oz Steak

Summons a giant 200 oz Steak. All enemies and allies within the area have six seconds to get to their plates and finish the steak. Failure to do so results in automatically being forced to pay the cost of failing to finish their meal: death.

Applies: Cripple
Field: Area of Effect knockback field that randomly pulses and pushes everyone away from it. (Stability useful.)

Don’t forget the pistol skill – “Mayo Shot”. Targets ground, affecting area. The enemy is blinded, and there is a slippery effect (slowness and random chance to fall).

The optimal weapon setup would obviously be dagger/dagger: maximum condiment application, quick club sandwich quartering, easy deli meat slicing, and cheesesteak meat chopping. Ocassionally this is swapped for dagger/focus for a more intense sandwich build.

Spicy mustard to the eyes (blind and bleed)
Ketchup Stain (fake death for aggro drop)
6ft sub to the face! (knockdown smash)
T-bone steak lure (trap/pull)
Gluttony (channelled; forces food down opponent’s mouth, causing -66% run speed)
Canthan Lettuce Wrap (immob w/ bleed)

I imagine the sandwichmancer to a ‘throw dwarf bread’ skill which would cause 4 stacks of bleeding, -80% movement speed and a 10% chance of a raisin in the eye which would cause blindness for 10 seconds.
I love the idea of a spicy mustard to the eyes skill though, utterly brilliant!

One of the elite skills is the Philly Cheese Steak Golem that comes to your aid with a Heartburn attack and sauteed onion bolos

Because it has the suffix “-mancer” it has close to a hundred bugs which are painstakingly detailed in a forum thread and ignored by the developers.

cough https://forum-en.gw2archive.eu/forum/professions/necromancer/Necromancer-Bug-Compilation-Mk-II cough

ColinJohanson.2394:

When you use the roast beef skill, and follow it up with Au Jus utility you get the FRENCH DIP combo.

It’s way overpowered btw and total BS and Anet needs to balance it.

OMG R O F L!

-Extra power near a cooking station. (hea, then everyone wants those consortium portable crafting-thingies!)
-Skills interrupt/fear is applied when being yelled at: “Go back to the kitchen!”

Hehe, I leave this alone for two days, and come back to good chuckles. Much <3