Guild Wars 2

For me it’s every one of my chars saying to Canach:

“I just like having your company Canach”.

Yeah right!

So, what is the greatest lie you have heard your char or some other npc say? Post em here, can’t wait to hear em!

They lied to my Norn warrior about being the mighty Slayer.

The story is, my Norn went and killed a giant ice wurm on her first day. Which was true enough. But when you check the details, the story is different.

Issormir is a giant Ice Wurm which was captured by Knut Whitebear and Eir Stegalkin from Lostvyrm Cave.

Knut Whitebear: By my own hand, I have brought the mighty wurm, Issomir. He waits above, in the plateau, for one such as you to challenge him

Those 2 went to the cave where that wurm was, captured it and got it all the way up those stairs into that tiny enclosure. Then they left it there, probably without food or water until the “Great Hunt” when they pointed it out to my warrior and told her to go kill it. Basically, she killed an animal fetched for her by someone else and staked out in a pen. For that she got the title of Slayer of Issormir.

Trahearne: The dragons are not stars in the sky. They can be counted. They can be fought. One day, we will kill the last of them. Only then will Tyria be safe.

sure trahearne, suuuuuure……

They told me I was a hero, a God Walking Amongst Mere Mortals, Wurm’s Bane, The Executioner, a Trailblazer, Golden, Chosen, The Sunbringer. Then I got pwned by a short guy dressed as a mushroom and beaten up by a house plant.

“I could outrun a centaur!”

Paulytnz.7619:

For me it’s every one of my chars saying to Canach:

“I just like having your company Canach”.

Yeah right!

So, what is the greatest lie you have heard your char or some other npc say? Post em here, can’t wait to hear em!

I thought that was sarcasm.

Although maybe that was just how I interpreted it because given the opportunity most of my characters are quite sarcastic.

My male Sylvari saying ‘You rarely see one of these’ when I receive some Bloodstone Dust…

Danikat.8537:

Paulytnz.7619:

For me it’s every one of my chars saying to Canach:

“I just like having your company Canach”.

Yeah right!

So, what is the greatest lie you have heard your char or some other npc say? Post em here, can’t wait to hear em!

I thought that was sarcasm.

Although maybe that was just how I interpreted it because given the opportunity most of my characters are quite sarcastic.

It was, which is why it is the greatest lie ever told.

Keep em coming guys, some good ones here already!

Caithe promises she won’t kill my buddy, Gareth, but she kills him every time. Why, Caithe?

My asura warrior/berserker saying I’ll destroy you all! When everyone knows a warrior couldn’t hurt a fly

When I say larenther of the wild has my trust, when in fact, it’s that I don’t leave people behind, I don’t trust Sylvari till mordramoth is dead. But that’s just me.

I’m supposed to be the Commander of the Pact, yet everybody in Maguuma pretend they have the same title. Liars. All liars!

Every time anyone says the elder dragons are a threat.

The greatest lie ever told….something something 16 new legendary weapons……

“The war can’t last forever”

Dinks.2478:

The greatest lie ever told….something something 16 new legendary weapons……

Which NPC said that?! I never heard that before

Keep in mind per the OP the thread is about what NPCs have said.

Warcry.1596:

Dinks.2478:

The greatest lie ever told….something something 16 new legendary weapons……

Which NPC said that?! I never heard that before

Keep in mind per the OP the thread is about what NPCs have said.

wooooops, didn’t read that far. I guess if its NPCs its the whole Evon vs Kiel voting thing. The election was rigged so the NPCs were lying!

Dinks.2478:

Warcry.1596:

Dinks.2478:

The greatest lie ever told….something something 16 new legendary weapons……

Which NPC said that?! I never heard that before

Keep in mind per the OP the thread is about what NPCs have said.

wooooops, didn’t read that far. I guess if its NPCs its the whole Evon vs Kiel voting thing. The election was rigged so the NPCs were lying!

How was it rigged..?

Randulf.7614:

Dinks.2478:

Warcry.1596:

Dinks.2478:

The greatest lie ever told….something something 16 new legendary weapons……

Which NPC said that?! I never heard that before

Keep in mind per the OP the thread is about what NPCs have said.

wooooops, didn’t read that far. I guess if its NPCs its the whole Evon vs Kiel voting thing. The election was rigged so the NPCs were lying!

How was it rigged..?

Ellen Kiels changes were datamined before the voting ended. Evon Gnashblades? nope.. Not to mention they couldn’t shoehorn Scarlet into an abaddon Fractal like they could into the reactor. And I am still yet to meet somebody who supported Kiel…. after meeting hundreds of players…

“I could outrun a centaur!” → gets run over by a centaur right after

Dinks.2478:

Ellen Kiels changes were datamined before the voting ended. Evon Gnashblades? nope.. Not to mention they couldn’t shoehorn Scarlet into an abaddon Fractal like they could into the reactor. And I am still yet to meet somebody who supported Kiel…. after meeting hundreds of players…

All that would require is time traveling and that was already established in the Asura personal story. The steam creatures were also part of that and Scarlet was already using them.

Dinks.2478:

Randulf.7614:

Dinks.2478:

Warcry.1596:

Dinks.2478:

The greatest lie ever told….something something 16 new legendary weapons……

Which NPC said that?! I never heard that before

Keep in mind per the OP the thread is about what NPCs have said.

wooooops, didn’t read that far. I guess if its NPCs its the whole Evon vs Kiel voting thing. The election was rigged so the NPCs were lying!

How was it rigged..?

Ellen Kiels changes were datamined before the voting ended. Evon Gnashblades? nope.. Not to mention they couldn’t shoehorn Scarlet into an abaddon Fractal like they could into the reactor. And I am still yet to meet somebody who supported Kiel…. after meeting hundreds of players…

You just met someone.

Randulf.7614:

You just met someone.

Ditto.

Also, you need to wear your tinfoil hat when you make Conspiracy Theory posts, Dinks! https://www.reddit.com/r/Guildwars2/comments/1jrhkl/alternate_universe_evon_gnashblade_wins_mail_and/

RoseofGilead.8907:

Randulf.7614:

You just met someone.

Ditto.

Also, you need to wear your tinfoil hat when you make Conspiracy Theory posts, Dinks! https://www.reddit.com/r/Guildwars2/comments/1jrhkl/alternate_universe_evon_gnashblade_wins_mail_and/

I provided facts… the new fractal and everything were in for Kiel, Evon nope… Conspiracy theory my kitten .

Dinks.2478:

RoseofGilead.8907:

Randulf.7614:

You just met someone.

Ditto.

Also, you need to wear your tinfoil hat when you make Conspiracy Theory posts, Dinks! https://www.reddit.com/r/Guildwars2/comments/1jrhkl/alternate_universe_evon_gnashblade_wins_mail_and/

I provided facts… the new fractal and everything were in for Kiel, Evon nope… Conspiracy theory my kitten .

You provided no facts. Neither fractal was in development (other than maybe the very basics) until after the election. Dialogue was recorded for both Kiel and Gnashblade (including a victory speech for each one). Sooo, yup. Conspiracy theory.

^—— I have to agree with this, just finding some data mined files doesn’t mean the vote was rigged.

I voted for Ellen, and alot of my friends did as well.

Dinks.2478:

And I am still yet to meet somebody who supported Kiel…. after meeting hundreds of players…

I voted for Kiel.

“You asked for this!’ said by an NPC sylvari being escorted as he runs off at right angles from the path to stab a yellow-tagged boar that was just rooting after truffles or something.

(I also voted for Kiel. Mostly because ICly Sir Donari is very partial to human women, and OOCly my RL name is Ellen … also I was curious about Thaumanova).

Just a flesh wound.3589:

They lied to my Norn warrior about being the mighty Slayer.

The story is, my Norn went and killed a giant ice wurm on her first day. Which was true enough. But when you check the details, the story is different.

Issormir is a giant Ice Wurm which was captured by Knut Whitebear and Eir Stegalkin from Lostvyrm Cave.

Knut Whitebear: By my own hand, I have brought the mighty wurm, Issomir. He waits above, in the plateau, for one such as you to challenge him

Those 2 went to the cave where that wurm was, captured it and got it all the way up those stairs into that tiny enclosure. Then they left it there, probably without food or water until the “Great Hunt” when they pointed it out to my warrior and told her to go kill it. Basically, she killed an animal fetched for her by someone else and staked out in a pen. For that she got the title of Slayer of Issormir.

• You were level 1. What do you expect?
• Norn have a tradition of bragging and exaggerating — it’s all part of the rite of passage. Norn are supposed to lie about their great deeds. This was your starter lie.

ekarat.1085:

Just a flesh wound.3589:

They lied to my Norn warrior about being the mighty Slayer.

The story is, my Norn went and killed a giant ice wurm on her first day. Which was true enough. But when you check the details, the story is different.

Issormir is a giant Ice Wurm which was captured by Knut Whitebear and Eir Stegalkin from Lostvyrm Cave.

Knut Whitebear: By my own hand, I have brought the mighty wurm, Issomir. He waits above, in the plateau, for one such as you to challenge him

Those 2 went to the cave where that wurm was, captured it and got it all the way up those stairs into that tiny enclosure. Then they left it there, probably without food or water until the “Great Hunt” when they pointed it out to my warrior and told her to go kill it. Basically, she killed an animal fetched for her by someone else and staked out in a pen. For that she got the title of Slayer of Issormir.

• You were level 1. What do you expect?
• Norn have a tradition of bragging and exaggerating — it’s all part of the rite of passage. Norn are supposed to lie about their great deeds. This was your starter lie.

They LIED to her. She was TRAUMATIZED when she found out she had killed some poor animal that had been captured, put in a pen with no food or water for no telling how long, and staked out for her to kill.

To make it worse, it wasn’t even an aggressive, dangerous wurm.

Issormir is a giant Ice Wurm which was captured by Knut Whitebear and Eir Stegalkin from Lostvyrm Cave. It is used as the main hunt for The Great Hunt in 1325 AE. It appears only after becoming enraged at the deaths of its hatchlings. After its death, Issormir’s Body remains, frozen, as norn nearby figure out how to clean up the corpse.

You see that part, he only appears after you kill his hatchlings. This was just some poor wurm dad doing babysitting duty in his cave, not bothering no one. Just chillin and thinking deep wurm thoughts. He’s there to protect and defend his babies. So, he was just sitting there and he and his babies get kidnapped, hauled up the stairs and dumped in a pen. Then murdered.

This was an awful event in my warrior’s life where she was lied to and undue peer pressure was exerted to kill some poor, innocent wurm dad and his babies. They gave her that title then I bet they went off to drink beer and laugh their butts off at her.

Edit: I voted for Kiel too. ^^

penelopehannibal.8947:

Dinks.2478:

And I am still yet to meet somebody who supported Kiel…. after meeting hundreds of players…

I voted for Kiel.

As did I, never trust the Charr.

That line always read as very sarcastic to me.

They lied to my Norn warrior about being the mighty Slayer.

The story is, my Norn went and killed a giant ice wurm on her first day. Which was true enough. But when you check the details, the story is different.

Issormir is a giant Ice Wurm which was captured by Knut Whitebear and Eir Stegalkin from Lostvyrm Cave.

Knut Whitebear: By my own hand, I have brought the mighty wurm, Issomir. He waits above, in the plateau, for one such as you to challenge him

Those 2 went to the cave where that wurm was, captured it and got it all the way up those stairs into that tiny enclosure. Then they left it there, probably without food or water until the “Great Hunt” when they pointed it out to my warrior and told her to go kill it. Basically, she killed an animal fetched for her by someone else and staked out in a pen. For that she got the title of Slayer of Issormir.

And Eir was there fighting it aswell.

Just a flesh wound.3589:

ekarat.1085:

Just a flesh wound.3589:

They lied to my Norn warrior about being the mighty Slayer.

The story is, my Norn went and killed a giant ice wurm on her first day. Which was true enough. But when you check the details, the story is different.

Issormir is a giant Ice Wurm which was captured by Knut Whitebear and Eir Stegalkin from Lostvyrm Cave.

Knut Whitebear: By my own hand, I have brought the mighty wurm, Issomir. He waits above, in the plateau, for one such as you to challenge him

Those 2 went to the cave where that wurm was, captured it and got it all the way up those stairs into that tiny enclosure. Then they left it there, probably without food or water until the “Great Hunt” when they pointed it out to my warrior and told her to go kill it. Basically, she killed an animal fetched for her by someone else and staked out in a pen. For that she got the title of Slayer of Issormir.

• You were level 1. What do you expect?
• Norn have a tradition of bragging and exaggerating — it’s all part of the rite of passage. Norn are supposed to lie about their great deeds. This was your starter lie.

They LIED to her. She was TRAUMATIZED when she found out she had killed some poor animal that had been captured, put in a pen with no food or water for no telling how long, and staked out for her to kill.

To make it worse, it wasn’t even an aggressive, dangerous wurm.

Issormir is a giant Ice Wurm which was captured by Knut Whitebear and Eir Stegalkin from Lostvyrm Cave. It is used as the main hunt for The Great Hunt in 1325 AE. It appears only after becoming enraged at the deaths of its hatchlings. After its death, Issormir’s Body remains, frozen, as norn nearby figure out how to clean up the corpse.

You see that part, he only appears after you kill his hatchlings. This was just some poor wurm dad doing babysitting duty in his cave, not bothering no one. Just chillin and thinking deep wurm thoughts. He’s there to protect and defend his babies. So, he was just sitting there and he and his babies get kidnapped, hauled up the stairs and dumped in a pen. Then murdered.

This was an awful event in my warrior’s life where she was lied to and undue peer pressure was exerted to kill some poor, innocent wurm dad and his babies. They gave her that title then I bet they went off to drink beer and laugh their butts off at her.

Real Norn don’t cry after pointlessly slaughtering an innocent creature — they lie about it and make that innocent creature into a threat, and then go drinking! That is the Norn way.

PS Where is the quote about Issormir from?

Just a flesh wound.3589:

ekarat.1085:

Just a flesh wound.3589:

They lied to my Norn warrior about being the mighty Slayer.

The story is, my Norn went and killed a giant ice wurm on her first day. Which was true enough. But when you check the details, the story is different.

Issormir is a giant Ice Wurm which was captured by Knut Whitebear and Eir Stegalkin from Lostvyrm Cave.

Knut Whitebear: By my own hand, I have brought the mighty wurm, Issomir. He waits above, in the plateau, for one such as you to challenge him

Those 2 went to the cave where that wurm was, captured it and got it all the way up those stairs into that tiny enclosure. Then they left it there, probably without food or water until the “Great Hunt” when they pointed it out to my warrior and told her to go kill it. Basically, she killed an animal fetched for her by someone else and staked out in a pen. For that she got the title of Slayer of Issormir.

• You were level 1. What do you expect?
• Norn have a tradition of bragging and exaggerating — it’s all part of the rite of passage. Norn are supposed to lie about their great deeds. This was your starter lie.

They LIED to her. She was TRAUMATIZED when she found out she had killed some poor animal that had been captured, put in a pen with no food or water for no telling how long, and staked out for her to kill.

To make it worse, it wasn’t even an aggressive, dangerous wurm.

Issormir is a giant Ice Wurm which was captured by Knut Whitebear and Eir Stegalkin from Lostvyrm Cave. It is used as the main hunt for The Great Hunt in 1325 AE. It appears only after becoming enraged at the deaths of its hatchlings. After its death, Issormir’s Body remains, frozen, as norn nearby figure out how to clean up the corpse.

You see that part, he only appears after you kill his hatchlings. This was just some poor wurm dad doing babysitting duty in his cave, not bothering no one. Just chillin and thinking deep wurm thoughts. He’s there to protect and defend his babies. So, he was just sitting there and he and his babies get kidnapped, hauled up the stairs and dumped in a pen. Then murdered.

This was an awful event in my warrior’s life where she was lied to and undue peer pressure was exerted to kill some poor, innocent wurm dad and his babies. They gave her that title then I bet they went off to drink beer and laugh their butts off at her.

Issormir was female. If she was male, and trapped in a tiny area, where did the hatchlings come from?

Greatest lie? That’s a tough one. I’m not sure … but I’m pretty sure it had to have been spoken by an Asura. I’m also pretty sure it had something to do with some experiment being perfectly safe.

@ekarat
Quote about Issomir: http://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Issomir

@IndigoSundown
He’s always referred to as masculine or it, never feminine.
http://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/The_Great_Hunt

Knut Whitebear: By my own hand, I have brought the mighty wurm, Issormir. He waits above, in the plateau, for one such as you to challenge him.
Knut Whitebear: The great Eir Stegalkin watches over him now, waiting for the hunt to commence. When it is time, you and the others will go to the high ground over the valley

Eir Stegalkin: Onward! To glory!
Eir Stegalkin: There’s our prey! Go on, hunter, show us what you can do!
Eir Stegalkin: Keep at him! Don’t let Garm have all the fun!
Eir Stegalkin: He’s reeling. Let’s finish him off!
Eir Stegalkin: All hail the Slayer of Issormir! Now, return to the Snowlord’s Gate as no mere hunter, but a champion!

Both Eir and Knut say it’s a male. Knut is the one that captured him and got him up to that pen. I’m sure a Norn warrior and a famous Norn ranger can tell the difference between a male and female. Where did the babies come from, from mom of course. They captured him in his cave, took him there and they obviously captured his babies also.

Just a flesh wound.3589:

@ekarat
Quote about Issomir: http://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Issomir

Sadly, the wiki fails to state where that comes from. (Not your fault. I’m just curious where that info originally comes from.)

ekarat.1085:

Just a flesh wound.3589:

@ekarat
Quote about Issomir: http://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Issomir

Sadly, the wiki fails to state where that comes from. (Not your fault. I’m just curious where that info originally comes from.)

Yeah. They say that Knut personally captured him, but don’t say where, at least that I can see. Maybe it’s information from before the game, as it’s very specific to be something made up.

IndigoSundown.5419:

Issormir was female. If she was male, and trapped in a tiny area, where did the hatchlings come from?

She could have been impregnated earlier and and got her babies there…

Hmm, the greatest lie?

That must be when I thought I killed Logan and he turned out to be alive after all…

Its a rite of passage. Almost every rite of passage involve lies, social pressure and forced activities, and in more primitive societies, agression and killing are also common.
You could see it as brutal (and it is, really) but for Norn it is simply the first “official” really big game hunt before striding out of the village to kill even bigger things.

Getting bloodstone dust or similar from a chest

“you rarely see one of those”

Ardid.7203:

Its a rite of passage. Almost every rite of passage involve lies, social pressure and forced activities, and in more primitive societies, agression and killing are also common.
You could see it as brutal (and it is, really) but for Norn it is simply the first “official” really big game hunt before striding out of the village to kill even bigger things.

Oh sure, it’s common enough for young warriors in primitive societies to show they are ready for adulthood by going out on a hunt and killing a wild animal.

Except the “Great Hunt” here, wasn’t. There was no hunt at all. They told my warrior to go up those stairs and kill it. It was the killing of an animal that had been captured and put beforehand in a small enclosed area, and probably starved for several days, that couldn’t get away from you, and was forced to fight to defend its babies.

No wonder Norns exaggerate and lie about their deeds.

Dinks.2478:

And I am still yet to meet somebody who supported Kiel…. after meeting hundreds of players…

I voted Evon, but it was apparent that over half my guildmates voted for Kiel, and so did quite a few other players I met.

There was a clear bias in the election, but it was the candidates who were rigged, not the voting. Evon started out fairly neutral, but the writers seemed to quickly shift into overdrive to make him appear self-centered and deplorable, and then they continued to reinforce that through the later episodes of the LS. So even if you realized in advance that Kiel’s inexperience would ultimately make her a poor choice, they tried to justify her candidacy by going out of their way to make Evon look worse. Meanwhile, there may have even been some psychological / subliminal messaging factored into Kiel’s name choice to make voting for her more likely. Kiel is an anagram of “like”.

As for the greatest lie, I’m not sure if this one counts, but it definitely seems like the ramblings of a deranged centaur:
""I’ll crush your fragile bones with a flick of my mind." – Modniir Ulgoth, in the moments before being wiped by a zerg. Also considering that this occurs after destroying the big earth hands, and his attacks are primarily lightning and fire at this point of the battle, it’s not exactly clear how he expects to crush our bones with his mind.

eduardo.1436:

Trahearne: The dragons are not stars in the sky. They can be counted. They can be fought. One day, we will kill the last of them. Only then will Tyria be safe.

sure trahearne, suuuuuure……

I maybe just cried a lil

Greatest lie? A SAB villager once told me:

WARNING: Party members will not be able to join or rejoin their group once the zone has been entered.

“You can never have too much treasure”

Yes…yes you can. Esepcially if they are minor sigils/runes…

My character likes to exclaim “Sweet, sweet loot” as I get a Superior Rune of the Baelfire from forging some Major Runes. My character is a dirty liar.

Apatia, poor girl. She thought I would protect her, because I was a hero. That is not even the biggest lie, when my character is leaving his final mission with Apatia he says:

<Character name>: Is she alive? I need to get the orb to Trahearne at Fort Trinity right away, but I can’t abandon Apatia.

Sayeh al’ Rajihd: You have no choice. The krait overwhelmed her and took her. Among my people, we would say her steps have faltered and move on.

Sayeh al’ Rajihd: I will deliver the orb for you. I would enjoy visiting Trahearne again. I owe him, and largos always keep our oaths.

Sayeh al’ Rajihd: You should go, too. The krait will be back in force. The longer you stay, the more likely you’ll end up lost, dead, or on a torture rack. That won’t help your friend.

<Character name>: I’ll go. Trahearne needs that orb, and I need to be at Fort Trinity. But I will come back for Apatia. I swear it.

First he says he can’t abandon Apatia, and I’m thinking “yea lets do this” and a few words from an npc, and I’m like you know what never mind. I’ll be back one day Apatia….

*Comes back and proceeds to kill her (as undead) and claims it’s for the best. lol

I thought my character noble, but he’s just a street rat. XD

Lastly, can you even still play this storyline? I haven’t seen it in forever.

Loboling.5293:

Apatia, poor girl. She thought I would protect her, because I was a hero. That is not even the biggest lie, when my character is leaving his final mission with Apatia he says:

<Character name>: Is she alive? I need to get the orb to Trahearne at Fort Trinity right away, but I can’t abandon Apatia.

Sayeh al’ Rajihd: You have no choice. The krait overwhelmed her and took her. Among my people, we would say her steps have faltered and move on.

Sayeh al’ Rajihd: I will deliver the orb for you. I would enjoy visiting Trahearne again. I owe him, and largos always keep our oaths.

Sayeh al’ Rajihd: You should go, too. The krait will be back in force. The longer you stay, the more likely you’ll end up lost, dead, or on a torture rack. That won’t help your friend.

<Character name>: I’ll go. Trahearne needs that orb, and I need to be at Fort Trinity. But I will come back for Apatia. I swear it.

First he says he can’t abandon Apatia, and I’m thinking “yea lets do this” and a few words from an npc, and I’m like you know what never mind. I’ll be back one day Apatia….

*Comes back and proceeds to kill her (as undead) and claims it’s for the best. lol

I thought my character noble, but he’s just a street rat. XD

Lastly, can you even still play this storyline? I haven’t seen it in forever.

Yeah this story line always bugged me too. But I guess they had to have someone die off now and then to make it seem like a real threat (tybolt and other order people anyone?).

Apart from that, WOW just WOW soooo many lies, so many more than I thought and some pretty BIG ones too!

How about the Wintersday quest, Warming Grawnk’s Heart, where an poor orphan sends you a letter begging you to find his stolen ornaments.

You find them all right. And he pays you for them. But do you give the stolen ornaments back to him? Noooo. You don’t. You keep them and I bet most of you salvaged them right in front of him to get whatever you can to sell. Then you steal his one, solitary Wintersday present from underneath his tree, and then you leave.

You helping him get his stolen ornaments back was all a lie.

My Norn saying; ’It’s better than Moot loot." over receiving almost anything. He said it one time when I got a hard wood log. Like either he’s being sarcastic or Moot loot must suck. What do they give out at Moots; beatings? Well, considering they are Norn… maybe.