Guild Wars 2

Love it. Made me LOL.

As a fellow alt, I feel your pain. I’m a norn ranger and my puppet master decided to bring in a new ranger— a smaller, cuter asuran ranger that doesn’t hit her head on every jumping puzzle in existence. What do I have to offer against that? Leatherworking. Yay.

Granted, I prefer the colder zones and this new asura doesn’t mind the whole super-heated desert and sandstorm atmoshpere, but the jungle with its new lands… Come to think of it, maybe I’m better off hanging out in Hoelbrak.

My Puppet Master brings us everywhere in Tyria, equal opportunity. We are well geared with Exotic Pieces since he believes that Ascended and Legendary items are overrated. He said that the cost of one Ascended and Legendary piece can fully equip one of us with Exotic gears including runes and sigils. I believe him, we all do (even though Mr. Thief have Ascended trinkets — we just turn a blind eye). We do get make-over from time to time and Ms. Mesmer over there even got a boo…er, her asset improved.

Although it’s sad to see a fellow Alt being mistreated by their Puppet Master, we sure hope that things get better for you.

We’re with you! My puppetmaster only spends 1/29 of his time with us only.

-all 29 of my characters

I feel your pain! I used to be a powerful Necromancer, you know! I was there when it all began. Nay, 3 days before it all officially began, even! HE and I explored the world of Tyria together for the first time, seeing wonders none of us ever seen before.

Of course, there were others. Some mesmer? A ranger? I don’t know much about those, they prefered to hang out in the Mists. But I… I was HIS favourite for everything else. That is, until that one sad day.

No, it didn’t happen exactly like in your case. You see, my puppet master left. Left this world. For a few months, anyway. But I waited, knowing that he would return one day. I had faith. And I was right. Oh, how I rejoiced when I saw him again. There were still dungeons to plunder, jumping puzzles to solve, new zones to see, enemies to be killed, treasures to be found.

But then… it all changed. It happened slowly. At first, I ignored the new little engineer running clumsily across Queensdale. She was just a rookie. I was the big deal. Yes, my puppet master told me to lend her my Molten gathering tools, but I didn’t think it was such a big deal. Let the newbie deal with all the mining and chopping wood. There was no ore in Fractals of the Mists, after all. No wood in Arah. No herbs in Khylo. It made sense. I was destined for greater things than menial labour.

And then… then THAT day came. The rookie finally managed to get her lazy behind to level 80 (I still think she couldn’t have done it without the boosters she stole from MY bank – I pretended to look the other way, you see. I’m not heartless, I understand that not everyone is as naturally gifted at levelling as I was. She was even as rude as to steal a rare scroll that was a part of MY birthday gift – and thought that I wouldn’t notice). I started to suspect something the moment my puppet master sent me to the Hunstman crafting station. While I was a very skilled Hunstman (I know that you wouldn’t expect that from a Necromancer, but what can I say, I’m a very talented individual), he and I both agreed that the crafting discipline was quite unprofitable. So why would he order me to forge a brand new, shiny, exotic rifle? You guessed right…

When the weapon was finished, the final blow came. After giving my puppet master the rifle, he only extended his hand again… and asked for my Ascended rings, trinkets and even my necklace. Then, to rub salt in the wound, he bought gems with the gold that I earned by my heroic work, and bought a brand new Magitech armor set… not for me, as you might’ve guessed. Words cannot express the sorrow I felt after that betrayal.

Now, I am nothing. While my puppet master and the engineer are having fun running across the Silverwastes, or the Mists, or in one of the dungeons I have fond memories of (although that stupid engineer tends to shake her head at the performance of my fellow Necromancers whenever she meets one), I sit in Lion’s Arch. Useless. Forgotten. A few days ago, HE came by and asked if I wouldn’t want to do some killing at Skyhammer. Of course I jumped at the opportunity! But do you think he cared about me? Nope! After just one game, he took the reward chest and went off to run some Fractals… with the engineer, of course. That’s what I have become. A daily…

I am with you, fellow… erm… fellow alt (sorry, but the name of your profession leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Nothing personal) If nothing else, you can stop by while waiting in Lion’s Arch, waiting for an opportunity that will never come. I’d offer you a drink, but… every drink I ever had in my bank is now in HER possession along with all of my gold.

From the other side of the Great Wall of Ascalon…

My Puppet Master has seen fit to only create me. I’m alone in the world. I have no siblings, no one to share my stories, or be jealous of. I’m it.

My Puppet Master takes me out all the time. Sure, I get to do and see a lot of things, but my little Asuran body can only take so much. When will I get some rest? Puppet Master has named me Zerina In Aeternum, which means “Eternal”, I fear I may be doing this forever.

~sighs~

Speak for yourself, oh Ms. Goodie-two-shoes. The only reason you’re acting so apologetic is because ever since the gods of Tyria have weaken Mr. Thief that now he choose to spend more time with you.

Guardian this. Guardian that.

He builds you to cause burning when I’m the elemental specialist. Your pathetic excuse to try to defend our Puppet Master forces me to go Fire Attunement on you. If he wanted to burn things up he got me. I mean he even gave me a Molten Fused Gloves, Fire Staff, and Hellfire Mantle — and he picked you?

It’s time that he spend more time with all of us. So I’m joining this protest.

My name is Tallus Dach and I have been woefully used, abused and betrayed.

I used to be a member of my master’s harem of 8 level 80s until day another necro suddenly appeared and I was informed I had been demoted to a… to a…(oh I can hardly say it, the shame is overwhelming) to a puzzle jumper chest opener bank toon. (Sob). “Why? WHY?” I asked. The answer, “I really love the Norn necro facial mask and as a Sylvari, it doesn’t look the same on you”

I was shocked at such a trivial reason. My protestations were spoken to the empty chest I was forced to open and loot. I stood and watched while my rival gained in strength and power.

Then the true day of horror arrived. My master appeared before me with a name change contract in hand. I was forced to sign it. My rightful name was taken from me and given to that WITCH. That FIEND. She stood there smirking as she took my name and I was given hers. Then I was forcibly stripped of all my exotic armor, my weapons, my Acended jewels. My armor and weapons were smashed in front of me for the the few mats they would give and my jewelry was ripped from my body and used to adorn hers. I was given a few low level rags, and then they left me standing there, in the dark.

I stand in that dark, clammy cave now. Every day I open that chest and meekly hand over the contents. There is no justice. No appeal.

I was Slythy Toves. Now I am Tallus Dach. That was my story.

Norn Warrior here, Sad used Norn Warrior. Puppet master only wanted achievements and after all that is all done he goes back to puny Human Ranger to pew pew pew everyone at WvW and EotM.

Lies!

Human Ranger here, shut up Norn! Master may enjoy playing with me and yes the pew pew pew is fun but you don’t know what I saw master said to other people on chat. It breaks my heart that the only reason why I am pew pewing my way on WvW and EotM is because he is tired of the daily grind for your future upgrades! Yes you heard it, you are getting an upgrade and for me I get to stick with the Exotics. sob

sob
And here I am standing in the corner waiting to be deleted since he already got the key he needed from those key farm thing he heard from some guy over the mist. Just another alt for the key farm…

from the mist
Voice of Charr,Asura, and Slyvari
And you all enjoy the comforts of Master’s hand while we got deleted cause he only wanted to hear our story and never wanted us at all.

You know, I used to think like you. I’m the youngest of my Master’s troupe. He just HAD to recruit every profession (I always hear him discussing with our leader, his Engineer, about recruiting a Revenant). I was pretty upset when I first came around… I mean, sure, he spent hours helping me style my hair, pick my accessory (I LOVE my hair belt)… he even helped me get my ears just right (He says he loves how my ears point up when I’m fighting). But you wanna know how I trained? Books and scrolls.

I read 79 BOOKS and countless SCROLLS. I’m not the nerd here, that’s that jerk (though admittedly handsome in an “I’m so terrified I’m turned on” way) Mesmer and (only slightly) justifiably arrogant Engineer. I’m a Thief! I should have been training breaking off dagger blades in people’s backs, unloading pistols on someone’s face, and being a generally irritating stealthy troll! The Engineer got the glory of fighting Zhaitan, the Mesmer dominated the Mad King’s Labyrinth, the Ranger has seen more battles in the Edge of the Mists than she or her menagerie care to remember… I got books. IT’S NOT FAIR!

But I heard Him having a conversation with the Engineer and Mesmer the other day…

Five different characters a day to boost guild growth…
Daily, class-based, PvP rewards…
World exploration with each of us for Gifts of Exploration and skill points, in preparation for the masteries and “hero point” systems…
World boss tour cycling…

He just finished outfitting all of us, all 8 of us, with exotic equipment and ascended accessories (except the engineer, she’s got her ascended pistols and is working on ascended armor… lucky) with funds left over while the Engineer and Guardian are working on crafting the gifts for that incredibly gaudy pistol (He “affectionately” refers to it as “Pinkie Pie’s Party Pistol”; I don’t get it, but I REFUSE to use the thing), and he gave me, ME, a stack of those little one-use waypoint thingies to follow a friend around on a world boss train. He’s been taking the warrior on a tour of the world, the Ranger is STILL in the Mists (she secretly enjoys it), the Necromancer and Elementalist are working on joining the orders to get some free Order weapons (you’d think I’d be the greedy one as the Thief), and the Mesmer has parked himself next to those diving goggles in Dry Top; you can hear him laughing halfway across The Silverwastes every time he portals someone up there for a jump. And we all see action in the Heart of the Mists on a regular rotation.

Maybe you just need to remind your Master that there is room for her to enjoy something with everyone!

~Zyxta

I am a ranger… sigh…

Misty sighed heavily as she considered the words she had penned upon the parchment before her. It wasn’t that she was prone to complaining, but she simply couldn’t hold back her frustrations anymore. It seemed like just yesterday the world was at her feet. It was just her and the master adventuring across Tyria, seeking out every little corner and point of interest that the atlas had listed. Monsters and vagabonds alike suffered their end to her marks and wells, and the wonderous things they found together. She thought it would never end.

She never saw the change coming. It hit her out of the blue. One day she was this powerful necromancer that would face down any challenge, the next it was like the power just vanished. Misty sighed again.

“Not vanished.” she said sadly. She knew in her heart that it was more than just a loss of her ability to remove threats quickly. If she was honest with herself, it really started the day she recieved her glorious reward for exploring all the known lands. The master was very pleased with her, there was no doubt. He lavished her with gifts, and even bought a very expensive dye for her along with a day at the salon, but something had changed. His attentions shifted to her. To Amethyst.

It’s not that Amethyst was a bad person. They had enjoyed many wonderful conversations in the past, but the masters new infatuation with her left Misty feeling empty and used.

Misty walked across the room and looked at herself in the gilded floor lenght mirror. The fair skinned red-haired girl looking back at her was certainly young enough, and the master had used transmutation stones to adorn her with the best Orichalcum jewelry and exotic gossamer robes, so it certainly wasn’t her appearance.

No, it was them.

The clones.

Misty’s eyes flashed with a hint of anger as her mind filled with thoughs of the master adventuring across the world with Amethyst and her “twins”. Everyone in the group knew they weren’t real. They were just illusions, and part of the rather formidable skills that she added to the masters powers, but Misty could have sworn at times that he was just as fooled as any commoner.

She knew she was judging unfairly. She got along just fine with Amethyst now. Misty’s jealousy had come dangerously close to destroying what was a beautiful friendship, but then she witnessed Amethyst going through the same things that she herself had been through. The lavish gifts, and the seeming disinterest that arose after she was given her exploration rewards. Was that all they were to the master? Just a thing to pick up and explore tyria with and then be left to live out their days in the masters house doing next to nothing?

Misty snorted. At least Amethyst was called upon once in a while, but Misty didn’t envy her task. It appeared that the master only cared to call upon Amethyst when he needed her artificing skills to condense luck essense. For as much as she, a necromancer, dealt with gooey gutsy icky things, the luck essence was a substance that just made her shudder.

Judging the ink on the parchment to be dry, she carefully rolled it up and sealed it with wax. Her plea to the master to at least spend some time with each of them once in a while. It was a sensible request, she felt, and the others had agreed that it was time to bring it to the masters attention. With a wave of her hand, a white dove appeared out of the aether, snatched up the note, and flew out the window to deliver it to the master.

The bell tolled the late hour, and Misty set to preparing for sleep. She longed to have purpose again. Her life was comfortable enough, but she longed to be out and running across Tyria once more.

“Someday, my master, you will see” she whispered to the air.

“I am worthy.”

Most enjoyable post I’ve read on the forums in quite some time. Well done

Once upon a time I was happy Norn rangeress, darting across the snow, climbing to the summit of every mountain in the Shiverpeaks, along with my beloved Snowpaw, and I was the apple of my Mistress’ eye. Sure, I had to share my Mistress’ affection with an elementalist, but we two were content, given equal time and attention.

Then along came HIM. That. Other. Norn Ranger. The one that Mistress affectionatly calls a ‘beast’, with his spiky blond hair, and intense green eyes. Mistress began to neglect me, at first because Luci, the firstborn elementalist, was questing her way towards the pinnacle of advancement and a lovely set of exotic gear. I did not begrudge my sister in neglect this time, knowing in my heart of hearts I would be next.

I became even more convinced of this, when Mistress tasked me to use the talents inherent in my hands to learn to forge the best of weapons, and ply leather with the most skilled of Grandmasters. I was elated! I thought to myself ‘surely now Mistress will allow me the advancement of my sister elementalist! Why else would I be toiling away to craft the finest bolts of damask, and shiny ingots of deldrimore steel?’

Now, here I sit, granted with the knowledge of 71 levels, and I am all but chained to the crafting stations in my beloved Wayfarer Hills. Each day I am trotted out to create things for HIM, like that buttery-soft, perfect suit of ascended Sinister armor, or the gleaming axes that fell even the largest and most hateful of Mordrem Husks. Mistress even took away the last scrap of true fun that was left to me; my endless pink quaggan potion… and why? Yes, so that that, too, could be given to HIM!

Now I am but a mere slave, forced to make shiny and beautiful things for HIM, and my sister elementalist is trotted out but to battle Tequatl. We share the pain of our brother and sister alts, and all that I have learned is: Masters and Mistresses are but fickle creatures who’s affection can change like the wind that used to carry my arrows across the snow…

~The Forgotten Rangeress

Greetings! I go by the name of ‘Futtu’ and I belong to this mercenary company. There are 14 alts in my chapter called EU and I hear the same amount in the NA chapter. I am a bit unsure what the difference is, I just know I have never seen any of the NA alts. They just write letters.

Main? No, I am not a ‘main’. In fact, such a thing does not exist among us. Just alts. Well, except me. Apparently I am a ‘placeholder’. Every couple of days I am called to serve as ‘keyrunner’.

I have been assured that it is an important job, but it is also quite confusing and a bit humiliating. I have severe identity crisis. Every time I am needed, my face, my profession and often also my gender changes. Only the name stays, because ‘it is easy to type’ and it signifies that I am a ‘ghost from the future’. At the end of my run, I am left shivering in my underwear in Divinity’s Reach the few equipment I managed to scrounge together sold or salvaged. It is embarrassing.

Some day I will become an alt. Then I will no longer have this ‘easy to delete’ name, but a real one. Most likely I will become the necromancer to replace the one that is going to di… Oops! Not supposed to talk about that.

Anyway, one day I will matter too. And when the Keyboard Mistress is away, I will go moonlighting with the rest of the gang. Like the mice when the cat is out. And I too, will complain about not getting enough attention. I will join you all, brothers and sisters! Hang in there! Oh, and Tallus, cheer up, you have the better name now. At least I think so.

Celtic Lady.3729:

I say we, the Alts, unite! Tell me your stories of shame and pain! Take back your dignity! Together we will wrest our legendaries, ascended armor, makeovers, and right to explore the world from those snooty, spoiled Mains! WHO’S WITH ME?

Obey your masters! They allow you to continue to reside in a character slot and not to vanish into the oblivion.

My name is Rika the Restless. When I started exploring this world, it was vast. I drove off the centaur threat, defeated a mighty behemoth… Not even halfway through exploring the Kessex Hills, my puppet master brought me to the mists.
My puppet master was very fond of me, but he didn’t know, that all I ever wanted to do was see the world. So I was stuck in brutal arena fights, beating other players and soon becoming the finest fighter in my master’s lineup. Still hadn’t seen much of the world, still having nothing but the borrowed arena clothing.
My puppet master became more and more proficient at commanding my trusty pet companions. A lot of the knowledge about properly using a bow by reading the wind didn’t exist back then. I still racked up kills and created a strong bond with my pet companion.
One day, my puppet master came to me and said: “Both that Charr, I no longer want to speak of and the glorious warrior, Peacemaker Napp have been level 80 for a long time. It’s time for you to step out into the world. You are no longer an arena slave, from now on, you shall be free.”
Taking off that expensive arena armor and putting on my old rags, I went back to the Kessex Hills. It was still long before the Arena Fighter Liberation Act would allow arena fighters to wear their own clothes. With my well established bond to my pet, everything became a breeze. I went through the Gendarran Fields to the Harathi Hinterlands and kicked some centaur kitten .
In fact, my bond to my pet proved so potent, when I hit level 60 while crossing the Timberline falls, my master was shocked to find out, he never bought a master training manual(heh, you young ones probably don’t even know, what that is) and my armor was still sitting around level 30. Still, the unity between me and my birds was so strong, I could take down champions just by utilizing pet control from those months fighting in the arena.
Marching through the Timberline Falls, over to Fort Trinity and beyond, I finally reached level 80.
While I got exotics, he never really cared about my looks. One set is a mixture of temple and wvw armor, the other one still has the original crafted skin, but it was crafter from karka shells and passiflora.
Having to farm the passiflora and those shells helped a fellow alt with an even worse fate: Lorka Shredclaw, the Charr guardian, mostly just reffered to as “that cat of mine”. Her ability to reflect karka projectiles was utilized to slaughter some karka, then she was put back on the sidelines.
One day, a decisive event happened: A precursor was bestowed upon my puppet master during a visit to the mystic forge. He called me and gave me this beautiful shortbow, with feathers floating around and told me: “Rika, here’s a fine shortbow. Take good care of it.”
I was happy. Some time later, He came to me with an Asura Warrior, Peacemaker Napp, who handed me a Gift of Exploration. He said “hold this and don’t lose it. It’s important.”
Holding both a gift of exploration and a precursor, I felt confident.
The unfortunate cat also got some work after a long time of inactivity: My puppet master said: “Slay more Karka!” And she went off to Southsun to kill karka for Blood and Skelks for Fangs. I was happy. This was all, so I could get my legendary?
The truth was revealed like a kick to the guts. My puppet master came to me and said: “You still have the gift and the precursor, right? Here’s the other gifts. Throw it all into the mystic forge and put the Dreamer into the bank.”
My world wkittentered. That Norn thief had everything. Mix-matched armor, the Legendary, I always wanted, he even bought her bag slot expansions. While I was still running around with my plain skins and the shortbow, which used to be a precursor, was replaced by a dungeon reward track weapon. He didn’t even bother putting in any sigils.
Heart of Thorns was announced. He looked at the Ranger traits and liked them. He really liked them. But my hopes were shattered. He wants to replace me with a Norn or an Asura. Right now, the Norn seems more likely. I think, he wants to create a character with a very “druidic” look. Soon, I will join “that cat” as an unwanted character. I will probably just be “the weaponsmith”.
I feel abandoned, misled, deceived. I just want those days back, when all I did was fight opponents in the mists. I wish, I’d never left that arena to explore the open world. He had always promised me a full set of Human Tier 2 armor and even that promise was empty. I’ve never seen a single piece of that armor skin. When HoT comes around, I will probably have enough Hero Points from open world exploration to unlock everything, but he will still build up another ranger. That’s just not fair.

Great post OP.

I feel so sorry for my Elementalist & Mesmer who seem to have large layers of dust on them. Is it really there fault, that Anet made them so squishy in combat and the puppet master takes it as a personal affront if one of his puppets even gets downed, never mind actually dies…

Also the poor Ranger, originally back on day 1, the first ever puppet, travelling the length and breadth of Tyria. But the puppet master realised the Ranger had a ball & chain called the pet which held him back and caused him to under perform. The constant nerfs, buffs, nerfs, buffs and more nerfs, ment the Ranger has become a merchant, permanently haggling at the trading post.

Mine only ever cheats on me for the second and third time putting down that pesky dragon, or when fighting other puppet masters. That slightly younger thief got some attention recently, but all signs point to everyone but me being phased out.

Guess which of us is the only one with a signficant number of skill challenges completed?

Oh woe is me. Though I feel for you dear Alt, truly I do but I could only dream of an existence as wonderful as yours. You see, my name is Character Slot #6 and this is my story.

Now you might think, Slot #6, how special could that distinction be; there were 5 others before you. And yes you would be right but I was truly unique amongst my Slot brethren. You see, Slots 1-5 were common. They were created all at the same time when the world was new but I, the 6th slot, I was chosen. The Puppet Master spent Gems on ME! I was unique and I had a different purpose.

I was born about 2 years ago and for the first 15 months of my existence my life was very fulfilling. I was first filled by a Human Warrior; she was beautiful and powerful amongst her peers. Centaurs paled at hearing her name. She cut through a huge Earth Elemental nearly single handedly within the first few minutes of her existence and I must say that was quite impressive. Then without a thought for her wellbeing after such a glorious battle, she was immediately off to start adventuring. With blinding speed, sword and warhorn in hand, she cut through Bandits like butter. It was a beauty to behold but then something happened, she hit level 10. She jumped to Divinity’s Reach, to unload her inventory and vanished.

I was stunned, flabbergasted actually. Did I do something wrong? Did I not fulfill my obligation? Was I a bad Character Slot? I was empty inside. But fear not good folks the story does not end there; for not more than a few seconds later, she was back in all her glory. She looked exactly the same as she did before. She followed the same path and in the end after hitting the bank in Divinity’s Reach she was gone again.

This repetition went on day in and day out and I learned the meaning for my existence. I… was The Clone Slot. For over a year, every day was the same and all was right in the world. That is until that black day back in September 2014 when my whole life changed.

The day was known, in Character Slot circles as, Key Farming Nerf day, a day that will live in infamy. On this fated day, my world was torn asunder. The beautiful Warrior was reborn that day and started running through her routine but something had changed and she never completed her circuit. She vanished and that was the last I have seen of her. It has been 9 months now and I am just a shell of the Character Slot that I once was, cold, empty, without purpose.

So buck up little Alt and count your blessings, things could always be worse and remember, if you irritate the Puppet Master you too could end up just… like… me!

Yalora Istairiea.6287:

It has been 9 months now and I am just a shell of the Character Slot that I once was, cold, empty, without purpose.

So buck up little Alt and count your blessings, things could always be worse and remember, if you irritate the Puppet Master you too could end up just… like… me!

Cheer up Character Slot#6, although many months of emptiness may remain, you may eventually find new life again as a bold Revenant and then you will be the golden child.

Btw more good news you have a brother or perhaps its a sister, who knows as far as character slots are concerned, called in this case Character Slot#9. Empty since the infamous NPE appeared!

Channel legendary powers to slaughter foes and unleash chaos on the battlefield with our brand new profession: the revenant. Enter the field of battle heavily armored and equipped with the otherworldly powers of the Mists.

Oh to dream…

At least you know where you stand with your puppetmaster. Ours is rather cruel and pig headed; after almost two years, she still can’t decide on one of us to be the Favorite. Right now it’s little Asura mesmer, mostly because she is too cute for her own good. She says she is waiting to see what this new ‘Specialization’ to figure it out, but we all doubt it. She’ll go right along, swapping pretty trinkets among all of us…making some of us stand around naked under our ‘outfits’ while another gets to wear the shiney armor. She even has two of some of us, just to have one a Human (to use as a dress up doll, she says Humans have the best clothes) and some are Asura because she thinks they are cute.

Just a flesh wound.3589:

My name is Tallus Dach and I have been woefully used, abused and betrayed.

I used to be a member of my master’s harem of 8 level 80s until day another necro suddenly appeared and I was informed I had been demoted to a… to a…(oh I can hardly say it, the shame is overwhelming) to a puzzle jumper chest opener bank toon. (Sob). “Why? WHY?” I asked. The answer, “I really love the Norn necro facial mask and as a Sylvari, it doesn’t look the same on you”

I was shocked at such a trivial reason. My protestations were spoken to the empty chest I was forced to open and loot. I stood and watched while my rival gained in strength and power.

Then the true day of horror arrived. My master appeared before me with a name change contract in hand. I was forced to sign it. My rightful name was taken from me and given to that WITCH. That FIEND. She stood there smirking as she took my name and I was given hers. Then I was forcibly stripped of all my exotic armor, my weapons, my Acended jewels. My armor and weapons were smashed in front of me for the the few mats they would give and my jewelry was ripped from my body and used to adorn hers. I was given a few low level rags, and then they left me standing there, in the dark.

I stand in that dark, clammy cave now. Every day I open that chest and meekly hand over the contents. There is no justice. No appeal.

I was Slythy Toves. Now I am Tallus Dach. That was my story.

That… That is far more than a Flesh Wound.

I’m not sure what you guys are complaining about. Norn ranger, the puppetmaster’s first, I had the chance of discovering Tyria through his eyes, filled with marvel and excitement. Together, we brought down Zhaitan (though, was it really us?) But it wasn’t all fun and games, mind you. Fighting the Lag Monster in Lion’s Arch, utterly incapacitated and constantly wondering if I was still alive or just not aware of my timely end yet, being called useless in the Mists,… However, I was lucky enough that puppetmaster found interest in that show off of a warrior and borderline emo necromancer. Nowadays, I spend my days in early retirement, hanging out in all the hip places, drinking mead after mead in the finest taverns of Divinity’s Reach, boasting about my past successes and generally enjoying life while the youngsters are out saving the world. Occasionally I am pulled out of my daily revellings because “hey, my puppetmaster friend who just started playing needs some jewelry for her new 80.” Which I’ll admit isn’t much of a job, but the crafting stations are never far from the finest watering holes.
I say, let the young ones do all the heavy lifting. It keeps them off my lawn, which is a plus. I’m only wondering about one thing. There’s talks of giving us staves. While retired, I’d like to say I don’t need a walking stick yet.

A happily retired ranger.

Hi…

I am a female Necro, Maximia is My Name, and I was born human,was found at launch, celebrated 2 birthdays in my harem, nearing the third…. I did get love unconditionally… until 8 months ago…. when the master suddenly switched to a guy….
I managed to get a lot of attention from our master till 3 months after launch, I had a nice girlfriend, a ranger whom I met the first day, but after these first 3 months, a redhaired devil appeared, she took over, and invited a warrior and a guardian, the master continued experiments on how all characters were and are used and eventually the group of friends grew… The elementalist learned cafting to 400/400, as did my ranger friend and the warrior…. Nothing to stressfull, I got a second and a third armor made by the red haired devil and I felt happy….

The group grew to 8, then 10 and eventually 13 girls, nothing strange and then The lord created a male asura, we were shocked….. Not too long afterward our guardian friend been there since 3 months after launch got a sex change….. In this time of turmoil, the elementalist got ascended armor, the old warrior was passed by a new favorite and the new one got 2 full ascneded armors and full ascended gear almost instantly. The older warrior stood there and received some weapons eventually, but remained loyal, loyal to her friends, a third warrior came, but both older Norn warriors put the new Charr in her place, she was to become test subject like all others, the ring of friends required test subjects. In this era second and third ranger, second mesmer and then something strange happened, while the 2 mesmers were mostly doing invisibility spells 1 vanished into thin air, and the male asura engineer was utterly destroyed never to be seen again… Both asura vanished and the group of test subjects changed to become a warband… consisting of human, norn, syvari and charr.
All my friends from start remain, only 2 asura gone missing, but when experimenting you sometimes see experiments go wrong, and generally who’s in charge? Yes…. Asura…

We were utterly shocked…welll, actually we weren’t tbh…….

From the dead a new necromancer appeared, A huge male charr… and 2 female humans a guardian and an ele. He got ascended trinkets, ascneded weapons and eventually one of the most expensive magical armors in tyria.. The other 2 were equipped with ascneded weapons but the ascneded trinkets they were after have still not been conceived….My envy grew but I still remain, I have nice shiny trinkets like most in my harem, but after minionlike service since launch I do no longer receive the attention I once got…

In the end I got the short stick, The ranger I started with got The Kudzu, The redhead Elementalist got ascended armor and the Meteorologicus, though the mesmer has been attempting to steal her scepter… I doubt the redhead ele would mind as she has ascended armor 2 full asc. trinket sets, 2 full asc. weapon sets and mainly uses staff….
The mesmer envies the ele, and occasional fights occur….seems she wants a shield now, maybe she has the idea she can manipulate time…

I know I’m not forgotten, tough I tend to be jealous about the things some newcomers got and the fact I was passed over… I do not mind I’ll wait and return from the dead, maybe as mistress, maybe as minion, but I will reappear, as Elite Necro’s should. Lich form… Leaching ascended armor myself and reclaiming my place in the ranks of the most powerfull….

In the end I really am glad 1 thing passed and didn’t affect me. I’m still a female necro…. even though I wonder if this could have changed things… We live with 13 in our harem with 2 guards, 1 guardian and 1 necro… still as experiments for our master, He has told us many changes and challenges are coming and I hope they are for the best. We envision a new world with new horizons… but for now I run still my rounds as a hybrid terrormancer….

Last: Nobody will call me Alt! Alt means old in old tongue. I regenerate, I control life and death. I am original. I am 1 of the 9 Mains. though the others are reaching the same level… New additions to the group will need to adjust we have our own seats of power…

All of us… we are strong together.

-Maximia, Envious Terror(ized) Necro

I am not an alt! At least I wasn’t in the beginning; although, now perhaps I am…

In the beginning some might have called me a red-headed devil, for truly it’s what I was. A bane to the indigenous critters of Tyria as my master traversed the world through me. We did it all… we saw it all, even going so far as to traverse the Mist War. I am Lanfear, and I am forsaken…again.

At first, it was just I and the master. I was the favorite, I was the one that garnered her affection. Sure, the master had…others that she enjoyed from time to time, but it was always I that she returned to. Even when that red-headed witch of a mesmer started encroaching on my time, I still held the prized title of ‘favorite’ and most time with the master. Still, I figured it would only be a matter of time before the chit replaced me if something wasn’t done to make me desirable again.

But alas, it was not the mesmer that dethroned me. Nor the dark hearted little necro that is as old as I. Instead we have all been displaced for a ranger! Of all the atrocities and wicked possibilities, it was the plain, mousy haired zookeeper that rose to best us all!

However, I have not given up the fight to reclaim my title. There is hope on the horizon with the coming of new lands to traverse.

All of you alts complaining about sitting around and being able to enjoy yourselves, some of us have to work you know. I was my puppet masters first creation, I wandered the whole of the known lands, found the hidden places, jumped the puzzles to reach the view points, I even had to learn how to survive against others from other worlds to explore in the mists. Then I got to have a rest as others turned up, I could sit around in Divinities Reach and enjoy the views, do a bit of crafting when I wanted. The others though are a bunch of peakittens, that Norn Guardian who likes to boast all the time, waves a fancy sword about, but if a moa gives her a hard stare she falls over. Then there is the thief, prancing around in fancy armor, showing off her pistol with its fancy insect in amber. Who made that pistol, me, who even went and found the amber and insect, Me. Then there is the Mesmer, someone really should tell her to put some decent cloths on, that outfit is fine for going to a party but for going out adventuring? just silly, and well I don’t want to even think about the Warrior, with his blond hair, oiled muscles and armor that really wouldn’t do much against a toothpick.

I had it quite for a while, could enjoy myself while others did the work, but now its all go and kill a few guards in the mists, or disrupt a caravan, you know the others aren’t up to it, and Jormag’s claw needs taking out, and while you’re out there stop by Beetleton and pick a few lettuce heads. Me pick lettuces, its riduculous, let the menials do that.

Then I noticed that along side MY Gifts of Exploration and Gifts of Battle new items appearing, mystic clovers from the forge, and i was sent to buy a blood stone shard with all those points I had work so hard to get, wood of all kinds, powerful blood, elaborate totems. I was a good huntsman and started to think something big was coming my way again, then I noticed the opal and crysocola orbs, they are needed in the Dreamer, I use a longbow, I wouldn’t be seen dead shooting out unicorns, then there is that little sylvari ranger looking smug, I had hardly noticed her, but now I look at her with her little short bow and think treacherous salads.

QUIET!!! All of you! I AM the main… and I have been charged with looking after and taking care of my other 22 sisters. It is a harsh world out there in Tyria… Much to be done… but pain to be felt, much armor to be repaired. As far as I’m concerned, for all the crap I put up with in my life… I deserve the perma tools, I deserve the make over kits, the armor, the legendaries, cause I am the one that goes out there working the land for the livelihood of my family! Had it not been for me, I would not have allowed 20 of my 22 sisters to join me in lvl 80 land. If not for me, 7 of my other sisters would not have perma tools, and had not been for me… I wouldn’t even have 22 sisters period! ( would only have 4, lmao). I supply the clothing on my sister’s backs! the weapons they wield in battle and don’t think for one minute I do not eye my little Elementalist sister who stays in town all day long and does nothing but crafting and runs up my credit cards on the trading post!

I refuse such abuse from my sisters and I demand the respect I have earned!

(Reality sets in here: Actually I have 5 characters out of the 22 that I consider to be mains, and it is between 3 of those 5 that wield my legendaries but… I think they have an identity crisis going on. Out of the 22, those 5 were the first 5 created, little favoritism in there, me thinks)

All of you “other” Alts think you have it bad? HA I say HA! My Master had the unmitigated gall to actually change my name to Vanishing Closet! I used to have a pretty name. Now I am a glorified pack mule that holds the other’s stuff that they don’t want to hold. I sit in Divinity’s Reach at the bank vault and never get to move. He even took my daggers away so I can’t stab him!

Thayel.1236:

All of you “other” Alts think you have it bad? HA I say HA! My Master had the unmitigated gall to actually change my name to Vanishing Closet! I used to have a pretty name. Now I am a glorified pack mule that holds the other’s stuff that they don’t want to hold. I sit in Divinity’s Reach at the bank vault and never get to move. He even took my daggers away so I can’t stab him!

roflmao… Perhaps it’s that he knows you would turn your daggers on him is the reason why you’re in that closet…

My name is Anselm Drenro, noble guardian from Divinity’s Reach. My story is a…strange one, to say the least. Unlike most of you, my problems don’t stem from my puppetmaster’s main (we all happen to like her), but instead with a fellow alt. After reading a few of your stories, I’m considering myself lucky though. My mistress happens to be quite fair with all of us, but I can tell she picks favorites…..Especially with her “precious”-….My apologies. I’m getting ahead of myself.

You see, when I was created, my puppetmaster already had several alts at 80. That didn’t really phase me until I noticed two things. 1) I was not the first guardian she’d created, and 2) I was surrounded by sylvari! 4 of them! Also 2 asura and a charr. Yes, I was the ONLY human! And my fellow guardian? He was one of these sylvari AND already at 80. For a while, I kept my eye on him. However, I noticed my presence didn’t unsettle him at all.

That’s when I had a rather horrifying discussion with one of the asura. It turns out, I was not the first human my puppetmaster created. There were 2 others. But if that were the case, where were they? Yes…You guessed it. She’d killed them long before I came along, and I happened to share their last name. Hearing this made me nervous. I was horrified! To think my mistress would simply kill off some of my fellow humans! Why wold she do that?? Then it hit me. I was there for the story achievement, for “racial diversity”. Why? My puppetmaster is a….I hate to even say it….salad lover. Yes, that’s right.

I became incredibly weary after that. Surely after so much time her thoughts on humans had changed…right? I was leveled slowly over the next month. Each day I questioned “Is she going to kill me too?”, and each day she didn’t. Around the 30s, it finally happened. (Obviously I wasn’t killed or I wouldn’t be telling you this) I was given a story, just as she does with all of her creations! I had been accepted by my puppetmaster! I was SAFE!!! I had made it so much further than the other 2 humans before me. I climbed through levels much faster after that.

But then….it happened. You all know what I mean when I say “character slot sale”. Suddenly, I wasn’t the youngest anymore. She’d created a ranger….a sylvari ranger. I tried not to pay much attention to her because I was already so far ahead, but the fact that she was a sylvari worried me. Not to mention the new face and hair she was given almost instantly upon creation did as well.

I began to be leveled slower after that. The ranger was climbing through levels behind me a bit too fast for my liking. I started to focus on cooking to keep myself distracted. After several more months, I made it to 75. I was so close I could taste it! I could almost feel the exotic armor I was to be given, the beautiful ascended trinkets. But….it was out of my reach. I couldn’t get there. And why??

Because my puppetmaster didn’t have a level 80 ranger yet.

I was furious! I was created first! I was almost to 80! Yet I had to sit around for months, watching the salad ranger climb closer to my number. All because I wasn’t born a ranger. No. I had to be made another guardian! I wasn’t special enough to even be considered one of her real “profession” characters. I nearly eliminated myself to join the 2 humans before me when I saw the salad pass me and hit the magic number.

Then the spoiling happened. Mistress gave her not one, but TWO full sets of exotic armor and ascended trinkets! (And I’m not even going to go into the talks between them about a certain weapon called Kudzu. I’m surprised lady main hasn’t become upset about that yet). I didn’t even get to travel Tyria to level the rest of the way! I was given tomes lady main had acquired instead. I was humiliated!

However, I definitely got my revenge. Did I forget to mention my puppetmaster loves to make us look pretty? I see this Light of Dwayna backpiece as an apology gift. (The other guardian doesn’t even have an ascended back item. Who’s the favorite guardian now?!)

/sniff sniff … My name is ‘Ima Justa Mule’.

I have been level 2 since my birth 4 months ago. After my creation I was banished to the Bank in Hoelbrak and have been forbidden to leave there ever since. Oh I have been given things from my high-adventure sisters over the last few months but I don’t get any feeling of personal satisfaction, I just feel so used, obscure and neglected.

Ima slowly meanders away, hands dejectedly thrust in her pockets, each lovingly caressing multiple stacks of Ectoplasm. Nodding her head slowly, one side of her mouth barely askew revealing a quirky little smile, she shuffles off unnoticed.

((speaking as my main. A ranger))

I feel the need to try and set some things right here. Many of you make valid points regarding what you perceive as slights or even abuse, but as some have pointed out, it’s not all fun and parties as a main.
My master has me read his mail once in a while, when he’s busy, and I was heartbroken to read the letter that Misty had written recently. She does not know the plans the master has for her, and my heart warms to think of the smile on her face when she discovers he is going to completely retrain her, and bring all her armor and jewelry up to date.
For me, this means many more hours in the Silverwastes, as it will be up to me to obtain all the materials and gold needed for this task. I can’t begin to speak of the number of times I’ve been flattened by a charging herd of Teragrifs (I can only interrupt so many at once, you know?); and I will not go into any detail on the ground tentacles the Leechers use.
Needless to say, I am hurt that some would consider us mains to be pampered and even go as far as to be jealous of us. Yes, we delight our masters/mistresses, but we also put it all on the line every day. I don’t hold it over them, but I can guarantee you that I’ve spent more time “inspecting the ground” than any of the others my master calls upon, and it’s not always pleasant when I am forced to do so! Have I mentioned the Leeching Thrashers tentacles?
This is not to say that I deny enjoying the masters attentions. My master has bestowed upon me a full set of ascended armor, and as of a short time ago, a second Legendary weapon. I have one of the finest longbows in Tyria, the Zodiac. Rare enough that I’ve only seen one other in all my years, but I have to stress again that it all comes with a price. Dying is not fun. The pain is real, and the revival through waypointing is.. well, let’s be honest, it’s disturbing. I love the Asura and all their technology, but resurrection via waypoint always leaves me a bit queasy and disoriented. You’d think they could make it smoother than that.
Anyway, forgive my digress.
Being an alt may lack some of the perks, but each one of us has our purpose in life. I would never wish upon anyone that they were a “mule”, but even the lowly mule serves a purpose for his/her master, and in the grand scheme of things they too have their importance. Plus there is always the chance that the master/mistress will take an interest in you! My masters little Asuran Engineer was originally a mule. Then one day the master pulled me aside and explained that he would be spending a good amount of time with her to train her to the same high level of training that the rest of us had obtained. She was part of the family, but now she would get the same fine clothing and appointments that the rest of us had. Now there is a new mule, though he was hired from a temp agency. Something about the master searching for a revenant and needing a placeholder. Not sure what that is all about, but it just goes to show that there is always hope.
Masters and mistresses are fickle, and unfortunately some are abusive, but it is not our place in life to question those who would be gods. Our very existence is at their whim. It is up to us to make the best of our situations, no matter how poor they may seem.

In the long run, it’s up to you to choose happiness. It is not your master or mistresses job to make you happy.

As a fellow Alt of Tyria I feel your pain. I was my Puppet Master’s first and only, a glorious hero who traveled the world exploring the many different lands by my master’s side. I underwent many changes through our shared time, new hairs, new faces, expensive armors and weapons, and even a sex change! All these were given to me from my dear Master as i was his one and only.
However, soon my Master made another, a lowly Guardian. Slowly and surely my Master started to pay more attention to him, buying frivolous goods to make him look dapper (he could never be as pretty as me!). I soon feared for my livelihood having not recieved an update in looks, even with the release of new hairstyles!
It ended up being entirely fine as my Master tired of the boring class known a Guardian and came back to his one and only – ME!
This is not the end of the story. While I spent time with my master i became close to ol’ little Guardian and we became friends. We shared similar looks and tastes. All was going well until my Master found the sickening class of Elementalist. That TRAMP took over my Master’s heart and I was left alone in my sorrows. Even Guardian couldn’t keep me company as he soon fell ill and died (Rest in Peace), making way for a plethora of new puppets.
And so it goes to this day, barely ever in the company of Master. Sometimes i see the light of day, or rather the dark of dungeons, but even then im simply called a banner bot (;_;). Once in a while i get new goodies to keep me happy, and I am satisfied my Master still buys me such things, panda hat made me extremely bubbly inside, however my now lowly position is nothing compared to the old glory days, or the position that kitten Elementalist is in. I even hear that prize pig will get a sword soon, the master’s favorite weapon!

I will continue to suffer my loneliness, scheming to take back my spot in the Master’s heart! My day will come when all the alt’s and main’s bow down to me! MUAHAHAHHA FEAR ME ELEMENTALIST I AM WARRIOR QUEEN OF THE LANDS!!!

Human Ranger, first made, first played, first choice. Sorry, I don’t have a sob story of being replaced. The others got their attention, the elementalist got assigned first dibs on dungeons, but I’m still the one that gets first dibs on everything new. Will I be adventuring into the Heart of Thorns? No… The newest, youngest Sylvari Warrior gets to do that. Am I bitter about it? Pff, no. I’ve seen more than all these alts rolled together and getting some time off is fine by me. I get all the rewards of his efforts anyway.

Besides, he’s only getting to be part of the story, once it comes time to collect all the achievements, then it’s my time to shine. So, to all you sad sacks, get over it. Your “puppet master” is obviously not dedicated enough, or mature enough to support you, or you might just not be any good. Too bad for you.

Maybe this isn’t an alt problem at all, and a problem with the wrong puppet master. I’d play with you. :<

I was his first his only, the only one he wanted, a Norn Guardian. And now? I’m dust for him.
I ran hard, did extra exercise to keep my body in form ( I had to because he made me drink and eat a lot, and you now we Norn…). He just adored me, so he got me and I just thought, love you too.
But then he made her, that snobbish excuse of a Human female ( you now what I mean they are just to short in everything we Norn woman have). A dump Engineer called “two lefthands”.
Sorry have to stop now,it’s to overwhelming for me now but i join your altclub.
greetz ………. ( the azzz forgot my name)

I’m an alt, but I’m an exact mirror image of the main guy. We even share the same name, one could say that I’m one of his Mesmer clones. We have the same hair, same face, same body, same height, same skin color, same eyes, same hat! Did I mention same NAME? The only difference is that his last name is Shepherd, mine is Ellis!

But I do get most of his shinies, and I’m in a better spot than the other alts! We share the same legendary skins! I get Sunrise, Bifrost, Bolt! Heck I even have the real Flameseeker Prophecies for now (until the main guy becomes a Chronomancer cries).

Am I his clone, with Guardian powers? Or come to think of it… We both had missing parents as a child… Maybe we are twins…

Woah, listen to all of you, misery sure loves company ..

Well I for one am happy that I don’t even qualify.
Yep, you heard me right, I am not even an Alt.

You see, the Kboard Khan’s dominions are in NA, but he created an outpost out here in Piken Square.
I know what happens to Alts over the pond .. they get to rot in SharkMaw, forever stunted in their 20’s, like crated veal – never to see daylight or breathe fresh air (Scarlet changed that briefly, but I wouldn’t call LA at that time a picnic).
And our first “One True Main”, lol that snarky Thief! Put out to pasture as a farmer, lmao!!! Hidden Killer my kitten.

At least the boss checks in on me once a day, if only for a few seconds.

But he placed a gag order on me, that’s right, I am “Invisible” to others. You what?, I say, this is DR in Piken, the hub of the known universe?!! “No Time”, he sez.

Just collect the shinies, he sez. The bright point in my existence is finding any Laurels, then I get to port to the middle, trade them for mats and dump them in the bank. Swap n dump, o joy.

Ookay, that I can do .. but I am capable of so much more. Home instance collecting? Nope, not in this demesne.
How about popping chests? Queensdale’s full of them! Naw, the Khan (lazy sod) prefers Sharkmaw .. er, maybe not then, glad I’m just lvl2 for once!

Hey, I could even (shudders) .. keyrun .. at least there’d be some kind of point to my existence, and I get to stretch my legs once in a while. Even though it will mean death then reanimation over & over, hey, that would be the very definition of a Revenant! What about it boss?

The Khan just looks at me funny and snickers.

Oh .. an epiphany.

So that’s my purpose in life .. a human sacrifice, Permadeath! I will never advance beyond level 2, and when my time comes, I will never see Piken again.

Destined to be murdered then recreated, in name and visage .. as a True Revenant! Mwahahah Hahaha!!

Laughing so hard I cry just a little.

Here’s my take. I’m a First. My PM, bless his cotton socks, gave me life and purpose and I love him for that. A few months shy of three years ago, and I remember it like it was yesterday. Stepping out of the portal into Queensdale on that first bright morning, a little dizzy with the possibility of a whole new world waiting to be discovered … it was thrilling. Exhilarating.

Exhausting.

I tell ya, it was non-stop those first few months! We blitzed through Kryta and Ascalon and the Shiverpeaks, made the long trek to Maguuma Jungle and blitzed through there as well. Stretching ourselves, learning new skills, testing our mettle. By Wintersday that first year, you name it, I could craft it – I even learnt to cook (though never quite to love it). But the energy that propels you forward into the world only lasts so long. Sometimes you just gotta kick back and relax.

Which is why I wasn’t too upset when Kij came along. Mean with a bow, cutest little pet owl you could ever hope to meet. It was good to see a little of myself in her enthusiasm for all that lay before her, especially because it meant I could rest my aching feet (and yeah, summon a minion or two to fetch me another flagon of hunter’s ale while I was at it. Perks of being a Necromancer, what can I say). And after Kij there was Kristin, then Sayka, Sia and Jaxx and Jaxxa and boy, Tyria didn’t know what hit it!

But eventually – always – it would be my turn again.

It’s like I was saying to Jory in the Dead End Bar the other week – we’re a family. It isn’t a competition – or at least it shouldn’t be. We’re all on the same side, all driven by the same purpose. And nobody’s indestructible; we all get tired, we all need, sometimes, to head home for a spell, touch base with the people we care about – the people we fight for.

So, try to love those Alts. Don’t view them as replacements, look at them as allies. As friends.

Oh and one last word of advice: never challenge a Norn Warrior and a Norn Mesmer to a drinking competition at the same time. Trust me on this. You’ll lose. Badly.

Oh my aching head ….

- Chance Denevi, monstrously hungover, Salma District, Divinity’s Reach