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Posted by: FInN.7219

FInN.7219

Don’t bother reading, I just needed somewhere to collect my feelings and vent.

I started playing the game when it came out last August and I had alot of fun leveling my Ranger to level 80 with 100% world completion in and around the Halloween content which was really nice. After that came The Lost Shores Event and I was very sad I missed it to it been a 1 time exclusive event and I had the connection issue so I quit playing and got addicted to DayZ mod for Arma 2.

Then came Christmas day and I got very depressed as I do every year because everyone elses life seems so great but I sit on my computer all day doing nothing but mashing buttons which helps because it takes my mind off things like me having a low life expectancy for medical reasons. I also lost my best friend to medical reasons around Christmas time in 2008 so it made me put my own life into perspective living with CF.

Anyway, back to that Christmas(The same thing happened to me the year before and I was talking with a close friend I made from US and he was always suggesting that I should try out Skyrim and so since it was on sale that same Christmas Eve I decided to try it out and leaving it download overnight I woke up early the next morning and got glued to it, I loved it. It completely took my mind off all dark taught for months after with hundreds of hours of playtime. I was always worried to say it but I think Skyrim saved my life.) I wasn’t looking forward to it but what did keep me upbeat and excited was the Skyrim Dragonborn DLC for PC because I assumed they would surely release it for Christmas but they didn’t and then I just emotionally sank with the disappointment of not being able to start a new character with new content to keep my mind as ease. I tired out many other games that day and noting seemed to give me that spark I was looking for…then I saw Guild Wars 2 so I let it download the updates as I read about all the ‘Wintersday’ updates in the launcher, logged in and spawned in an absolutely beautiful city of Lions Arch covered in snow and decorations with such beautiful Christmas themed music. I did some of the events and activities and I even got presents from an Asura named Toymaker Tixx, it was like the Christmas I never had and I loved it. I got hooked to the game and found so much more content that I didn’t see before. It really helped get my mind off stuff that worried me similar to what Skyrim did the year before. Yeah, I know its pathetic that I feel I need video games for function but really all it is, is just something to keep my mind busy.

But today is my Birthday and as much as I don’t want to think about it and forget what age I am so it won’t worry me its hard, its not like I can tell people I don’t want to have an age because they’d think I was crazy. It’s just me, I don’t want to have a countdown timer to my life expectancy. Last week I lost my dog and that made me really sad but I think I was able to prepare for that by comforting her as I felt it coming since she was very sick for the weeks before hand.

A few hours ago I had a very awkward and humiliating encounter in game when someone probably a ‘guild-y’ typed /deaths in /say chat as if to tell people to use it and I saw everyone typing how many they had node exceeding a thousand. Then I did mine, it was 2878 and I stupidly typed that into /say chat. The player that encouraged everyone, to use it must of been very surprised I guess but then saw that I was a Ranger and typed something like ‘oh that explains it…Ranger’ not even taking into consideration my playtime, achievements points, bugged deaths and silly on purpose deaths. I’m not even that bad of a player, I regularly do fractals level 38 and Arah Explore and only die when its a group wipe which might be 0-3 times depending on the group which will average to 1 death per hour.

And now its come to this, a character that I put 8+ months into and felling utterly useless about it and thinking the time spent on it means nothing to me anymore. Maybe 2879 will be my last.

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Posted by: Lamont.5973

Lamont.5973

Don’t let jerks ruin your day. Frankly, if I added the deaths on the various characters I play they would come to way more than 3000. If you have primarily played 1 character then 2878 is reasonable, especially if its the one you started with when the game came out.

Happy Bday by the way

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Posted by: Villious.8530

Villious.8530

Sorry to hear about your problems. I hope you can find something else to occupy your mind.

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Posted by: Jack of Tears.9458

Jack of Tears.9458

So …. what? Who cares how many times you’ve died? No one besides you and you’re making too much of an issue out of it; don’t let the game decide how you feel about yerself. I know that might sound harsh, but you really gotta stop and think about this a minute … you’re depressed over the number of times you got killed in a video game. Part of the video game experience is dying – unless you’re one of those people what swears they wanna kill their characters when they snuff it, (for the fun of it, to each their own) you shouldn’t worry. I know depression, boy do I ever, but you’re giving this game too much power and too much significance in your life. It should be fun, but it shouldn’t be what you rely on for your sense of self worth. You want to feel cool in the game? Do the things you’d feel cool for in real life … help out other players, make friends, share the game with other people, because that’s a real big part of this whole MMO thing. Then go out and watch the sun set, smell the flowers, meet your neighbor … people are putting way too much emphasis on their internet lives these days and forgetting that the real world can be a lot more satisfying.

Sorry about your dog; I suggest going to the animal shelter and saving a puppy. Then bring it home and tell it all about the game – no, seriously, do that, it’ll help. Then maybe not log on for a couple days while you’re gettin’ to know your new friend, or let her sit in your lap while you play … make a connection. Games are here to lift your spirits, when they stop doing that you need to step back and reevaluate the way you’re playing.


I’m sorry I stepped outta yer box, don’ worry, if
ya whine enough they’ll put me right back.

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Posted by: Villious.8530

Villious.8530

So …. what? Who cares how many times you’ve died? No one besides you and you’re making too much of an issue out of it; don’t let the game decide how you feel about yerself. I know that might sound harsh, but you really gotta stop and think about this a minute … you’re depressed over the number of times you got killed in a video game. Part of the video game experience is dying – unless you’re one of those people what swears they wanna kill their characters when they snuff it, (for the fun of it, to each their own) you shouldn’t worry. I know depression, boy do I ever, but you’re giving this game too much power and too much significance in your life. It should be fun, but it shouldn’t be what you rely on for your sense of self worth. You want to feel cool in the game? Do the things you’d feel cool for in real life … help out other players, make friends, share the game with other people, because that’s a real big part of this whole MMO thing. Then go out and watch the sun set, smell the flowers, meet your neighbor … people are putting way too much emphasis on their internet lives these days and forgetting that the real world can be a lot more satisfying.

Sorry about your dog; I suggest going to the animal shelter and saving a puppy. Then bring it home and tell it all about the game – no, seriously, do that, it’ll help. Then maybe not log on for a couple days while you’re gettin’ to know your new friend, or let her sit in your lap while you play … make a connection. Games are here to lift your spirits, when they stop doing that you need to step back and reevaluate the way you’re playing.

Great post Jack!

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Posted by: Mirta.5029

Mirta.5029

don’t let these people get to you. If you played for 8 months it’s not an unreasonable amount of deaths. This is a game and you’re here to have fun. So what some jerk thinks that you’re bad? Plenty of players probably think that I’m awful. Oh well!
And talking about the out of game stuff probably all of us know depression. Here I am sitting in my apartment without any shelves, things in boxes not having enough energy to sort it out, yet feeling pressured by the image that I must present to my family, seeing my past classmates go off to have wondrous holidays while I’m just sitting here on my sorry kitten . Hell I’m happy that I got a vacuum cleaner as my birthday present. And yes life can be depressing, life can be sad, we can feel pathetic over the smallest things, but we play games to relax and forget about it.

(edited by Mirta.5029)

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Posted by: Sylv.5324

Sylv.5324

I also have a low life expectancy due to an illness, and am homebound etc, I spend most of my day, when I’m awake, logged in to GW2.

If you had fun, it wasn’t wasted. Surround yourself with good people, and get rid of the jerks, you deserve better.

Good luck. <3

Ardeth, Sylvari Mesmer
Tarnished Coast

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Posted by: Vayne.8563

Vayne.8563

Find yourself a nice guild community and don’t worry about the idiots. My main is a ranger and I do fine.

If you play a lot of WvW, you’ll have more deaths than someone who doesn’t. If you do a lot of dungeons, you’ll have more deaths than someone who doesn’t.

I know a guy who died like a dozen times…but all he does is hang out in LA and chat.

Don’t let the naysayers get you down.

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Posted by: bhull.8640

bhull.8640

It’s a number in a faraway database. Try to keep things in perspective.

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Posted by: Jrunyon.3012

Jrunyon.3012

Sorry about your not so great life, but really, how is any of that the game’s fault?

Nesmee – Thief
[OHai] – Northern Shiverpeaks

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Posted by: Mourningcry.9428

Mourningcry.9428

2878 is the number of times you’ve wanted to keep on playing GW2.

Save your pity for the sorry soul who called it quits and gave up with anything less.

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Posted by: Jaall.3420

Jaall.3420

The issues you talk about happen in any game, even single player games. I understand how others can make you feel terrible but this isn’t even a bad thing. Like everyone’s said, it’s dying in a video game, everyone dies in a video game! The number of times isn’t important and I’d go so far as to say those who die more have more of a laugh because they don’t care so much. Obviously that’s not the way for some people I’m just generalising.

I know people who live with CF and it is hard for them, and I do really feel for them however they are out living their lives to the max making sure that they do everything they want to. There are people out there who can help you with depression and would probably be worth looking into because it could mean having a whole new outlook on life rather than “counting down” the days.

I understand the difficulty and everyone gets depressed especially in your situation but there is so much more to life. Even if you sit at the computer everyday you can make friends with those who treat you right. You wouldn’t purposefully hang around with jerks for real, neither would you give them the time of day. People in this world can be vile.

I was in a very serious car accident 2 years ago where I completely smashed both legs and died twice due to blood loss. I’m still recovering and still have a partially broken leg that needs to be broken yet again. I was walking out of the cinema the other day and a guy leant out of a car and shouted asking what happened to my leg. Naturally I got used to everyone asking, so shouted “car accident”. His reply was exactly “Well maybe next time you’ll break your neck.” “Then I will laugh”. As I said, vile. But you can’t let these people get you down, they aren’t worth the time of day.

I really hope you do find someone to help you because even with an illness like yours it’s not the end of life. Celebrate life rather than watching it tick away, because you are still here. It’s easy for me to say this and we all know depression, and how hard it is to change but I know with the right help anything is possible.

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Posted by: maddoctor.2738

maddoctor.2738

A few hours ago I had a very awkward and humiliating encounter in game when someone probably a ‘guild-y’ typed /deaths in /say chat as if to tell people to use it and I saw everyone typing how many they had node exceeding a thousand. Then I did mine, it was 2878 and I stupidly typed that into /say chat. The player that encouraged everyone, to use it must of been very surprised I guess but then saw that I was a Ranger and typed something like ‘oh that explains it…Ranger’ not even taking into consideration my playtime, achievements points, bugged deaths and silly on purpose deaths.

Were you also trying to figure out the max falling damage a player can take when dropping down in Rata Sum?
Fun times

Also, I was surprised when I found out that deaths in sPVP/tPVP count in your /deaths, can get very high if you are a regular PVPer

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Posted by: Astral Projections.7320

Astral Projections.7320

Lol. I haven’t counted up all my deaths in this game, but in Guild Wars 1, it was something like 4000 deaths on my main. I think I was averaging 2 or 3 deaths a day. Lol. Those things don’t matter, not as long as you are having fun. :-)

Sorry to hear about your dog, it hard to lose them. But if she was sick, the kindest thing sometimes is to let them go. They don’t understand why they are suffering and it’s probably more of a burden to them than a human because they don’t have a way to think around it. If possible, I would recommend you get another dog. It may seem callous to get one right away, but there are a lot of good dogs that need a home. And you could give one a home in memory of and in honor of the one that died.

Good luck. :-)

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Posted by: Miss Sugarific.8471

Miss Sugarific.8471

hug You need one.

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Posted by: Ratty.5176

Ratty.5176

I know a few players that play only their Thief and have far more deaths than that. The number has nothing to do with skill, more to do with time in game and number of alts you have.

No matter what you do in this game there is a high chance of death especially if you run a lot of Fractals/Dungeons/WvW etc. If you get a bad team comp, and certain fractals you can easily have most of your team mates repairing armor by the end of the run.

So deaths doesn’t really say anything about skill, and more about willingness to take risks and the amount of time you spend in game.

Oh.. and as someone that plays this game to kick his mind from playing silly tricks.. HUGS.. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad, especially closed minded people who don’t know anything about you.

(edited by Ratty.5176)

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Posted by: Kasama.8941

Kasama.8941

The point of entertainment is to make you feel relaxed, by taking your mind off things. So you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about using games as a distraction. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t face your problems.

You really need to talk to a psychologist, if you aren’t already. It’s obvious that you have a lot on your mind, that you don’t have an outlet on. I’m sorry that you have to be reminded of death so often. It takes a special kind of person to be able to live a normal life, and at the same time, be faced with such thoughts everyday. That’s also what makes doctors and nurses so amazing. But even doctors and nurses talk to each other, or a psychiatrist, about their thoughts. Because everyone needs some form of outlet. No one is perfect. And the only way to get better, is to talk to someone who can give you advice on how to help yourself, feel better. I know it sounds tedious, but it is nevertheless, the truth. Listen, we will all die some day. That’s just the way of life. But just because you have less time then others, it doesn’t mean you should feel like you don’t deserve to live as fully, as it is possible for you to.

Once you get an outlet on your thoughts, it will also help you stop taking everything to heart. You shouldn’t feel depressed about another player saying something that trivial about your gaming character. But when people are as emotionally vulnerable as you currently are, it is very difficult not to over-think things.

80 Ranger | 80 Mesmer | 80 Thief | 80 Guardian | 40 Engineer
“The learned is happy, nature to explore. The fool is happy, that he knows no more.”
-Alexander Pope

(edited by Kasama.8941)

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Posted by: Ratty.5176

Ratty.5176

It’s not really to do with outlets. No matter how many friends you have, or people you can chat too, there will be times where your mind starts playing tricks. You can’t phone up a friend at 2am at night. What you can do is go into a game and run around. It’s much harder for your mind to go into a spiral when you have to concentrate on skill rotation, avoiding attacks etc.

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Posted by: Kasama.8941

Kasama.8941

It’s not really to do with outlets. No matter how many friends you have, or people you can chat too, there will be times where your mind starts playing tricks. You can’t phone up a friend at 2am at night. What you can do is go into a game and run around. It’s much harder for your mind to go into a spiral when you have to concentrate on skill rotation, avoiding attacks etc.

It’s not about just talking with people (although that is a big factor), it’s about getting help, to help yourself. A psychologist is also a doctor. But where a “normal” doctor takes care of physical health, a psychologist takes care of mental health. If you see someone with a broken arm, you get them to a hospital immediate, because they are obviously in pain. I am personally of the belief, that a psychological suffering should be treated in the same way.

As said, games are good for distractions. But if you want to feel better, you need to face the problems.

80 Ranger | 80 Mesmer | 80 Thief | 80 Guardian | 40 Engineer
“The learned is happy, nature to explore. The fool is happy, that he knows no more.”
-Alexander Pope

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Posted by: Moderator.6837

Moderator.6837

Hello,

Such threads are not allowed on the forums as they are not conducive to creating a friendly community nor do they have room for constructive discussion. As such, this thread has been closed.

Thank you for your understanding.