Guild Wars 2

I have people who listen to me about the GW2 story just because no one else will and realized if you use lay mans terms it sounds really weird. So I thought it would be funny to see how people would explain a GW2 story arc in a way a non player could visualize it.

Here is my attempt at explaining the molten alliance:
An evil genius plant woman named Scarlet put together two very different races to make an army for herself. The xenophobic blind molemen worked together with the fire cats to combine their strengths for better weaponry. The molemen specialized in sonar and machinery while the cats had powerful magic. The true purpose of this alliance was to make sonar probes to locate the intersection of magic fault lines in the world.

this is how I explained the LS to a friend I am trying to recruit to GW2

We have had this Evil Genius who has been running around recruiting an army made up of pretty xenophobic factions.
She did this by guile, extortion and promises of power.

Her aim seems to be pretty obscure still and because of her alliances she has access to very advanced tech.

Just recently she nuked the kitten out of the Main City because she is trying to get at a ley line nexus that is located under it- ley lines contain the flow of magic in the world.
The city is just collateral damage to her

I suspect stuff is going to get pretty hairy fairly soon- when are you making a plan?

we had this conversation last weekend

I was about to post a snarky replay here but I’ll let it go. It’s probably well known what I think about the ‘story’ by now.

The best I ever saw was…

“The Scarlet Variety Show featuring Zhaitan!”

I once mentioned “communist mole-people” to a friend who doesn’t play, and he just stared at me like I had strung together the most nonsensical phrase possible.

Anyway, here’s my attempt.

“A bunch of different people come together to fight a vaguely dragon-shaped primordial entity hellbent on consuming all life, and then a partially different bunch of different people get beat up by a supergenius cactus terrorist hellbent on digging for magic.”

An undead dragon was threatening the world, so a bunch of heroes banded together to defeat it. Two years later (Zhaitan was defeated in 1325 AE, it’s currently 1327 AE in the game), different racial creatures of the world started working together in unlikely alliances to an unknown purpose. These alliances caused destruction and chaos in various parts of the world. It was eventually revealed that the mastermind was a woman named Scarlet. Her true motives were obscured for a long time, it was only known that she had an experience, years ago, that caused her to snap. She was apparently being driven crazy from another dragon, and formed all the alliances and caused chaos in order to awaken it. Now the world faces a new threat.

Lately, we’ve been harassing an innocent red salad girl who was actually trying to help cure our boredom by giving us another Elder Dragon to go slay with a giant cannon and some cheap fireworks!