Guild Wars 2

Hello fellow adventurers,

To keep the amusement going, I’m creating a topic with the most creative “Yo mama” jokes reffering to the Guild Wars Lore.
I know there are already a lot of funny jokes made about the Asura IQ jokes and also alot referring to other games.
So I think it’s time we had some fun with the Guild Wars Lore !

I will start with my own:
Yo mama is so fat, when she tripped in Kryta, they had to rebuild Lion’s Arch “again”…

Be creative & keep the jokes civilised, no swearing and such !

- Yo mama is so fat, the Norn captured her as worthy prey for the Great Hunt.

- Yo mama is so fat, she has to consume all magic in Tyria to satisfy her hunger.

- Yo mama is so broke, Ho-Ho-Tron has to collect charity for her.

- Yo mama once was told by an Asura to test a Skritt’s IQ, but they had to stop when she thought the Skritt could read her mind.

I’m not terribly good at these.

The first made me laugh as hell !
Keep em going.
eats popcorn

Yo mama’s so stupid, she pronounces Mordremoth as MOE-dre-moth.

~hides from the devs~

Yo mama’s so fat, she thought Orr was a surf’n’turf buffet.

Yo mama’s so fat, she thinks Rata Sum is a sugar cube.

You can boo me but that’s the best I can think of.

yo mamma’s so fat, she gives the gigantus lupicus a bad name

were you that person who was in lions arch last night? :P

Getefix.9150:

yo mamma’s so fat, she gives the gigantus lupicus a bad name

were you that person who was in lions arch last night? :P

Haha yes I was !

in that case (i know its not guild wars related but) yo mamma’s so dense, light bends around her (theres light in the guild wars universe)

Yo Momma’s so fat when she wore a black bathing suit to swim in LA everyone thought Shoggroth got out of Arah Dungeon.

Yo mama so fat, she has her own gods and elder dragons.

Yo mama so dumb, she tries to use the Mystic forge as an actual toilet

Yo mama so fat, people in WvW try to kill her cos they think she’s a dolyak.

Yo mama’s so cool, when she gets feared, she walks the other way.

Yo mama’s so cool, when she gets chilled, she gets deep freezed.

Yo mama’s so dumb, when she speaks, she applies 5 stacks of confusion.

Yo mama so fat, when you apply burning to her, she smells like roast pork.

Yo mama’s so fat, when I entered Omadd’s machine, all I could see was her.

Yo mama’s so massive, Divinity’s Reach is her belly button.

Yo mama’s so fat, she caused the Great Collapse.

Yo mama’s so ugly, even Risen break into her home to close the curtains.

yo mammas so nice, she gave me a free legendary… wait what?

Yo mama’s so fat, Anet has her planned as the next expansion.

yo mammas so stinky – she farted and caused the dragonbrand

Your mom is so ugly, her look petrifies a basilisk

Your mom is so fat, the waypoints charge her for five people.

Your mom is so fat, when she made her character, the server crashed.

Yo mama’s so fat, the Dragonbrand is actually her stretch mark.

• Yo mama’s so fat, a Thief tried to Shadowstep behind her and got a load screen.

Though, game mechanics are technically not lore…

• Yo mama’s so dumb, she thinks the Grove is a vegan buffet.
• Yo mama’s so fat, she’s from both Ascalon and Kryta.
• Yo mama’s so fat, shes at the center of the Eternal Alchemy.

Yo mama’s so dumb she thought Bloodstone dust was edible.

That one goes out to all ma ascended cooking homies!

Yo mama’s so fat, she uses the Fang of the Serpent as a toothpick

Yo mama’s so fat, when she jumped in the ocean to swim, she was the actual cause of the Great Tsunami.

Yo mama’s so fat, that a human god uses her as a domain.

Yo mama’s so fat, that she needs to use an Asura portal to scratch her back.

Yo mama’s so fat, she out eats Mawdrey.
Yo mama’s so fat, she has her own fractal.
Yo mama’s so slow, a speed buff can make her “Outrun a Dolyak”
Yo mama’s so ugly, she’s the reason the Dredge are blind.

Yo mama’s so fat, she makes the Pale Tree look small.
Yo mama’s so fat, the elder dragons look like drakes.
Yo mama’s so dumb, she makes the quaggan angry.
Yo mama’s so fat, the grawl started worshipping her.

Yo mama’s so fat, she’s immune to stability

Yo momma’s so fat, when Vizier Khilbron read from the Lost Scroll, he summoned her to Orr, and that’s why it sank!

I love reading these !

~ Yo mama is so dumb, she salvaged Twilight for ores. . .

Yo mama is so dumb, she worships grawl.
Yo mama is so fat, the hylek fears her coming will blot out the sun forever.
Yo mama is so ugly, Kormir uses her likeness to chase away torment demons.
Yo mama is so ugly, she made Abaddon wish he was blind.
There is no Deep Sea Dragon. Yo mama just went for a swim.

Yo mama is so ugly, she’s the reason the Mursaat phased out…
Yo mama is so dumb, she thinks an infinity ball is a toy for cats…
Yo mama is so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, she made the krait and quaggan flee to the land…
Yo mama is so hungry, she’s the reason why no corpse of Zhaitan has been seen afterwards. …
Yo mama is so ugly, she’s the reason why the gods left Tyria…
Yo mama is so ugly, she’s the reason why Primordus is still underground…

Yo mama’s so fat, she need’s 2 waypoints to move around.

You momma so ugly people thought she was an avatar of Lyssa.

You mama so far she needs her own map instance.

Your momma so fat, Anet created a new place for her. They now call it the mists.
Your momma so fat, lion’s arch has to plan their construction around her.
Your mamma so fat, when she tries to bathe, her waves knock over Tequatl.
Your mamma so fat, Zepharite air ships now have to set a weight limit.
Your mamma so fat, Anet had to make HoT 3 stories.
Your mamma so fat, she needs swiftness just to move.
Your mamma so fat, even the chronomancer can’t help her loose weight.

Yo mama so fat, she thought Mordremoth was a salad.
Yo mama so ugly, even Dhuum doesn’t want her.
Yo mama so ugly, no mesmer could help her.

Your mama’s cooking is so bad, even Seimur Oxbone agrees that no good can come of feeding it to living beings!

Yo mama so fat, she sank Orr just by visiting the island.

Yo Mama so fat, she sat on Cantha and passed wind on the Jade Sea.

Yo mama is so fat, she takes up all your extra character slots.
Yo mama is so fat, her bikini line has its own explorer achievement.
Yo mama is so fat, Zhaitan claimed her as his domain by mistake.
Yo mama is so fat, when she discovers a new vista, it becomes night time
Yo mama is so fat, when she finds diving goggles, people start building rafts
Yo mama is so fat, when she does a jumping puzzle, they have to replace it with a new one afterwards.

Yo mama so ugly even the Risen were like ‘daaaayuuum’.

Yo mama so fat, a Jotun mistook her for his wife.

Yo mama so ugly, she is why the Gods are absent.

Yo mama so fat, Zhaitan couldn’t ‘raise’ her if he tried.

Yo mama so stupid she won’t complete any map because she ’hasn’t got windows vista’.

Yo mama so fat, her cankles reach the bottom of the unending ocean.

Yo mama so ugly, she makes dredge cry.

Yo mama so hipster, she worshipped Abaddon before it was cool.

Mad Queen Malafide.7512:

Yo mama is so fat, her bikini line has its own explorer achievement.

I had to hold my laugh so hard here at work, good job.

Haha, why thank you darling! There’s plenty more where that came from.

Yo mama is so fat, when she stood up she got achievement points.
Yo mama is so fat, you’re still missing 2 PoI and a Vista for completion.

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought that Scarlet was a wonderfully complex and deep character.
Yo mama is so stupid, the Asura decided to start studying her instead of the Skritt.

Yo mama is so ugly, she applies Fear every 5secs in a 600 range.
Yo mama is so ugly, even Zhaitan turned her down.

Yo mama is so fat, not even Arena-Net can keep her on the table™.

Yo mamma’s so ugly, she made Malchor jump off a cliff.

Yo mamma’s so dumb, she’s the reason Tybalt remained on Claw Island (…still to soon?)

Yo mamma’s so fat, even Logan can’t escape her.

Yo mama is so fat, Breach Maker is her middle name.
Yo mama is so fat, no one can rub her back unless Anet implements mounts first.
Yo mama is so fat, she has her own map marker!
Yo mama is so fat, that we worried about putting a giant stone lobster in Lion’s Arch.
Yo mama is so fat, herds of Dolyaks follow her around.
Yo mama is so fat, she can hold a keep in WvW by just sitting down.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she puts on diving goggles, people claw out their own eye balls in horror.

Yo mama is so fat , every step counts as a blast finisher.
Yo mama is so ugly , she has her own rune.

Yo mama rune:

(1): +25 Toughness
(2): 100% chance when struck to inflict 25 stacks of torment for 15 seconds. (Cooldown: 10 seconds)
(3): +50 Toughness
(4): 100% chance to cause Fear for 15s when hit. (Cooldown: 10s)
(5): +100 Toughness
(6): Deal dmg on enemys looking at you und blinding them for 15 seconds. (Cooldown: 1 second)

Yo mama is so fat she broke the cattlepult.