PvP in a nutshell

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Posted by: TheMightyAltroll.3485

TheMightyAltroll.3485

Temple of the Silent Skritt:
Everyone caps like normal until 8:30. Then everyone dies in the bottom of a pit trying to press ‘f’ on a shiny thing.

Legacy of the Faceroll:
You can dominate everyone here until they decide to kill a single NPC which automatically allows them to win.

Forest of Nifl’s-hell:
2 people hold 2 points while 2 other people run back and forth screaming obscenities, whilst a 3rd person generally a Thief dodges around a hostile crowd stabbing giant NPCs in the ankles with pine needles hoping he gets the kill.

Battle of Khylo:
1 Person stands on a point, while the rest eat giant boulders in a tower.

Raid on the Capricorn:
People run frantically back and forth between Beach and Dock trying to kill each other, while avoiding the water point as though it’s the plague.

Spirit Watch:
A spectating match between watching either team’s elementalist try to run the orb. Essentially like football, but less balanced.


Guardian:
He who spams boons. Generally annoying people by being hard to kill.

Engineer:
He who spams conditions. Generally annoying people by spamming conditions.

Necromancer:
Frustrated with watching his 8 stacks of bleed disappear due to constant AoE condition cleansing. Moments before committing suicide at the sight of a Monk from GW1.

Elementalist:
He who lawls loudly between mistforms.

Warrior:
Lives by the creed “Thou shalt not kill” added an extra rule “Thou shalt not live passed 20 seconds either”

Mesmer:
He who spams shatter whilst being begged by his team to set us up the portal. Can also manipulate time and space to allow his team to flail pointlessly around 50% faster with a 210 second cooldown.

Thief:
The lowly Scavenger, he preys on the weakest of the pack until people are impressed with his efforts enough to start the mating call, which roughly consists of “Omg Thief is OP l2p”

Ranger:
Trained from birth by the legendary Spartan Shaolin nomads to dominate people at a distance using the Bow of the gods and also a tiny bird hyped up on Steroids and Chuck Norris’ essence. They can also regenerate limbs.

Contact me ingame for Necro, Ranger, Mesmer, and Thief advice.

(edited by TheMightyAltroll.3485)

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Posted by: Dan.8709

Dan.8709

Hahahahaa, +1, nicely done.

Daniel Cousland – Darkhaven

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Posted by: Mathias.9657

Mathias.9657

Oh so true lmfao.

Back to WoW, make GW2 fun please.

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Posted by: TheMightyAltroll.3485

TheMightyAltroll.3485

I just thought of this stuff by my frustrations in this game.

Contact me ingame for Necro, Ranger, Mesmer, and Thief advice.

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Posted by: Raptured.9307

Raptured.9307

I….. Yeah. That sounds about right.

Rank 37 spvp, dungeon master
[HL] Deadly Protection @ Sanctum of Culling

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Posted by: Hammerheart.1426

Hammerheart.1426

I wish this wasn’t so accurate.

+1

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Posted by: FLIMP.8172

FLIMP.8172

+1. Great post hahahaha

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Posted by: Psybunny.8906

Psybunny.8906

Good one and disturbingly accurate.
+1

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Posted by: Myrmidian Eudoros.4671

Myrmidian Eudoros.4671

Very funny. More please.

+1

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Posted by: Eccentric Duck.7510

Eccentric Duck.7510

Legit post, well played.

+1

Salad engineer

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Posted by: kailin.4905

kailin.4905

The only issue I have with that is only 3 of those classes even bother to enter PVP anymore. Everyone else has quit or re-rolled by now.
+1 and keep it flowing

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Posted by: Dolan.3071

Dolan.3071

Not always so! I hit 30 seconds once… That was a good day…

Uriel Asther ~ Warrior | Kaya Lereau ~ Elementalist | Natalie Fox ~ Thief
Skye Eterna ~ Mesmer | Arya Slade ~ Charrdian | Kiera Thine ~ Ranger
Oceanic ~ [LOD] [Noob]

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Posted by: SovereignHegemony.4160

SovereignHegemony.4160

+ 1 Rofl rofl rofl rofl

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Posted by: Recently.1043

Recently.1043

Logged in and played for the first time in about 3 months on my main (warrior).

I was the only warrior in every hot join spvp server i entered………. it was surreal. Eventually i swapped to my guardian cause people kept looking at me funny.

Call me when this game gets fixed…. if it ever does….

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Posted by: TheMightyAltroll.3485

TheMightyAltroll.3485

I know your feels, bro.

Contact me ingame for Necro, Ranger, Mesmer, and Thief advice.

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Posted by: Fubar.4389

Fubar.4389

This post delivered

Marmite – Engineer – Desolation – EU

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Posted by: Oni Link.4621

Oni Link.4621

+1
This topic should be sticky!! XD

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Posted by: SuperHaze.4210

SuperHaze.4210

+1
Keep this post alive

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Posted by: Waffler.1257

Waffler.1257

I laughed for a good 2 mins at the temple of the silent storms one. All I use spvp for nowadays is testing builds for wvw, which has its own list of problems.

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Posted by: Engels.8537

Engels.8537

I started reading thinking “lol so true” and ended up laughing tears.

Don’t talk to me about toughness and vitality, damage avoidance is all in this game

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Posted by: forrae.6708

forrae.6708

strangely accurate.

thugged out since cubscouts

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Posted by: Arganthium.5638

Arganthium.5638

Pretty much. +1

Thief|Mesmer|
Theorycrafter

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Posted by: pullnointer.1476

pullnointer.1476

it’s a sad, sad day.

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Posted by: TheMightyAltroll.3485

TheMightyAltroll.3485

It’s not a sad day. Just an average day in the wonderful world of PvP.

Contact me ingame for Necro, Ranger, Mesmer, and Thief advice.

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Posted by: KarlaGrey.5903

KarlaGrey.5903

Haha, awesomeness.

I’d just change ‘Niflhel’ to ‘Niflhell’ though and necromancer’s 25 stacks of bleed (wtf :p) to 10 stacks of bleed.

RIP ‘gf left me coz of ladderboard’ Total views: 71,688 Total posts: 363

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Posted by: TheMightyAltroll.3485

TheMightyAltroll.3485

Haha, awesomeness.

I’d just change ‘Niflhel’ to ‘Niflhell’ though and necromancer’s 25 stacks of bleed (wtf :p) to 10 stacks of bleed.

Thanks, fixed.

Contact me ingame for Necro, Ranger, Mesmer, and Thief advice.

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Posted by: Demosthene.2195

Demosthene.2195

Random:

Windmill Boulders Massacre

Raid on the Jack-Sparrow

Football Watch

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Posted by: Archaon.6245

Archaon.6245

+1 hands down man

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Posted by: Stabby.9815

Stabby.9815

omg +1. so true.

only change I might add is:
Mesmer:
He who spams greatsword abilities because other weapons require too much skill.

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Posted by: Ottohi.2871

Ottohi.2871

This. Made. My. Day.
+1s many times to you good sir/madam

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Posted by: TehPenGu.6127

TehPenGu.6127

Holy kittenballs. I leave GW for 3 months, return, find this post, and realize I have not missed out on much. +1.

WE BUILT THIS CITY!

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Posted by: pullnointer.1476

pullnointer.1476

It’s not a sad day. Just an average day in the wonderful world of PvP.

you have no idea what I just commented on do you?

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Posted by: TheMightyAltroll.3485

TheMightyAltroll.3485

Who knows. I could say: “Tongue foot purple” and people wouldn’t know what I’m talking about, is it their fault, or should I learn how to put an actual subject in my sentences like “The purple monkey stuck his tongue out at his foot”

Contact me ingame for Necro, Ranger, Mesmer, and Thief advice.