Guild Wars 2

So okay, here’s my ultimate PvP wish list. Everyone should listen to me because I’m super experienced.

Engineer

Reserve Mines – Removed the internal cooldown. Threshold set to 100%. Renamed to “OMG Mines”.

Accelerant-Packed Turrets – This now launches foes. Renamed to “BOOOM PUCUUUUUSH!”

Utility Goggles – This now reveals everything for 10 minutes. All thieves die. kitten thieves.

Kit Refinement – Reverted to original functionality.

Hidden Flask – Removed internal cooldown. Renamed to “Drunkard”.

Flame Turret – Renamed to “Awful Turret”.

Thief

Renamed class to “WAAAHHH WHY ME!?”. Players on different classes will see it named “OH GOD OP BS INCOMING”

Pistol Whip – This now immobilizes and stuns for 2 seconds. Does 50% more damage. Might need some changes to find that sweet spot.

Traps – They do a tiny bit more damage now…find a sweet spot for it…

Dagger Training – Daggers deal +5% more damage per initiative.

Mug – Now steals money from target foe in all game modes.

Last Refuge – Is now that minor adept trait on all lines. Get at me.

All Other Thief Skills – Reverted to launch day state.

Mesmer

Confounding Suggestions – Moved to Adept tier

Illusionary Persona – Moved to Adept tier.

Moa Morph – Renamed to “Logan Thackery”. Player now turns into Logan Thackery instead of a Moa. If underwater, player turns into a random non-ranger player character.

Warrior

Fear Me! – Seriously. kittening Run. This skill is now terrifying.

Berserker’s Stance – Now only reduces condition duration by 200% instead of complete immunity.

Dolyak Signet – Changed functionality to: Passive: Grants Stability. Active: Grants Stability. Super Active: GRANTS STABILITY! FFFFFF Stability.

New Shout Skill: “HEY WANT STABILITY!?” – Grants stability.

New Shout Skill: “OKAY!” Also grants stability.

Elementalist

Elemental Attunement – Moved to Grand Master.

New Option – Added an option to the F11 menu that automatically casts the elementalist’s elite skill after using meteor shower. Switches it to Tornado if it wasn’t already that.

They’re in a pretty good spot. Not many changes needed. I got bursted down by one the other day, so yeah. Good spot.

Necromancer

Removed a bleed stack from somewhere or other.

Terror – Moved to Adept.

Dhuumfire – Moved to Adept.

New Skill! “Battle by Proxy” – Just lets the minions do it. Too busy on reddit.

Ranger

Added a new slot for rangers called the “Spirit” slot. Added a new skill:

Spirit of Chaos -

Passive: Allies have a 35%/70% chance to cause confusion on hit. Interval: 3 seconds.

Active: Splits into more spirits that also cause confusion. And annoyance. New condition: Annoyance. You get annoyed.

Pet Leash Range – Increase to infinite. Pets now never give up on you. Ever. EVER! (So different)

New Healing Skills!

S.O.S. – If you die, you’re saved. But you die again because screw you. Removes 0 conditions.

Awesome Venom – Does awesome things. Recharge: A billion.

Spirit of Why – Why did we do this. Oh gawd it’s too late.

New Class! Chronomancer

This class can control time.

Runes

Runes of Lyssa – kittening Dead.

Everything else – ’s fine.
—————————————————————————————————————-

Pretty sure that’s all the classes.

(I’m joking here, don’t take this seriously or get super kitten over this. All written in good fun. Not trying to personally attack anyone or any company. Love you all.)

The Gates Assassin.9827:

Kit Refinement – Reverted to original functionality.

Is the least likely change to happen on the entire list

Mug should be instant-kill when the enemy doesn’t have any penny.

Cero.5132:

The Gates Assassin.9827:

Kit Refinement – Reverted to original functionality.

Is the least likely change to happen on the entire list

Sad but true. /salutes 100 nades

get this dude a contract pls!

And even more people posting how to balance xD .
How many hints u need to understand that u will be ignored ? :P

Baldric.6781:

And even more people posting how to balance xD .
How many hints u need to understand that u will be ignored ? :P

These are too strong to be ignored.

The force is too strong in this one .
Well, good luck with that.

Baldric.6781:

And even more people posting how to balance xD .
How many hints u need to understand that u will be ignored ? :P

Did you even read the OP? :P It’s a joke, not serious

“HEY WANT STABILITY?” “OKAY!”

Keira Ferland.5619:

“HEY WANT STABILITY?” “OKAY!”

FFFFFFFF STABILITY

I knew this would happen.

Countless

I think “Logan Thackery” should be Trahearne Morph instead. Infinitely more annoying.

No changes for guardian? This sounds legit, you must work for balance team.

You forgot something.

Warrior:
Earthshaker: Doubled AoE Radius.
Combustive Shot: Doubled AoE Radius, renamed ‘Run, You Fools’.

Ranger:
Greatsword replaced with wet noodle.

Bads gunna bad, l2p scrub.

P Fun Daddy.1208:

I think “Logan Thackery” should be Trahearne Morph instead. Infinitely more annoying.

It’s more because when you’re in Moa Form, you run away, and Logan is very good at that. So is anyone who isn’t an invulnerable ranger underwater.

Stop being bad.

I know this is a joke thread, but one thing I keep seeing. “Reduced condition duration by X%”.

What’s 100% of 5 seconds? 5.
5-5=0
-100% condition duration is immunity.

What the hell is -200% condition duration LOL.

TNoD.8143:

I know this is a joke thread, but one thing I keep seeing. “Reduced condition duration by X%”.

What’s 100% of 5 seconds? 5.
5-5=0
-100% condition duration is immunity.

What the hell is -200% condition duration LOL.

A lot of posts say that they want to change Berserker’s Stance/Automated Response to be -100% condition duration instead of complete immunity, so that way we at least get whatever condition duration we put on. So for example, if you take the fear duration trait (+50%), you would still get half the duration of your fear instead of it being immuned. However, for the vast majority of builds and skills, -100% duration and immunity are the exact same thing. Even if you have 10%-30% duration, you basically get almost nothing out of most conditions, especially since you don’t get partial damage out of conditions (only on full seconds). A 7 second blind turns into a ~1-2 second blind. Whoopdeedoo. That 12 second bleed for 2k damage turns into 3.6 second bleed for 600 damage. I’ll get the streamers.

To me, it’s a lot of people trying to bargain with devs, and IMO, it should either be adjusted to be a shorter stance duration (3s with a 40s cooldown for example) or be reworked entirely (Only immune to certain conditions such as blind, crippled, chilled, immob and fear).

lol this thread was actually fun to read

i want that mug O.o

The Gates Assassin.9827:

P Fun Daddy.1208:

I think “Logan Thackery” should be Trahearne Morph instead. Infinitely more annoying.

It’s more because when you’re in Moa Form, you run away, and Logan is very good at that. So is anyone who isn’t an invulnerable ranger underwater.

Ah, I see. Perfect then.

The Gates Assassin.9827:

(I’m joking here, don’t take this seriously or get super kitten over this. All written in good fun. Not trying to personally attack anyone or any company. Love you all.)

Can’t take a joke and is personally insulted and full of hatred for you and your kin… IS COMING FOR YOU! >=(

crunching baby bunnies out of spite

Daishi.6027:

The Gates Assassin.9827:

(I’m joking here, don’t take this seriously or get super kitten over this. All written in good fun. Not trying to personally attack anyone or any company. Love you all.)

Can’t take a joke and is personally insulted and full of hatred for you and your kin… IS COMING FOR YOU! >=(

crunching baby bunnies out of spite

Crap. You must play guardian. SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT YOU! YOU’RE JUST SO PERFECTLY BALANCE AND NOT REQUIRING OF CHANGE!

The Gates Assassin.9827:

Daishi.6027:

The Gates Assassin.9827:

(I’m joking here, don’t take this seriously or get super kitten over this. All written in good fun. Not trying to personally attack anyone or any company. Love you all.)

Can’t take a joke and is personally insulted and full of hatred for you and your kin… IS COMING FOR YOU! >=(

crunching baby bunnies out of spite

Crap. You must play guardian. SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT YOU! YOU’RE JUST SO PERFECTLY BALANCE AND NOT REQUIRING OF CHANGE!

PFFFT! Dun second guess ppls class! It’s rude! FYI I’m 30/30/30/30/5 Bunker Thief with double short bow and 250 Jezza’s flamethrower!